Chasing Butterflies (16 page)

Shell’s words to
Lenny had been said loud enough to hear. As Lenny ignored her, I didn’t.

“Back off, Shell. Leave her alone. She didn’t do anything. It was me.”

Lenny turned around and gave me a look filled with so much relief, I wanted to recoil. The guy she was dating must have meant a lot to her. And fuck, as much as I wanted to, I wouldn’t be the cause of them breaking up. So I had to distract Shell.

After Lenny disappeared into the crowd, I closed the distance between Shell and me where she stood with accusatory eyes.

“I kissed her. You were right. She’s not into me anymore.”

“I warned you,” she said smugly.

I pulled her close to me, enough she felt the hardness in my pants that had nothing to do with her and everything to do with Lenny. But if Shell thought otherwise, maybe she’d keep her jealous mouth shut.

“You did, and you look good tonight,” I whispered in her ear.

And she did. Shell was a stunner, which was why I’d asked her out in the first place. But she wasn’t Len. Still, I would take one for the girl who had stolen my heart. I would play a game for a short time at least to secure that Shelly wouldn’t ruin Len’s relationship.

Shelly wasn’t a pushover, which had also attracted me to her. “You think I’m just going to go home with you tonight?” She shook her head. “I’m not that girl. Your dick can find comfort in your hand tonight. And maybe I’ll consider giving you a second chance.”

She sauntered away with an extra bounce in her step that should have had me drooling. Instead, I found it a blessing she was so easily appeased and left without me asking her to. I wasn’t sure how far I could take the ruse. But her smirk meant that she believed I was hard for her, and she hadn’t mentioned Lenny again. So hopefully, that’d worked.

I melted into the crowd and found my roommates where I left them. Instead, now Sawyer was wrapped around a girl, whispering something in her ear that made her giggle. Ashton stood watching as he always did in the short time I’d known him. He didn’t say much unless he thought he was alone with Sawyer. They’d grown up together and had been best friends forever. There was more of a story there. I just hadn’t figured it out yet. I did know they hardly did anything without the other, including girls.

When I turned back to Chance, he stood brooding, glaring off into the crowd. I followed his line of sight to where Lenny stood with a cup to her lips and a smile on her face. My jaw clenched, and I was about to say something until I realized he was staring at the girl next to Lenny.

“Who is she?” I asked quietly.

His eyes left the girl in question and found me. “An ex.”

So he and I had more in common. His wistful crossed with annoyed expression reminded me of me.

“Is that a good or a bad thing?”

He shrugged. “She’s better off.”

I understood that statement all too well.

“Then it’s better not to watch.”

I turned away myself, having spent the entire conversation with my eyes glued on a girl I could never have. Lenny seemed happier without me near, yet I felt like dog shit without her.

The bonfire raged, and I found a spot near it. Long ago, huge logs had been heaved around it like planks to perch on. So I found an empty spot and sat, trying my best to not search for Lenny in the crowd. Eventually Chance came around and sat next to me. His eyes looked a little glazed, and I realized he’d reached his happy limit.

“Why is it I never see you drinking?” he asked.

Oh, I’d taken a sip or two of beer here and there, especially at parties. But I’d always ended up nursing what amounted to one drink the entire night. It seemed Chance was more astute than I’d taken him for.

“Not much of a drinker. Besides, coach said anyone caught with a hangover tomorrow wouldn’t play. No exceptions.”

“Yeah, well, I guess we should get ghost then. It’s not like anything’s going on here.”

Several girls had approached him, and he’d quietly sent each one away. If I hadn’t been in my own private hell, I might have tried to puzzle out what was going on with him and the blonde.

In silent agreement, we got up and strode over to our last vacated spot. I planned to give Ashton and Sawyer a heads-up about our plans.

Sawyer was grinning like a loon, handy with the girl wrapped around him. She didn’t seem to mind, while Ashton frowned at Sawyer.

“Don’t mind him,” he said to the girl. “He’s the silent type. He likes to watch, but he’ll get in on the action if you let him.” Just as I was about to cut in with a peace out, he added, “Have you ever had two guys at the same time? You’ll love it.”

“Ah, we’re out,” I said quickly and strode away as Sawyer grinned at Ashton, who appeared to sigh in resignation.

I wanted to get home before they did. I was grateful my room was across from Chance’s and next to Ashton’s. The noises that emanated from Sawyer’s room when I found myself in the hall would keep me up at night.

