Broken World (Book 3): Mad World (17 page)

My gaze lands on Jon and I shudder. No, not all of us.

***

Everyone seems to be gathered in the common area when we finally make it inside. Hadley is on the couch, still dirty, and Parvarti is with her. Crying. My already damaged heart cracks a little more. With everything else going on, I’d forgotten about Trey.

Lexi stands off to the side, leaning against the wall. She should get a shower. She isn’t any cleaner than the last time I saw her. Her eyes meet mine and she smiles, but it’s shaky. How long was she at that hotel before we got there? How much did she have to endure before she got too dirty and smelly for the men to want her? I don’t think I want to know.

“Do you need me to look at those cuts?”

Joshua’s voice slices through my thoughts. I tear my eyes away from Lexi and look down at my legs. They’re filthy. Streaked in blood and dirt. I’d forgotten all about the cuts, but I have no clue how. They throb, but they’re just little cuts. Do they really need a doctor? I have no idea.

“I don’t know,” I mumble.

Axl’s arm goes around my waist, and I lean my head on his shoulder. My legs wobble.

“We should get ‘em clean.”

I nod, but I don’t want to go to the clinic. All I want to do is take a shower and crawl into bed with Axl. And never leave the shelter again. The outside world is too crazy. Everyone has gone insane.

“I’m going to shower,” I say. “I’ll let you know if I need you to look at them. But tomorrow. Not tonight. I’m just too tired.”

Axl’s arm tightens around my waist when he leads me toward the elevator.

My fingertips brush Hadley’s shoulder when I go by, and she nods. “I’ll be there soon.”

***

Axl and I strip, then toss our clothes in a pile on the floor while the bathroom fills with steam. They’re going to be trash, anyway. They’re covered in zombie guts.

I step into the shower and sigh when hot water runs over me. Down my face and hair, over my shoulders and breasts. Stinging the cuts on my legs. Axl is right here, his hands following the water’s path. His fingertips brush against the cuts. He kisses them. The one on my right calf, another right behind my left knee. The one on my inner thigh. I run my fingers through his hair as his lips moves back up my body, burning my skin.

“Don’t ever leave me again,” he says, running his lips up my neck.

“Never,” I whisper.

Our lips meet. His tongue sweeps over my mouth, and I open to him. His hands move down my spine and over my ass. He lifts me up and I wrap my legs his waist, pressing my back against the wall. The tile feels cold against my skin. I gasp when he slides inside me. My hands tangle in his hair as he starts to move. His mouth slides down, kissing a hot trail over my neck.

“Axl,” I say between gasps. “I love you. I’ve never loved anyone else.”

He thrusts harder. My legs tighten around his waist. His mouth covers mine, and his kiss is more than confirmation that he feels the same way.

“I love you,” he says against my lips.

***

My stomach growls. The bed is soft and warm and I don’t want to get up, but I’m starving.

Axl is asleep with his arm draped over my waist. That’s a first. I don’t want to wake him, so I gingerly roll towards the edge of the bed. His hand slides across my body as I move, and when it flops onto the mattress, I hold my breath and wait for him to wake up. He doesn’t stir.

I slide out of bed and pull some clothes from the dresser. Underwear and another dress that doesn’t cover much. It seems to be the only thing in this condo. After my time at the casino, I’m not very anxious to wear revealing clothes. Give me a turtleneck and jeans.

I step into the hall and gently ease the door shut behind me. I’ve only taken two steps when voices freeze me in my tracks. It’s almost two o’clock in the morning. Why is Hadley up? And who’s she talking to? Lexi? I pause and listen. No. Jon. I didn’t expect that.

“Megan wouldn’t have wanted you to give up.” Hadley’s voice is shaky like she’s crying or trying not to cry. I’m sure she took Megan’s death hard. She really bonded with that girl.

“She gave up.”

“Jon, you just can’t understand. What she went through—” Hadley takes a few deep breaths. “She couldn’t face all this zombie bullshit and deal with the trauma, too. She was too young, and it was just too much for her.”

