Checkmate (32 page)

'Who're you trying to kid? Everyone knows what your mum's like,' said Amyas.

Outside the room I was vaguely aware that others were beginning to stop and gather. But the music, the party, the whole world zoomed as far out as it could get until it was less than the size of a full stop. There was just me and Amyas and an all too familiar cocktail being mixed and stirred inside me, making it harder and harder to breathe. 'What does everyone know?' I asked.

'Oh, come off it. It's common knowledge that she was sleeping with her nought boyfriend from the time he started at the same school as her. That was what? When she was thirteen, fourteen? Why do you think I brought you up here? Everyone knows noughts are easy

I couldn't've said a word then if my life had depended on it. How could I ever have thought I fancied this . . . toad!

'Not exactly like mother like daughter, is it?' Amyas continued. There was a moment's silence before he added. 'Or maybe that's the problem. Maybe you two are more alike than I thought.'

My heart was thumping again. But not like before, not with pain or panic. This time it was leaping with something far more deadly.

'I'm not listening to any more,' I told him. I had to get out of there before I did something I'd regret. I turned to find most of the party outside the open bedroom door. And at the front of all of them stood Tobey, with Lucas just behind him. I regarded Tobey, too angry to even scowl at him. He wore the same stupid, apologetic expression he always had on his face whenever he saw me.

'Maybe if I was a blanker and a terrorist, you'd be more interested in me,' Amyas called after me.

That did it. I spun round and started back to him. But someone pushed past me to get there first. The next thing I knew, Amyas was rolling back and forth on the floor holding his nose, which was pouring with blood. Lucas was shaking his now unclenched hand and trying not to wince from the pain.

'The carpet!' Bliss rushed into the room as well. 'Amyas, don't bleed on the carpet. Mum'll kill me!'

Amyas tried to sit up.

'You'll stay down there if you know what's good for you,' Lucas warned him.

Amyas collapsed back down, still cupping his bleeding nose.

Bliss yelled at me, 'What the hell d'you think you're doing? You're
ruining
my party.'

'Don't worry. I'm leaving,' I told her.

I grabbed my jacket off the bed and headed out of the door. The crowd of people just outside parted to let me through without me having to say a word. After directing a final, icy stare at Tobey, I headed downstairs and out of the front door. And I was proud of myself. My eyes were dry. A year ago, it would've been a different story.

'Callie, wait!'

Someone was calling me. I turned to see Lucas running up behind me.

'What're you doing here?' I asked.

'It's late. I'll take you home.'

'You don't have to do that.'

'I want to.'

'Bliss won't like it,' I said dryly.

'Bliss doesn't own me. She'll just have to put up with it,' said Lucas, shrugging on his jacket.

We carried on walking.

'You didn't have to do that, you know,' I told him sourly. 'I can fight my own battles.'

'I know,' Lucas agreed. 'But I probably did him less damage than you would've.'

'Too right. I was going to thump him but I wasn't going to aim for his face.'

'Ouch! Then I did Amyas a favour,' Lucas grinned.

I looked at him then, really looked at him, and couldn't help but remember the boy standing in my hallway, questioning his mum about the things his dad had said.

'Why did you do it?'

'Well, he had it coming,' said Lucas as if it were obvious.

Not quite what I meant, but never mind.

'Want to go and get a coffee before you go home?' asked Lucas.

I looked at him. 'What about your mum and dad?'

'They're not coming,' Lucas frowned.

'No, I meant, won't they mind if you're out with me?'

'I couldn't care less if they do,' Lucas shot back at me. 'You know, I wondered if you still remembered what I said as a child when Ella came round to your house?'

'It's kind of hard to forget,' I admitted.

'Callie, I didn't know any better then. But I do now. My dad's views aren't mine.'

'Fair enough.'

'I mean it. I like you
–
very much.'

Did he really like me? Or was he lying? Everyone lies. What was he up to? What was he after?

'So how about that coffee?' asked Lucas.

Well, he might try to use me, but he couldn't. I wouldn't let him. Not if I knew what he was doing. Not if I used him first.

So I said, 'Yeah, all right then,' adding with a grin, 'But only if you're paying.'

I walked out into Mother's garden, breathing in the sweet mixture of fresh-cut grass and lavender on the borders of the path. I spotted Mother straight away, in the rose garden. Early October and she still had roses in bloom. I walked over to her, enjoying the peace of her garden.

