Challenging Depression & Despair: A Medication-Free, Self-Help Programme That Will Change Your Life (25 page)

Maggie

‘I can’t praise gardening highly enough. No matter what I’ve been through the previous night, a morning in my little garden and a cup of coffee will bring me back to life. Nature offers you everything: beauty, originality, complexity, simplicity. I’m not terribly mobile these days but I do go over my neighbour’s garden which looks out onto open fields, and I sit watching the deer and the foxes. It makes life worthwhile again. How can anyone not love Nature? What’s
not
to love?’

Terry

‘I wish I’d done gardening when I was younger but I thought it was for old farts. A lot of old blokes round here have an allotment strip and they all seemed fitter than me, so I’ve never done anything like this but I asked their advice and I grew some tomatoes in a grow-bag just inside my porch. It was a nuisance at first with the mess and the watering etc., but I ate them and wow! They were much better than what you get in the supermarket, and the point was,
I bloody grew them
! It does give you a sense of satisfaction and you don’t have to know a lot to get started. Anybody can do it. Anybody can apply for an allotment strip. Why not, if it saves you money?’

Susanna

‘I do sometimes have a feeling of panic when I’m alone out in the open but I find if I have a friend with me I can manage it. We chose “looking for sunsets” as my project, sitting over the sports field. Often you don’t get anything because of the cloud so you have to be patient. But then one evening you’ll get a really glorious one. The best was when I was there on my own and it was a complete fluke as I was just testing myself to see if I could do it. I started taking photos on my mobile. You get lovely golds and peach colours, not just red, and they are never two the same. I don’t know what it is about the horizon, but hope does come from there.’

Charlotte

‘What does Nature mean to me? Walking across the grass with no shoes on. Everyone should try it. It’s the only time I don’t think about what I look like. Yes, I see the point. I think if I did it more often I might not worry so much about stupid things.’

Philip

‘For my challenge I got my bike out and cycled down to Heybridge Basin. I didn’t think I’d be in any shape after not much sleep but I took it easy and it wasn’t that bad. I sat on a newspaper looking out at the sea, smoking I’m afraid, but I did have a sandwich! When I got home I’d caught the sun. That’s a funny phrase, if you think about it. You catch it and then you bring it indoors. Yes, I felt better. You always do if you get out.’

 Vaz

‘I’m not doing any of that. I’m a townie.’

NOTES

1.
Gavin Pretor-Pinney,
The Cloud Collector’s Handbook
. Sceptre, 2009.

2
. Sonja Linden and Jenny Grut,
The Healing Fields
. Frances Lincoln in association with the Medical Foundation for the Care of Victims of Torture. 

19

Seven: the performance challenge

If you have read the first section of the book
and done the first six challenges you will by now be familiar with the idea of ‘facing the monster’ – turning towards a task that may make you apprehensive or afraid and preparing to deal with it.

NERVES ARE GOOD, BORING IS BAD

You will be familiar with what is popularly known as the ‘adrenalin rush’ when you have decided to go ahead. You will know that this is not a sign of incipient madness or a kind of disease called ‘stress’ or anything else abnormal – because everyone experiences it. You will have discovered that your heightened state of nervousness is part of the complex system of preparation to raise your game in the face of a challenge or threat. You will
also
have learned that the more you face a particular challenge, the less aroused you will feel, until you are finally so relaxed about it you may look round for something else that is ‘more of a challenge’.

So here now is an exciting thing for you to do, one that will put the colour in your cheeks and make you feel life is for living. If you are feeling depressed before you start, the exhilaration of this challenge will flush out your system and recharge your batteries. You may even experience the spark from heaven that goes by the name of inspiration.

ON THEIR HIND LEGS

The performance challenge can cause a lot of apprehension, especially for those who have never tried it before. This is precisely why I want you to do it. My trainees were required to get up on their hind legs in front of our (sometimes very large) classes and give presentations and perform sketches. Many of them regarded it with dread. We would have everything from murmurings of inadequacy to angry outbursts and outright refusals to cooperate (I had papers and the odd chair thrown etc.). I would not brook ‘no’ for an answer because I knew that unemployed people may be required by potential employers to give presentations, give an
account of themselves, perform to order. If they could not do this, they would be unlikely to impress in a highly competitive market.

Despite their initial objections each and every person on the course had to do his or her performance challenge. I would involve the rest of the class in cheering, calling for them to get on with it etc., and in the end the reluctant performer would stumble or crawl to the front and give anything from a reasonable version of what they had in mind, but with a few mistakes which did not matter in the context of their wonderful courage, to the most astonishing
tour de force
that came from they knew not where.

When they sat down I would ask them how they felt. Typically their faces would be flushed, and they would snigger or shrug and say something inconsequential like ‘Oh, it wasn’t so bad’ or ‘I could have done it better’. But I knew by their demeanour that they had made an inner discovery, one that they could not possibly have made in any other way than by doing the performance challenge.

