Bumblestook: Book 1, The Accidental Wizard (8 page)

“I know a thing or two about Magic.”

“I knew it!” Harvey said, pumping the other man’s hand enthusiastically. “We’re in the same line, you and I. I work for Gaffington’s. Maybe you’ve heard of ‘em? You know—magic tricks and gag gifts? Finest magic tricks available on the market, if I do say so myself.”

“Certainly, certainly. Fine products those tricks.”

“Use ‘em yourself, do ya?”

“No.”

“Ah! Like to make your own, eh?”

“You might say that.”

“Care to show us a trick or two? Seein’ as how we’re in the same line of work, so to speak.”

Olivia, entering the kitchen in time to hear this request, gasped. “Oh no!
Really
, Uncle Bartholeumous, you are shameless! He just takes any opportunity to do those silly old magic tricks. You know—Nickel-behind-the-ear, Rabbit-in-the-hat, Pick-a-card-any-card…”

“Oh! But we just
love
magic tricks, don’t we Harvey?” Myrtle, arriving just behind Olivia, gushed. “Little Farley here is
fascinated
by them, aren’t you dear?”

“I daresay he is,” Bartholeumous remarked, looking keenly at the little boy. “Would you like to see some
Real Magic
?” he asked, seriously.

Farley nodded eagerly. “Yes, please, Mister Bartholymoose.”

“Perhaps later,” Olivia interrupted hastily. “Lance, the Bumblestooks have come to ask us something
very important
. Why don’t we go into the living room to talk.
Privately
?”

“Excellent idea!” Lance replied. “The children can stay here with, er—Uncle Bartholeumous.”

Together, Lance and Olivia hustled Harvey and Myrtle out of the kitchen.

Once they had gone, Bartholeumous, eyes a-twinkle, bent down to address the children. “Now, what do you say we go into the garden and do some Magic? Would you like that?”

The children responded enthusiastically; jumping up and down, clapping their hands and shouting, “Yes, yes!”

They followed him, quite willingly, out the back door.

In the front room, the Bumblestooks sat stiffly on the edge of the sofa. Lance and Olivia, sitting in chairs across from them, couldn’t help but notice their guests’ discomfort.

“What now?”
Olivia thought to herself, watching Myrtle clasp her hands tightly while Harvey patted his thick mustache nervously. Whatever it was, they seemed reluctant to begin.

“Guys, we’ve known each other for over five years. Whatever the problem is, we can deal with it,” Lance coaxed.

“It’s not like that,” Harvey said. “We’ve got kind-of a huge favor to ask.”

Myrtle reached out to take her husband’s hand. “We talked it over after the Parent Conference. We sort of guessed it before, but Miss Magooly confirmed it. Farley really
does
have fewer accidents when he’s around Fiona. We don’t understand it, but that’s how it is.”

Olivia sighed. “ I suppose that’s true, for whatever reason. And apparently Farley helps Fiona stay
grounded
. But, we’ve already agreed to send the kids to school together or not at all,” Olivia replied (somewhat impatiently as she couldn’t help but think of “Uncle” Bartholeumous in the kitchen with the children). “It’s a bit of a bother, but we can make it work. Don’t give it another thought.”

“It’s not school we’re worried about—” Harvey began.

“It’s what would happen to Farley, should anything happen to
us
. You know—if we were to-to—” Myrtle, overcome with emotion, was unable to go on.

“Ya see, what we were thinkin’ is, we’d like to ask the two of you to be Farley’s godparents. That way, we’d know he’d be okay—if for some reason we weren’t around to take care of him, ya know what I mean?” Harvey blew heavily through his thick mustache, obviously relieved to have it said. “Well, that’s the gist of it, as it were! Ya don’t hafta say yes ’r no right away. We understand if ya wanna take a little time to think about it, seein’ as how we just sorta sprung it on ya and all.”

“Well! I— er— that is—
we
—”

“Ah-h, h-m-m, we-uh—
h-m-m
—”

Just then, they heard a high whistling sound, followed by a series of loud popping noises. It was coming from the back of the house! As one, the parents leapt to their feet and ran into the kitchen. To their surprise, it was empty! Their attention was immediately drawn to the window, through which could be seen multi-colored explosions of light over the garden.

