Cherishing You (24 page)

Our entire world was on cloud nine—well, except for Texas lingering in the background. Eh, just a minor detail if you think about everything that’s happened since Andi’s surprise party today . . . Yesterday? Hell, I don’t even know what to call it.

I lay my head on the edge of Mom’s bed, afraid to touch anything other than her hand. The amount of damage and tubes coming out of her is unimaginable. I don’t know how she’s survived all this, but it gives me hope that she’ll come out if it even stronger than before the accident.

That is,
if
she comes out of it. She still hasn’t woken up; I know the doctor said she will when her body’s ready to, but I really wish it was now. I need to know she’s going to make it out of this. I close my eyes and say a quick prayer for God to please help my mother.

I must have dozed off because I wake up to someone saying my name—or maybe I’m dreaming it, because I don’t hear it now. I feel the sunlight on my cheek, but I’m not quite ready to wake up yet. . . .

I hear my name again, so soft and quiet I almost miss it. It kind of sounds like Mom’s voice, but a lot weaker than normal. She usually has a strong, stubborn tone, probably from my teenage years of rebellion. Nah, I think I was a pretty good kid really. My mom had much bigger problems to worry about for me to be adding to her stress.

“Ethan,” someone says again. At least, that’s what I think they’re saying. I decide I’m not dreaming and need to wake up; just like that, my eyes pop open and I’m suddenly aware of being in the hospital in Mom’s room.

I slowly raise my head and take a look at her. She is lying in the same exact spot as when I fell asleep, except this time she’s looking at me, a dozen questions in her eyes.

I grab her hand. “Mom, can you hear me?” She tries to speak again, but the tube in her mouth is obviously bothering her.

“Hold on, Mom, let me get a nurse. I’ll be right back.” I run out of her room to the nurses’ desk. Not seeing anyone, I yell out, “Hello? Is there anyone here? My mom, she’s awake!”

“Oh, that’s fantastic! I’ll page the doctor and we’ll be right in,” a short nurse says as she walks out of another room.

She goes to the desk and picks up the phone, telling the doctor about my mom being awake. Hanging up, she goes straight to Mom’s room. I don’t know what to do, so I follow her in there.

“Okay now, Carrie . . . Wait, is it okay that I call you Carrie?” She looks down at Mom, who chokes out what sounds like a “yeah.” I go to the opposite side of the bed and grab her hand again.

“All right, Carrie. We’re going to wait for the doctor to get here and then we’ll take this tube out of your mouth and make sure you can breathe well enough on your own. Just try to relax for a few more minutes.” She logs onto the computer in the room, making some notes—I assume about Mom waking up and what not. I don’t care as long as it helps her get that tube out.

It seems like forever, but the doctor finally walks in and checks her out. He listens to her lungs and checks the ventilator machine, telling the nurse to get something ready. Then he turns around to talk to me.

“So it appears that—”

My cell phone rings, interrupting him. I didn’t even think about it being on, so I apologize as I reach in my pocket and turn it off quickly.

“I’m sorry about that. Please continue.”

He clears his throat. “As I was saying, it appears like she’s trying to breathe over top of the machine, and since she appears to be awake we’re going to try to wean her off it. It’ll take some time, so you’ll have to go back in the waiting area. Hopefully, all goes well and you can come back in shortly. If not, she may need to keep the tube for a while longer. Do you have any questions?”

“No, I understand. Thank you.” I turn towards the bed. “Mom, I know you can’t talk, but they’re going to take good care of you. I’ll be back in shortly, okay? I love you, Mom.”

She blinks at me as if to say she understands.

I quickly turn around and leave the room. Finding a restroom, I relieve myself and, after washing my hands, decide to wash my face as well. After drying it, I take a long stretch, trying to work out the kinks in my back and neck muscles.
Man, I’m sore. Of course, it’s probably nothing to how Mom’s feeling right now.

Now that I’m starting to feel a little more human, I head to the cafeteria and grab some coffee. I get a cup and go back to the waiting room of the ICU. I don’t know how long it’s all going to take, but it doesn’t matter; I’m just grateful she’s alive and awake. That has to mean she’s going to be okay, doesn’t it?

Until the doctor tells me otherwise, that’s what I’m going with. I really wish Andi was here with me, that she didn’t have to go back to Texas today. Why couldn’t it be next week or something? Then again, it would hurt just as much then as it does now. I wonder if she’ll even call and tell me bye. After the way I treated her last night, I doubt it. I hate myself for being mean to her, but I know she wouldn’t leave if I wasn’t. I hope she’ll forgive me; I don’t know if I could handle her not talking to me anymore. I’m as addicted to her as an alcoholic is to liquor. She’s definitely my fix.

I lean my head against the wall and smile at the memory of her jumping off the back of that gator and running to me, leaping into my arms. Oh, and that laugh of hers. Man, I’m going to miss it while she’s gone. Who am I kidding—I miss her so much already. I wonder if she’s left yet; I need to call her and give her an update.

I guess I should wait until I find out if Mom’s going to tolerate coming off the ventilator first. I really hope she does. I need to figure out what kind of damage was done. I really hope it’s nothing permanent—Mom is a very independent person.

I almost forgot my phone rang while Dr. Stevens was talking to me.
I guess I should see who was calling me.
It looks like it came from the shop, which is odd since it’s Sunday. Hmm, why would Ron be in the shop? It would have to be him, since we’re usually the only ones there. I search through my phone—no texts.