On autopilot, I’d navigated toward Lenny. Maybe subconsciously I wanted to check on her before I left. Whatever it was, she swayed on her feet with wide eyes and a wide smile.

“Come on, just one more,” she said to Chance’s ex, who held a cup out of reach.

“Lenora, you’ve had enough.”

Lenny made a go for the cup and stumbled. Automatically, I reached out and snagged her before she face planted.

“Kelley, Kelley, Kelley,” she said.

Her friend glanced between us. “You’re Kelley?” she asked, like she’d heard all about me. I nodded. Her lips formed an O.

“Look, I’ll take her home. My truck is just over there.”

“You can’t take me home,” Lenny protested, but her eyes went unfocused, and she slumped in my arms.

Repositioning my hold on her, I lifted her up, cradling her like a baby.

“I would take her,” the girl said. “But I’m too drunk to drive my car.”

Chance cut in. “I’ll drive you home, Brie.”

Brie’s eyes narrowed, but she wasn’t stupid. She nodded. I quietly asked, “You sure you’re up to driving?”

He nodded. “I only had one drink.”

“She lives in the Montague apartments just past the park,” Brie said.

The campus was located in the middle of nowhere, boarding a small town. There wasn’t much of anything, including apartments. I knew which ones she was talking about.

With a head nod, I carried Lenny to where I was parked. Brie and Chance were headed in the same direction and helped me get Lenny into the cab of my truck.

“How are you going to get home when you leave her car?” I asked Chance. Just because we were near a small town didn’t mean the campus wasn’t as big as one on its own.

He shrugged. “I’ll find a way.”

“Why don’t I pick you up after I drop her off?”

Brie said, “I’m in the Sadie Hawkins dorms,” which were the same ones Shell lived in.

I nodded. “I’ll text you when I’m close.”

Chance nodded, and I got in as Lenny quietly breathed in her sleep. The rumble of my engine didn’t stir her. I wondered if she lived with someone. Her boyfriend? But I didn’t let that stop me. If she did, it was his fault for not being there to keep her safe.

I drove the speed limit the entire way. I wanted more than the couple of minutes it would take to get her home. I wanted the impossible—
her
.

Parking in front of the small complex, I had no idea what apartment number was hers. I touched her arm, and her skin was soft and warm under my hand. Sliding my hand down her arm, I slowed at her wrist, which was covered in rubber band bracelets. Her eyes jolted awake, and she pulled her hand way, protecting it like I’d hurt her.

“Sorry.”

Large eyes filled with fear took a few moments before they cleared and blinked until anger replaced the expression.

She turned and saw where she was. “You shouldn’t be here.”

Scrambling, she fumbled with the door handle before I could help her and nearly tumbled out of the car, trying to get away from me.

“Lenny, please—”

She shook her head. “Thanks for the ride. But you need to leave.”

The door shut on anything I could have said before she disappeared across the street and down the path. She pulled a key from her pocket and darted inside. I sat like a creeper and waited until a light turned on in the second floor. A few seconds later, it went out before another popped on for a short second before it too went dark. And then nothing. With no reason to stay, I fired the engine back to life and made my way back to the other side of campus to pick up Chance.

The warm sunny
day should have been a bright spot to my morning. But the meaty hand on my hip wasn’t Kelley’s, and it created a wave of revulsion in my gut. Slowly, I rolled away from his hold, wondering why he was home. Had he lied about being out of town to test me? If so, I’d failed.

My day began with chores that couldn’t be avoided as much as I wanted to flee the confines of a prison of my own making. Eventually, I made it to the park across the street. Feeding the ducks, I sat in the sun, trying to remember what happiness felt like.

But I wasn’t off the hook. By Monday I scurried into class with the evidence of my attempt at independence shinning on my face. No amount of makeup would cover it, so I did what I could and entered class at the very last minute, sitting in the back with my head down.

For each of my other classes, I did the same with good results. Nobody noticed. By lunch, I wished I could go home, but that wasn’t in the cards. I headed to the café to use my lower than basic meal plan, which allowed for me to eat one meal a day on campus.

I was halfway down the hall when he stopped me.

“Lenny.”

The cadence of his voice was filled with a plea. I stopped and did a slow turn. Somehow he’d caught up to me by the time I did.

