Caroline's Secret (18 page)

“Listen . . . Abe . . . I think it’s a shame that Caroline and Andrew were growing so close to each other and now it’s all lost.”

“Well, I can’t do a thing about Andrew’s mind on something like that. I’m not one for passing judgment, but this seems very unfortunate for all.”

“I don’t think you understand. Andrew doesn’t know.”

Abe’s mouth twisted from side to side, pulling his beard this way and that. He reached up and stroked it back into place. “And you think if he did know that it would change things?”

“
Jah
, I do. I think they were so very close to falling completely in love.”

“Andrew needs a second chance at love, and it sounds like Caroline needs a new start as well.”

Esther tried to temper her smile. She had been so scared about telling Abe Caroline’s secret. He could have come back with condemnation, censure, and disapproval; instead he leaned forward and braced his elbows on the table in front of him. “Do you think that if you told Andrew why Caroline has gone that he would . . . ?”

“First off, I promised Caroline that I wouldn’t tell Andrew. That is something you’ll have to do for them.”

“I don’t know, Esther.” He shook his head and sat back. “Why did Caroline go back? Is she still in love with this
Englischer
?”

Esther pressed her lips together. “It seems the
Englisch
boy doesn’t know that he’s a
dat
.”

“This changes things,” Abe said.

“I don’t see how.”

“It seems to me that Caroline is headed toward putting her family together. And it sounds like it’s a long time in coming. I do not think we should interfere with that.”

“I’m not talking about interfering—” Esther started, but Abe was already shaking his head.

“Only a woman would consider that telling him something so dramatic would not be interfering.” He cut a bite off his pork chop and fed it to Moxie under the table.

“Abe Fitch, I expected better from you.”

“What?” he asked, squinting innocently through the thick lenses of his glasses. “I saw you feed him twice whilst we were eating.”

“Not about the dog. About Andrew and Caroline. They deserve a chance.”

He tilted his head in a thoughtful way. At least she had his full attention again. “And . . .”

“And it could be said that if we don’t interfere and give them a chance to work through this that we are interfering as well.”

A frown puckered his brow. “I’m not sure I understand any of what you just said.”

“Never mind, Abe. The least we can do is pray about it,
jah
?”

“I agree that taking things to the Lord is a
gut
idea, but—”

It was her turn to cut him off before he could finish the thought. “You pray about it, Abe. You can do that much.”

“Jah.”

“Now,” Esther said, pushing back from the table, “how about some coffee and pie?”

“Would you like some help?”

She shook her head. “You stay here and finish feeding Moxie your scraps.”

He pushed his glasses a little higher up the bridge of his nose and smiled. Esther’s heart melted a little bit more. Surely a man kindhearted enough to feed a puppy under the table would do everything in his power to support true love.

She smiled to herself as she got their desserts together and carried them back to the table.

Abe was still waiting on her, his plate scraped clean.

“I hope you like apple crisp and ice cream,” she said, sliding a bowl in front of him.

“Jah,”
he said, scooping up his first bite before she had even sat back down.

That was a
gut
sign.

“So that’s why you invited me here tonight? To ask me about Andrew and Caroline?”

“
Jah
. I mean why else?” Esther shrugged and concentrated on getting the right amount of apple crisp to ice cream on her spoon. It gave her something to focus on instead of those suddenly intense blue eyes of his.

“I thought it might have something to do with all the matchmaking Caroline and Andrew were doing.”

Esther sat down her napkin, shock prickling her all the way to her fingertips. “Matchmaking?”

He nodded.

“Caroline and Andrew?”

“
Jah.
All those dinners after church . . .”

“And trips to the farm.”

“You look surprised.”

“I am.” How did he notice all of Caroline and Andrew’s attempts to get them together when she hadn’t? “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Abe finished off the last of his dessert and sat back in his chair. “Well, I figured that you weren’t interested in me that way.”

Esther blinked and opened her mouth, but she couldn’t find the words to respond so she closed it again and blinked for a second time.

Abe raised an eyebrow. Evidently he expected some sort of response to his declaration.

“I . . .” Esther pressed a hand to her chest, right over her pounding heart. “Why would I not?”

He quirked his mouth to one side. “I know you loved John Lapp.”

“I did.”

“He was a
gut
man, that much is certain. And you’ve never remarried. I figured you were still pining after him. If you’re still in love with your husband and you’ve never remarried, how could another man find a place in your heart?”

Esther was struck completely mute. She could only stare at Abe and mull his words over in her head.

But she took too long to decipher what he had said.

Abe pushed back from the table and stood. “I think I should be going now.
Danki
for
nachtess
.”

His words set her in motion. Esther stood with such speed she nearly knocked her chair over backward. “Wait.”