I actually feel a little disappointed that Andi hasn’t texted me. I really hope she isn’t still mad at me.
Maybe there’s a voicemail from whoever called from the shop.
Just as I start to check, I hear my name called.

I quickly hang up the phone, grab my coffee, and head to the nurse, who tells me to follow her. She leads me back to Mom’s room, and I see the tube’s been removed. Mom’s lying there with her eyes closed, so I don’t say anything; instead, I walk over to the side of her bed and put my hand around hers, just like I held it most of the night. She gives my hand a small squeeze, and I look up at her and smile.

“Hey, Mom. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Hey . . . Sorry . . . Throat is very sore,” Mom manages to say between several attempts to clear her throat, wincing each time.

“It’s okay, save your voice. I can tell it hurts. I’m just glad to hear you say anything at all. Thank God you’re okay, Mom.”

She gives me a weak smile, and I know she probably needs to rest, but I’m not ready to let go of her just yet.

“Mom, you don’t have to talk. Just smile or nod or something instead. Does that work?”

She gives me a slight nod, which I take as a yes.

“Do you know where you are right now?” She nods again.

“Okay, is there anything you need? Are you hurting anywhere?”

She nods again, so I put the call light on and tell the nurse she seems to be hurting. The nurse states she’ll bring something right away.

I tell Mom that I’ll let her rest for a bit. The nurse comes in with some medicine for her pain, explaining it will most likely put her to sleep. Mom needs the rest anyway, so she gives it to her. It’s only a matter of minutes before Mom’s fast asleep.

I wake up and just lie there; I don’t want to get up and face this day. I don’t want it to be Sunday, and I sure as hell don’t want Ethan to be at the hospital with his mom, fighting for her life. I don’t want to feel like he doesn’t want me anymore, like he’s forcing me to go back to Texas and start this wonderful new job. Well, it won’t be wonderful, because he won’t be there. He won’t be in Texas, waiting for me when I get off work so I can tell him how much I love it, or hate it.

I want to be here, with Ethan. With Mom and Dad and everyone else I grew up with. I know most people would kill for the opportunity I’ve been given, a chance at starting off my career in a top-notch business. Too bad I couldn’t care less about it, or Texas for that matter. Right now, all I want is to get dressed as fast as I can and get back to the hospital to be there for Carrie, and for Ethan. But he doesn’t want me there; he made that perfectly clear last night . . . didn’t he?

His words are still ringing in my head. I never thought he’d push me away like this. I mean, when we got in the argument after graduation, it sucked, but this? This is hurting way worse, and I didn’t think that was possible before.
Why did I let him get that close to me? Ugh! I’m so stupid.

It all makes me firing mad. Who is he to tell me to go back to Texas? That’s complete bullshit. I bet he thinks he’s holding me back, but it’s still bull. If this is how he thinks this relationship is going to go then he has another thing coming. I’m completely capable of making my own decisions. Hell, I would think I’ve proven that, having been on my own these last four years. I didn’t need him to decide for me then, and I don’t need it now.

I pull the covers over my head and take a deep breath. I wish it were all so simple, to just hide under the blanket and go back to sleep, escaping for a while longer. But I know burying my head in the sand won’t make the problems go away any more than running from them. I need to get up and make some official decisions.

I stretch out all my limbs one by one, deciding I need a long, hot shower. Of course, I should probably run first considering I haven’t run the whole time I’ve been home, but eh, I think I’ll take the shower instead. I pull back the covers just as I hear a knock on my door.

“Yeah?” I call out.

“Andi, it’s me. Can I come in?” Ethan calls from the other side of my bedroom door.
Eekkkk! What is he doing here? He should be at the hospital.
I look down at myself, and I know my eyes have to be puffy.

I’m a wreck. I can’t let him see me like this.

“Andi, please, open the door. I know you just woke up, and I don’t care what you look like. You’re always beautiful to me. I really need to tell you something, okay? Can I come in?”

I’m surprised he hasn’t barged in yet—after all, the door’s unlocked. I wait a few more seconds before I start to worry if it’s bad news about Carrie.

“Come in, Ethan, it’s fine.”

He immediately opens the door. Running to my bed, where I’m still lying, he scoops me up and gives me the biggest bear hug.

“She woke up, Andi! She finally woke up!” He grabs my face with both of his hands and lands a hard kiss on my lips. Almost as quickly, he releases my mouth and gives me another tight squeeze.

“Oh, that’s so awesome! I’m so glad to hear that. Is she doing okay? Does she know what happened? Or why she got in the car with him?” I know I’m babbling, but I can’t seem to help it; my emotions are all over the place.

“She actually hasn’t talked much, but they’ve removed the tube. She’s very tired still, and her throat is raw from the tube. I could tell she’s in a lot of pain still, so I told her to try to sleep. The nurse brought her something for the pain and she was back out. I’m sorry I woke you up, I was just so happy I wanted to come tell you in person.”

“I’m so glad you did; I’ve been really worried about her. You didn’t wake me up though, so don’t feel bad about it. I was just going to grab a shower.”

“Oh . . . If we were anywhere but here, I’d be more than happy to help you with that shower.” Ethan flashes me an evil grin, and my heart flips in my chest.

This guy is driving me crazy. Five minutes ago I was all pissed off at him, and now I’m a puddle at his feet. I guess that’s part of being in love, but I still don’t know what I’m going to do, and I can’t figure it out with him tugging on my emotions like this.