Broken World (Book 3): Mad World (25 page)

A gust of wind blows through the truck, and I shiver. He wraps his good arm around me. His skin is damp with sweat and blood. He’s going to be cold soon, too.

“We gonna head out now?” Angus asks. He still hasn’t moved from his position at Axl’s feet.

“Gotta get someplace warm,” Axl says.

I scoot closer, trying to get warm and ensure Axl doesn’t get cold. “We don’t have any clothes and most of us aren’t dressed.”

Anne and Hadley climb into the truck and come over to join us. We’re all gathered around. All the adults except Al and Lila.

“Where do we go?” Hadley asks. Jon puts his arm around her and she doesn’t move away or tell him to stop. That must mean something, but I don’t know what’s going on with those two.

“We could go with your original plan,” Winston says. “Find a farm. Figure out a way to fortify it.”

Jessica sighs and leans against her dad. “You mean go back to California?”

Winston shakes his head. “Not necessarily. There are other places. We need to figure out what would be safest.”

“There’s nothing safe no more,” Darla mutters.

“Anybody got suggestions?” Axl arm tightens around my shoulder when he talks, and he winces.

“Up in Wyoming or Montana, there would be ranches and things,” Joshua says. “Those areas were less populated, so in theory there would be fewer zombies.”

Moira speaks up for the first time. She’s clinging to her husband. “Then we’d have to worry about winter.”

Winston scratches his chin and stares at the ground. “Could be rough with no electricity.”

“We could go south,” I say. “It would be warmer.”

“But more populated,” Joshua replies.

Angus hasn’t said a word.

Axl looks up at his brother. “What’re you thinkin’, bro?”

There are little beads of sweat on Axl’s forehead, and his jaw tightens every time he moves. I wish he’d take something for the pain.

Everyone stares at Angus like he holds all the answers. He purses his lips and shakes his head. “What the doc was sayin’ ‘bout Wyoming sounds good. Be good game there, too. We’d be able to grow food in the summer. Down south, the soil’s all clay and sand. Hot as balls in the summer. Make it tough for people who ain’t used to it.”

“What about the winter?” For some reason, I trust Angus’s take on this. He knows about this kind of thing. Hunting and fishing. This is his element.

“Seems like places that secluded might have generators and wood-burnin’ fireplaces.”

Winston blinks and looks at Angus like he just sprouted a second head. “That’s probably true.”

“And we can load up on supplies before we go. We’ll kill us some animals and use the fur.” He scratches his head. “Indians did it. I think we could probably figure it out.”

Axl nods once. He face scrunches up, and he inhales sharply. “Yeah,” he manages to get out, but it’s strained.

Joshua gets to his feet. “So we head north.”

His shoulders slump. He doesn’t look thrilled. No one does. Why would we? We’re headed north with no idea of what to expect or where we’re really going. We could run out of gas and get stranded, or we could get up there to find it just as overrun as Vegas.

“Gonna have to get some clothes before we go too far,” Angus says. “We got us a map?”

“We have one in the front.” Winston turns and hops out of the truck without another word.

Angus and Jon follow, and the little group around us slowly breaks up. Joshua walks away, mumbling something about checking on Al. Moira drags Nathan toward the back with the women and children. They’re probably going to huddle together back there so they can all keep warm. It’s getting colder by the minute.

Axl’s in pain. It’s written all over his face. In every move he makes. “What can I get you?” I ask, running my hand across his chest, stopping just an inch shy of the gauze.

“You’re all I need.”

I laugh. I can’t help it. “That’s good, because it looks like we don’t have anything else.”

“We’re gonna be okay,” he says fiercely.

“Are we?”

Axl moves closer to me, straining from the movement. “We gotta be. After all this shit we been through, we gotta catch a break. Right?”

“I never knew you were such an optimist.”

“Never was. Not ‘til I met you.” He kisses my neck, and I shiver. “Never had nothin’ good in my life ‘til you.”

“You had Angus.” Axl raises an eyebrow, but I shake my head. “He’s an ass, I’ll be the first one to admit it, but he loves you, Axl. You’re probably the only thing he’s ever really cared about.”

“I never really thought Angus gave a shit ‘bout me except when he needed something. But after the last couple of days, I’m startin’ to think you’re right.” He frowns. “You think he can change? That he can find a way to fit into this group?”