He stopped, hand on the doorknob and Moxie at his feet. “Are you saying that you haven’t minded all this matchmaking the kids have been up to?”

“I haven’t minded a’tall.”

Her heart skipped a beat. “And what exactly does this mean?” She was surprised at herself. When had she gotten so brazen?

“I s’pose that depends.”

“On what?” she all but whispered.

“You.”

Esther felt her knees start to shake.
“Jah?”

“John Lapp was my friend, Esther. I would never do anything to change your memories of him. So if you’re not ready, if you’re still in love with him, then we go on with our lives.”

“And if I say I am ready?”

“Then we can start courtin’ for real.”

There went her heart doing that stuttery thing again. “Can I have a little bit of time to pray about it?” she asked.

“
Jah
, of course.” He started out the door, but stopped half in and half out of her apartment. “I’ll be by tomorrow for the answer, say about three.”

Esther smiled. “I’ll make sure to have some coffee ready.”

Andrew couldn’t believe he let Danny talk him into going out with Sarah again. He had so much on his mind lately that his instincts were down. He hadn’t thought it through. He’d just been too tired to argue.

“I know.” Julie giggled and covered her mouth, her eyes flashing from Danny to him and back again.

They were seated in one of the back booths at Kauffman’s. They had been taken to their table, served waters, and given menus, but so far, all Andrew had been able to concentrate on were the memories of the last time he had been there with Caroline.

“What do you think, Andrew?” Danny asked, stirring his lemon around with the end of his straw.

“What?”

“I told you he wasn’t listening,” Julie admonished.

Sarah blushed.

“We’re planning on going out to the Millers’ pond to go swimming tomorrow. You want to come?”

He opened his mouth to excuse himself from the excursion when Sarah said, “Please.”

And Julie added, “Come on, Andrew. It’ll be fun.”

Why not?
He deserved to have a little bit of happiness instead of pining away for something that could never be. Caroline had left without even telling him good-bye in person. She had only written him a letter.

How much could he mean to her if that was all she felt she needed to give him? Not much.

His thoughts were far from charitable, but his sadness had quickly turned to anger. He had thought that they meant something to each other.
Ach
, but was he wrong. “Sure,” he said, tamping down his anger. “That sounds like a lot of fun.”

At ten minutes till three, the bell over the bakery door rang and Abe Fitch shuffled in.

Esther tried to hide her panic but was sure it showed regardless. A bus had come in from Tulsa bringing a church group of quilters. All the ladies had to come into the bakery to grab a snack and a cup of coffee and settle down a little before the bus headed back to the city.

Normally buses weren’t a problem, but with Caroline gone this one was. Esther ran herself near ragged trying to fill her regular orders as well as take care of all the walk-ins.

She appreciated the business, but she was frustrated all the same. How was she going to continue on without Caroline?

The only way was to hire someone else, but that seemed like she was admitting that Caroline wasn’t ever coming back to Wells Landing.

The thought made her sad beyond belief.

Maybe she could get Jodie to increase her hours. Just for a while.

“
Ach
, Esther Lapp, it looks like a tornado blew through here.”

Esther swiped a loose strand of hair and pushed it back under her prayer
kapp
. “Worse,” she said with a sigh. “Tour bus.”

Abe laughed. “I left Danny and Andrew haggling with some ladies who wanted a deep discount on furniture.”

“I’m sure they appreciate that very much.”

Abe shrugged. “How else will they learn?”

Esther sighed and looked around the messy dining room floor. “Jodie will be here in a few minutes, but I think it’s going to take longer than that to clean up this mess.”

“I guess it’s been hard without Caroline.”

“Jah.”
Esther sighed again. “I don’t want to hire anyone else.” She grabbed the broom by the handle and started to sweep up the crazy mess of wax paper wrappers and tracked-in debris.

Abe took the broom from her. “I can sweep, you clear the tables.”

Esther had never had anyone help her before Caroline had come to Wells Landing, and the gesture was almost more than she had hoped for.

Abe was sweeping up the last of the trash when Jodie arrived a bit late, pink-cheeked and breathless. “I’m so sorry, Esther. My
bruder
fell just as we were leaving. My
mamm
had to get him in the buggy and over to the doc’s. She stayed there with him. I had to walk the rest of the way.”

“No worries, child. Is he going to be
allrecht
?”

“Jah”,
Jodie said. “I think so. Just some stitches and a headache.”

“Gut, gut,”
Esther said. “Get your apron and wash your hands. I’m going to take a little break with Abe Fitch,
jah
?”

Jodie blinked as if she had been struck deaf, then smiled from ear to ear.
“Jah”,
she said loud enough for Abe to hear. Then she lowered her voice and added, “Caroline would be so proud,” for Esther’s ears only.

