CHASE - Volume Three (The CHASE Series Book 3) (2 page)

Maybe going without Chase wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Maybe Travis was the person I should be with. Maybe he would be the one to mend my hurting heart.

Chapter Two

Chase

A week
had passed and nothing had become easier. I had bags under my eyes, I barely got any sleep, and I couldn’t remember the last time I had a real meal. I didn’t know how one person could have this much of an effect on me. I was beginning to think it was because of how we left things. She saw me there with Jasmine, thinking I was with her, that I was
with
her, but I wasn’t, not even close.

I had tried to contact Alexis multiple times, each time hoping that something would change, that she would reply and listen to what I had to say, but each time I was disappointed a little more than the last. I didn’t even get a “fuck off” or “I hate you.” I also definitely didn’t get a “let’s talk.” I got silence, which was the worst reply you could give. I had begun to lose hope that I’d ever get a response from her, that she’d continually ignore me until the day when I’d be just a forgotten afterthought she didn’t even remember anymore. Was that possible? Is it possible to forget somebody who once seemed important to you?

Even though I wasn’t myself, I still had to put on appearances, and I still had a job to go to. It wasn’t worth it to use vacation time on this, even if I did have a lot saved up. I’d be better sitting at my desk, doing a little work, getting out of the house and using piles of paperwork and demo tapes to listen to as ways to keep my mind off of Alexis. At the very least, it would make the time go by faster, which was something I desperately needed.

I sat in my office, staring at my computer, the desktop with my black company logo background imprinting into my mind, the files sitting in front of me on my desk unable to hold even the slightest bit of my attention.

I picked up my phone, why I didn’t know, and checked it, seeing five texts from friends and colleagues, but nothing from the one person I cared about hearing from. I opened up my messages, navigated to the ongoing message thread I had with Alexis, and scrolled up, going back to the times when we actually talked to one another. Everything was so cute, so perfect, and I wanted it back. I smiled, my first in days, seeing her old words about how she couldn’t wait to see me and that I made her smile.

Against my better judgment, maybe because of the messages I was reading that put me in a happy haze, I texted her. It was nothing intense, nothing regrettable, and even though I was hopeful, I had a gut feeling she wouldn’t reply. Why would she? She’d been missing in action for a long time. One random “hey, hope you’re doing well” text wasn’t going to make her jump into my arms and gallivant off into the sunset with me. I just knew it.

Not too long after I sent it, there was a knock at my office door. I looked up, seeing Brian standing there in the doorway, peeping his head over as if he were trying to see if I was busy.

“Come in, Brian,” I said, as I locked my phone and set it on my desk.

“I just wanted to talk to you about something. Is it okay if I sit down?” he asked.

“Of course. What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Well, sir, I’m a little worried about you. I’ve seen you over the past week or so, and you’re obviously not doing well. I’m not sure if you’re sick, or if it’s a woman or family troubles, but quite frankly, I’m worried about you. A lot of us are. Others in the office have asked me if you’re doing okay. I always try to say yes, but I feel like I’m lying to them,” Brian said.

“I’m not mad at you for asking, so I hope you don’t think I am, or that I’m annoyed. I’m not sick, and I don’t have any family problems, at least none that I know of,” I said.

“So, is it a woman? I didn’t know you were dating anybody. I didn’t think Matthew Chase dated,” Brian said.

“Well, Brian, things change. I
was
dating someone, but so far it hasn’t really worked out in my favor. I’m fine, though. I don’t want anybody to worry about me. I’ve never needed anybody to worry about me. I’m fine,” I said.

“You sure don’t seem fine, and that’s coming from somebody who sees you all of the time. I know you almost better than you know yourself, and I know you’re lost and hurting deep down. I know you’re going home at night, sitting there by yourself, and not having much human contact besides the necessary amount you need for your job,” Brian said.

“You seem to have me pegged, Brian. Yeah, I haven’t had as much contact lately, but it’s my choice,” I said.

“Is it? Or is it the choice of the woman who’s making you feel this way? I think she’s the one breaking you off from everyone else. I think you need to talk to her about it,” Brian said.

“I’ve tried, Brian. She won’t return my messages. I’ll get over it. I always do,” I said.

“Well, that leads me to my next point. I’ve known you for years, and if there’s one thing I know Matthew Chase likes, it’s women. Lots of women. Lots of
hot
women. I’m going out to some clubs with some friends this weekend. There are three of them, and they’re really chill and great guys. I want you to come with,” Brian said.

“I don’t know about that. I don’t go to clubs, and I don’t think I’m quite in the right frame of mind to go out and talk to women,” I said.

“Just come. You don’t have to stay all night. Just give it a couple hours, and if you don’t want to talk to any women, you don’t have to. Just know that I can’t swat them away. I know how much these Los Angeles women love you,” Brian said, laughing.

“I’m not sure,” I said, crossing my legs.

“Just come. Trust me,” Brian said.