“I think he’ll try. For you.”

Angus and Winston appear outside the truck. Angus tosses an atlas inside, then hoists himself up. Winston follows. When they’re both in, they spread the atlas out on the floor in front of us.

“We’re going to head up this way.” Winston trails his finger along the map. “We got over five hundred miles to cover.”

“Then what?” I ask, staring at the atlas. The distance seems impossible. With no gas stations and no clothes, traveling into the unknown. It seems like the perfect way to get ourselves killed.

“Gotta hope we find a good place,” Angus says.

My eyes sting, and I turn away from the map. I press my face against Axl’s neck. “I guess that’s all we have anymore, isn’t it? Hope.”

“We got each other,” Axl says. “That’s something.”

Winston nods, and when Angus purses his lips, even he looks like he agrees.

I sniff and wipe away a tear that somehow managed to escape. “Then let’s do it. Let’s not hang around waiting for the dead to find us.”             

Angus nods, and Winston gets to his feet as he folds up the map. They both start shouting off orders. Axl wraps his arm around me tighter, and my heart pounds. People work together, gathering things so we’re ready to go. This group we have here, it’s like a family. Axl is right. That
is
something. It’s so much more than we could ever hope for in times like this.

26
Axl

BEING SHOT SUCKS. Not that I thought it’d be fun, but it ain’t just the pain. It’s seein’ the worry on Vivian’s face. It’s realizin’ Angus really does care and I’m puttin’ him through hell. It’s addin’ to an already stressful night.

I lean against the wall while Joshua tightens the strap on my sling. Every time he adjusts it, a bolt of pain shoots across my back. I wince and he apologizes, but he don’t stop what he’s doin’. I gotta clench my fist to keep from hittin’ him.

When he’s done, I relax. Havin’ the sling does help with the pain. But I hate sittin’ here. Watchin’ everybody get packed up. I use my free hand and try to hoist myself off the ground, but it don’t work. More pain shoots through me. Vivian is at my side before I’m done cussin’, holdin’ my hand.

“Let me help,” she says, and I can’t argue. I’d be dumb as shit to pretend I didn’t need it.

“What about Vegas?” Hadley blurts out.

Vivian is helpin’ me to my feet and I turn too fast. The throbbin’ in my shoulder turns into a pain that feels like a bolt of lightnin’. Shootin’ down my arm and across my chest at the same time. I suck in a deep breath, and Vivian’s arm tightens ‘round me.

“You okay?” she whispers.

I press my lips together and nod. “Yup.” It don’t sound convincin’. Even to me.

“Vegas,” Hadley says again. “All those women at the Monte Carlo. What about them? We’re just going to leave them there? Run off and forget about them?”

“What you want us to do?” Angus asks. “We can’t take ‘em all in, and we’re pretty outnumbered.”

Hadley frowns and shakes her head.

Jon’s standin’ next to her, and he nods. “She’s right. We can’t walk away.”

The pain in my shoulder is still there. A constant burnin’ that throbs, almost takin’ my breath away when I move too fast. I ease back and lean against the wall of the truck. Then I hold my breath until it eases a little.

“We killed a bunch of ‘em,” I manage to get out. “Might not be so outnumbered now.”

Winston is starin’ at me, then he looks over toward Vivian. Then Jessica. His daughter. I can read him like a book. “We have to do something.”

Angus shakes his head and swears under his breath. He spits. “What you wanna do? Just go there and throw the doors open?”

Vivian’s body is tense, and she’s starin’ at the floor. She nods slowly, and her blonde hair falls over her face. “Exactly. Do to them what they did to us. Open the doors and let the bastards in.”

“No guarantee it will work,” Nathan says. “The zombies aren’t going to use the elevator to go upstairs. What if the men are all in their rooms? It’s the middle of the night.” That wife of his is clingin’ to him like crazy, and her eyes are wild-lookin’. Like they’re gonna pop outta her head any second.

I pucker my lips, and this time I don’t give a shit that I probably look just like Angus. They’re right. Much as I hate to admit it. We can’t leave them women alone, and we did kill of a lot of their men. I got that bastard boss before somebody put a bullet in me. We could do it. Probably wouldn’t even be that tough.

“We can start a fire,” I mutter. “Make the fire alarm go off. It’d draw them downstairs.” I move an inch, and flames of pain lick their way across my insides. All the breath leaves my lungs and Vivian grabs my arm, but I shake my head and close my eyes. It takes a few seconds for the fire to die down.