'Mother, how're you feeling today?'

'I've been better, I've been worse,' she smiled.

Which meant nothing at all. She dug into the soil beneath a rose bush, where the fading, wilting roses were past their best, to remove a particularly stubborn weed.

'D'you want some help?' I asked.

'No, thanks. I've got it. No Callie Rose today?'

'She . . . she had homework to finish,' I replied.

I looked down at Mother's back, as she dug and pulled and dug some more.

'When did you take up gardening?' I asked. 'I thought you hated to get your hands dirty.'

'Everyone should get their hands dirty once in a while.' Mother shrugged. 'Besides I like planting things and watching them grow. It makes me feel like I'm part of something.'

She was already part of something. She was an essential part of my life. I didn't know where I'd be now if it wasn't for her. It didn't bear thinking about.

'What did the doctors say about . . . about your cancer? Do you need more radiotherapy?'

'Just one more session. It seems my cancer is in complete remission, thank goodness. I was told yesterday,' said Mother, her tone matter-of-fact.

One more pull at the weed and it finally gave up and came out of the ground.

'Stubborn bugger!' Mother told it with uncharacteristic vulgarity.

I bit back a smile. After what my mother had been through in the last few months, she was entitled. But as I watched her, my smile faded.

'Mother, is . . . is anything wrong?'

'No, love. Why?'

'You've just been given the all clear, but you don't seem terribly happy about it.'

'Don't be silly.' Mother struggled to stand up. I placed a hand under her arm and helped her to her feet. 'Of course, I'm thrilled. I feel like my head was in a noose and now I've— Oh my God! I'm so sorry, Sephy.'

The feeling of being kicked in the stomach by Mother's words had obviously shown on my face.

'It's OK,' I breathed, turning away slightly so Mother couldn't see my eyes.

'Persephone, I'm so sorry. I didn't think.'

'Don't worry about it, Mother.' I tried for a shrug but failed halfway.

Then, turning back to her, I caught the whiff of something I hadn't smelled on Mother in a long, long time. I stared at her, shocked.

'Mother, have you been drinking?'

'Don't be silly, dear.' Mother immediately backed away from me.

'Mother, don't lie to me.'

Silence. My stare turned into a glare.

'OK, I had one.' At the appalled look on my face, Mother added, 'One celebratory glass of wine doesn't mean I've fallen off the wagon.'

I regarded her, my heart too bruised to speak.

'Don't look at me like that, Sephy. It was just one glass,' Mother said, exasperated. 'Doctor Rider phoned me to let me know the good news and I wanted to commemorate the occasion.'

'You said she told you yesterday. I can still smell wine on you. How big was this one glass?'

'Now, Sephy, you're over-reacting. I had a glass when she told me and I had another just before you arrived. That's all.'

'You should've commemorated the occasion with a glass of orange juice or fizzy water,' I told her harshly.

'Sephy, you worry too much,' Mother dismissed.

'Mother, don't start up again, please,' I begged. 'You were doing so well. After all this time, why start drinking again?'

'I had one glass today . . .' Mother said, impatiently. 'I don't intend to have any more.'

'Mother, please don't. I couldn't bear it,' I implored, close to tears.

'You
couldn't bear it? For heaven's sake. This isn't about you,' Mother snapped. 'I've been sleepwalking through the last few months, too terrified to wake up. I just needed something to . . . to . . .'

'To smooth out the rough edges? Where've I heard that before?' I almost shouted. 'You've got Minerva and her family and me and Callie Rose and all your friends to smooth out any rough edges. You said you weren't going to drink any more. You were so
sure.
So strong. You keep all that wine down in your cellar but never even lapsed once. So why
now?

'It was just one drink,' said Mother. 'Just one . . .'

Embarrassed, awkward tears slid unexpectedly down her cheeks. As soon as she wiped them away, more took their place. I couldn't bear to see my mother cry and I couldn't stay angry in the face of her tears. I opened my arms and hugged her, realizing that it was the first time I'd ever done so. When I was a child Mother used to hug me. But then she started drinking and I started to grow up and the hugs stopped. Except from Callum on our beach. Except from Callum.

'Mother, why did you do it?' I whispered. 'All those years of hard work, all those Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and women's support groups and now you'll have to start again from scratch.'

