Chardonnay: A Novel (8 page)

His eyebrows furrowed.

“You’re saying I can’t feel what you feel? That I’m not real?”

I crossed my arms and rolled my neck at him. He pulled himself up
from the steps.

“If that’s the case then what the fuck am I doing here...” he took
off down the brick walk way.

The way he said the words, not being volatile from the calm
disposition he was in, made me follow him down that yellow brick road where
sanctimonious dreams lay ahead.

He trampled down the stairs and I jumped down them after him.

“Myron
wait
.” I said as I followed him to
his car. I latched on to his RocaWear polo shirt and his weight shifted back on
me.

“For what?
For you to tell me an
excuse.
I don’t wanna hear it.” he said snatching away from me and going
around to his driver side door.

“I’m sorry, but you have done me dirty.”

“You right. But the difference is that I have never once given up
on you! I’m not perfect I can’t help that!”

To me, he was right. Maybe that was the problem, I always saw him
as the right one.
 

Myron got in his car and unlocked the doors. He obviously wanted
me to get in the car. As I got in,

Myron rested his head back on the head rest.

“You were pure. My wife has to be pure. I love you Char but you’re
not pure.” he said as he turned
to
looked at me.

“Pure? You mean my virginity?”

He nodded his head.

“I was before you took it from me.”

Myron’s stare became serious as he slowly sat up.

“Char, you think I took it from you the other day?”

“Well yeah, Slim and I never had sex.”

He looked at me amazed.

“I thought you said-”

“I thought it too. But the truth is we didn’t get very far. I’m
sorry if I’ve compromised y’all friendship.”

“Hump,
me
and Sky been on the outskirts
for a minute. Not just because of you...so you really wanna be with him, or do
you just want us to be over?”

I took a minute to answer before I said, “I want us to be over.”

“Chardonnay, you mean to tell me this isn’t about another dude?
That you just wanna leave me?”

“I told you!”

He let it go.

“Men, y’all are so territorial and predatory. So you can have sex
with all the girls you want, but I can’t cheat on you?” I said thinking of his
post reaction.

 
“Chardonnay, I know I
cheated. But my father told me a pure woman was a faithful woman no matter what
you do.”

“So?”

“And the shit messed me up! I’ve cheated on you too many times...”
he said confronting the bones in his closet. He had never done that before. It
seemed he was finally getting it.

 
I looked straight ahead and
pondered right there if I was making the right decision of not marrying him
since he was now acting sensible. That was until he said, “Some of the times
you don’t know about, I messed around on you with someone I thought wouldn’t
tell you, because I know how you do.” he said referring to my tracking groupies
down log.

I licked my lips and said,

“How many?”
While bracing myself.

“It’s not how many, that’s the problem...it’s how many times I’ve
slept with the person—just one girl.”

I was sick to my stomach. Too sick and didn’t know why it was
getting to me this bad. Little flutters ripped in my stomach and I heard myself
crying. Knowing is different than someone actually telling you. My denial
couldn’t be my shield anymore.

“You
still seeing
her?”

He took a breath and said,

“No...
not
anymore. I think we can get
through this Chardonnay,” he touched my face bring my lips closer to his.

“I talked to my moms and the pastor at my church. I confessed my
sins and you know I don’t ever do that. I want to start anew.”

I believed him. Or it might have been me wanting to believe it
would work out. It took everything in me to push the hesitant resistance out my
psyche. I didn’t know what the feeling was but something was holding me back.

He took my hands in his and whispered to me a soft I love you in
my longing ear. He kissed me right under my ear, just below my chin, my spot he
had discovered like the moon so many times.
 
He kissed and sucked, making me weak, making me surrender.

“We’re in this together. I need you in my life, Char. I can’t live
without you baby.”

I didn’t speak. Myron started the car up.

“My mother wants to see you. That’s why I’m here.”

“She’s mad at me?”

“Just told me to come get you.”

*
 
*
 
*
 
*

It was
about a ten minute drive from Zasmyth’s house to The Kent’s estate.
 
When we pulled up to Myron’s house his father
was standing in the circle drive way on the phone. As we got out the car, Myron’s
father asked to speak with him alone without acknowledging me.
A first.
Apparently he knew what was going on between us. I
walked past the sparkling fountain and nervously pushed the golden door bell. I
looked back at Myron and Mr. Kent and saw Myron walking angrily off down the
drive

way
. Before I could yell his name and take off after him, the front
door flew open. Mrs. Lim-Kent stood before me with a glass of what I was sure
was wine. She stepped back acknowledging me without words to come in. Once I
did so she closed the door and turned to me. I couldn’t look at her. I felt
shamed for what I had done to her son. But her next action would abort my
condolences.