They dashed through the back door and into the yard, only to be enveloped by a cloud of dark, purple smoke, so dense they could barely see a foot in front of their faces! Lance and Olivia stumbled to a halt, as they completely lost their sense of direction. Harvey and Myrtle (a split second behind) promptly plowed right into them. Uncertain as to which way to proceed, the parents stood together in a tight clump, peering into the fog.

“What
is
this stuff?” Myrtle asked, a bemused expression settling on her face as tendrils of the thick mist reached out with foggy fingers; softly brushing her cheeks. “It reminds me of my grandmother. She was
so
kind…” Her voice faded away, as a dreamy look came into her eyes.

“Y’know, it smells like fresh-baked cookies. Chocolate chip, still warm from the oven!” Harvey mused wonderingly, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply.

Lance and Olivia looked at the other couple, then at each other in sudden understanding.

“Euphoria!” they exclaimed together.

Lance tugged on Harvey’s arm. “Come on, Harvey. It’s just one of Uncle’s magic tricks. Let’s move along, shall we?”

Olivia grabbed Myrtle by the shoulders and gave her an energetic shake. “Snap out of it! We’ve got to find the kids, remember?”

As if on cue, from somewhere just ahead they heard childlike laughter and giggles, accompanied by more of the strange whistling and popping noises. The Bumblestooks shook their heads and stumbled forward, as Lance and Olivia grasped them firmly and led them in the direction of the sounds.

Suddenly, they stepped free of the ground-hugging cloud and promptly piled into each other again. They found themselves in the backyard, near the entrance to the garden. In the sky above, small clusters of fireflies flitted about; leaving behind a mysterious glowing script that faded before it could be deciphered. Shiny bubbles, shimmering with rainbow color, spiraled up into the sky with merry, whistling sounds; whereupon they burst, with a loud, wet “pop”, creating showers of twinkling, rainbow-colored lights.

The Faires rushed toward the garden entrance, followed by the befuddled Bumblestooks. After stumbling through the arbor, Harvey and Myrtle came to an abrupt halt, staring slack-jawed at the scene before them.

Bartholeumous (the Bold) stood in the center of the garden next to the fountain. He now wore a long, flowing, black cloak, which flashed a rich, purple, silk lining as it swirled about with a life of its own. In one hand, he held a thin, tapered, ebony wand, which he waved about with the flourish of a conductor. Beside him, the head of the carved, stone sea serpent, swept up, down, back and forth; bubbles spilling forth from its smiling mouth. The basin of the fountain was filled with the sparkling spheres, which rose into the air with a sweep of the magician’s hand.

And
then
there were the rabbits! Now, rabbits and magicians go together like—well, magicians and rabbits! But the rabbits in the garden were not the usual plump, white, fluffy variety. No show bunnies, these! They were, in fact,
jack
rabbits; those lean, long-eared, long-legged members of the rabbit family. Their coats were dusty, as if they had just arrived from the desert and their black eyes glittered with feral delight. There were at least a dozen of them, all in pairs, as if partnered for a dance. Indeed, they looked as if they
were
dancing, as they stood on their hind legs and leapt high into the air with wild abandon! The two children jumped up and down as well, mimicking the dance of the rabbits; laughing merrily as they tried to touch the ascending bubbles.

“Lance, is-is that fountain dragon thingy m-moving?” Harvey finally managed to ask.

“Come on, Harvey! It’s just a lot of silly old magic tricks. Smoke and mirrors and—er, other—stuff.”

“How does he do that? With the rabbits,” Myrtle whispered in awe.

“Did I forget to mention—he’s
also
an animal trainer. Does commercial work—for Hollywood, no less!” said Olivia. Abruptly, she turned and strode down the cobblestone path, sending the rabbits skitter-scattering out of her way. She stopped in front of the magician and confronted him, hands on hips.

“
Uncle
Bartholeumous,
what
were you thinking?” she scolded.

The magician’s wand stopped in mid-stroke, as he paused to take in the situation. The fireflies flew off, the bubbles floated away, the sea serpent froze and the rabbits all disappeared into the bushes.

“I was thinking that a little Magic Show would keep the children entertained, while their parents were busy,” Bartholeumous replied evenly. He lowered the wand and cocked his head toward Farley and Fiona, still playing at being jackrabbits.

