Cherishing You (11 page)

“Andi, do you feel this same connection I do every time we touch? I can almost feel you walk into the room, like there’s this fire that sparks whenever you are near me. So tell me I’m alone in this, that I’m crazy. Tell me you don’t feel it too. Tell me you don’t want me as much as I want you. If you can tell me you don’t feel it, I’ll never touch you again. I’ll never try to kiss you again.”

I watch her eyes close and, for a second, I think I may have been reading her all wrong this whole time. Maybe I was dreaming all the desire I thought I saw in her eyes. Maybe I was just seeing what I wanted to see. My chest tightens and my breath catches. Then she reaches up and grabs the back of my head, pulling me down to her. She kisses me so hard that I want to jump up and down, screaming, “I fucking knew it!”

Of course, I don’t do that; instead, I reach around her waist and lift her off the floor. As soon as I do, she wraps her legs around my hips, and it feels amazing. I take a few steps with her wrapped around me, never breaking our kiss. I press her back against the wall and hold her up with my hips pinned against hers. My hard member is pushing against my jeans; I know she can feel it throbbing against her. Her fingers are twisted in my hair, giving little tugs here and there, and it’s so hot. I never realized pain could feel so good.

My head is spinning so fast I don’t know what to think. To be honest, the only thing I’m thinking about right now is how good it feels to have Ethan’s mouth on mine. He tastes like Heaven, and he has me so worked up that my panties are soaked. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted someone as much as I want him right now. Everything is different with Ethan, like I have no self-control when it comes to him. I’ve gone from swearing him off and trying to avoid him like the plague, to not being able to keep my hands off him whenever we’re near each other.

Of course, part of the reason is he’s an amazing kisser.
I part my lips, and he doesn’t hesitate to explore the inside of my mouth. Everywhere he touches, he leaves a trail of fire burning, and it’s making me so hot I swear I’m going to combust. I trail my hands down his neck and across his shoulders; I want to touch him everywhere. I slide them inside the top of his shirt and grip the back of his neck. I love to feel his skin; it’s so soft, yet his muscles are so tight. Hearing a noise, I realize it’s coming from me—I’m moaning just at the feel of him. I move my mouth from his lips to his neck, licking and kissing all the way. He has his hands on my ass, gripping me so tight.

Oh, my God, it feels good!

He hitches me up higher on the wall, and I hold on to his broad shoulders for support. I feel him tug at the bottom of my shirt as if asking for permission. I look up at him and can tell he’s waiting for my response. He doesn’t want to push me, letting me know he’s giving me all the control, so I decide to show him how I feel instead of talking. I lift my shirt over my head and throw it across the room. Apparently, that’s all the permission he needs, because he instantly covers my nipple with his mouth and sucks so hard it hurts. I never knew pain could hurt so much yet feel so amazing at the same time. The thrill of it sends a shock straight to my core.

I roll my head backwards and arch my back, pushing my breasts out further. Of all the years I’ve known Ethan, I never knew he was so talented with his lips and his hands. I can only imagine what it’ll feel like as he tastes my center. The thought alone practically makes me convulse; I can feel my clit throbbing already.

He releases my nipple and moves to the other, giving it the same attention. Then he trails his lips back up my chest, my neck and across my chin until he reaches my mouth, where he begins again. His beard scratching my skin only adds to my exhilaration. Between that and his rock-hard length pressing at my core, my nerve endings are screaming for release.

He lifts me from the wall, my legs still locked around his hips, and carries me over to the couch, not breaking from our kiss the whole time. I seriously think I could do this for the rest of my life; his mouth on mine has the best taste in the world.

As soon as he sets me on the couch, he lays me back and climbs on top of me. Somehow, he manages to do all this without breaking our kiss. The weight of him on my body feels so good, and it seems to heighten my senses; I don’t ever want him to stop. I run my hands along his sides and around to his back, where I trace the hard contours of his muscles. He makes me feel so safe and secure; it’s intoxicating.

He moves from my mouth, and it’s like my body has a mind of its own. My head drops back, and I press my hips tighter against his. I hear him groan as he places sweet kisses along my neck. The scrape of his beard sends my senses into overdrive, pushing me higher. His fingertips brush my hair back from my shoulder, and then I feel his lips there, setting my skin on fire with each touch. He moves his lips down to my chest and takes my right nipple into his mouth once more, rolling the left one between his thumb and finger gently. He slows his suckling on my nipple, and it feels amazing.

