Cherishing You (20 page)

“Mom, Dad, by the way, I hope you don’t mind but I decided way before this happened that I was going to move back home. You see, I’ve been bouncing back and forth ever since I realized Ethan felt the same about me as I did him. You know, about how we were going to make things work, either go back to Texas and come home as much as I could, him move out to Texas with me, or me just move back home. I tried to determine what would be the best for both of us without any more regrets.

“Well, I realized earlier today that the biggest mistake I could make would be taking that awesome job in Texas. Yes, I was really excited to get it, and it’s a great opportunity, but it’d be pointless for me. My heart is not in Texas—it’s right here with you guys and with Ethan. I love you all, and the biggest regret would be leaving again. It wouldn’t do any good for me to be homesick every day, not to mention I’ve missed you all so much it hurts, and I can never make up the time I’ve lost not being with you both. So, no matter what happens with Ethan and me, I’m moving home. I hope you’re okay with that.”

Dad picks me up and swirls me around, giving me a big bear hug before placing me back on my feet. “Of course it’s okay with us, sweetheart. I’m so glad to hear you say that. Now, let’s get to the hospital.” The three of us race to the car, and Dad drives us to the hospital.

I’m getting so sick of this damn room.
I make like the hundredth lap around this little ‘consulting’ room. It can’t be much bigger than ten-by-ten. By the time you put the little couch, a stupid-looking chair, and a tiny end table with a lamp on it in here, it can’t really be considered much of a lap, but I’m definitely wearing a pattern into this ridiculous carpet.

It has to be the ugliest carpet I’ve ever seen. I don’t know why a hospital this big would have a room done up like this, but it’s nuts. Then again, it may be doing its job, if that includes distracting families in times like this. Being as this is a trauma center, I’m sure that’s probably its purpose—make me all pissed off at the room and not the drunk driver who put my mom here. No, not the stupid dumbass who decided it would be okay to drink then put her life—and everyone else’s, for that matter—in danger by climbing behind the wheel of a vehicle and driving on the roadway.

The police officer who was here when I arrived explained to me that she was a passenger of a vehicle being driven by a middle-aged man who was heavily intoxicated. He lost control and swerved into oncoming traffic. Fortunately, the others involved appear to have only minor injuries—a broken arm for one, another with a few broken ribs.

The driver has some minor injuries also, which will probably require some stiches. Of course, none of this compares to my mom’s injuries. All I know is she’s alive—that’s it. Oh, and she sustained heavy damage to her body and was rushed into emergency surgery. The only thing the nurse will tell me is to wait until the surgeon comes to the room to talk to me. Then they’ll be able to tell me how bad her injuries are.

I guess I should be grateful that they gave me a small room to be alone in anyway. As much as this room sucks, it’s still better than the jam-packed waiting room out there at the check-in. I’ve never had any issues with claustrophobia, but I suddenly have a new understanding for people who have that problem; when I was stuck in there with all those people, waiting for someone to tell me where my mom was or if she was even still alive, I was about to go out of my skin. It was so loud, with babies crying, an old lady crying, a toddler throwing a temper tantrum—just a few of the noises I picked out over all the madness.

Yeah, this room may not be so bad after all. Okay, maybe I should call Andi and give her an update. I hate that I’m not going to be there when she leaves tomorrow. If I could’ve been there instead of Mom going through all this, I’d do it in a heartbeat. At least with Andi leaving I know it’s not
that
far away, and worst-case scenario I jump on a plane and can see her. Who knows what we’re facing with this accident.

It doesn’t really matter though; I’ll be here for her every step of the way, and do whatever it takes to get her back on her feet again. She has to be okay; it’s only me and her left. I guess there’s some of my dad’s family alive somewhere in New York or something, but it’s not like I’d know them if they ever showed up around here. I think I had an uncle who came around a little bit when Dad was alive, but not once since his funeral.

That’s all good though; Mom and I have gotten along without them just fine all these years. As an adult, I figured that if they wanted to see me then they should’ve come around or at least called. So yeah, basically just Mom and me, so her dying just isn’t going to happen. Not yet.

Maybe I need caffeine, or maybe the damn nurse can come in and give me an update. Hell, maybe I should find the surgery floor and see how she is myself. I mean, I can be patient, but I don’t even know what kind of surgery she’s having. I just want to know what I’m facing; I need to prepare myself. I slam my body down on the couch, my legs sprawled out in front of me. Pressing my head back against the cool concrete wall behind me, I will myself to chill out a little bit.

I know I’m probably being ridiculous, but this not knowing is driving me crazy. I force myself to close my eyes and try to think back to the last time she and I had a really good talk. You know, besides “hi, bye” chit-chat.

It’s hard to believe it was only this past Thursday—it seems like weeks have gone by. I guess I’ve been kind of distracted though, the thought bringing a smile to my lips. Mom’s been gone with that dipshit boyfriend of hers since she left that morning. She made us both breakfast and just as we started to sit down and eat, she said she was leaving for a few days with dipshit and would catch up with me when she returned. We had our usual conversation for pretty much the rest of the meal. Then I got ready for work and headed out the door.

I’m so grateful I had those last few moments with her. The very last thing I said before I went out the door was “I love you, Mom,” as I gave her a quick hug. That’s going to be the first thing I tell her as soon as I get to see her again. I’m going to give her the biggest hug, and after I’m done I’m going to tell her she’s never leaving home with that bastard again.

