Cherishing You (23 page)

“He says she’s stable but still in critical condition, and the next twenty-four hours are the biggest issue. Listen, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me and Mom, but you all should go home and get some rest. There’s nothing you can do here, and it’s really late.”

“Ethan, it doesn’t matter how late it is. We’re your family too, and we’re glad to be here for you, but if you want us to go home we will. The last thing we want is to put pressure on you. How about Ron and I go home, get a few hours’ sleep, and bring back breakfast? Would that be okay with you?”

“You don’t have to do that; besides, Andi, you need to get packed. And before you say anything, you better not even think about backing out of it. Mom is going to come out of this just fine. There’s a long road ahead of her, but she’ll be okay. I know she will.”

“Ethan, I haven’t had much chance to talk to you about it, but I—”

“No, Andi, I don’t want this to happen like this. I love you and I always will, but you have to try the new job. If you don’t, you’ll always wonder if you should have. No more regrets. We aren’t breaking up by any means, but I want you to try it. After you get settled in and decide if you like it, then we’ll figure out how to make us work.”

“But I don’t—”

“Andi, I love you, but I’m not negotiating on this. I cannot be the reason you stay here.” I give her a quick kiss. I know this is going to kill me as soon as she goes out the door, but I have to push her away. If I don’t then she won’t go, not with everything going on, and that’s not the way I want this to work out.

I hug her to me with all my strength then let her go, hugging Bev then Ron.

“Son, I think you’re making a big mistake here. You need her by your side just as much as she needs to be here with you,” Ron whispers in my ear as he hugs me back.

I just look at him. Before I can say anything, the door opens and a nurse says we can see Mom now.

“Thank you, I’ll be right there.” I turn back to them, look at Andi, and say, “I’ll call you later. Get some sleep. I love you, baby.”

I don’t wait for them to leave; instead, I turn around and head towards my mom’s room. I don’t think I can handle watching her leave anyway.

Damn him!
I know he’s stressed out and there’s a lot going on but damn it, he needs to shut up and listen for a minute.
What the hell?

“Andi? Are you okay, sweetie?” Mom asks.

“Well, I’m okay as I can be considering my boyfriend just dismissed me like a child and ordered me to go back to Texas. Who the hell does he think he is? You know what? It doesn’t even matter. He’s made it clear he doesn’t want me here, so if you guys don’t mind, let’s go home. I need some sleep, and I’m sure you guys do too.”

“Andi.” Dad puts his hand on my shoulder. “Are you sure this is what you want to do? I mean, we all know he’s just feeling bad, thinking he’s putting us out. And remember, he doesn’t know you’d already made up your mind about staying, so he thinks if you don’t go then you’re staying because of what happened to Carrie and not because that’s what you really want to do.”

“I know he’s probably just upset right now and he’s pushing us away. I don’t really know what I’m going to do anymore. I just know he doesn’t want us here right now, and we can’t do anything else, so let’s just go home and get some sleep. Maybe he’ll have chilled out enough for me to talk some sense into him by then.”

“Okay, honey. Let’s get going then, if that’s what you want to do,” Mom says.

“Well, it’s not, but I don’t think there’s any other choice.” With that, we pile out of the hospital to the car. After driving through town and hitting the highway, Dad mentions it’s been several hours since we all ate. It seems like a lifetime ago that we were all laughing and joking out by the pond, when everything was perfect and I had made my decision to stay, waiting on the right time to tell Ethan my good news. I figured he’d be so excited that I was staying, because it makes perfect sense; we could easily be together, I would spend a lot more time with Mom and Dad, and he could stay working with Dad at the shop. Plus, we could continue racing at Steve’s track with everyone.

I’m not really hungry, but my parents decide we should eat something anyway, so we go into a small truck stop restaurant not too far from the highway. I only order a water, which apparently doesn’t work for Mom and Dad, so they order me a chocolate milkshake too.

“I know it’s not nutritional, but if you’re really not hungry then you can at least drink a milkshake. They’re amazing here, believe it or not.”

“Okay, Mom, that’s fine. Thank you.”

“It’s going to be all right, sweetheart. I know things seem crazy right now, but that boy loves you. Don’t let his fear drive you two apart.”

“I hope you’re right, Mom.” I don’t really have much else to say, so I excuse myself to the restroom. Once there, I take my time; I’m not trying to avoid my parents, I just don’t know what to say. I’m kind of embarrassed that they had to witness Ethan basically kicking us out and him telling me to move back to Texas.