She hugged me.

“Why?” I asked.

I figured she would have
been mad at me for what I had done
to her son.

“Why not?” she asked raising an eyebrow.

“Come with me.” she said.

We walked to her private office. As we entered, I noticed a
picture of Myron and me along with other family pictures on her mantle. I sat
down in a cashmere covered seat that sat in front of her desk and watched her
come around the side to sit in the seat behind her clear glass desk. I marveled
at her long, sleek, yet textured, jet-black hair.

It was parted in the middle and bumped in soft curls at the
ends.
 
She was beyond gorgeous or exotic.
Her vogue and warm presence was a ravishing novelty.

“So, Miss Chardonnay, tell me—”

“Mrs. Kent I’m so sorry.” I said cutting her off and holding my
head down. She leaned over and lifted my chin.

“For what?
Giving his little ass what he deserves?”

“Huh?
Ah, no that wasn’t my intention.”
I
said surprised.

“You thought I was going to take up for him? Well that’s where
your
wrong. Hump! The so many early morning calls to this
house that would wake me up at ungodly hours! I only wished that he would have
stopped cheating on you. You’re such a sweet and beautiful girl.” she said.

“So you knew?”

“Darling, yes.
He told me he would stop and
promised me not to tell.”

“I thought you were like my mother. Why didn’t you tell me?”

She took a sip of her wine before she answered.

“Well, I wanted you two to be happy. And regardless if I knew,
hell let’s keep it real, you knew too!”

Myron had his mother’s personality. They were proud, dignified
people. But when it came to bringing things to the surface, they didn’t forget
about their awareness of things. Mrs. Lim-Kent had sass and class about her
though. She was my role model besides Oprah. They both taught you how to be
lady not only to yourself, but for your people.

“Chardonnay, I went through this with Myron’s father. But I didn’t
have the guts to do what you did.”

“And what’s that?”

“Make him
realize
what he had. If I hear him cry one more
night over you my ears are going to bleed.”

I smiled and said, “Why didn’t he tell me this?”

“A man can’t admit when he’s weak. And even if he gets to the
point when he realizes his flaw, then that is when he needs his spare rib there
to be his mouth to speak.”

Those words would ring in my ear forever. I taught Myron a lesson,
but Slim taught me a better one: The grass may be greener on the other side,
but watch out for the freshly cut blades.

7

Me, Myself, and My… or So I Thought

As I walked
out of Mrs. Lim-Kent’s office, I heard voices coming from around the corner.

“So can I come in?”

“No, I don’t get down like that no more.”

“Hump!
Must be the turn of the century.
Whatever nigga! I know you still want this good brain.”

“Girl, get yo chicken head ass off my door steps.”

“‘Fo’ I go, my brother Gino wanted to know if you or your father
had that package delivered.”

“I ought to call some broads over here to rough you up. Don’t come
bring that shit here to our home. This ain’t the place of business for that.
Can’t have nigga’s knowing where we lay our heads.”

When I turned the corner, in the foyer at the double door entry, I
saw Shauna, a broke down, with her foot halfway in the door way. They were
always starting some mess and with us just seeing Daisy and her paparazzi ass
seeing Myron and I pull off together, Shauna may have wanted to start some more
drama in a movie starring her.

“Oh, I didn’t know you had company.” said Shauna in a childish
tone.

Myron shut the door in her face as she put her hand up and backed
up.

“Char, she came over here on her own.”

“I know. No need to explain. But what was that all about?”

Myron smirked and said,

“You just contradicted yourself.” He walked over to me and rubbed
my face moving my hair behind my ear. Myron pulled me in his arms and held me
tight as he sniffed my hair.

“You use a different shampoo?” he asked.

I laughed and shook my head at him. I usually used a peach scented
shampoo, but I recently stopped since it reminded me of him.

“Yes. It’s called Cookie Dough form Sephora. You don’t like it?”

“It’s cool. Make me want to eat some thangs,” he moved me toward
him and placed his hand in my heat, moving it around in circles. I flinched
from him from the pleasure and as well the fact that anyone could walk up on
us. With a sexy grin he asked,

“You hungry?”
He pulled his hand out gently and
fed himself some of me.

“A little why?”
I smiled. I loved his soft dirty
talk.
The way he whispered passionately, but made me feel
nasty and ready to buck wild out knowing we would never go that deep.

He caught me up a few times. Myron was just that well-endowed at
his mouth piece.

“I just got my appetite back, plus we need be alone.”

Myron rubbed my face again with his other free hand while sucking
his fingers on the other hand saying,

“Nothing like the peach shampoo though.” as an afterthought.

