Burned (14 page)

You gonna sleep all day?
called Aunt J, the screen door slamming behind her.

I wrestled myself out of bed, slipped into the Levi s she had loaned

me. They fit just like a pair of jeans should.

Snug but not too tight.

Brushed my teeth. French braided

my hair. Wished I had

some makeup.

And knew how to use it.

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But I didn't. What Ethan saw,

Ethan would get. Wait, that wasn't right.

Or maybe it was exactly right.

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W
e Saddled Up

Just past daybreak, the sun

glowing tangerine behind a soft wash of morning.

Ethan's big black, Diego, pawed impatiently as his human

tightened my cinch.

"No sideways riding, now,"

Ethan said, smiling. "That's just

plain showing off."

Old Poncho stood, still as a post, as I tried to find a half-comfy

position for my bruised behind.

We started off at a gentle pace,

Aunt J on Paprika. The mare fit her name--copper red, with a temper.

She's edgy today,
said Aunt J.

Been too long since she's waded into a herd of longhorns.

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Edgy. Exactly. A jackrabbit

ashed across the trail and Paprika

danced into the air.

Better let her run. You up for speed?

Aunt J didn't wait for an answer.

Neither did Paprika.

Ethan's black was game. He

took off after the copper mare like it was the Kentucky Derby.

Poncho responded with a butt-

jarring, teeth-rattling trot.

Plop-plop-plop-plop.

Aunt J looked back, laughed, and yelled,
Let loose of the reins and give him a kick.

I did. Reluctantly, Poncho

launched into an easy canter.

Karoomp-karoomp-karoomp.

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Diego caught Paprika and the two ran neck and neck.

It was thrilling to watch.

Bouncing, sliding, and somehow

hanging on, Poncho and I followed their dust for a quarter mile or so.

Finally, they slowed.
There they are,
shouted Aunt J.
Just waiting for someone to bring 'em to fodder.

A longhorn is an awesome sight,

2000 pounds of beef, with horns

that could make the devil tuck tail.

Ninety cows and a bull, plus calves in various sizes, dotted a meadow just beyond a cattle chute.

This drought has spent the low

meadow. We'll move 'em up-country, on government land, for the summer.

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Howie! Maiziel
Australian shepherds were born to herd. The dogs leaped into action and the cattle took notice.

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Personally, I Took Notice of Ethan

I was never big on cowboy flicks, but watching

Ethan command that big horse was by far the sexiest thing I had ever seen.

He didn't need the reins, but moved the black by shifting weight.

Their rapport--

musical, syncopated-- was a thing of incredible

beauty. I knew I wouldn't walk

right for days, but I didn't care. Just being there was worth every bump and lump.

Through a Stretch of barbed wire fence, we entered public land, where cattle

could graze for a small fee

and, according to Aunt J,
a ratton of shit from the "greenies."

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Not that I don't

think our environment

needs protection. But the

Good Lord, blessed this country with all the necessities for running heef.

I've got to believe that's what He had in mind.

We spent the better part of the day coaxing the dogs, chasing strays, and otherwise

moving the herd up-mountain. It

probably seems dumb, but I'd never had so much fun.

The shadows

had stretched long toward the east by the time we reached the high meadow reservoir. Dogs, horses, and longhorns took a good deep swallow, and just about then I realized we'd be riding home in the dark.

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But Aunt J Had Other Plans

With the cattle free to graze at will, we unsaddled the horses, tied them on long

leads, and left them to the tall grass.

A perfume of green followed their munching.

I hadn't even noticed the bedrolls and saddlebags. Once I did it became clear

we were spending the night.

I'd
never in my life camped out under open sky.

Ethan and I gathered firewood as Aunt J

cleared a spot in the sand near the water.
The grass is green, but we can't take a chance on settin a wildfire. Sand is tough to burn.

A
sudden urge hit and it came to me

I hadn't gone pee all day. How could I go now, with Ethan right there? I pulled

Aunt J off to one side. "I really gotta go . . . you know.

She chuckled.
Ethan Carter, you turn

your head toward the lake, now. Don't move until

I say so.
Then she pointed toward a nearby deadfall.
Your throne awaits you, Princess.

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I didn't feel much like royalty, squatting behind that old dead tree, but I don't think Ethan

peeked. I'm pretty sure Derek would

have tried. He and his crew were definitely that type.

Anyway, as dusk rolled out its deep blue

carpet and the stars lit up, one by one, we sat around the campfire, eating Sandwiches and apples.

In the fringe of woods, coyotes fired up a serenade.