Esther hid her own smile and turned back to Abe. “
Danki
for the help, Abe Fitch. Just give me a moment, and we can talk.”

He shot her a quick nod.

“I’ll get you some snacks together,” Jodie said, then snapped her fingers as inspiration struck. “I’ll make it to go so you can take it to the park,
jah
?” Without waiting on their okay, she began to pack a paper sack for them.

Esther excused herself and made her way back to the apartment that she had shared with Caroline and Emma. Now only Moxie waited for her to return.

She scratched the pooch behind the ears. “Hey, pup, you want to go for a walk?”

Moxie barked out his response, and Esther laughed.

She gave him one last pat on the head, then made her way to find a clean apron.

She was not trying to impress him, she told herself as she donned the clean garment and washed her hands and face. She removed her prayer
kapp
and brushed her long brown hair out.
When had she gotten so gray?
She parted it down the middle and secured it at the nape of her neck. Definitely when she wasn’t looking. She smiled at her own joke and repinned her prayer
kapp.

There. She was serviceable, she told herself, turning this way and that as she looked into the tiny bathroom mirror. Then she reached up and pinched some color back into her cheeks.

“Foolish old woman,” she muttered to her reflection, then she checked to make sure that she didn’t have anything stuck in her teeth and went to fetch Moxie’s leash.

When she arrived back at the front of the bakery, Abe was waiting on her with two coffees and a bulging paper sack in hand.

Though his hands were full, Abe offered her one of his elbows to take as he guided her across the street and into the city park.

This was definitely something Esther had missed since John had passed away. Having a man to escort her, a companion at her side. She had proven to herself and to others that she could survive on her own, even in a culture that thrived on togetherness.

She could support herself, make her own way. She didn’t have to lean on anybody in order to survive. It made the thought of walking side by side with Abe Fitch all the more sweet.

Let me talk
, she said to herself as they made their way to one of the picnic tables.

“Did you say something?” Abe asked.

Esther shook her head, hoping that if she had, she would be forgiven her unintentional lie. She released his elbow and slid onto one side of the bench.

He set their snack on the table and took Moxie’s leash from her. “You look like you could use a rest. Let me take this here fella for a walk,
jah
?”

She stretched her legs out in front of her. The energetic part of her wanted to walk beside him and find out what he had decided about telling Andrew the truth. But the tired part of her—and she was going to call it her tired part and not her cowardice—just watched him patiently wait for Moxie to finish his business before directing him back to where she waited.

Abe looped the puppy’s leash around one of the table legs and stepped over the bench just across from her.

Esther pushed his coffee across to him and opened the so-full paper sack. “Cookies or coffee cake?”

He gave her a look.

“Right,” she said, doling out both in front of him. If there was one thing she had learned about Abe Fitch in the last few weeks, it was that the man sure enjoyed his sweets.

He took an appreciative bite out of the coffee cake. Esther was a little too anxious to eat. She sat, hands folded, and resisted the urge to tap her fingers while Abe ate.

“You should have your snack,” Abe said, starting on the stack of cookies in front of him.

Evidently, Abe wasn’t going to talk until their snack was complete. Esther picked up a cookie and nibbled the edge. There was just too much at stake: the two of them, Caroline and Andrew. So much hinged on what he was about to say.

“We can’t eat and talk?”

He shrugged, and she was sure that she saw a sparkle of mirth in those blue eyes. “What do you want to talk about first?”

“Caroline,” she said. The young people, they were the most important. She and Abe had their chance at happiness in life. It was time for the young’uns to have theirs.

“You want me to tell Andrew all about Caroline’s troubles.”

“Jah.”

“It seems to me that it’s almost . . . gossiping.”

“Abe Fitch, you are making more of this than needs to be. All you have to do is tell Andrew that Caroline wants him to follow her to Tennessee.”

Abe stroked his beard. “If it’s so easy, why don’t you tell him?”

Esther felt the blush, hotter than the hot Oklahoma summer sun. “Because I promised I wouldn’t tell him.”

Abe squinted at her. “But it is okay to tell me?”

“I didn’t promise to not tell you.”

“You are a sneaky one, Esther Lapp.” But he smiled, taking the sting from his words.

“So you’ll do it.”

He nodded. “These
kinner
deserve to be happy,
jah
?”

Esther smiled, exhaling her relief.
“Jah.”

“Now”—Abe cocked his head to one side and eyed her thoughtfully—“what are we going to do about the two of us?”

“What do you suppose we should do?” Not much of a response, but she was too nervous to be hopeful, too hopeful to be uneasy. He had said that he had admired her for years.

He looked away, staring off into the grassy expanse of the park. “Esther, I think you are a fine woman.”