“Where are we going?” I said.

“I’ll surprise you.”

We drove for what seemed like forever and had passed a hundred
restaurants. I woke up three hours later and read a sign that said St. Louis,
Missouri.

“What the hell we doing here?”
I said.

“I decided we needed a little vacation.”

“You didn’t even ask me if I wanted to come here.”

“I asked you if you wanted something to eat. You didn’t say where.”

“Okay, be funny.
Smart ass!”
I said.

We drove for about thirty more minutes to a Fairmont hotel. Myron
grabbed the bags and handed them to the door handler.

“Thank you sir.”
Myron said as he handed his keys to
the valet.

He tipped him a one hundred dollar bill. We walked to the front
desk and Myron told the woman that the reservations were under the Kent
account. She gave us the keys and I began my barking.

“You planned this.” I said.

He looked at me laughing as we walked hand in hand to the
elevators.

“Uhn huh...I wanted to do something special for you. We’ve been at
it like Ike and Tina, only I’m Tina.” He joked.

“Yeah right!”
I said as the elevator doors
opened. We stepped on and as soon as the doors closed, leaving just the two of
us alone in a small space, Myron pulled me to him. For a moment we stood face
to face staring into each other’s eyes. His arms began to tighten around my
waist and his manhood gently compressed into my pelvis. As intuitive as I had
ever been in my life about anything, I knew this night was the night Myron and
I would make love for the first time.
 
Albeit, Myron had forced himself upon me, I didn’t think I would be able
to handle Myron being inside of me completely and whole. Not the physical
aspect of it, but the emotion that would go into this act. Could I handle his
passion and aggression inside of me? I promised myself that I would never bring
up what he had done to me, and in the confusion of his angered thrust—I felt
a helpless
cream milk between my thighs. So in my mind I
fixed it to be something else...not rape.

When the elevator’s bell rung and stopped abruptly, letting us
know we had reached the tenth floor, we both were knocked out of each other’s
trance. He backed up, stepping out slowly, leading the way. Once we got to the
room, 1039, he took out the key card and slipped it in the door. The double
doors opened and the breath was taken right out of my lungs. It was beautiful.
We walked into the foyer on a pink and white marble floor that shined and
flickered like the sun. The furniture was plush and soft. There were two baths,
two master bedrooms, a mini bar and kitchen, and a spa room.

“You like it?” he asked peering into my face from behind me as he
wrapped his arms around me.

“Ye—yes baby. It’s gorgeous.”

“You get settled in. I’m going to take a shower.” said Myron
already undressing before the bell boy could get all our things in the room.

I went into the master bedroom to the right of me. Mirrors lined
the walls. I looked at myself. My hair color had turned a murky and sand dry,
peach-beige color on my long tresses. I realized I didn’t have any make-up on.
I sat my bags near the closet and looked out the window. The view was breath
taking. I laid on the king sized bed and closed my eyes. Hadn’t really slept in
the last week, and didn’t know how. But now, for some reason, maybe because
Myron was in the next room; I knew he wasn’t with someone else, I slept.

“Char.”

For a moment I thought I was dreaming about everything. Slim,
Myron’s and I fight at the lake, him losing it.
All a dream.

“Char.”

Heard him calling my name.
Dreaming he had been with
me all along. It was still March and we were on spring break, one minute I’m
laughing the next Myron and I was in a fight. Then...a loud crashing noise and
I remember...nothing. Conscience jumped at my heart, it dipped and skipped.
Reality checks in.

“Char.”

“Yeah?”
I said with my eyes still closed.

“Move over!” Myron said as he slapped my ass.

“What do you want?” Bitterness enveloped me, reality was cruel.

I rolled over and opened my eyes. Myron was naked.

“What? You act like you haven’t seen me with my birthday suit on
before.”

“Naw, I just...nothing.”

Was something about the way his body always looked new to me, so
gorgeous. Was something about the way he rushed to take a shower the moment we
stepped in the suite, and didn’t invite
me.
Myron lay
on the bed. He moved the covers back to cover himself up to his waist.

“I want this to work.”

“Well I need another commitment.”

“Cool. I want to be the only man in your life.”

“And the wedding is off.”

“Woe. Wait. What are you saying?”

“I’m saying either you do a 180, or I need to move on.
Tired of wondering if you’ve caught something from them nasty
girls.
And let’s be real, we are not ready for marriage.”

“How you know that?”

“We can’t even stay in a stable relationship let alone a
legal
one.”

He chuckled a bit and said, “I’m ready. I think if we were married
we would fight harder for it.”

