13
Vivian
HADLEY CAN BARELY SIT STILL as we wait for evening to come. Not that I’m doing much better. This is sure to be the slowest day of our lives.
“Tell me something about you,” I say when I can’t stand the silence any longer.
Hadley shakes her head like she isn’t going to talk, but then she blurts out, “My real name is Virginia Lucas.”
“What?”
“I changed my name to Hadley when I moved out to California. I went by Ginny when I was younger, but I always hated my name. It seemed like the perfect time to create a new identity.”
I let out a low laugh. “I know a little bit about that.”
She nods, and I wait for her to say something else. When she doesn’t I ask, “Did Angus behave himself?”
She smiles and turns to face me. “A perfect gentleman.”
“Angus?” Now it’s my turn to smile. “I’m pretty sure that’s impossible.”
“I’m serious. He was nice. Sympathetic even. I showered and he told me to rest. He sat in the chair and didn’t come close to the bed except when he brought me something to drink. He even made me coffee.”
“You’re lying.” I have a real difficult time picturing Angus doing any of that stuff. I didn’t think he’d attacked her—she would have told me that—but I was pretty sure he’d made a lot of inappropriate jokes that might have scarred Hadley even more.
“I’m telling the truth. Vivian, he even talked to me about his childhood.”
I sit up straighter. “What?”
“He told me about taking Axl camping. Teaching him to fish. Hunt. You should have seen how proud he was of it. He may be a racist ass most of the time, but he did the best he knew how to with Axl.”
“Shit.” I lean against the wall and let all this new information sink in.
Angus did pretty much raise his brother. He may have taught him some stuff that was ignorant and wrong, but he was a kid too. They’re only thirteen years apart. He could have run off, left Axl to get the shit beaten out of him. He could have left him to the system after their mom died. But he stuck around. Let Axl sleep on his couch when his mom was having a bad night. Took him in after she died.
Damn. This changes my whole perspective on Angus.
Not that I don’t still think he’s an ass.
“I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised he was like that with you,” I mumble. “He was good with Emily.”
“Who’s Emily?”
I turn to find Hadley staring at me. I forgot I haven’t told her about my daughter yet. It was too hard to think about when we first got to the shelter, and since then things have just been too crazy. I’ve barely had time to deal with it.
“Emily was my daughter.”
Hadley’s eyebrows shoot up. “You had a daughter?”
“When I was sixteen. I gave her up for adoption, but when this whole virus thing started, she was all I could think about. That’s where I was headed when I met Axl and Angus. My car broke down and I needed to get to California so I could see her. They gave me a lift. I knew getting in the car with them might be a very bad idea, but I was out of options. Turned out to be the best thing I ever did.”
“What happened to her? I mean, you found her. I know you did because you just said Angus was good with her.”
“She got bit. We didn’t know what was going to happen. If she would turn or get better or just die. How could we know?”
“That’s why you didn’t stick up for James when he was bitten.”
I nod and think back to that day. How adamant Hadley was that James, the company employee who was running the shelter, would be okay. She hadn’t seen anyone turn so she couldn’t know. But I knew. Because of Emily.
“Yeah. She turned and Angus took care of it.” My heart splinters in half just thinking about it. The grief is something I’ll always carry with me. When I keep busy, I can almost forget it happened. Then all at once it comes back, almost taking my breath away. I didn’t know losing something you never really had could hurt so much.
Hadley squeezes my hand, and we lapse back into silence. Megan is on the other side of her. Asleep. She sleeps most of the time. Maybe she can’t stand to be awake and face the world. I can understand.
When the door finally opens, my heart leaps and Hadley’s hand squeezes mine. There’s a third man with them tonight. That’s never happened before. I’m not sure whether or not it’s important, but it does make me slightly nervous. Do they suspect something? They couldn’t. Not unless Dirty Blonde—I forgot to ask her name—told someone. She’s sitting on the other side of the room, not looking at me. Did I make a mistake?
My heart thumps with fear and excitement and anxiety as the men walk through the room. Nothing seems off. Linebacker Two and the new man gather women just like always, and Linebacker One heads our way. It’s not a surprise, though. We already knew we were getting chosen.
That asshole grins when he stops in front of me. Even though I know Axl is waiting for me, I tense up. It’s impossible not to. With all the sobbing going on. All the women cowering in terror. The appearance of the linebackers makes me ache with fear, inside and out.
“Yeah, I know. I’m real popular,” I snap.
He grabs my arm and jerks me to my feet. He doesn’t say a word. Just smiles. Why the hell is he so happy tonight? Maybe he just enjoys torturing me. He grabs Hadley too and pulls us toward the door. My eyes meet Dirty Blonde’s as I’m dragged by. She nods. No, she didn’t tell anyone.
We’re herded toward the elevator just like every night, but Linebacker One won’t stop smiling. My stomach starts to churn. Something isn’t right. He stands close to me in the elevator. He won’t let go of my arm. He looks at me the way a person looks at a fillet after not eating for a week. Like he’s starving and can’t wait to dig in. But that can’t be. Axl has me tonight. I’m supposed to be safe.
My heart pounds even faster when the elevator door opens only one floor down. The linebacker pulls me forward. Linebacker Two doesn’t step out to hold the door open the way he usually does. Hadley’s eyes are huge when the door slides shut. She disappears from view and my heart plummets as tears spring to my eyes. No Axl.
The linebacker drags me forward and I twist and fight, but his hand just grips me tighter. He won’t let me go, and my heart pounds so hard it’s all I can hear. Desperately, I look up and down the hall. Axl has to be here somewhere. He’s looking for me. I know he is. If I can just hold out long enough, he’ll come for me. He won’t let this man touch me.