Your
challenge will be to:

•
 give a talk on a subject of your choice
 

•
perform a sketch (alone or with other people)
 

•
give a musical performance
 

•
present and demonstrate a skill of your choice
 

•
perform in a play.

Whatever you choose will require some work and commitment from you. Ideally an element of theatre should be introduced.

You may of course prefer something not on the list, and that’s fine so long as it involves genuinely
performing
. For your audience you may choose either to invite a group of friends to sit and watch or request to perform at a venue in front of strangers – on a stage, in a hall, theatre, club, pub, etc. One very rewarding venue is to perform for people in a retirement home. If you ring up and say you would like to entertain the residents, you will be offering a lifeline to folk who are frequently bored out of their skulls and who would be very appreciative of even the most modest skills. You can even busk in the street if you like, though this generally requires a licence. What you achieve will be up to you, but the exercise will dispel the inner darkness of ‘never daring to do anything’. If you have a couple of friends willing to help you, you might try something that my trainees found huge fun and that often brought the house down. It was this:

Chat show sketch

You are a chat show host. You have two or three ‘guests’. Your job is to think what you will ask them and how you will link them (they don’t have to be living people). You then set up your furniture, introduce yourself and your star ‘guests’ to the audience and then make it up as you go along. Your ‘guests’ don’t have to know anything about their subject areas at all. They can just busk it as well. The more absurd, the better the audience seem to like it.

If you choose to give a presentation, I shall explain how to do this below. If you would like to perform a sketch or a play, you can either select something already written or – far more exciting – write the thing yourself. Or your choice might be to perform some music, perhaps by singing in a competition or in a choir, or as part of a karaoke evening. You might prefer playing a musical instrument or performing a dance. If you choose ‘demonstrate a skill’, this will allow you to do anything from playing the spoons to showing how to grow potatoes. Among our unemployed trainees there emerged extraordinary hidden talents from
trompe l’oeil
(optical illusion paintings) to walking across the floor on all fours facing the ceiling – which fetched huge applause. The important thing is to get out there and do it.

PRESENTATION SKILLS

Presenting a talk to a paying audience carries the responsibility of delivering value for money. On the other hand, you have the advantage of an audience who will shut up and listen to you – at least initially. But giving a talk to people who may not have chosen to hear you, who may not believe you or who may not share your enthusiasm is another matter. It’s tough. So why bother? Because if you can do this:

•
interviews and meetings hold no fears for you
 

•
you can put together a proposal, a synopsis, a case
 

•
you can sell (package) an idea
 

•
you can persuade
 

•
you can think in a crisis
 

•
you can jump in when others hold back
 

•
you can overcome negativity and cynicism
 

•
you can communicate enthusiasm.

TWO KINDS OF PRESENTATION  

There are two basic kinds of talk or presentation: those where you prepare and those where you extemporise. For the second you need to use improvisation skills and fly by the seat of your pants.
Either
may make you nervous. So which is better – to prepare carefully beforehand so that you leave nothing to chance, or to jump in without any idea how you will do it and just improvise?

STAGE FRIGHT

I once worked with a doctor who in the course of his work was required to give presentations at conferences. He didn’t like doing them because they made him apprehensive, so he tried an experiment on himself. He videoed his performance when he had taken tranquillisers, and he videoed his performance when he had not. To his surprise, he decided the second was better. The sedated performance was smooth but it was somehow lifeless. It was predictable, and the audience responded politely and respectfully.

In the second performance (without the drugs) his hands shook slightly and he made a couple of trivial mistakes. But he was more alive, more responsive to the audience and therefore able to adapt his material. He was also more appreciated. The audience warmed to him as someone who was speaking to them personally. They wanted to ‘hear the next bit’ because they weren’t sure what he would say. Because nothing was pat, the timing and the laughs were genuine. There was a human being on the stage instead of an automaton, so he found himself working in an atmosphere of fascination and support. This doctor never took tranquillisers for his presentations any more.

ELEVEN TIPS FOR PREPARING TALKS

If you have the time and the inclination to organise your talk beforehand, there are certain generally recognised rules for success:

1 Define the purpose of your talk.
What’s your point?
 

2 Know your audience
. Who are the people who will be listening? Define your objective – sell, convince, convert, entertain, motivate, shock, inspire or make them laugh?
 

3 Know the setting
. Familiarise yourself with the room or stage and the technology you may be using (e.g. PowerPoint, overhead projection).
 

4 Give it a structure
. Audiences learn best from a series of chunks depending on length – about six is the optimum. So be selective about your chunks. If possible, keep a theme running through and branch off. The conventional wisdom is to begin with an introduction that
includes
your conclusion
.
 

5 Use real examples, analogies or visual aids to make it memorable
. Keep the audience interested by using something dramatic or personal such as:
a reference to the occasion
a startling statement
an anecdote.