My stomach twists. I’m sick thinking about what that bastard did to Hadley. At least she got her revenge. I just wish he’d suffered a little more. Or saw it coming, maybe.

Jon lets out a sigh as big as the Grand Canyon. “Did she talk to you much? Did she tell you what happened?” His voice is tense, strained.

He can’t really want to know the details. Can he? It would just be more torture. One more thing to keep him up at night. One more thing he could punish himself for.

“We talked, but not about that. About the past. About you and your parents. She was so grateful you risked so much to get her out.”

“Then why did she do it?” His voice cracks, and there’s rustling like Hadley’s moving closer to him.

“Not everyone can deal with it.” Hadley’s voice quivers. It makes me want to throw up. I hope she can pull through. That she doesn’t let this destroy her the way Megan did.

“I’m sorry,” Jon whispers. “I know what happened to you. It was because of me.”

“No. It was those men, not you.” She exhales, and for a second, I don’t think she’s going to say anything else. Then she says, “I don’t want to talk about that. I just want you to promise you won’t give up. For Megan.”

“What’s the point? What are we fighting for? Even if we are safe here, there’s nothing for us. No future. We’ll never be anything more than what we are here. We’ll never be able to move on. No families, no kids. No relationships. All we’ll ever be is stuck underground, fighting for our lives.”

“You don’t know that! This thing could end as suddenly as it started. We don’t know what’s going to happen,” Hadley says. “And who says we can’t have something more? We start things over from here. Create something new.”

Jon lets out a bitter laugh. “Like what? Start dating. Maybe I’ll take you upstairs and we can watch a movie in the theater.”

“We can just start with something simple,” Hadley whispers.

There’s movement, but I can’t tell what’s going on. Someone jumps to their feet. Then Jon says, “Stop. What are you doing?”

There are more footsteps, and I have the urge to look around the corner so I can figure out what’s going on. Jon sounds so panicked. So confused.

“Kiss me,” Hadley says. “I need this… The last man who touched me…” She doesn’t talk for a second, and when she does, it’s strained. “Help me forget.”

Oh my God. I shouldn’t be listening to this. It’s too private, but it’s too late to go back to the bedroom now. I don’t want them to hear me. To know I heard. I hold my breath and press myself against the wall.

“I need to feel something else. To get rid of the feeling of him on me—” Her voice cracks.

“But if it hadn’t been for me—”

“Stop. This is what I need. Do this for me.”

She sounds desperate, and only a few seconds later, they’re kissing again. The sound is unmistakable this time. Footsteps move my way. They can’t find me here.

I duck into the bathroom and press myself against the wall. They’re still kissing when they go by. Hadley’s shirt is off, and she’s working on Jon’s jeans. They look frantic. I hold my breath and stay where I am. When the bedroom door clicks shut, I finally relax.

I have no idea what to make of that.

My stomach growls again. Food. That’s why I got up.

***

The elevator stops on the first level—the common area. My stomach isn’t growling anymore thanks to a can of corn and jar of Vienna sausages, but I couldn’t get my mind to shut off enough to go back to sleep. I need a drink. Especially after hearing that whole thing with Hadley and Jon.

When the door slides open, the room is quiet but the lights are still on. Doesn’t anyone sleep around here?

I step out and freeze. Angus sits on the couch. Alone. Reading. I never took Angus for a reader. Other than
Penthouse
, that is. I really wouldn’t have been surprised to find out he
couldn’t
read.

He doesn’t look up, but he has to know I’m here. What could this redneck asshole be reading? Curiosity moves my feet forward, and I squint, trying to see the title.

“You gonna just stand there gawkin’?” he says without looking up, and I nearly jump out of my skin.

I put my hand over my pounding heart and shake my head. Damn him. “Just trying to figure out what you’re doing.”

I walk across the room so I’m standing right in front of him. My eyes narrow on the book. A western.

He still doesn’t look up, but he purses his lips, and his eyebrows pull together the way they do when he’s annoyed. “Readin’. What the hell does it look like I’m doin’?”

