Bumblestook: Book 1, The Accidental Wizard (2 page)

For a moment, they stood close together, beneath the flowered arbor. The woman was sapling slim, with white-blonde hair so fine it flew in the slightest of breezes. Her eyes were a deep, sparkling ultramarine - blue, in a face like flawless porcelain. The couple glanced tenderly at the tiny infant, lying safe and secure in her mother’s arms.

“So small, and yet so perfect,” the mother whispered, her warm breath caressing the baby’s cheek, her perfume tickling the baby’s nose. “Like the lilies-of-the-valley, with their delicate, perfectly shaped, little bells.”

The father reached out to touch one of the baby’s clenched fists. As the tiny hand opened and grasped his finger tightly, he chuckled.

“She
looks
like a delicate flower, but she’s got the grip of a tiger!”

“Even tiger cubs need protection,” the woman replied fiercely.

“Deep breaths,” her husband responded. “Just stay calm and stick to the plan.”

A sound like that of dry, rustling leaves drew their attention to a far corner of the garden, where a large, dark shape had suddenly appeared, suspended in midair. It rotated as it descended slowly to the ground. Upon touching down, it ceased spinning; revealing a large figure, covered head to toe in a long, dark, hooded cloak. The figure advanced, its voluminous cloak billowing and snapping in a mysterious wind. It came to a halt when it reached the fountain.

Although the center of the garden was well lit by lanterns and the silvery glow of twilight, the figure remained in shadow, cloaked in dense grey fog. The silhouette was large and broad-shouldered. The features were impossible to determine, but two small flames of electric-blue fire flickered in the space usually occupied by eyes.

The enigmatic entity waved one large hand over the fountain and the water began to glow with cool, green light. The scales of the carved sea serpent glowed as well and its stone eyes gleamed wickedly, as if alive. The enveloping fog was banished by the eerie illumination and the figure was revealed to be a man in a long, hooded cloak. As the hood fell back, dark, wavy hair sprang forward; framing his face before falling about his shoulders and down his back. A thick mustache curled about the sides of his mouth; blending into the full beard that covered his barrel-like chest. The face was large, intelligent, broad of cheek and forehead. Dark eyes, deep-set ’neath wild, bushy, untamed brows; now flickered with twin flames of green fire.

“It is time,” he announced, in a voice low and deep as an earthquake’s grumble.

The husband put an arm protectively about his wife’s shoulders, drawing the mother and child closer. Together they walked slowly to the fountain and stood facing the man who had summoned them.

The bearded one turned to the father. “How is she to be called?” he asked.

“Fiona Faire,” the father replied.

The mysterious man merely nodded. He made a circular motion, first with one large hand, then the other, over the green water of the fountain.

“Mighty Osheanna, Ruler of the Deep, Mistress of the Shallows and all that lies between. Arise and Attend. Let the Naming Ceremony begin!”

The great head turned to focus on the mother. “I require a strand of the child’s hair.”

“We are prepared,” she answered, raising her chin defiantly and returning his intense gaze with one of her own. She nudged her husband in the ribs with an elbow.

Clearing his throat, the baby’s father reached into his vest pocket; withdrawing a small, white handkerchief, edged with fine lace. He offered it to the formidable figure across the fountain.

The dainty handkerchief floated to the ground, as the bearded man withdrew a wisp of fine hair with his thick fingers. The hair shone silver in the moonlight, as he held it over the fountain. He released it, whereupon it spiraled swiftly down toward the green water. Upon contact, shimmering golden rings rippled outwards from its tip; splashing against the stone sea serpent. The golden color raced up the serpent’s coiled body to its head. The eyes flashed with golden sparks. The water, gushing from its open mouth, changed from green to a golden stream.

The bearded man leaned forward, twin golden flames now dancing in his eyes. He stirred the water around the floating strand of hair with one large finger as he chanted.

“Mighty Osheanna, accept this token from the one called Fiona Faire. Carry it deep into the waters that run beneath the Earth. By its signature shall you know her. Wherever she walks upon the earth, let your power flow beneath her feet. Whenever she travels upon the water, let your power surround her and renew her strength.”

The hair dissolved as the golden water boiled in response.

The man looked into the parents’ anxious eyes. “She is now a part of the Great Water. From this day forward, its power to protect and heal will keep her from serious harm. The first part of the ceremony, the Naming, is complete.” He waved a large hand over the water, which became calm.

“It is now time for the second part of the ceremony, the Gifting. To each of The People is bequeathed one gift of power. I will now consult the Great Water, to discover the exact nature of the Gift.”

Once again he stirred the water, while chanting in a low, rumbling voice. “Mighty Osheanna, we bow to your wisdom. Having accepted and examined the token, tell us—what is the greatest weakness you have found in the child you now know as Fiona Faire?”

Silver swirls appeared in the water. As the bearded man gazed into them, a series of images flashed by; mirrored in the flickering, silver flames dancing in his eyes. He straightened suddenly, tugging at his beard and frowning as if perplexed.

“It seems your daughter is afflicted with a terrible clumsiness,” he said. “It is quite severe, perhaps even life-threatening, were it not for the protection of the Great Water. I must confess, I have never seen its like. And I regret to inform you that she is not blessed with beauty. Is it possible she has been cursed?”

“Absolutely not!” the child’s mother said indignantly. “We are well aware of the risks to newborns before the Ceremony!”

“We took every precaution,” the father added. “The house is completely warded and all of her possessions are locked away in a Keep-Safe box. I assure you, there is no way a curse could have gotten through.”