“No, if we were married you would feel trapped. And that is enough
to make you want to rebel and stray. People don’t stay married just because
their married.”

Myron sighed and took my hand.

“But I would have to forsake all others. I would have to take care
of you when you’re sick, I would have to love you until death do us part.”

“You wouldn’t
have
to do any of that, you should
want
to. You don’t need a piece of paper to love me like that.”

Myron blinked at me like he never thought about it like that
before. He rubbed his hand over his heart with my C and Tiara crown tattoo over
it. His long eye lashes slowly batted telling me he was drunken by my love.

“I love you to the core of my heart, past my soul Chardonnay.”

“Do you really?”

“I put that on everything. No more of this...foolishness. If I
cheat on you ever again...I don’t know if I would be able to forgive myself.”

“You promise.”

“Promise you. I’ve promised you before. But this time it’s for
real,” said Myron as he cuddled under me, kissing my hand down to my elbow.

“If you cheat on me again, as much as it’s going to hurt...you’ll
be getting this Cartier seven carat ring back.”

Myron got perhaps as quiet as I had ever witnessed. He laid his
head back on the plush pillow and looked up at the ceiling. I moved my arm over
his rippled abs and looked in his face.

“What, you didn’t want to hear me say that?” I asked.

He let out a breath and looked at the ring on my finger.

“Since we’re starting over, why don’t I get you a new ring? You
know, to commemorate it.”

I liked the ring although I couldn’t even remember when he gave it
to me. Myron gave me so much jewelry that I couldn’t even remember him giving
me a wedding ring...now that was pitiful.

I ran my hand over the ring and then tugged at it. He helped me
pull it off and then sat it on the bed side table. Myron picked up the phone
and ordered room service. After doing so he took off his robe. Words couldn’t
describe him.
My Exotic Adonis.

He massaged me, gave me a warm milk, honey, and jasmine bath. I
fell into his trance, his spell. His eyes of mocha brown traveled through me so
deeply. The funny thing about his beautiful brown eyes was that they changed
colors. A light brown, but in these times when they were so deeply brown I fell
in them so easily, yet scared. Scared because I couldn’t see how deep I was
falling. But with mystery came an enticed wonderment. He wrapped me in a towel
and I followed him into the bedroom. He fell in love with me before I fell for
him. I knew that, but he didn’t at first. I could tell the moment he set his
eyes on me.
The joy twinkling.
The same look he was
giving me now. He was eight-years-old and yes he had the final say. May have
looked like his parents chose me, but
he
did that day he sat next to me
at my mother’s gold, red, and green designed Christmas table. I rejected him.
It hurt his feelings and he pulled my hair. Funny now that I look back on it. I
smiled at him as he moved the towel from around me.

“So funny?” he asked.

I kissed him on his lips. Myron knew I didn’t love him the same
the moment we met. But he knew the exact day I did love him the same. His ego
wouldn’t remind him. So we agreed we were children when we fell in love, but we
grew older.
 
And here we were making
love. It was like nothing I ever felt before. I didn’t think there would ever
be a man to match Myron’s skills. Not even with a matching DNA or finger print.
I couldn’t believe I was showing him this side of me. Nor the fact that he was
giving me all of him. He had done this so many times before, but he hadn’t done
this
before.
Making love.
Myron was looking in
my eyes as he called my name. Called for the Lord, told me and Him that he was
sorry for all the things he had done. Crying, touching and sucking my nipples,
kissing me, and looking-in-my-eyes. His engorged girth moving through my warm
waters like a shark looking for new flesh to appetite, only this time he was
gentle and took his time.

I rested nestled in his arms as I watched the sunrise. It was as
beautiful as Myron made me feel. Without moving Myron’s lips whispered in my
ear,

“Will you marry me?”

I smiled and looked down at my ring finger. The seven carat
Cartier ring was replaced with a forty carat Renaissance Platinum ring by
Philip Press.
 
It had baby diamonds going
around the base, on the sides, and in its set. But the best part was the main
stage diamond in a Queen of all princess cuts shape. My mouth dropped and I
looked over at Myron, who was in sincere deep thought. He looked happy about
what he had done, but I wasn’t sure if he knew what he had done. His expression
was worn
and
delighted. I touched his face not realizing he was still
waiting for an answer...I didn’t have one. Before he could speak, room service
knocked on the door with breakfast. Myron got up to get the door as I rolled
over reaching for my robe.
His cell phone rung.
It was
our crew, they were here.
All except Zasmyth.
Gehvoni
wasn’t in Kansas City yet— she wasn’t leaving.
Myron’s cell
rung again.
He sounded as if he was trying to talk low, but I could
still hear the conversation.