Bumblestook: Book 1, The Accidental Wizard (6 page)

The parents in the audience tittered as they observed the children, all dressed up in their Halloween finery, shuffling their feet while they waited for the music to begin. Some called out their children’s names and waved. Some snapped pictures. The Bumblestooks and Faires sat stiffly on the edges of their seats, ready to leap to their feet and rush the stage if necessary.

“Which one’s Farley?” Harvey whispered to his wife.

“He’s in the back row, in the teddy bear costume. Next to the biggest pumpkin,” she replied.

“Well, at least you didn’t give him a tail to trip over. He does look kinda cute,” Harvey commented, with a chuckle.

Lance and Olivia were keeping an eye on their daughter. Fiona was in the front row in the center of the stage, dressed as a ballerina fairy. She wore a lilac tutu with little pink ballet shoes. A pair of silver-sequined fairy wings were attached to the back of her leotard. On her face, she wore a black domino mask dotted with tiny, twinkling rhinestones. Rosebuds and ostrich feathers adorned her fair hair. She stood perfectly still, perfectly poised; in contrast to the other children, who wiggled and squirmed under the hot lights.

Finally the music began; a jaunty little tune about ghosts and goblins. The students began singing in high-pitched, slightly off-tune voices. They shuffled through the simple dance steps they had been practicing for weeks, with two notable exceptions. One, a fairy in a lilac tutu, leapt and spun like a Bolshoi ballerina. The other, a fuzzy teddy bear with a little black nose and painted whiskers, kept slipping and falling, as if dancing on ice. The audience laughed and cheered for the spunky little guy, as every time he went down (in a flurry of furry paws) he got right back up and tried again.

The kindergarten song was almost over. Thinking, perhaps they were in luck that night, Olivia and Myrtle were starting to relax and enjoy the show. Just then, Farley, who had fallen once again, grabbed onto a pumpkin vine to pull himself up. Somehow, his feet became tangled in its leafy embrace. As he tried to free himself, the giant pumpkin began to rock back and forth. The audience gasped, as it broke loose and began to roll slowly and ponderously forward, dragging Farley behind!

The children on the stage screamed as they scattered into the wings and off the sides, herded by a frantic Miss Magooly and the school principal. Unfortunately, Farley was pulled up to the top of the giant pumpkin, as it rolled to the front of the stage and teetered on the edge! Metal folding chairs crashed and collapsed, as the audience struggled to get out of the way! The Bumblestooks and Faires rushed forward to aid their children, desperately shouting out their names.

Suddenly, the ballerina fairy appeared; scampering up a trailing vine to the top of the huge pumpkin. With the agility of a Chinese acrobat, she balanced atop the giant vegetable. Her feet moved swiftly as she began walking forwards, causing the pumpkin to back away from the edge of the stage.

Meanwhile, Farley had managed to untangle his feet and was struggling to stand. For a split second he made it. His arms wind-milled briefly as he fought to stay upright on the moving surface.

Harvey and Myrtle reached the stage and ran to help him; arriving just in time to see him fall over backwards and out of sight! Screaming his name, they ran forward fearing the worst. Suddenly, a thick, leaf-covered vine whipped around in front of them. Looking up, they were amazed to see their son spiraling down the vine, like a fireman on a pole! Quick as a flash he landed, miraculously unharmed, in his mother’s arms!

With the giant pumpkin once again resting against the back stage wall, Fiona slid gracefully down her own vine, landing in front of her parents with an Olympic flourish. Eyeing the pandemonium in the school auditorium, Lance and Olivia firmly grasped their daughter’s hands, backed quietly into the wings and quickly exited the building.

Harvey and Myrtle Bumblestook were not as fortunate. The Principal insisted on having the school nurse check Farley for injury. Other members of the faculty gathered round to express their concern. None of them blamed Farley for the accident. If anything, they blamed themselves; for not securing the pumpkins better, for letting the vines trail on the floor, even for over-polishing the stage floorboards.

All except for Miss Magooly. She stood apart in the shadows offstage, silently watching her colleagues fuss over Farley. She was beginning to understand just how long a school year could be.

******************************

After the disastrous Halloween performance, Miss Magooly decided to sit Farley and Fiona together, at the front of the room, to keep a closer eye on the both of them. To her surprise (and relief) she discovered that far fewer disasters occurred when the two children were together. Seeing this, she devised a plan to save the school year and perhaps her sanity. She called the Bumblestooks and Faires in, for an Emergency Parent Conference.

The kindergarten teacher planned for the meeting carefully. Worn to a frazzle by recent events, she went to some lengths to present a calm and professional exterior. After spending several hours in a day spa (getting a full body massage, a facial, a mani-pedi, her hair done in a smooth, cheerful flip and her make-up applied flawlessly) she felt prepared to confront the parents of her two most troublesome charges.

For their part, the parents entered the kindergarten classroom with tremendous trepidation. They sat (with more than the usual discomfort) in the tiny kindergarten chairs at the tiny kindergarten table. They traded furtive looks of apprehension, as Miss Magooly placed a plate of homemade cookies on the table with a trembling hand. The cookies sported manic smiley-faces in crooked, yellow icing and were burnt about the edges.

