Burden (7 page)

“Like a child,” she pouted. It was the cutest damned thing I’d ever seen.

“Like a woman who was denied proper education and training. Ready?”

“Yes, tell me where in the heck we came from.”

“First, there’s no
way you’re comfortable like that. Lay back, give me your feet.”

I did as he suggested. He rolled something around in his head, as if deciding where to begin.

“The Creator made the Earth, and the light was separated from the dark. Then He made the animals. He filled the oceans first and then made the reptiles. Then He made the mammals. When He made the bear, the Creator couldn’t decide which color to make it. He took a great deal of time deciding, enough time to really begin to love the bear’s disposition and decided that one kind wasn’t enough. So, He created the Panda, the Grizzly, the Polar bear, the Kodiak, you get the point. But there was one bear missing. He’d made one more to color at His will, but suddenly it was gone. The Creator looked and looked for the bear until the night took over the day. Then, just as He’d given up looking, He found it. The other bears were fast asleep but the last bear was wide awake. He was so overjoyed at finding the lost bear that his heart skipped a beat and so did the bear’s—he was just as lost without his Creator as the Creator was without him. Since the last bear was so active in the night while the others slumbered, He colored him black to match the night sky. That’s how the black bear came to be.”

I barely heard the last part, his hands were kneading my feet
, and though I had slept the night before, I was restless. There were so many things I’d intended to ask him, but my eyelids wouldn’t let me be. I fell into a deep sleep.

The collar—it was around my neck again, stinging, burning—my neck was on fire. Horace’s booming voice blasted in my ears. Claws, there were claws grasping my legs, dragging me back to the cabin, the gates closed with Hawke on the other side.

"Echo, you’re safe.”

I gasped awake from the nightmare and climbed all the way to the edge of the couch, getting my bearings.

She clawed inside of me, needing the freedom of shift to fully recover from such a traumatic memory. Then hands, warm, calloused and loving cupped my face and she heeded his touch with a whimper, letting him comfort her and me. But I still needed to run. She’d been cooped up long enough.

“It’s okay, Echo. Look at me.”

I matched the eyes with the voice of Hawke and allowed the pools of black to pour over me, taking rest in them “mate.”

It
was my bear who spoke through my mouth, demanding that I recognize his presence.

“Yes,” he beamed at me, now wrapping his arms around my waist,
“I’m yours—and you’re mine—mate—always safe with me.”

A problem left unresolved was answered when my bear took over again, closing the distance between us and clinging to him. I nuzzled his neck, letting the scent of him, grass, rain and earth infiltrate me, willing it to bind with my blood and flow through me. “I’ve never had nightmares before.”

“You never slept much before.”

I shook my head. He was right, I hadn’t slept long enough to have dreams before and usually I was so exhausted, it was more like passing out than drifting into sleep.

“We can run tonight—without the clan. We can’t run with them until you’re marked.”

“Marked?”

“We can talk about that later,” he said, smoothing one of his hands over my hair.

We were pressed so closely together
, my mind told me to pull away, but the rest of me swatted those thoughts away. I could feel our hearts both once fluttering, now slowing down together. I pulled back with a second gasp and pressed a hand to his chest where his heart lay. He covered my hand with his own and then placed his other hand over my heart. I reciprocated in laying my other hand on top of his, closed my eyes and just listened, reveling in the dual beat.

“Why,” I asked, eyes still closed.

“You fell asleep before I finished the story.”

“Sorry, Alpha.”

“Open your eyes, Echo,” his breaths were short and shallow.

I did and found something inconceivable in his stare, “In private, please do not call me Alpha. I am yours, Alpha or not. Call me Hawke, call me anything but Alpha.”

“Ok. Can you tell me about this,” I asked, rubbing a circle on his chest.

But a firm knock on the door interrupted our moment.

He chuckled, “It’s always gonna be like this. An Alpha has knocks on the door at all times of day and night, phone calls, emergencies—I’m sorry. I wish I was just a regular clan member who could devote every minute to taking care of you.”

“They rely on you. Those cubs today, one mention of going to school to be strong and smart like their Alpha and t
hey were rearing to go. You are so important to them. I can already see that.”

Another knock.

“We’d better get that,” I said, and he set me aside, and it was all I could do, not to pout.

He opened the door in a gruff and revealed a hefty woman in her early forties, with my two little truant buddies from t
he morning. I also saw the dusky sky behind her and wondered exactly how long I’d slept.

“Alpha, Coeur, I wanted to thank you for helping me with Evan and Elliot.”

Hawke bid her entrance, and she was followed by an older teenaged girl carrying what looked like paper bags full of something.

“Our other daughter, Opal, left the
clan for a male in the LaFourche clan. She left everything. She was about your size,” she said in my direction. “We don’t have a lot to give, but Martha said you arrived with little to nothing. We thought you could use the clothes. Some of them still have tags on them. She was spoiled rotten.” She and the other girl proceeded to put bags inside the house just within the doorway. It looked like more clothes than I’d ever owned all put together.

“Thank you so much. We appreciate your gift. I’m sure Echo will be able to make use of them.”

I nodded, overcome by their generosity.

“And Elliot and Evan promise to go to school. We’ve given them the phone number to Martha if they miss the bus.”