“Just surprised, that’s all.”

When he finally looks up, his eyes are dark. “Thought I couldn’t read or something? I may be trailer trash, but I ain’t stupid.”

He sniffs and grabs the Coke can off the table in front of him so he can spit into it. I guess he found time to stop for dip on the way back from Vegas. Goody.

I resist the urge to roll my eyes, then head over to the bar to fix myself a drink. I’m not going to let Angus scare me away. He goes back to reading, and on an impulse, I pour him one too. He won’t turn it down. I put the glass on the table in front of him and throw myself into the chair. Cool liquid jumps out of my glass and lands on my hand, and I lick it off before taking a drink.

Angus picks up his drink. He doesn’t thank me. He takes a sip, and his gray eyes study me over the rim of the glass. He has something on his mind.

When he lowers the glass, he says, “Didn’t know she was your mama when I started screwin’ her.”

Every muscle in my body pulls tight, and I grip my glass so hard I’m surprised it doesn’t shatter. “She told you.”

He takes another drink and purses his lips again. “Biggest problem with her is that she don’t ever keep her trap shut. If she weren’t so good in the sack I wouldn’t put up with it.”

I cross my arms over my chest, almost spilling my drink. I’m not sure why. Maybe I’m trying to protect myself from the truth. Or from others knowing the truth. Axl knowing is one thing, but I don’t want anyone else associating me with that woman.

“Don’t sweat it,” I manage to get out.

“I ain’t sayin’ it woulda mattered, I’m just sayin.’”

Is he just trying to get a reaction out of me? Why bring it up if he doesn’t care? I study him and blink. What the hell? His expression is soft—for Angus—and his eyes aren’t as dark.

“I know what it’s like to come from shit. That’s all.” He purses his lips and goes back to his book. “You know how it is. Axl’s spilled the beans ‘bout all that.”

He’s being sympathetic. It brings to mind what Hadley told me, about how he acted when they were alone. Maybe Angus does have softer side. I almost laugh. Angus is full of surprises.

I down the rest of my drink. “Don’t worry about it. She’s nothing to me anyway. I should have left her ass in Vegas.”

Angus snorts. “You wouldn’t have. That ain’t you. You’re the one always runnin’ off to save people. Draggin’ Axl with you. He’s like a goddam puppy these days.”

He snorts again and goes back to his book like he doesn’t expect me to respond to that. As if I could let it go. Axl isn’t a puppy. If anything, he’s finally learned how to be his own man. After all those years of doing what Angus says, Axl has a mind of his own now. That’s what Angus hates.

And me. I’m pretty sure he hates me.

“Why’d you pick me up?” I say. “When my car was broken down on the side of the road, why did you bother?”

Angus sniffs. “Thought you might be grateful. I saw you at that diner. A rack like that’s hard to miss.” He glances up and flashes me a monkey grin. “‘Course, you only had eyes for my brother from day one, didn’t ya?”

“Not from day one, no. Axl was…different. I could see it right away.”

“A pussy, you mean.” I stiffen, but he waves me off. “He’s always been too soft, my baby brother. Woulda gotten the shit beat outta him on a daily basis if I hadn’t been there to toughen him up. Not that it matters. You came along and wiped all that away. Made him weak.”

I get to my feet, torn between the urge to punch Angus in the face and stomp out of the room. “Axl isn’t weak. He’s a good man, and it takes a big person to overcome all the bullshit they’ve been raised with.”

“Whatever you say, Blondie.”

Angus goes back to his book, and my face gets hot. Typical Angus. Just when I’m starting to soften toward him, he has to show his true colors. I turn on my heel and head back to the condo. Before I say or do something I’ll regret.

18
Axl

I JERK AWAKE AND JUMP OUTTA BED. Somebody’s poundin’ on the condo door. Vivian’s eyes pop open, and she sits up. I don’t wait for her. I take off, tearin’ through the condo to see what’s goin’ on. Could be anything. Zombies. Asshole rapists come from Vegas. Maybe all the food got up and walked away. With the way things have been goin’, nothin’ would surprise me.