I know that’s not how he meant it, but it’s how it felt. Maybe I should go back and take that new job. Maybe it’s not the right time for us to be together. I don’t know what to do. I mean, I thought I was making the best decision, one I would never regret, but now it seems like Ethan might not want me to stay. What if he doesn’t want a future with me?

Or maybe I’m emotional with everything that’s happened tonight and just need to go home and get some sleep. Yeah, that’s probably what we both need. After that, maybe I can think more clearly and try to make a decision. Maybe Ethan will be calmer too, and he won’t be pushing for me to leave. I really hope Carrie wakes up by the morning. As much as I love Ethan, I really care about her too. I can’t believe all this has happened; it’s like a huge nightmare that just keeps spiraling out of control.

I finally pull myself together and go back to the table. Once again, I’m awed at the sight of my beautiful parents and their relationship. They’re sitting beside each other in the booth, and Dad is giving Mom a bite of whatever they’re eating. They are each other’s soul mates, I believe it. I thought Ethan was mine, but now I feel like he’s pushing me away again at the slightest bit of trouble. Okay, so maybe not ‘again,’ but that’s kind of how I felt before, like he was choosing Kelly over me and pushing me out of the picture. Like he didn’t want me there.

I sit down at the table and give my parents a smile.

“Feel better, sweetheart?” Mom asks.

“No, not really. I just love seeing the two of you together. I’m really glad you’re so happy together.”

“Well, that’s just because your mother makes me act that way. If I don’t, she’d beat me when we go to our room at night. I know she looks small, but she has one hell of a punch.” Dad barely gets this out before he busts out laughing. As if to prove his point, Mom smacks him on the shoulder.

“See?” Dad asks, laughing.

“Oh, Ron, you’re so rotten,” Mom says, but she can’t help but laugh too.

“Right, Dad. You’re
so
bullied by Mom, aren’t you.”

“You know it, that’s why I keep coming back for more.” He gives her a quick kiss.

Most people would be grossed out by their parents showing affection in front of them, but it doesn’t bother me. I’d much rather them be happy and in love than be miserable and hate each other.

I only hope Ethan and I can have a love like theirs, one that will last a lifetime. If only we could get back on the same page.
Ugh! All this unknown crap is killing me.
I peel back the paper on my straw and place it in my chocolate milkshake. Even though I’m not hungry, they were right—this thing is amazing. Before I know it, I’ve sucked down half of it.

“Are you sure you’re not hungry, Andi?” Dad asks. “You sure are drinking your milkshake down pretty fast.”

“Oh, this? No, I’m not really hungry, but this tastes really good.” I take another big slurp from it.

“That they are,” Mom says with a giggle.

They finish their food, Dad pays for the meal, and we get back in the car. A couple of times they try to make small talk, but I’m just not up to it; I’m way too distracted with everything floating through my head to carry on my side of the conversation anyway.

We finally pull into the driveway and I look down by the pond. It breaks my heart a little more knowing that less than eight hours ago, everything was so wonderful and amazing, and now . . . Now it all just sucks.

“It’ll all work out how it’s supposed to, honey,” Mom says, placing her hand on my shoulder gently.

I turn and look at her, about to argue, but something in her eyes makes me feel better. There’s nothing like being comforted by her; she always seems to know what I need.

Instead of telling her how dark everything looks now, I simply say, “Thank you, Mom.” I give her hand a squeeze and say good night—or rather good day—to them. Heading inside, I take the stairs to my room.

I quietly undress and throw on a tank and a pair of shorts. Then I throw my down comforter back, climb into bed, and pull the comforter over my head. I just want to end this crazy nightmare and go back to waking up in Ethan’s arms again. That was amazing. I think about his arms wrapped around me until I fall asleep.

I sit here in Mom’s room at her bedside, staring at the machines flashing numbers across the screen. I don’t know what most of them mean, but the nurse pointed out some so I can see how fast her heart is beating; she said the little lines going across is a good heart rhythm. All I know is they’re not alarming, and she continues to have even, steady breaths, so I assume everything is going how it should.

Then again, how the hell would I know? It doesn’t seem like anything’s gone like it should, or we wouldn’t be here right now. It’s kind of funny if you think about everything that’s happened in the past forty-eight hours. It’s crazy that it’s only been two days, it seems like it’s been a lot longer than that. I mean, Andi and I went from being angry and avoiding one another to wrapped up in each other’s arms.