Of course, she probably won’t appreciate me bossing her around, but she may as well get used to it. She’s the one who scared the daylights out of me.

I take a deep breath and try to make myself relax but it just isn’t working, so I get up and start pacing again.
That’s it.
I feel like I have been in here for forever;
someone has to know something by now.
I go to the door at the same time someone comes through it.

“Here you are,” the lady with ‘Tabby’ on her name badge says. “I have some family here asking for you.” She steps aside and there are Andi, Ron and Bev coming in the room. Andi immediately jumps in my arms and I hold her tight, giving her a big hug. Then I quickly remember I was going to try to get an update, so I yell out, “Wait a minute!” Without letting go of Andi, I say, “Please, can you give me some kind of information on my mom yet?”

“I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t know anything about her case. Has no one come to talk with you yet?”

“No, there hasn’t been a single person. Why, what’s wrong? Please, tell me what’s going on. Please.” I finally let go of Andi and take a couple steps toward Tabby.

She gives me a gentle smile and says, “Listen, sir, I understand times like this can be very scary, especially when you don’t know what’s going on with your family member. Please know that we’re doing everything we can for her. You see, when a patient comes to this team, it’s more than just a job to them; the staff here put their heart and souls into saving people’s lives, and they don’t give up easily. Now, you sit down and try to relax, and I will see what kind of information I can find out if I can’t get someone in here to talk with you, okay?”

“Okay, thank you, ma’am. I really appreciate everything you’re doing for her, and me.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll be right back.” She turns from us and takes off for the nursing station. I really hope she gets back to me soon; I don’t know how much more I can take. I turn around and there’s Andi standing behind me, her face a mix of emotions. I don’t say a word as I take her in my arms and hold her as tight as I can. Then I feel Ron and Bev both wrap their arms around Andi and me.

I didn’t want to bother anyone with my family problems, but I’m so glad they all came. They’re such amazing people, and they’ve been there for me many times over the years.

“Son, we didn’t want to intrude on you, but I think we all know you well enough to know you’d never ask for much of anything, let alone support for yourself while this is happening. Whatever’s going on, you shouldn’t have to bear the weight of it on your own. Besides, you’re pretty much family.”

Ron pats me on the back, and I let go of Andi to wrap him up in a bear hug.

“You’re right. You guys are my family, and I really appreciate you being here for me and Mom.”

“We wouldn’t be anywhere else,” Ron says, letting go of me and slapping me on the back.

“So, you don’t know anything at all yet?” Andi asks, grabbing my hand and holding on for dear life.

“The only thing I know is that she is alive—or at least she was when she arrived. The hospital has been pretty quiet about telling me really what’s wrong with her. There was a police officer at the nurses’ desk when I went there after coming to this floor. He heard me ask about Mom and he asked to speak with me. A nurse brought us in here, and she told me to just wait after we were done talking.

“He said Mom was the passenger in a vehicle that was being driven by a drunk driver. He lost control of their car and went into oncoming traffic, hitting another vehicle. I believe that person is her stupid on-again/off-again boyfriend. Anyway, the officer said the driver was fine, minor injuries, and the people in the other vehicle are basically okay also. Everyone except for Mom. Seems like Mom’s pretty bad from the way they acted, and I don’t even know how bad yet. She’s in some kind of emergency surgery.”

Andi wraps her arm around my waist. “Oh, Ethan, I’m so sorry this has happened. She has to be okay though; she’ll pull through this like it’s nothing. Carrie’s a strong woman. You just need to have faith.”

She is such an angel. I’m so glad she’s here with me through this, even though I told her not to worry about it. I hope this doesn’t mess up her schedule for Texas. I won’t hold her back, no matter how much I need her by my side.

“Okay, I think this is probably going to be a while, so Ron, how about we get everyone some coffee? Or would you two want something else?” Bev asks us.

“Oh, I’m fine Bev, but thank you anyway.”

“I appreciate it, Mom, but I think I’d like water instead. I don’t really drink coffee much anymore.”

“Well, that’s better for you anyway. Okay, we’ll be back shortly.” Ron puts his arm across Bev’s shoulders and they both go out to the cafeteria for drinks, closing the door behind them.

As soon as it shuts, I just want to wrap Andi in my arms, so I grab both her hands and pull her down on the small couch with me. She ends up sitting on my lap sideways, and I hold her tight against me as she wraps her arms around my neck. I take a deep breath, and my nostrils are filled with her amazing scent. I love her so much it hurts. You see, there are three women in my life I have ever loved: my mom, who may not even make it out of surgery; Bev, because how could anyone not love that woman; and Andi, who I’ve loved for many years and, up until now, had been too afraid to admit it.

Before I realize it, tears spill down my cheeks. The last thing I want is for Andi to see me cry, so I try to swipe them away before she notices.

“Ethan, it’s okay. You’ve been through a lot of bullshit, and this whole thing with your mom is scary. You’re one of the strongest people I know, but it’s okay if you let go a little. Let it all out now before she gets out of surgery, because after that she’ll need you. I’m here for you, and I’m not going anywhere either. There’s no place else I would rather be than with you, the man I cherish.”