When I rip the door open, Nathan takes a step back. His eyes get big, and they move down. Shit. Forgot I was naked.

“What’s goin’ on?” I snap.

He turns his face away and rubs the back of his neck. “Sorry, but we need your help with Angus.”

Shit. What’s that asshole done now?

I head back to the bedroom, yellin’ over my shoulder, “Let me grab my pants.”

Vivian is already dressed. “What’s happening?”

“Angus,” I say, pullin’ my jeans on. “Dumb bastard can’t go a day without causin’ trouble.” I don’t even bother grabbin’ a shirt or shoes before headin’ out.

Vivian’s right behind me, wearin’ a dress that shows off every curve. No bra. I hate it. Hate that others can see her. Hate what she went through and that I wasn’t there to help. Hate that it could happen again.

Gotta get her some different clothes.

Nathan’s standin’ in the livin’ room when we run out. Hadley’s there with that asshole Jon. Not exactly sure where he came from, but he’s zippin’ his pants. Weird shit goin’ on ‘round here. Nathan looks ‘bout as uncomfortable as a kid who walked in on his parents doin’ it.

“What’s he done now?” I ask as we run up the stairs. “I hope this ain’t got nothin’ to do with Winston. I’ll beat the shit outta Angus.”

“Not Winston,” Nathan says. “That rich guy. The one who brought you guys here.”

“Mitchell?” Vivian asks.

“Yeah. Angus is giving him a pretty good beating. Doesn’t look like he plans on stopping anytime soon, either.”

“Bastard deserves it,” I mutter, but I move faster. Angus’ll kill him.

We hear the yellin’ before we get there. A couple people—Winston, maybe the doc—tellin’ Angus to stop. Mitchell beggin’ for mercy. Angus cussin’ up a storm. Never heard him sound so angry. And that’s sayin’ a lot.

When we run in, Angus has got Mitchell backed into a corner. The bastard’s face is covered in blood. His nose is broken for sure. Angus stands over him, his face red and hard. Like a bulldog gettin’ ready to attack. His fists are bloody.

“You pussies wanna let this asshole off the hook after he locked us out? Hell no! I ain’t lettin’ this guy get away with it. His ass is mine, and when I’m done with him, he’s zombie chow.”

He grabs Mitchell by the collar and pulls him back up, then slams his fist into the asshole’s face two more times before lettin’ him drop. Angus spins ‘round to face everybody with a big grin on his face. It gets even bigger when he sees me.

“Come on over, little brother! Let off some steam.” He kicks Mitchell, who grunts. The bastard’s head rolls back and forth like it’s barely attached to his neck. “I can share.”

“Damn,” I mutter, takin’ a step closer. “That’s enough, Angus.”

Angus frowns and moves my way. “You wanna let this guy off, too?”

“You know I don’t. But look at him! He got what he deserved. What you gonna do? Kill him? You ain’t a killer.”

Angus spits on the floor. “We’re all killers now, little brother. How many men you kill last night when we was leavin’ that casino? How many would you’ve killed to get Blondie back? You woulda killed ‘em all. I know you.” He points at me and spits again. “This mother’s dangerous. We all know it. He’ll stab every last one of us in the back if he gets a chance.”

“What can he do?” Vivian asks. “Angus, look at him! He can barely move. He’s not going to do anything now but cower in his room. He’ll be too scared.”

Angus puckers his lips and glares at Vivian, and I take a step in front of her. “Let the doc fix him up. He ain’t gonna cause no more problems. Vivian’s right.”

Angus gets right in my face. “You’re wrong.”

We stare at each other for a few seconds, and nobody moves. Angus puckers his lips so tight they look like a dot on his face. He shakes his head. He swears, then spins ‘round and storms outta the room.

“Shit,” I mutter, lookin’ over at Mitchell. His eyes are closed and his face is a bloody mess. If I didn’t know who he was, I wouldn’t recognize him.