Her heart sank. That sounded like a brush-off if she had ever heard one. “But . . . ?”

He turned back to her, his eyes alight with a blue fire. “No but. You were the one who wanted to pray about it.”

“And you didn’t?”

He shook his head. “The good Lord told me long ago that you were the woman for me.”

A small kernel of happiness burst in her chest.
“Jah?”
she whispered.

“I always thought you were a handsome woman. Even when you were married to John Lapp.” He shook his head. “Then after he died, it seemed that you were determined to make a go of it single, so I left well enough alone.”

Esther’s breath caught in her throat. “Are you saying . . . ?”

“That I’ve had my eye on you for longer than I can remember?
Jah
.” He reached across the table to where her trembling hand lay and took it into his own. “I’m willing to give it a try if you are.”

Esther laughed. “What do you think I’ve been trying to do?”

Abe returned her laugh with a smile of his own. “I thought you were just trying to get the kids together.”

“That too.”

“Well, I guess it’s time to see if we can make both of these relationships work.”

She couldn’t stop her wide smile, nor did she want to. Then she stopped. “Wait, if you have known for a long time that you wanted to court me, why didn’t you tell me that last night? Why make me wait until today?”

Abe ducked his head, then looked back up at her with a grin. “I had to make you wait a little bit. No sense in letting you think you were already walking around with my heart.”

“Am I?”

He took her trembling hand into his own. “For sure and for certain.”

The day was a perfect one by most standards. The sun was shining in the pristine blue sky. There was a light breeze out of the north that swept in and kept everything cool despite the mid-nineties temperatures.

“This is going to be so much fun,” Julie gushed as they parked the tractor at the edge of the cornfield. It was a short walk from there down to the pond that sat in the middle of the two fields, the trees surrounding it forming an oasis in the sea of corn.

“Jah”,
Sarah agreed, looking around. “You don’t suppose anyone else is here, do you? Or maybe coming?”

Danny shrugged and transferred the picnic basket he carried from one hand to the other. “Hard to say. Why?”

Andrew thought he saw a touch of pink rise into Sarah’s cheeks before she turned away. “No reason.”

Julie sighed and turned in a complete circle as she walked, arms out at her sides, a big smile on her face. “It’s a
wunderbaar
day.”

“Jah,”
Danny agreed, though his gaze was centered on the girl in front of him instead of their surroundings.

The temperature dropped several degrees as they ducked into the thatch of trees surrounding the pond. The mighty oaks and springy evergreens added both shade and seclusion to this favorite spot of the Amish kids.

On the banks, Julie and Sarah excused themselves to take off their dresses. Once they were out of sight, Andrew started to unlace his shoes and take off his socks.

“I really think Sarah likes you.”

Andrew frowned. “I don’t see why you think that. She’s hardly looked at me all day.”

Danny took off his hat and tossed it to the ground, then started unbuttoning his shirt. “Maybe if you acted like you like her.”

“I do like her.”
Just not like that
. Andrew swept his own hat from his head and stripped down to the shorts he wore under his pants.

“You miss Caroline.”

He stopped, his shirt half-on and half-off.
“Jah,”
he said quietly. But what good did that do him? She had left him behind without a word since. “I miss Emma too.” It was amazing how such a small creature could own such a big piece of his heart, but there it was. Emma and Caroline. His girls that were no longer his.

“Have you tried to contact her? Write her a letter, get her a message by phone? I’m sure Esther would let you use the bakery phone.”

Andrew shook his head. “I wouldn’t know who to call anyway.”

“What about a letter?”

“And say what? I can’t believe you left to go see your sick grandfather?”

Danny cocked his head to a thoughtful angle. “If that’s all she’s doing, then why did her letter make it seem like she was never coming back?”

It was the one question Andrew had never let himself ask. He was afraid of the answers. “I don’t know.”

“Did you miss me?” Julie sashayed out from between the trees where she and Sarah had gone to change. She wore a black swimsuit like the
Englisch
favored, though this one covered more skin than most. Her hair was still in its tidy roll at the nape of her neck, but her prayer
kapp
had been left behind with her
frack
and apron.

Danny stilled, his gaze soaking in the image of his girlfriend.

Jah
, they’d most likely be married this fall if the look on Danny’s face was any indication. Andrew was happy for his friend. He truly was. But if Beth had lived, they would probably be getting married this fall.

It was the first time she had come into his mind in weeks. The thought made him sad. Maybe that was why Caroline left. Maybe this was God’s way of telling him to slow down, take things in the time they came, and not to worry about the unknown.

Julie gave a turn so that Danny could get a glimpse from every angle, then she ran to the fishing dock and jumped into the pond, Danny right behind her.

“They are such a sweet couple,
jah
?” Sarah asked from behind him.