I wasn't even sure that I expected an answer. But I got one.

'Sephy, I was so frightened . . .' Mother sobbed. 'I still am. I've never felt so alone. Suppose . . . suppose the cancer comes back.'

'Then you'll fight it again. And I'll be right by your side and so will Minerva.'

'You will?'

'Of course we will. You're not alone, Mother. Didn't you know that?'

Sammi plonked herself down next to me. Her tie was pulled down and the top two buttons of her shirt were undone, as were mine. That's how we wore our uniform, boys and girls alike, even though the teachers were always ranting at us to do up our shirt buttons and wear our ties properly. Sammi pulled her beaded hair back into a pony-tail and secured it with a rubber band.

'You shouldn't do that, you know. The rubber band will make your hair break,' I told her.

Sammi shrugged. 'This classroom is too hot. How're you doing, Callie? I hardly ever see you these days.'

'I've just had a lot on my plate recently.'

'We are still friends, aren't we?' asked Sammi.

'Yeah, of course,' I frowned. What a peculiar question.

'And friends share things?'

I nodded. Where was all this coming from?

'Then how come you didn't tell me that you and Amyas were an item?'

I stared at her. 'We're nothing of the kind.'

'Come off it. It's all over the school how the two of you were an item but you broke up at Bliss's party because he caught you doing it with Lucas.'

My jaw hit the floor. 'He caught me
what?'

'I do think you could've told me what you were up to. I mean, I am your best friend,' sniffed Sammi.

'Sammi, I haven't been bonking Amyas, Lucas or anyone else. And Amyas was never my boyfriend. Well, maybe for about a minute, but that's it. He tried it on at the party and Lucas took him out,' I explained furiously.

'Really?'

'Really,' I insisted. 'And thanks so much for believing all that junk about me without even asking first.'

'I did come and ask you,' said Sammi.

'No, you wanted to know why I hadn't told you any of it. There's a big difference.'

Sammi had the grace to look ashamed of herself. 'Sorry, Callie. I didn't think.'

'I'm not putting up with this. Who's been spreading all those lies about me?' I said, leaping up.

'Shush!' Sammi had a quick look around the rapidly filling classroom. We were beginning to attract attention.

'Samantha, who's been—?'

'I heard you,' said Sammi, pulling me down onto my seat again. 'Listen. They may be lies but Amyas is the one spreading them. That's why I thought it was true.'

'Amyas! I should've kneed him in the goolies when I had the chance,' I fumed. 'And to think I used to fancy him!'

'Well, don't do anything stupid, will you?' Sammi looked worried. 'If you attack his tenders, Mrs Paxton will throw you of out the school.'

'It'd almost be worth it,' I argued.

'Callie . . .'

'OK! OK! But he's not getting away with it,' I said.

'Well, you can't go round telling everyone it's not true because then they'll believe it is,' Sammi pointed out. 'And if you confront Amyas, he'll just tell everyone that you're angry because you were busted.'

I glared at Sammi, because every word she'd said was true. That's exactly what would happen.

'So what do I do?'

'Just ignore it?' Sammi suggested.

'Can't do that.'

'Didn't think so. Promise me you won't do anything stupid,' said Sammi.

I shook my head. 'I can't do that either.'

Sammi sighed. 'Didn't think so.'

'Amyas is using me to salve his battered nose and his bruised ego,' I seethed. 'He's just like everyone else
–
a liar and a user.'

'That's not true,' Sammi protested.

'Of course it is,' I scoffed. 'No one does anything for anyone unless there's something in it for them first.'

'Callie! Don't be so cynical. Tell her, Tobey!' said Sammi.

I turned my head to see Tobey sitting behind me, his history books out for the next lesson. I hadn't even noticed him come into the class. Too busy ranting at Sammi, I guess. How much of our conversation had he heard? Not that I cared if he'd heard the whole lot.

'Go on then, Tobey. Tell me I'm wrong,' I challenged.

'You are wrong,' Tobey said quietly. 'Once you start believing that no one does anything kind or good unless there's a selfish ulterior motive, then what's the point of even getting out of bed in the morning? What's the point of anything?'

'My point exactly,' I told him.

I turned to face the front as the teacher came in. I wasn't wrong about people. They were all the same. Hadn't I seen the proof of that for myself?