“Fine,” I said, after thinking about for a few seconds. “I’ll come, but don’t expect me to stay too long.”

“Good. I’m holding you to this, you know. You need to get out, and I’m going to make sure you get into the real world,” Brian said.

Brian walked out of the room, and I almost felt like he’d gotten what he wanted, and I usually didn’t like to do that, with anyone. I was a man of control, one who spread fear into the hearts of both my friends and foes, and now I felt as if I were turning into a yes man, with Brian and Nigella both getting what they wanted out of me. I guessed it could even be argued that Jasmine got what she wanted as well, which was ruining my life. Her cackling when Alexis came over proved that.

Truthfully, I really didn’t want to go out to this club. I wasn’t a club guy, even if there were hordes of scantily dressed women, all liquored up, all of them looking for a guy to go home with. That wasn’t me anymore, though. The whole getting women to come home with me thing. There was only one woman I wanted to come home with and to, and at this point, she had no intention of doing the same with me, no matter how many times I tried or asked.

I turned off my computer screen, rubbed my eyes, and turned around in my chair, looking out my window. It was raining, sprinkling, really, a thing that didn’t happen all too often out in these parts. The skies were dark, the hot California sun completely blacked out, the scene almost echoing my attitude and feeling.

I stood up, walked to the window, and looked all around, watching the cars below like ants walking around their hill.

This night better not turn out to be from hell.

Chapter Three

Alexis

A few days had
passed and I had been talking to Travis on and off. Things were going well between us, a little too well, actually, and it made me fairly scared. I liked him. He was nice, smart, a gentleman, and didn’t expect so much out of me. I knew I could tell him things about me without him getting critical or judgmental, and that was something that meant the world to me. In this world, this day and age, and most importantly, this city, that was a hard thing to find. Most people did what benefited them, and not what benefited the other person, or meant anything to them.

We hadn’t met back up yet, with school and work getting in the way, but we were planning on it again soon. He wouldn’t tell me what we’d do, but I almost hoped it was just going back to the beach and eating fish tacos. I knew going on the same date twice in a row could seem just a little mundane, but why mess with perfection? We had such an enjoyable time together, and it didn’t make sense to go do something we might not enjoy as much. Besides, I really wanted those tacos again. Maybe that was why I wanted to go back there so much. Not for the beach talk, but for food. Makes sense.

As I sat at work, the information counter not exactly all bouncing and busy, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I took it out, not bothering to sneak it like I normally would so that I wouldn’t get yelled at, and saw that Travis had texted me. I smiled, opened up the text, and smiled even bigger.

“Hey, you. Just thinking about you and hoping you’re doing okay. I know we haven’t made plans, but can’t wait to see you again!”

I knew I was blushing, biting my lower lip, before I looked up and saw a guy walking by the desk, looking at me with a confused face. I quit biting my lip and looked back down, realizing that I probably looked like a complete idiot. Sometimes when a girl likes a guy she can look like a complete and utter idiot. That’s just the sad fact of things.

“I’m happy you texted me. I’m doing well, how about you? Can’t wait to see you either! Hopefully the second date is as fun as the last,” I replied, adding a little smiley face to the end of my message.

I went back to my messages, seeing all of the texts from people back home, a girl in my psychology class, my mom, Travis, and lastly, Chase. I hadn’t deleted all of his texts. A part of me wasn’t able to, for whatever reason. Could I not let go of him? Did I want to reread the messages randomly to make myself feel better if I were feeling down or depressed? Were those the reasons, or was it because, deep down, I didn’t want to delete the messages, thus deleting him?

He had texted me recently, just saying hey and that he hoped I was doing well. I didn’t reply, and I felt bad about it. I could just be civil and message him back, but I knew he would reply and we’d get into a whole big thing. He’d want to talk, I would be unsure, and who knew where it would go from there. I wasn’t ready for all of that. I wasn’t ready to fight, and no matter what, I knew an argument was going to ensue. It was only natural after what I saw and what happened between us. He might feel differently, and he might not fight, but I’d definitely yell, and that was bad enough.

But even with all of that, even with the not talking and the awkwardness, there was a part of me that did read his texts and sort of wonder if he was telling the truth. He always stuck to his story, even the details, and why would someone who just wanted to get laid try this hard with a woman he wasn’t even technically with? If he just wanted pussy he’d get it and not worry about me. This would be one major lie to keep up with, especially after the time that had passed and my lack of messages and even the slightest bit of attention or notice.

Still, though, how could he really explain the reason for that woman to be in his house half naked, him without a shirt, and especially his face when I came in and saw that they were together? That was what I was having a problem with, and even though the only way to get to the bottom of it was to talk to him and let him explain his side of the story, I wasn’t ready, and I wasn’t sure I’d be ready anytime soon.