I decide I really want to feel his skin on mine, so I tug up his shirt and he quickly complies; reaching behind himself, he pulls it up and over his head, throwing it on the floor. He grabs both of my breasts and buries his face between them for a minute, his beard tickling me, forcing a quick giggle.

I fucking love how this man knows how to drive me crazy!

He looks up at me, those sexy eyes of his shining and a smile on his face. Both of us are breathing hard, and the realization makes me giggle again.

“What’s so funny, beautiful?”

“I just realized that you’re breathing as hard as I am. I’m glad to know you’re just as affected by this,” I say, chuckling.

“Of course I’m affected by you, silly girl. I’ve only dreamt of this, and for a long time,” Ethan says, with a quick laugh of his own.

I pull his face up to mine. “I have too. My only regret is that we waited so long to show each other.” With that, I place a soft kiss on his lips; he doesn’t hesitate to kiss me back, but gently this time. He uses the same slow and steady rhythm he did on my nipple, and I like it just as much. I want this man, but I also want to have everything out in the open before we go any further. As much as I’m amped up for him, I have to stop this or that’s not going to happen.

As if he senses my hesitation, he pulls back and gives me a questioning look for a moment before he sits back. Lifting my legs, he puts my feet on his lap.

Hmm, I don’t even remember kicking off my shoes.

“So, spill it. What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?”

I stay silent for a moment while I gather my thoughts. We obviously have mutual feelings for each other, and he’s already proven he wants me as much as I want him. Plus, it doesn’t feel like a fling to me when we touch; it’s much deeper than that.

“I don’t want to say the wrong thing, but we both need to know what the other is thinking. I want to talk to you like we would have before—of course, with a few exceptions, like you kissing me and all.”

He laughs. “Yeah, that’s a definite step in our relationship.”

“Okay, so just to make sure we’re on the same page, Kelly is nowhere in the picture, right?”

“Right. She was gone not even a month after you left me.”

“I’m sorry you felt like I left you but, in a way, I guess I can see how you’d believe that. I just couldn’t stand by and watch her in my place. In my eyes, she was a witch who was trying to ruin your life. I couldn’t make you change your mind about marrying her, and she was having your baby. I knew the best thing to do was to separate myself from the whole situation so I wouldn’t make things worse for you. I could feel the daggers she would throw me every time we were even in the hallway at the same time. She would be all fake nice to your face, but as soon as it was just the two of us she was rude and snobby. I knew she was bullshit, but then again, maybe it was because I was so damn jealous of her. It should’ve been me you had your arms wrapped around, not some phony bitch who only wanted you because she could.”

By this point, my breath is hitching because I’m talking so fast, but I can’t seem to help it. I need to let it all out, once and for all.

“She didn’t know you like I did. She didn’t know your favorite color or that you like football but hate baseball. She didn’t know how much you love banana peppers on your pizza, or how much you hate it when there are onions in your food. I did, and I’d waited too late to tell you because I was afraid you didn’t see me as anything other than your friend. I couldn’t handle losing you or making things awkward between us. If you didn’t feel the same way, I would’ve been humiliated. I couldn’t do it.

“Instead, I lost you anyway. That’s what hurt most of all—I lost you, and she had you.” I realize there are tears streaming down my face, and when I look up, there are tears in his eyes as well.

I take a deep breath and start to stand, but he puts his hands on my legs, stopping me.

“Andi, please don’t run again. Don’t leave yet, okay?”

“Okay, I just need a moment.” With that, I get up and go to the restroom. I wash my face then stand there for a few minutes in an attempt to control my emotions. I don’t know why I’m so emotional; he must think I’m a big baby. I laugh at myself. It doesn’t matter, and I know he isn’t making fun of me. I’ve meant everything I’ve said, and I needed to say it. I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

When I come out of the restroom, Ethan is still sitting on the couch right where I left him. He looks up with a big, sweet smile on his face before reaching up to grab my hand, tugging me down on his lap. I feel a flutter in my chest at the simple movement. His smile is enough to make my heart swell.

I love this man, and I hope I never have to go without him again.

I want to hold her and never let her go. I wrap my arms around her and pull her tight against me, placing a gentle kiss to the top of her head before taking a deep breath. The smell of her hair is intoxicating, but everything about her is. And I want to be drunk off her body for the rest of my life, but I have to finish the past first. We need to get it all out before we can move forward.