“That’s repayment enough. I hope they realize how blessed they are to be able to go to school.” I blurted out and then was taken aback by the revelation of my mistreatment.

“Thank you again. We will leave you be.” They scooted out of the door with final waves and the woman bared her neck to us both before Hawke shut the door.

“The clan adores you already. Word of you catching Evan and Elliot has spread through the clan and they are all grateful for your quick wit and sharp eyes.”

I plopped back down on the nearest piece of furniture, the arm of the loveseat.

“Your heart flutters, mate. You don’t have to wear the clothes.”

Silly man—he thought it was about the clothes.

“Your clan just gave me two things I’ve never had.”

“What?”

“Gifts and acceptance. It’s a lot to process.”

He nodded curtly
, but I could feel a new emotion gurgle in me—in him.

“Are you angry—is that anger?”

“No, it’s …it’s something else.”

“Why?”

“It’s not important. I have to catch up on work. Are you hungry?”

“No,” I answered, frustrated by his sudden closed door, “Can I make you something?”

“No thank you. Let me know if you need anything.”

And he walked out of the room with heavy steps, leaving m
e longing for the kiss he placed on my head. It was strange how something I’d never been given could become such a necessity in such a short time. I picked up the clothes, all eight bags of them and dragged them upstairs to my room. They were all washed so I faced the daunting task of putting them all up. I hated putting clothes up. And whatever was wrong with Hawke was gnawing in my chest, raveling my stomach in fits of grief. I had an idea.

I tiptoed down the stairs to his office and knocked on the door.

“You don’t have to knock.”

His voice had an icy edge to it.

“I’m sorry. Can I have Martha’s number? She said you had it if I ever wanted to talk.”

He stared at me, with a look I couldn’t describe. It pained me though I didn’t know its exact meaning.

“Here,” he scribbled it down on a piece of paper and jutted it towards me.

I thanked him but he’d
already returned face down to his desk. Maybe Martha would have some insight.

She answered on the first ring and was knocking on the door in minutes. Hawke emerged from his office to see who was at the door but then after greeting her, went back into his office, grumbling. I led her to my room where we hung up shirts and dresses.

“I’ve done something to upset him,” I spouted, breaking the silence.

“I’m sure you didn’t.”

“I did. He’s holed up in that office. Two days in and I’ve isolated myself.”

“
First of all, you’re never alone when you’re mated. It just feels that way. Tell me everything leading up to when you felt like he was angry.”

So I did. I recalled everything in detail and she nodded here and there.

“Then he said he had work to do and dismissed himself. I’m not good at this, Martha. In my other clan, I barely spoke to anyone else and now I have this amazing man telling me I’m his mate. I’m having trouble just keeping hold of myself. But at the same time his anger or whatever it is just—just…”

“Consumes you,” She answered.

“Yes. What do you think?”

“I don’t want to upset you, but friends tell each other the truth.”

“I’ve never had a friend,” I admitted.

“Well, now you do. Here it is. You became emotional and expressed gratitude for the
clan giving you gifts and accepting you. But he’s already done that. He accepted you first and gave you a gift of freedom. Not to mention, he’s fed you and opened his home to you. Plus, he’s a male and if you don’t explicitly thank them they get all huffy.”

We laughed together and finished up hanging the clothes—moving on to folding.

“Martha, can you tell me about the mate mark?”

Her eyes grew wide, “I can, but it’s really not my place. I woul
dn’t want the Alpha to think I stepped out of place.”

“Please tell me,” I begged, “Don’t make me pull the Alpha Female card on you.”

“The Female Alpha card already? Fine, but I won’t give specifics. That’s for your mate to handle.”

“Ok.”

“So, there are many steps to a formal mating. The first is the eye contact, the change in heartbeat.”

“Check,” I marked it off my mental list.

“The next is the mark. You mark him and he marks you.”

“Be more specific, Martha. This is mating for dummies over here.”

“Ok, you have to bite him and then he has to bite you in the same place on your body.”

She covered her face and her blush. I was obviously treading into intimate territory.

“Then there’s the claim in front of the clan as bears. When you shift together everyone sees your matching marks and accepts the claim. After that there are the vows, preparation, plus the ceremony, but it all has to be completed before the next new moon after the marking. And the female must make the male a gift.”

“Make?”

“Yes, make. ‘It cannot be bought or sold for it has no value to anyone except for your mate.’ That’s what my mom says.”

That didn’t sound so bad. “So then that’s it. Right? That’s it?”

“Not exactly. But the rest I’m soooo not telling. The Alpha can explain the rest. “

We were done folding
but I was still restless.

“Tell me what to do, Martha. He’s pissed—no, I think he’s hurt.”

She moved to straighten something on my dresser and grab her sweater she’d taken off before, “Let me ask you one thing. Do you accept Hawke as your mate?”

“Honestly, my brain says no but my heart says yes. I think it’s because I wasn’t raised here. Anyone would be blessed to have Hawke as a mate.”

She hugged me, “You forgot the most important thing. What does your bear say? Her instinct is the most important. It will never, ever steer you wrong like the jumbled emotions of our human forms.” Pulling back to look at me, she nodded, “That’s what I thought. Go to him. She will guide you in how to ease your mate.”