“Thank you so-o-o much for coming!” the teacher trilled, standing before them with a wide, welcoming, cheek-cracking smile plastered upon her face. “I’m
so-o-o
glad you could come! Before we get started, I want you all to know how happy I am to have your delightful children in my class. They are just so precious, truly they are. Truly, truly, truly…” Her eyes glazed over and the outermost corners of her smile quivered, as her train of thought momentarily derailed. Then, with a blink of her eyes and a spastic jerk of her head, she recovered. Quickly taking a seat across from them, she perched on the edge and leaned forward, confidentially.

“There’s just this one, teensy-weensy, little problem. It’s nothing much really, but it’s best to nip these things in the bud.”

She turned to address the befuddled Bumblestooks. “I’m sure you are aware of your son’s—well,
tendency
shall we say—to be just a
tad
bit prone to accidents?”

Harvey and Myrtle squirmed uncomfortably in their seats.

“We’ve tried everything!” Myrtle cried out, wringing her hands. “We thought maybe glasses would help, but it turns out he has perfect vision.”

Miss Magooly waved a hand airily. “Not to worry, I have a plan. I have made the most
amazing
discovery, which I’m certain will help
all
of us get through this school year in one piece.
It’s really quite odd, I can’t explain it exactly, but your kids seem to have an unusual bond. Sort of a psychic connection. It’s as if they know what the other is feeling, perhaps even
thinking
!

You see, after the Halloween show, I decided to sit the two of them together, at the front of the room, so I could keep a closer eye on them, and the most remarkable thing happened! Farley began having fewer accidents. In fact, he’s practically
normal
. It’s almost like
magic
!”

Lance and Olivia exchanged startled looks, as she turned toward them.

“My theory is that Fiona
senses
whenever Farley is about to get in trouble, and she steps in to help him. Then,
she’s
so busy keeping an eye on
him
, she doesn’t have time for
her
little stunts.

Please don’t get me wrong,” she added hastily. “I
do
appreciate Fiona’s special talent, but when I see her skipping across the top of the swing set—well, it just about gives me a heart attack! And it’s quite distracting for the other students, when she does double back flips off the top of the bookshelves.”

“We’ve tried to discourage these public displays,” Lance said, spreading his hands apologetically.

Olivia, clenching her hands tightly in front of her on the table, leaned forward tensely to explain. “She’s just so bright, you see. She catches on to things very quickly. Then she gets bored, and when she gets bored, she looks for something to do…”

Miss Magooly reached out and patted her reassuringly. “It’s alright. I understand. Well, I don’t understand
exactly
—actually it’s pretty strange—but that doesn’t matter. It’s all going to work out just fine. We just have to take certain precautions.”

“I don’t know what else we can do!” Harvey exclaimed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. After all, he had already spent Farley’s babyhood living with kooky, inflatable furniture and beanbag chairs.

Miss Magooly leaned in, eyes glittering. “I have the solution. All we have to do is keep them together for as long as they’re in school. We must insist that they are
always
in the same class and they must
always
sit next to each other—on the bus, in class, on field trips, at assemblies—
everywhere
they go. And,
most
importantly, if one of them is absent, the other must stay home as well. In other words, they come to school together or not at all!”

“What?”

“B-but, that’s-”

“Now, wait a minute - “

“I don’t think- ”

Miss Magooly raised her hand to halt their protests. “I realize this is a bit unusual, but believe me, it’s the only way to get the situation under control.”

Abruptly, she leapt to her feet and began to pace back and forth in front of the surprised parents, her voice escalating as she gestured wildly. “You just don’t know what it’s been like—never knowing what’s going to happen next! Farley knocks over the bookshelves, Fiona swings from the light fixture! Farley breaks a window, Fiona climbs up the flagpole! Farley floods the sink, Fiona dances on the top of the jungle gym!”

The frantic teacher began running her fingers through her hair, thoroughly mussing its permed perfection. “I just don’t know what else to do! And what about the
other
students? I’ve got to look out for them too.
I’m
responsible for their safety! What if one of them should get hurt? I could be sued! I–I could lose my job! Or-or
worse
—I could end up in the loony-bin like my Great Aunt Tilly!” She let out a mournful wail and collapsed into her little chair. Flopping forward, she buried her face in her arms on the little table and began sobbing uncontrollably.

For a moment, the Bumblestooks and Faires just sat, dumfounded.

“Oh dear!” Myrtle cried out in distress. “We didn’t mean to cause so much trouble!” She reached out to pat the teacher on the shoulder. “There, there, don’t you worry, Miss Magooly. It’s a wonderful plan, isn’t it, Harvey?”

Miss Magooly looked up hopefully, her professionally applied make-up a teary, smeary mess.

“Er—uh, yeah, sure. Great plan. Just—great.” Harvey Bumblestook pulled at his mustache, obviously uncomfortable with the turn the conference had taken. “Here ya go, miss,” he said, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket. Unfortunately, as it was one of his magic props, a seemingly endless string of colorful squares emerged. “Oops—er, sorry,” he mumbled apologetically, as his wife glared at him and Miss Magooly launched into a fresh round of sobs.

“Now, now, Miss Magooly. Everything will be fine. I’m sure we can work something out. Isn’t that right, dear?” Lance said soothingly, plucking a single, elegant, silk handkerchief from his breast pocket and offering it to the distraught teacher.

“Of course. You can count on us,” Olivia replied, less than enthusiastically.

Miss Magooly put the handkerchief to her nose and gave a great, big, honking blow.

“Thank you, oh thank you!” she gushed. “Please forgive me. I didn’t mean to get so emotional. You just don’t know how much this means to me. I’ve been so on edge…”