“Joshua!” Vivian yells, rushin’ to Mitchell.

I don’t move, and I don’t like seein’ her helpin’ him. Why does she care so much anyhow? The bastard woulda watched us get eaten alive if Hadley hadn’t stepped in.

“I’m gonna go talk to Angus,” I mutter, turnin’ away. I ain’t interested in helpin’ the bastard out. He’s lucky I didn’t let Angus throw him to the zombies.

Darla answers the door when I knock. Angus is right behind her, wipin’ the blood off his fists.

“How’d you turn into such a pussy?” he growls, tossin’ the towel on the counter. “It ain’t my doin’. I did everything I could to do right by you. No way you learned that mercy bullshit from me.”

I shut the door and throw myself on the couch. “It ain’t ‘bout just me, Angus. This is about the group.”

He puckers his lips, and Darla goes to him. She puts her hands on his shoulders. Kisses his neck. Makes me sick.

“So you woulda let me kill the bastard if it’d been up to you?”

I shrug and stare at my bare feet. “Don’t know, but it don’t matter. It ain’t up to me. Them people don’t wanna see you beat a man to death. Not even a man like that. There’s enough violence in this world. We all been through too much as it is.”

“He’s right,” Darla says, and my head snaps up. I don’t want her takin’ my side. “This is a safe place. Nothing else out there for us.”

I get to my feet, resistin’ the urge to spit. She leaves a bad taste in my mouth. “Listen to her, bro. We got nowhere else to go.”

“Like you’d leave,” Angus spits at me.

I wanna cuss when I pucker my lips. Just like Angus. “Why would I?”

“If it weren’t for Vivian, you would.”

I can’t help lookin’ at Darla, but she don’t look no different. Same blank expression on her face as always. Like she ain’t got nothin’ in her head.

“I love her. I ain’t gonna apologize for it, and I ain’t gonna let you talk me out of it this time either. Not like with Lilly.”

Angus puckers his lips, and Darla just stares at me. Does she care ‘bout Vivian at all? It don’t seem like it.

This time, I do spit. Then I turn and head for the door. Bein’ ‘round the two of them ain’t good for me.

Vivian is waitin’ for me in the hall. Leanin’ against the wall wearing nothin’ but that skimpy dress. Even though it makes me uncomfortable, a jolt goes through my body. Somehow, it affects my heart and my crotch at the same time.

“Is he pissed?” she asks.

“He thinks I’m pickin’ you over him.”

“What do I have to do with it?”

I shrug and look at the floor. Angus has been spittin’ out here. There are little brown circles on the gray carpet.

“Probably just reminds him of Lilly.”

“The girl you got the tattoo for?”

I look up, and I can’t help smilin’. “You jealous?”

She smiles too, but it ain’t happy. “She’s probably dead.”

My smile melts away. ‘Course she is. I hadn’t thought ‘bout that. I cared ‘bout Lilly, even after we broke up, and I hate thinkin’ she’s gone.

“We dated when I was seventeen,” I say. “Senior year. She lived in the trailer park too, but she worked hard in school. Studied, did extra work. She was applyin’ to college and tryin’ to talk me into it. My grades weren’t bad. Just average. I never thought ‘bout goin’ to college though, not ‘til Lilly. But she made me think it could happen.”

Vivian puts her hands on my shoulders like she’s tryin’ to comfort me. Not sure I need it, but I don’t stop her. Anytime she wants to touch me she can. “Angus didn’t like that?”

“He said she was settin’ me up for failure. That I should just accept who I was.”

“He was wrong. Maybe he was jealous, or maybe it was his own insecurities. I don’t know. Whatever it was, he was wrong.”

“He was probably just repeatin’ what our mom always said to him.” I swipe my hand through my hair. “Don’t matter now.”

“It does because he’s still trying to keep you down, Axl. Don’t listen to him.”

I shrug again and pull her toward the elevator. It ain’t something I like talkin’ ‘bout.