Change of Hart (27 page)

“But he said you and mom were gonna . . . ,” he started and then stopped abruptly. That’s when the tears started.

“Me and your mom were gonna what, buddy?”

He sniffled and wiped his eyes with the heels of his hands. “He said you and mom were gonna get married and that you would be my dad from now on. And my other dad wouldn’t be my dad anymore.” He looked up at me with the saddest look I’d ever seen on his face. “He said I’d have to take down all my pictures of my dad and . . . and . . . I don’t want my other dad to not be my dad anymore. I love him and I don’t want you to make him not be my dad anymore.”

My heart broke as I saw the tears running down his face. That feeling, that horrible feeling of missing a parent and desperately wanting him to come back . . . I had never forgotten that feeling. It was like being punched in the gut, run over by a car and having your insides ripped out, all at the same time. Multiplied by a million. It was awful. It was grief. Here I was, watching this boy that I loved so deeply feeling what I had felt all those years ago. And there wasn’t anything I could do to make it better for him.

I looked at Mrs. Teske who appeared almost as heartbroken as I felt.

“Mrs. Teske, is it ok if Jaxon and I just call it a day?” I was ready to get him out of here and give him some time to process through all the emotions he was feeling.

“I think that’s a great idea,” she said, standing up. “Jaxon, I want you to go do something fun this afternoon, ok? We’ll come back tomorrow, start over fresh and have a great day. How does that sound?”

He nodded and we both stood up. I grabbed Jaxon by the shoulder and pulled him toward me, not enough for a hug, but just enough for him to know he wasn’t alone in this.

I thanked Mrs. Teske as we walked out of her office and headed for the front door. On our way, we passed Lindsay, who was greeting a couple dozen kids that were in a single file line, headed toward her classroom. She gave me a sympathetic smile and a pat on the arm as we walked by. Obviously fist fights weren’t a well-kept secret around here.

After signing him out at the front desk and climbing in my car, I texted Addison to let her know I had him with me and everything was fine. That’s when he finally started talking again.

“Where are we going?” He still sounded sad, but he wasn’t crying anymore.

“Well, your mom isn’t home and I don’t have a key to the house,” I said, glancing over at him. He was just staring out the window as we drove. “So we’re gonna go to the one place I know of that is open to me any time I want.”

A few minutes later, we drove into the driveway of a modest one-story home. The flowerbeds in the front were free of weeds and full of purple and orange pansies. All recently planted. A middle-aged woman in a floppy hat stood up from the mulch and started walking toward us, pulling off her gardening gloves.

“Jason! What a nice surprise! What are you doing here?” she asked, wrapping her arms around my waist and squeezing tightly.

“Hi, ma,” I said, kissing her on top of her head. “I was in town and thought I’d stop by. I brought a friend with me.”

I turned around as Jaxon climbed over the front seat and hopped out of the driver’s side.

“Ma, this is my friend, Jaxon.”

She looked at me in surprise, then looked down at Jaxon and held out her hand to shake his.

“Well, hello, Jaxon. I’ve heard so much about you.”

“You have?” Jaxon asked, shaking her hand politely.

“Oh yes,” she said. “I hear you are quite the football fan.”

His eyes brightened immediately and he smiled at her. “I love football! I go to all of Jason’s games!”

“Is that right? Well, you are a fan!” She winked at me as she headed toward the front door. “I bet you boys are hungry, being that it’s lunch time and all.”

I put my hand on Jaxon’s shoulder, squeezing gently, guiding him to follow behind my mom.

“We sure are,” I said. “Jaxon’s lunch was interrupted and I didn’t have any yet. I hope you have enough food for us growing boys!”

She chuckled as we all walked through the living room to the kitchen, sitting down at the barstools. “I’ve got all the fixings for turkey sandwiches. Will that work?” she asked.

“I like turkey sandwiches,” Jaxon answered, watching my mom closely as she pulled out all the ingredients. I stood up to grab plates and napkins but was quickly shooed out of her work area and back to a barstool.

My mom practically ignored me as she chatted with Jaxon, asking him about school and his teacher and what his favorite subject was. I wasn’t surprised to find out he liked PE and recess the most.

“Who is that in that picture?” Jaxon asked as we ate, gesturing to the refrigerator. There were half a dozen pictures of my mom and Rick on their wedding day, in the Mediterranean, on a trip to Napa. But none of those was the picture he was looking at.

“The one of me when I was little?” I asked, tossing my last chip in my mouth. He nodded. “That’s me and my dad. It was taken, what, a week before he died? Is that right, ma?”

She looked at the ceiling like she was thinking. “Umm . . . yeah, I think it was just about a week before the accident. It was the last picture you guys took together. And one of the best.”

It might seem weird to other people that my mom had a twenty-year-old picture hanging on her fridge. But I loved that she never took it down. Sure, the fridge had changed several times over. Heck, she didn’t even live in the same house anymore. But she knew it was important to me that my dad was still recognized as an important part of my life. I had to appreciate that she understood and respected that.

“I have a picture of me and my dad in my room,” Jaxon told my mom. “It’s on my nightstand.” His face fell a little as he said it. Mom glanced over at me with her eyebrows furrowed slightly in question. I gave her a slight nod, answering the question I knew she was silently asking me. I could see the puzzle pieces come together as to why we were here in the middle of a school day. She’d been through it before with me. And she didn’t miss a beat.

“Well, I think you should always have that picture on your nightstand, Jaxon,” she said. “It’s important for a boy to always remember how much his daddy loved him.”

She gathered our plates and turned toward the sink. She didn’t think I caught it, but I saw the tears in her eyes as she turned away from us.

“So Jax, I’m pretty sure I have an extra football in the other room. Wanna go toss the ball around for a while?” I asked. We still had a few hours until Addison got home. The least I could do was try and run his energy out.