His eyes widened and his hand reached out to brush light fingertips over the yellow, greenish bruise on the right side of my face as he peeled my sunglasses off.

“What happened?” he growled, as if he planned to defend my honor. Little did he know how far I’d fallen, and no amount of rope could pull me out of the hole I’d dug for myself.

I didn’t know how much of a liar I’d become until one popped out of my mouth without thought.

“Nothing but drunk face planted. My fault, I knew better.”

Wasn’t that the lesson I’d been taught yesterday?

“You shouldn’t drink so much.”

I understood his words. Hadn’t I seen the evidence of his father’s drinking? But I’d been chastised enough. And I didn’t have to take it from him too.

“Why do you care? You never came back.”

“Lenny,” he called out as I turned, fleeing my past and into my present nightmare.

Brie found me in the lunch line. When she touched my arm, I’d flinched and whipped my head around, thinking Kelley had followed me. But he hadn’t. And I shouldn’t have been disappointed. It was better that way for both of us.

“What’s up, chica?”

I shook my head, glad for the dim lighting in the buffet area. It hid the uglier side of certain mystery meats and worked in my favor since I’d left Kelley holding my sunglasses. She hadn’t noticed my face yet. I moved to the checkout line and breezed through. We stood searching for a place to sit in the crowded seating area when arms circled around me.

Brie glanced up and her lips barely curled. She had no love for my boyfriend, and I understood why. She’d figured out what a control freak he was.

“Prescott,” she muttered.

“Brie,” he said, matching her tone.

“Looks like we’re late today. I see two seats. Why don’t you let Lenora sit with me, so we can have girl talk?”

His reply made him sound suspicious. “Why? Has she told you she doesn’t want to sit with me?”

I felt him go rigid behind me. Pleading without words, I stared at Brie, willing her not to say anything that could make this worse.

“Of course not,” Brie said. Her smile warmed, while not reaching her eyes. “It’s not that. It’s just I hardly see her. I wanted to hang out a little bit, unless I can convince her to go to dinner with me tonight.”

I said nothing. Some lessons had taken time for me to learn, but they were now ingrained in my brain.

A cool hand snagged my left hand and held it out in front of Brie. Shock registered on her face and it was too late. His other arm snaked over my right one before he gripped my wrist in what appeared to be a loving gesture. Pain brought tears to my eyes, but I couldn’t let them fall.

“Lenora has obligations as my future wife. If she goes to dinner with you, what am I to eat? We’re building something. And maybe you don’t understand that. The future of our family depends on each of us fulfilling our role.”

For anyone listening who didn’t know our dynamics, it might sound reasonable, even romantic especially the way he held me and the plastic smile on my face. But Brie was no dummy. I continued to silently beg her with wide eyes to let it go.

“Well,” she began after letting out a deep breath. “Putting it that way, I guess I understand.”

I closed my eyes in relief as she said her goodbye, and I was grateful that I remembered to put the ring back on before coming into the lunchroom. I didn’t wear it unless absolutely necessary.

But Brie didn’t give up that easily. A week or so later she sent me a text shortly after my last class, perfect timing on her part. I met her on the quad where she was setting up tables with some other people.

“What’s up?” I asked when I reached her.

“We’re shorthanded. I’m hoping you’ll help us out.” She waved a hand like it was a magic wand over all the boxes stacked. “The guys need to get more supplies and my other cohort hasn’t showed up.”

She launched into what she needed to do. When she was finished, I was already prepared with my excuse.

“I really have to get to the library,” I said. If he came to check on me and I wasn’t there, I’d have hell to pay.

“Is he hurting you?”

“Who?” I asked, even though she was talking about the same he I’d been thinking of.

“Prescott.”

Her eyes were soft, and I wanted to tell her the truth. But she wouldn’t understand. I would have to confess it all for her to know. And I’d kept my secrets for more than two years by staying on the fringes. I’d gone to class and home with little to no social activity. I’d kept people at a distance so they wouldn’t ask questions about things I didn’t want to answer. Despite all that, Brie had never given up on me. She kept trying to break down my walls and be a friend to me. What would she think of me if she knew the truth? And could I trust her?

“No, of course not.” The lie came out as smooth as satin.

She rolled her eyes. “Anyway, if you’re not busy, then help me, please.”

When she started to bend on one knee, I laughed and hauled her back to her feet.

“Okay, okay, I’ll help. But I don’t have a lot of time.”