Linebacker One stops in front of a door. He grins at me when he slides a key into the lock, and I want to hurl. The door clicks and my stomach jumps, then drops to the floor. The little red light turns green.
“My turn.”
“No!” I scream and claw at his face as he pulls me into the room. My nails slash across his cheek, drawing blood, and his fingers loosen just enough for me to get my arm free. I stumble when I run forward, further into the room. Where am I going? What am I doing? I have to fight, to find a weapon! Frantically, I search the room. There’s nothing. There are clothes everywhere and a couple shoes. Nothing I can hit him with. Not even a lamp or a book. Nothing more deadly than a tennis shoe.
His hands clasp my shoulders and I scream again, kicking backwards until my heel makes impact. He grunts, and my right shoulder slips from his grasp. I wiggle and squirm, pulling out of his other hand. Then charge toward the window. I still don’t know where I’m going. Just away. Away from him and his meaty hands.
He’s bent over, holding his crotch. His face is red and scrunched up. “Bitch.”
I pant and look around the room. My eyes land on the nightstand, and I rush forward. There has to be something inside. I yank the drawer out, and it clatters to the floor. There’s nothing in it but a Bible. My heart pounds even faster.
Linebacker One straightens up. He takes a few steps toward me, then winces. He’s still holding his crotch. “You’re cutting into my time. Why don’t you just make this easy on yourself?”
“Easy! You think there’s anything about this that could be easy on me? Fuck you!”
He smiles. “No. Fuck you.”
He lurches toward me just as I grab the drawer off the floor. I swing it at his head. It breaks in half when it crashes against his skull. His body slams into the bed, clearing way to the door.
I run.
The linebacker growls behind me. The bed creaks, and his feet hit the floor just as my fingers close around the doorknob. I turn it and pull as hard as I can. A jolt goes through my body when it comes to an abrupt stop. I pull again, but it doesn’t budge. Why won’t it open? Something clatters above my head, and I look up. The safety chain is on! I fumble with the chain, trying to get it free. My fingers shake, but somehow I manage to get it unlatched. He’s right behind me. His breathing is all I can hear. I turn the handle and the door comes open, but before I can make a run for it, the linebacker’s arms wrap around me.
“No!” I howl.
I scream and kick and fight, trying to get away. He’s ready for me this time, though. His arms tighten around my chest, cutting off my air supply. I gasp, and he presses his face against my neck.
“You’re gonna wish you hadn’t done that.”
He tosses me on the bed. I land on my stomach, and my body bounces against the mattress. I crawl forward as I suck in a big mouthful of air. His fingers wrap around my legs and he jerks me back, pinning them down. His hands snake up my thighs, and I swat at them as best as I can in this position, but I’m not making any progress. When his fingers move under my underwear, I scream and squirm and kick. I can’t stop him. There’s nothing I can do. He yanks my underwear down and shifts positions. His knees dig into my calves, making it impossible to turn over. The sound of his zipper is so loud I’m surprised my eardrums don’t burst. I kick harder and try to hit him, but I can turn. Can’t reach him.
“No!” I scream again.
He grunts, and his heavy body drops on top of mine, making it impossible to move. His bare skin against my legs feels hotter than a branding iron. Tears fall from my eyes, and I clamp them shut while I brace myself for what comes next. But he doesn’t move. He’s so heavy I have a difficult time getting air into my lungs. Then something warm drips onto my face.
“Vivian!”
Axl? My eyes fly open, and I try to turn my head so I can find him, but I can’t. Not with the linebacker on top of me. Did I imagine Axl’s voice? The linebacker starts to move and I scream, but nothing happens. Someone grunts, and the weight is lifted off me. I suck in a mouthful of air, and the pain in my lungs lessens. Fingers brush against my leg and I jerk away, rolling to my side.
“It’s okay,” Axl says.
He stands over me, staring down. But he doesn’t make a move to touch me again. His gray eyes are moist. They travel down my body, and his jaw tightens. My underwear is still around my knees. I pull them up with shaky hands and search the room for the linebacker. He’s laying at the foot of the bed with his pants around his ankles. Axl’s knife buried in the back of his skull. I wish he’d suffered just a little bit more.
Tears spring to my eyes, and Axl is at my side in an instant. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, pulling me into his arms.
He kisses my temple, but I can’t speak. Can’t even move. All I can do is stare at the linebacker laying there with his dick hanging out. I must be in shock.
Axl pulls back and turns my face toward his. His eyes search mine, and I blink a few times, trying to get the image of the linebacker out my head. “Was I too late?”
My body starts to tremble as I slowly come back to reality. I shake my head, but my mouth won’t form words. The linebacker was so close. If Axl had been a few minutes later, if I hadn’t fought so hard…things would have been different.
Axl pulls me against him, and I bury my face in his chest. He’s here. He made it. That’s all I need to focus on. Not what could have happened. That and getting the hell out of this hotel. I want to put this nightmare behind me. To move on and never think about the linebacker again.
“Where’s everyone else?” I ask, pulling away and wiping the tears from my cheeks.
“Angus had to go back to his room and wait for Hadley. Jon’s lettin’ everybody in the back. You get somebody to help with Megan?”
My throat burns from unshed tears. I swallow. “Yeah. It should be taken care of.”
Axl gets up, pulling me with him. He yanks his knife out of the linebacker’s skull and wipes the blade on the bed. I refuse to look at the body again, so I stare at Axl, focusing on his face. On his stormy gray eyes. How they sharpen when he moves. Soften when he looks at me. The way the skin around his scar puckers under his lip when he talks. Any detail that will wipe the last few days out of my mind.
***
When Axl and I walk into the hotel room, Hadley rushes toward us. “You’re okay!”
Tears stream down her cheeks and she throws her arms around me. I hug her back. I never used to be a hugger, but right now all I want is for someone to hold me. She probably needs it, too.