Bruises of the Heart (13 page)

"It's okay. You can tell me anything," he said, rubbing my back.

"Once all of this mess is over tomorrow, I'm not going to be ready to date anyone."

"Tori, I'm not expecting us to pick back up where we were before, but I'm not interested in dating anyone else, either. I just want to be your friend, and when you're ready to make it something more, then I'll be here." He spoke tenderly.

"Thanks for being my friend. I have a feeling that I'm going to need that more than anything else for a while."

"Anything for you, Tori."

I barely slept that night, and I was so nervous I couldn't eat anything for breakfast. Add all of that to the concerned looks I kept getting from my mom and I was about to snap like a rubber band stretched too tight. It was almost a relief to be able to get into Tara's car and head to school. My stomach was tied in knots and I felt like I was on the verge of tears.

"I made some phone calls last night. I told everyone that things weren't going well and that you were probably going to end it soon," Tara volunteered after a few minutes.

"Did anyone want details?" I asked.

"They all did. I told them that you were feeling very stifled and that you needed time to just get your feelings sorted out."

"Nice. Just enough truth to make it all believable. I hope nothing happens, but if it does, you need to promise me that you won't get in the middle of it. I don't want you to get hurt," I said, staring out the window.

"Victoria, nothing is going to happen, and if it does, do you honestly think that I would leave you alone to handle it all? I'm the youngest of four and the only girl. I've learned a thing or two over the years from my brothers. I'm not the one you should worry about."

I flashed a brief smile, then realized we were pulling into the student lot. I began scanning the cars, hoping I wouldn't see the shiny black one, but there it was on the far side of the lot. Will was leaning against the side, looking very dark and foreboding.

My vision of him was obscured as Tara pulled into a space beside what I quickly realized was Noah's truck. He got out as we came to a stop and opened my door. I hesitated for only a moment before getting out and allowing him to squeeze my hand. Tara came around to join us and gave me a sympathetic grin.

"Are you okay? Do you want me to walk over there with you?" she asked.

"No, stay here. If you come, he might not take me seriously. I feel like I'm going to throw up." I groaned.

"It's going to be okay, Tori. We're right here and we aren't going anywhere unless you're with us," Noah said, giving my hand another squeeze.

"Okay," I said, taking a deep breath. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Taking that first step toward Will was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. I wanted to turn around and run the other way for as long as I could, but I forced myself to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Will straightened up when I came closer, then he smiled and stretched his hand to take mine, but I stopped just out of reach and he let it drop. I saw a hardness enter his eyes and I dropped my gaze to the ground.

"We need to talk," I began.

"I know. I'm so sorry about Saturday. It's just that I was so on edge because of my dad and I took it out on you. I really am sorry. Didn't you get any of my messages?" he asked, his jaw clenching.

"I listened to some of them. My phone has actually been off since Saturday night. But that isn't what I wanted to talk about." He took a step toward me, but I didn't really see him. I was too busy trying to get up the courage to say what I needed to say.

"You can tell me anything, Victoria. You should know that," he said, reaching out to stroke my cheek.

I flinched away from him, then looked into his face. "I
…
I can't see you anymore," I managed to get out in a strangled voice.

"Excuse me?" he said, grabbing me by the chin. "Is this your idea, or someone else's?" He looked over my shoulder.

"Mine. You're not
…
nice to me, and I'm tired of being the one you take your frustrations out on," I said with more conviction than I was feeling.

"I don't think this is what you want," he said, moving his hand from my chin back along my jaw in a caressing sweep. "I think those so-called friends talked you into this. And I've told you before how I feel about you listening to them and hanging out with some of those people. You know how much I love you, and that no one would ever love you like I do." He grabbed me by the back of my neck in a painful grip.

"You're hurting me," I confessed, even though I wanted to be strong.

"I know, and I'm sorry about that, but you're hurting me right now. I told you that I would never let you go. You should think about that before you do something stupid that you'll regret," he said, sounding angrier with every word he spoke.

"Please let go," I said, getting scared and trying to turn my head to see who was close.

"This isn't over. We'll talk again soon, Victoria. You're mine, no one else's," he said through clenched teeth before pushing me away from him. Will got into his car and, with tires squealing, sped out of the parking lot, gaining a lot of stares on his way.

It was only a moment before Tara and Noah stood next to me. They wore identical expressions of concern and anxiety, and I was shaking.

"C'mon. Let's go before we're late," Noah said, pulling me toward school. "I guess he didn't take it very well if he left like he did."

"No, he didn't," I said. Then I told them both what Will had said. "I don't think he considers this a breakup. He said we'd talk again later. What am I going to do now?"

"He'll figure it out when you don't call or acknowledge him, and if he doesn't, then maybe I'll have a talk with him," Noah said in a hard voice.

"He's never going to let me go, is he?" I asked, heading toward all-out panic.

Noah pulled me into a space between the row of lockers and Tara blocked us from the view of those hurrying past. "Tori, you need to calm down. He isn't going to come back today. I told you last night that I'm here for as long as you want me around, in whatever capacity you need or want. Now take a deep breath and go to class with Tara. One or both of us will be with you all day, so there is no reason to be scared or nervous. Tara will drive you home after school and stay until your mom comes home. It's no big deal," Noah confidently informed me.

"Easy for you to say," I grumbled and stepped out into the hallway.

"Yeah, it is, but now you're getting mad and you forgot to be afraid, so I accomplished my mission," he said, giving me a heart-stopping smile. Then he was swallowed up by the crowd in the hall making their way to first period classes.