The bearded man shook his great head. “It is a conundrum. On the one hand, the Great Water will prevent any
serious
injury she might receive as a result of her clumsiness
and
will help to heal the minor ones—in which case I am tempted to give her Great and Compelling Beauty. On the other hand, of what use is Great Beauty if she is constantly tripping and falling over her own feet? I fear she would become naught but a laughingstock. Thus, I am convinced it is the clumsiness we need to address. Dip her feet into the water,” he instructed the mother.

The woman raised an eyebrow and looked to her husband, who nodded encouragingly and nudged her forward. Gently folding back the blanket to uncover the child’s feet, she held the baby so that her tiny toes just barely touched the water.

“Serpent’s tooth, woman! The water will not harm her! Dip her feet, and be quick about it!” The bearded man spoke in a voice that was not to be disobeyed.

The mother sniffed and tossed her head, but did as she was told.

The bearded man placed both of his hands in the water, softly cradling the baby’s feet.

“Fiona Faire, by the power of the Great Water that flows within my veins, I do grant thee the Gift of Extraordinary Balance and Grace.”

Once again the water changed. This time, it glowed pink and foamed softly about the tiny feet. She cooed and kicked, splashing pink bubbles onto the man’s beard. For the first time, his face softened and he chuckled.

“Great Beauty is not all that it is cracked up to be. I predict that one day you will dazzle one and all with your fancy footwork.” The water turned clear as he withdrew his hands which, oddly enough, were dry. “The Gifting is complete. We will now proceed to the third and final part of the ceremony—the Telling.”

The mother hastily withdrew the child’s feet and stepped back to stand close by her husband’s side. They stood together stiffly, apprehension stamped plainly upon their faces.

The bearded man eyed them curiously. “I find your behavior most peculiar,” he said. “I shouldn’t have to remind
you
, of
all
people, that it is the Telling that reveals to us which of our children are destined to become the Heroes of our people. I find it extremely odd that the great Lancelot and Olivia Faire, whose heroic adventures are legendary, should not welcome this ceremony. Practically from the moment of your births you were singled out for special training, with the sole purpose of preparing you to fulfill your destinies.”

The father cleared his throat and spoke quickly. “It’s not that we aren’t
grateful
—we just weren’t expecting a Wizard of your, er,
stature
to be assigned to
our
Naming Ceremony. Especially since we’re all the way out here in the boondocks. We thought it would be someone with less experience—an apprentice or some such. Frankly, we’re not sure what we’ve done to
deserve
such treatment. I mean, of course it’s
quite
an honor and I assure you, we are
quite
looking forward to finding out how our little Fiona will be serving our people.
Quite
looking forward to it, aren’t we dear?”

“Quite,” his wife replied, somewhat dryly.

“Hmmmm” the bearded one said, eyes narrowing. “Then let us get on with it. Have you brought the Cherished Possession?”

The father nodded, hesitantly bringing forth an object from his pants pocket. The bearded man reached out to take it, eyeing it disapprovingly.

“Harrumph! Everything is plastic these days,” he said, looking at the little, blue, elephant-shaped rattle lying in his open palm. “I seem to recall
your
Cherished Possession, Lance. A Crimson Dragon’s-tooth pendant, was it not? And
yours
Olivia, an ivory puzzle-ball, carved from the tusk of the last mastodon.” The parents squirmed with embarrassment as the man shook his great mane. “Ah well, it will do. It will do.”

He dipped the rattle in the water, intoning once again. “Mighty Osheanna, tell us what part the owner of this—
object
is destined to play in The Great Story of The People.”

The water of the fountain (which had gone from clear, to green, to gold, to silver swirls and soft, bubbly-pink foam) now turned a thick, grayish-brown color, best described as “murky”.

The bearded man peered and squinted and eyed it from various angles. Finally, he looked down at the water perplexedly.

“Most peculiar,” he said, tugging at his beard. “Her future is not clear to me.”

The parents, who had been holding their breath, let it out together in a long, ragged sigh.

“What will you do now?” the father asked.

“Nothing at the moment,” the man replied, eying them sharply. “Some other force seems to be at work here. I shall have to consult my peers. This could take awhile. Everyone is busy now-days.” He tucked the rattle into a pocket inside his cloak. “I will have to take the Cherished Possession, of course.”

“B-b-but it belongs to—I mean, it’s her favorite—” the father protested.

“Get her another. Surely there are thousands of plastic thing-a-ma-bobs equally
unique.
This one is evidence of unexplained phenomena and as such must be taken into custody,” the man growled.

“Absolutely! We understand completely, don’t we dear?” The mother broke in hurriedly, shooting her husband an anxious look.

“Y-yes, of
course
we can get another one. I’m just a little
rattled
—no pun intended.” The father laughed nervously.

“We are done—for now,” the bearded man said coldly, peering suspiciously at the couple from beneath his bushy brows. “Something is definitely odd here. Be assured that I will be checking on the child’s progress. In a few years, I will administer another test but until then I will be looking in from time, to time to see that all is as it should be. Be prepared to report anything unusual.”

Reaching into his cloak, he brought something out, hidden inside his huge hand. He leaned forward to peer into the baby’s face. “I must apologize, little one. I have failed to see what the future holds for you,
and
I have taken your Most Cherished Possession.”

Fiona looked straight at him with clear, unblinking eyes, as he opened his hand to reveal a large, multifaceted, teardrop crystal strung on a golden cord. He held it so that it dangled, shimmering with rainbow colors, in the moonlight. The baby cooed and reached for the sparkly object.

“This is yours, child, in exchange for the rattle. I think you will find that you got the better part of the bargain.” He handed the crystal to the father, entrusting it to his care. “Hang this above the child’s bed,” he instructed. “It is something of a good luck charm.”

Once again, he waved his hands over the water. “The Naming Ceremony is now complete. Let the Great Waters recede and the waters of this fountain be restored. Farewell, Mighty Osheanna, til’ we meet again on your mighty shores.”