“Ya call that a
little
Magic Show? I’d sure like t’see one-a your
big
ones!” Harvey raved, as he rushed into the garden. “Hey, ya wouldn’t wanna share some of your secrets with a fellow aficionado, wouldja?” he asked hopefully; sighing as Bartholeumous chuckled and shook his head. “Didn’t think so. Us Magicians like to keep our secrets. Sure would like t’know how ya pulled off that trick with the fountain though,” he said, as he bent to examine the stone sea serpent .

“That was some show, Mr. Bartholeumous,” Myrtle said, as she and Lance joined the others. “But I think that purple fog left me feeling a little funny—like I’m walking on air.”

“Euphoria has that effect on some. Do not worry. It is perfectly harmless.”

Farley ran up and began tugging excitedly on his mother’s sleeve.

“Mommy! Mommy! I’m gonna be a great Wizard someday! Mr. Bartholymoose says so!”

Myrtle smiled down at her son’s beaming face. “Isn’t that nice. I’m sure you’ll make a fine magician. That’s very kind of you to take the trouble to encourage him, Mr. Bartholeumous.”

“No trouble at all. Bumblestook here is a natural. Of course, he will need the proper training—”

“Yes,
well
! I think we’ve had enough magic for today,” Olivia interrupted. “We were in the middle of something
very important
when we were interrupted.”

“Perhaps it would be best if we all went back into the house,” Lance suggested.

Harvey and Myrtle (looking crestfallen as they were reminded of the serious nature of their visit) started to head back down the path.

“One moment!” Bartholeumous spoke in a Compelling Voice, causing everyone (including the squirrels in the trees and the unseen insects in the grass) to freeze in their tracks. “I have one last bit of Magic to perform. A gift—” he said, raising his arms with a flourish, “for Bumblestook the Great, Future Wizard Extraordinaire!”

Poof! A cloud of blue smoke appeared in front of him, billowing up from the edges of his flowing black cloak. When it cleared, a small white creature cowered there.

“
I
know how he did
that
one,” Harvey said smugly, nudging his wife.

“But, what is it?” Myrtle asked, taking a couple cautious steps forward.

The creature lifted its head at her approach, perhaps sensing her fondness for small animals.

“Oh, it’s a puppy!” she cried out in delight. “A little American Eskimo pup. How precious!”

“Familiar with them, are you?” Bartholeumous asked, as if unaware of Myrtle’s passion for puppies.

“Oh yes! They’re really smart little dogs. Used to be seen all the time in circuses. And don’t let the small size fool you—they’re as brave as lions. Plus, they’re
extremely
loyal.”

“Exactly right, my dear woman!” Bartholeumous boomed. “It is those very qualities which make this creature a perfect companion for your son. It will watch over him like a hawk and fiercely defend him from his enemies!”

“Enemies?” Myrtle stopped short. “I wasn’t aware he had any—”

“Hypothetically speaking, of course.”

“Oh, of course.”

“Can I keep ’im mom, can I please, huh? Pleazopleazoplease?” Farley tugged at his mother’s sleeve, popping up and down like a jumping bean.

“What do you think, Harvey?”

“Well, I think our little Farley here’s old enough to have a pet. And you’re right about that enemy stuff, Mr. Bartholeumous. Can’t be too careful nowadays.”

“Whoo-hoo! I’m gonna have a puppy, I’m gonna have a puppy!” Farley sang out and danced about.

Olivia sidled up to get a good look at the animal, eyeing it with suspicion. At a signal from Bartholeumous, it stood, watching him expectantly.

It did appear to be of that breed, fondly called Eskies by their indulgent owners. It was probably just a trick of the light that the standard all-white coat sparkled, as if sprinkled with diamond dust. It had the same fox-like face and shiny, dark eyes (a bit larger than usual) with lids outlined in black. The lips (thin, and black as licorice whips) curled up in a smile that was almost Human. Its little black nose was that of an Eskie, though perhaps the muzzle was a bit shorter and more upturned at the end. It had the usual triangular ears perched high atop its head, though they were a bit longer and larger, as well. After all, even dogs of the same breed exhibit
some
differences in their characteristics. If it weren’t for that tail—