I followed Tara down the hallway and into our first class. I slid into my desk and kept my focus on the top of it. My mind felt frozen, but oddly aware of everything around me. I knew some conversations had immediately dropped to lower levels when I 'd walked in the room.

I could tell Tara was listening to everything she could, mostly because she wasn't talking. I knew she wanted to know how well her pre-placed gossip had worked. I was also quite sure she would tell me everything at the earliest opportunity.

I was too nervous to pay attention to whatever it was Mr. Holmes was talking about. I began wondering what Will was doing and why he had left. It was probably foolish to try and figure him out after not being able to for the last several months, but I couldn't help myself.

The bell rang, and with great relief I got up and went with Tara to our next class. I was anxious until we entered the room and I saw Noah sitting there, watching the door. His smile was one of relief and happiness to see me. I felt my mouth respond automatically and I didn't waste time trying to figure out why. I still couldn't pay attention to what was going on in class, but it was nice not to worry about what I was feeling for Noah.

I began to relax a little as the day went on, and by the end of the day I was feeling much more at ease. Noah met Tara and I at our lockers and we all walked out to the student lot together, my eyes automatically scanning the cars.

"He isn't here, so you girls should be okay to go home," Noah said. Apparently, I wasn't the only one looking the parking lot over.

I silently got into Tara's car, then Noah knocked on the widow. I rolled it down to hear what he had to say. "Call me later. In fact, call me when you get home so I know you got there okay."

"I will," I replied.

Tara pulled out of the lot and started on her way to my house. I couldn't help but look out the back to see if there was a shiny black car there.

"Relax. He isn't going to do anything where there might be a witness. And I can also tell you that by the way Noah was acting before we left, he was resisting the urge to follow us the whole way to the cabin," Tara smugly told me.

"What are you talking about? All of this is his plan. Why would he want to follow me home?" I wondered.

"I don't know. Why did I have to hold him back this morning when Will grabbed you by the neck?" she asked dryly.

"You what…?" I asked, surprised.

"I haven't told you anything all day because you were so relaxed and happy-looking. I didn't want to stress you out again. Not that it's anything bad, but I didn't want to risk it," she said. "It's been a while since I've seen a genuine smile. I'm sorry I didn't notice anything earlier. Maybe you wouldn't have gone through all of this if I had."

"I'm not sure I would have listened to anything you had to say. I excused everything he did as not his fault. I blamed his father and even myself for saying the wrong thing or looking at the wrong person. Pathetic, I know." I grimaced out the window.

"Not pathetic. You were vulnerable, and we were all taken in by him. And why wouldn't we be? He was the most interesting thing that was happening in Centerville at the time."

We pulled to a stop in front of the cabin and I got out, looking around. I unlocked the door, then relocked it once we were both inside and went to check the back door as well. Then I called Noah.

Tara and I sat down on the couch, pulled books out of our bags, and did our homework together. It was a good thing, too, because I hadn't been aware enough to write down my assignment or pay attention in class when everything had been explained.

I felt happy and more at ease than I had in months, but I was hesitant to accept it all. I was afraid it was all a house of cards
—
one wrong move and it would fall down around me.

The house phone rang and, without thinking about it, I got up and went to answer it. "Hello?"

"Hello, Victoria," a subdued voice replied.

I felt my stomach instantly knot up and the blood drain from my face. Tara's smile left her face when she saw mine. She mouthed the name Will, and I nodded my head.

"What? Aren't you going to greet your boyfriend? I left you alone all day so that you could get your head on straight." His voice sounded cheerful, but with a hard edge.

"What are you doing calling me?"

"Since I know you didn't mean what you said this morning, I've decided to let you apologize for doubting me, but only if you agree not to talk to those friends of yours again. They aren't good for you, Victoria, and in time you'll see that I'm right," Will said rather calmly.

I was suddenly seething inside. Usually I would be agreeing with him to avoid any kind of argument, because disagreeing with him usually led to some kind of bruise for me. Strangely enough, this time I wanted to tell him exactly what I thought and it didn't worry me at all.

"I'm not going to be apologizing. I meant every word that I said this morning and I would appreciate you not calling me anymore," I said with a steady voice.

"Are you actually serious? But no one will ever love you like I do, and you have to believe that," he said emphatically, but I could still hear the anger.

"Yes, I'm serious. Don't call me, don't talk to me, and don't come near me again. Goodbye," I said, hanging up the phone on what I was sure was going to be an angry tirade.

I took a deep breath and felt at peace for the first time in a long time. I reveled in the feeling and the freedom it brought. The fear and uncertainty that had been my constant companions for the last several months were, for the most part, gone.

I sat back down on the couch next to Tara. "So," she said, stretching the word out. "What did he have to say? What's going on? Spill!" Tara said with her eyes dancing.

I told Tara everything he'd told me, and she was appropriately outraged in all the right parts and was very happy with how I had stood up to Will. It felt like old times,
sitting there talking with one another. I had missed her.

My mom came home. I unlocked the door when I heard her truck pull up out front. Tara was packing her things up to go home.

"Well hello, girls. Leaving so soon, Tara? I'm not driving you out, I hope," my mom said.

"No, Mrs. Williams, it's time for me to go. I'll see you tomorrow, Victoria. Bye, Mrs. Williams." She waved on her way out of the door.

I waved and smiled at her as she pulled away, then went back into the house, closing and locking the door as I did so. I turned around to see my mom looking at me strangely, but she didn't say anything, to my great relief. I gathered all my school stuff up and took it to my room. I looked at my cell phone sitting on my bedside table where it had been for the past few days. I contemplated turning it back on, but decided not to.