“Sure,” he said with a shrug. It worried me that he was still moping around. Hopefully a little fresh air would help with that. And it was still pretty mild out for November, so why not take advantage of it?

After grabbing an old ball out of the spare bedroom, we headed out the back door and down the patio steps into the grass.

I’m not sure how long we tossed the ball around, but it was a good while. Most of the conversation revolved around football, of course. Turns out, he was very opinionated about my teammates and their performance. He was pretty critical of certain plays that had gone bad and could nail down exactly where it went wrong. It was kind of amazing hearing his take on everything. If he kept it up, I could see him becoming a pretty good coach someday.

“Hey, Jason. Haven’t seen you in a while. How’s everything going?” Rick asked as he stepped through the back door and onto the patio.

“Hey, Rick!” I answered, hanging onto the football and turning toward him. “I thought for sure you’d be off doing some book tour or something.”

“Without your mother?” he scoffed. “Like I could leave her behind if I wanted to. You know how much she loves to travel.”

“That she does,” I agreed. “Hey Rick, I’d like you to meet my friend, Jaxon. Jaxon,” I said, looking at Jax but gesturing toward Rick, “this is my stepdad, Rick.”

Rick’s eyebrows raised. I had never referred to him as my stepdad before. I was an adult living my own life when they had gotten married, so he was always just my mom’s husband. But Jaxon was struggling with the relationships in his life. I hoped my own situation could help him sort some of it out.

Jaxon looked back and forth between Rick and me a few times like he was trying to wrap his brain around everything.

“Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Jaxon,” Rick said politely with a nod. “Would you guys like to come up for some lemonade? Your mom just made a pitcher.”

“Sure,” Jaxon said, shrugging and heading toward the steps.

Rick went back inside to grab the lemonade and some glasses while Jax and I sat down at the patio table.

“He doesn’t get mad that you have a picture of your dad on the fridge?” Jaxon asked quietly, like it was a big secret we couldn’t let Rick in on.

“Why would he?” I asked, crossing my arms and resting them on the table in front of me.

“Well . . . cause it . . . cause he . . . cause it’s your dad and your dad is dead so he’s your dad now,” Jaxon finally said in a single breath like he had to get it all out before Rick came back outside.

I smiled at him. “Jax, my dad will
always
be my dad. It doesn’t matter that he died. He’s still my dad and no one can take that away. Not even Rick.”

I reached over and grabbed Jaxon’s hand, causing him to look up at me. “And Jax, no one will ever take the place of your dad either.”

“If you marry my mom, are you gonna make me take down my picture of my dad?” he asked quietly.

I think my heart broke again right then. I wanted to go back to the school and punch that meany buttholehead Vincent Parker myself for putting these thoughts in Jaxon’s head.

“I would never, ever make you take down your picture. I don’t ever want you to forget how special he was because he loved you so, so much. I never want you to forget him. No matter what happens with me and your mom.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

He launched himself at me and threw his arms around my neck, hugging me tight.

“Is anyone ready for some lemonade?” Rick asked as he came out the sliding glass door toward us.

“Yeah!” Jaxon exclaimed as Rick poured a glass for each of us.

He was back. My buddy had been so afraid of losing the only little part of his dad that he had left. I understood that feeling and was so grateful that I could help him get through it. I only hoped my own dad was watching and was proud of what he was seeing.

A
way games never used to bother me. And I guess the out of town part still didn’t. But playing football wasn’t as fun when Jaxon and Addison weren’t in the stands. It was funny how last season, I wouldn’t even think twice about getting on a chartered plane to head out of town. But now I had a twinge of disappointment every time it happened because I missed them.

I knew I had only known them a short amount of time, but I was quickly coming to grips with the fact that I was in this for the long haul. With the exception of my mother, I had never felt that way about anyone before. It still freaked me out. But again, I was coming to grips with it.

It didn’t help that the New York Giants had completely kicked our asses. We started out just fine. In fact, we were up 14 - 0 at halftime. But then it all fell apart. By the end of the game, we hadn’t just lost. We had been slaughtered 30 - 17. Ouch.

We strolled into the locker room as a team, none of us in a hurry to participate in the mandatory press conferences. But what can you do? Talking to the press was part of our job, even after a loss like this one.

I quickly changed out of my uniform and headed to the stage where all the microphones were attached to a podium. I always wondered how that thing didn’t just topple off the stage with all the mics sitting right on top. While I waited for my turn in front of the cameras, I checked my messages. Sure enough, Jaxon had left his regular message of encouragement.

“Hi, Jason! It’s Jaxon. My mom said I can’t stay on the phone very long cause we’re at my Pee-paw’s house, but I wanted to tell you what a great game that was! You had so many sacks, I couldn’t even count them all! And I missed one of them when I had to go to the bathroom, but mom says I shouldn’t tell you that part ‘cause it’s gross. Anyway, I know you lost. But you’re still my favorite player, Jason. You did awesome! I’ll see you later . . . bye!”

I smiled. That kid could always put me in a better mood. Answering questions for a few dozen reporters wasn’t so hard after that.

Once I finished with my obligations in front of the camera, I made my way back over to the locker room. I tried calling Addison but she didn’t answer. She was at some anniversary party for Mick and Angela, so I’d just have to try again later.

When I got back to the locker room, I looked over at my locker and groaned when I saw the suit hanging up. This wasn’t just a suit, it was Armani. What the hell was this for? On cue, my phone beeped, alerting me of a text.

Adam: I’m assuming you forgot. You’re having dinner with Sara Perez and escorting her to a red carpet event for her next movie. When you’re ready to go, security will take you to the front where there is a car waiting. Your flight is booked for two tomorrow afternoon so you can sleep in. All cleared with coaches and administration.