Maybe I’d be ready soon, and maybe I could talk to him without feeling like I’d implode with anger and stress, but until then, I’d just go out with Travis, focus on my schoolwork, and unfortunately, sit here at this desk and wait to tell someone where the registration office was, because that seemed to be the only question anybody ever had for me when I was here. They really just needed to post a sign when you walked in, but that might make me lose my job. I wasn’t needed for anything else, as the past hundred shifts had shown.

My phone buzzed and I picked it back up, seeing Travis replying. I opened it up, smiling as always, happy to hear from someone who made me forget all of my problems and just treated me the way I needed and wanted to be treated.

“We’ll go out soon, I promise. I’ve had a group project in my civics class and let me tell you, it sucks. One of the guys never even shows up, and the others have been leaving it to me to get done, so I’m pretty busy. Plus, with work, it’s all a little too much,” he said.

“I fully understand. I’m sitting at work now and just want to jump off of a bridge. They never have me doing anything even remotely important or interesting. I just sit here and direct people to the same old place every single time,” I said.

“You think that’s bad? I have to clean toilets and pick up people’s garbage. It’s horrible!” he replied.

“That sounds so disgusting, especially with how cute you are. Cute guys shouldn’t be scrubbing toilets! Where do you work?” I asked.

“My uncle owns a motel, so I work there just doing cleaning and maintenance and everything. It pays well, is stable because my uncle owns it and would feel too bad firing me, and they work around my school hours, which is good when I have projects and papers due,” he said.

“That’s really cool. I wish I had a job that would allow me some freedom and actually get me doing something. I used to think that I wanted a job where I could sit around and just collect a paycheck, but now I really want a job that will get me active and keep my mind busy,” I said.

“Then get a new job! I know you could get any job you wanted, and you’d be a great asset to any company. Seriously, you’re a great girl, both personally and professionally. I know you could do it,” he said.

“Why are you so cool and good and nice to me?” I asked.

“Because you’re special, Alexis. You’re the type of girl you bring home to mom, and I want to encourage and support you any way I can!”

I smiled, unable to contain my excitement and happiness, my cheeks feeling warm as they hurt so much from just smiling. Travis was a really great guy, and he obviously cared about making me happy, and I couldn’t help but love that. It was like when he talked to me I was the only girl who mattered, at least to him. That was something I wasn’t used to, and I didn’t think I had ever smiled this much from some simple text messages. That was a feeling I didn’t want to suppress or forget about.

“Thank you, Travis. I should probably get back to work before I get in trouble. They don’t like me sitting on my phone, even if I have nothing else to do. I’ll text you later,” I replied, adding a flirty smiley face to the end of my message.

I hit send, locked my phone, and shoved it down into my purse hidden under the desk so that I wouldn’t be tempted to take it out of my pocket if it buzzed. I definitely wanted to talk to Travis, but it wasn’t worth losing my low-paying job or getting a strike against me. My manager was too much of a dick.

I watched as students and faculty strolled by my desk, not even paying attention to me, some of them running while others walked casually, as if they had all of the time in the world. Friends met up, couples hugged and kissed, and there was a certain air of happiness in the large student center, but I didn’t know if it was really there, or if it was because of the way things in my own life were going, with Travis being all cute and flirty.

“Could Chase please come to the registration counter?” a voice over the speakers said.

I froze, looking around, the vein in my neck throbbing as my face felt red and hot.

“Once again, could Chase Herman please come to the registration counter? Thank you.”

It wasn’t him, it wasn’t
my
Chase, just some guy with the same name. With my heart still beating hard, I took a deep breath, and realized that my reaction wasn’t exactly normal. Why was I so nervous? I wouldn’t quite say I was scared, or mad, or upset after hearing that, but I almost had the reaction you get when you see someone in a store or restaurant who you’re nervous to see or talk to.

As the minutes wore on and my shift started to get closer and closer to being over, I couldn’t help but fill my mind with conflicting, back and forth thoughts, as I had nothing else to keep myself occupied. The work wasn’t exactly grueling.

Maybe I needed to talk to Chase, as crazy and scary as that sounded. Maybe I needed to get something, even just closure, so that I wouldn’t have reactions like that when I was out in actual public, or worse yet, with Travis. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to actually meet up with Chase, but I guessed texting or even talking on RandomMeetX wasn’t exactly a horrible idea. I knew he wanted to, and would talk to me if I initiated something. He had tried to contact me so many times since I last saw him, and I knew he would reply to a random hello text within the hour, and that was from a man who was seriously busy with work. But should I do it?

I was so conflicted, but yet, I kept leaning more and more towards pulling the trigger and getting it over with. I looked down, seeing my purse, knowing my phone was inside and waiting for me to get this entire process done and over with, but I didn’t take it out, not because I was at work and shouldn’t text, but because I needed a little more time to figure out what I was going to say. I didn’t want to get flustered when the time actually came.

I’d contact him, I’d hear what he had to say, but I needed to wait just a tiny bit longer. It was crucial I be ready for the shitstorm that was about to come, and trust me, knowing me, there definitely was one coming.

This better not end in disaster.