Hardly aware I was doing it, I scooted a little closer to Ethan. He put a good-natured arm around my Shoulder.
You aren't afraid
of those varmints, are you? They won't bother us.

His touch was electric. I didn't dare

move, didn't want to disturb the stunning connection.

My voice was barely a whisper. "It's just a little spooky, being out here, so close to them."

I prayed he wouldn't take his arm away, wouldn't leave me shaking in the descending darkness.

He didn't. Instead he pulled me in to him.

Don't worry, pretty lady. I'LL keep you safe.

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It was a moment to read about in a romance

novel, to see on a movie screen. All that was missing was for him to turn his face toward mine, tilt my chin, and part his sultry lips . . .

But even without the kiss, it was magical.

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We

Stoked the Campfire

For the night, unfolded the bedrolls. They were thin, but the night was warm. Before very

long, Aunt J was sawing logs. Ethan and I lay, feet to the fire, staring up at black Nevada sky, where I swear a billion stars

had shown their lovely faces.
I'd
never seen

such beauty in my life. "Do you

suppose anything lives

out there?" I asked.

Well, of course,

Ethan answered.

The universe is a very big place.

Besides, Td be real surprised if the Good

Lord didn't hedge His bets somehow. I think He

must be real disappointed in His humankind experiment.

I thought about that for a little bit, then asked,

"So you believe God really exists?

I used to think so, but lately

I'm not so sure I believe in anything."

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Not God.

Not family.

Surely not

love.

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Ethan Propped Him

On one elbow, looked

straight down into my eyes.

Can't

you see Him, sleeping

there in your Aunt Jeanette?

Can't

you hear Him, sighing through the junipers?

Can't

you smell Him, raining

life down on the desert?

He hesitated, unsure, found what he needed in my eyes, then finished,

Can

you feel Him

when I do this?

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Ethan reached down, kissed me, long and deep and sweet as a mountain spring.

And in that kiss was little

doubt of anything.

Especially love.

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It Was the Kiss You Dream About

The one that makes you understand

what all the hype is about.

Nothing I'd done with Derek

had produced the kind of electricity

now sizzling through my arteries.

In fact, all
I'd
done with Derek-- the best of it, and the worst of it--

became instantly inconsequential.

(In fact, who was Derek?)

I didn't want Ethan to stop, and he didn't for a very long time.

When he finally pulled away, he stroked my cheek, brushed

my hair from my eyes, and said,

I hope that was okay.

"No," I whispered, hoarse with want. "It wasn't okay at all.

It was pretty much perfect."

283

Good,
he said, nesting down into the tall grass.
Because, far as I'm concerned,
that's only the beglnning.

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But He Didn't Try to Escalate

Didn't even kiss me again. Instead, he pulled me into his arms. My

ear settled against his chest as he fell into a satisfied slumber.

It was all so natural, yet so completely

new, listening to the rhythm of his breathing beneath my ear.

Only the beginning . . .

What that might mean was way too

frightening to consider. In my

limited realm of experience, beginnings led to endings.

I ran my hand lightly over his body, memorized muscle and bone.

He responded with a sigh.

I breathed him in.

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He smelled of apples, horse, and well-

earned sweat, which I somehow found

attractive. He smelled real.

He was real. Wasn't he?

If I awoke in the morning to find him

gone, would I think it was all a dream?

Or would I more likely believe it was all a mistake?

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I Awoke

To the colorless pall of early morning, and a hint of dew on my bedroh.

It took a few seconds to realize where

I was and when I did, the night before absolutely seemed like only a dream.

And yet, there was Ethan, beside me.

He rolled toward me, cracked one eye, and said,
Morning, m'lady. Sleep well?

I smiled. "I'm not exactly sure. Last night

seems a bit hazy." (Where did I dig up "coy"?)

Ethan pretended hurt.
Is that so?

Well, tell me, how much is clear?

"Let me see. I remember sitting by the fire, ravenously consuming a cold supper . . ."

Okay, sounds like we were both in the same general vicinity. What eise?

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"Something regarding coyotes. . . and was there a discussion about God?"

God and extraterrestrial life. A deep

philosophical dialogue. After that?

"Hmm . . . I'm trying to remember, really

I am. Can you give me a little hint?"

With pleasure.
Our second kiss, though shorter, was every bit as memorable as the first.

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Shorter Because Aunt J

Was already up and singing a Garth Brooks ballad, accompanied by the paw of horses, an occasional

moo, and the good-

natured yip-yip of dogs.

She glanced our way, no

shock, no anger, then gave a wink absent of "I told you so.