“You aren’t going anywhere,” she whispers.

Wish I could argue, but she’s right. I’d be useless. Not a feelin’ I enjoy.

“So you want us to go to the Monte Carlo, start a fire, then throw the doors open and let the zombie bastards in?” Angus asks. His voice is tight, the way it gets when he’s callin’ you out on your bullshit. I open my eyes and meet his gaze.

He shakes his head and spits on the floor.

“We have to live in this truck, Angus,” Vivian snaps.

Her body is gettin’ more tense by the second. She’s starin’ at Hadley, who’s twistin’ a strand of hair between her fingers. Pullin’ on it so hard I wouldn’t be surprised if it fell out.

“We can’t leave them,” Vivian whispers.

Hadley nods, but she don’t look up.

“What ‘bout all them women?” I ask. “You gonna just leave them to fend for themselves, or you gonna bring ‘em back with you?”

“We got enough baggage as it is,” Angus mutters.

He acts like he’s gonna spit on the floor again, then he looks at Vivian and heads to the back of the truck. The bastard actually spits out into the desert. Never thought he’d be considerate. Ain’t really his style.

Hadley drops the hair she’s been twistin’, and her head snaps up. Her green eyes narrow on Angus, and she takes a step forward. “You bastard—”

“He’s right,” Winston says.

Everyone—Angus included—turns to face Winston.

Winston don’t blink, and he don’t look sorry. “We can’t take them on. How many women were there?”

Vivian shakes her head. “Thirty, maybe.”

Nathan’s wife whimpers like a sick dog, and the doc swears. He’s covered in Al’s blood. And mine. We gotta get us some clothes.

“We can’t take that many more people,” Nathan says, ignorin’ his wife.

“And it isn’t just that it’s thirty more people. It’s thirty damaged women. They’d be exactly what Angus said, baggage.” Winston rubs the back of his neck and looks at the ground like he’s ashamed to admit it.

But he’s right.

“Shit,” I mutter. “It’s no good.”

“So we just leave them?” Hadley’s voice is high, like a kid going through puberty. “We walk away and forget they’re being used—” Her voice breaks, and she shakes her head. She goes back to twistin’ that hair.

“No,” Winston says. He looks up and his eyes meet mine like he’s askin’ permission.

“We ain’t gonna leave ‘em, but we can’t take ‘em,” I say.

Winston nods.

Vivian stands up straighter, and her hand falls away from my arm. “So we get a small group together and head out in the Nissan. We start a fire, draw the men out, then let the zombies do their worst. But we leave the women? Do we even go up to that floor? Tell them the coast is clear?”

Hadley nods, but she don’t look up. “Yes. We have to.”

Angus is standin’ at the back of the truck, and he spits again. “Shit.”

“So who’s going?” Vivian asks, ignorin’ Angus.

My shoulders tense, and pain shoots down my arm. It’s like a blade is bein’ dug into my skin, and it brings tears to my eyes. I exhale, and Vivian’s right there, askin’ me if I’m alright. But there’s no pain intense enough to distract me from what’s ‘bout to happen.

I grab her, workin’ through the pain, and pull her against me. “No,” I murmur, pressin’ my lips against her head. Her hair tickles my nose, and I squeeze my eyes shut. “I ain’t gonna let you.”

“I have to,” she whispers.

“I’ll go,” Jon says.

Vivian pries herself out of my arms and takes a step away. “Me too.”

The pain in my shoulder has moved down to my heart. And that damn animal is back, clawing at me from the inside out.

I lean against the wall while I try to catch my breath. Winston volunteers. And Hadley. Even Nathan, which makes his wife start cryin’ like a banshee. Then Angus says he’ll go. He’s lookin’ at me when he says it, and his lips are all puckered up. There’s something hard in his face, and I can’t help rememberin’ our conversation ‘bout the Monte Carlo. Maybe he wouldn’t be there if things were different. Maybe this is his way of showin’ me.

Then his eyes go to Vivian, who is already gettin’ ready to leave. No, he’s doin’ this for me. To keep an eye on her, ‘cause he knows I can’t.

Does he know I’d die without her? He must.

Still can’t believe he cares.

I slump to the floor while everybody ‘round me starts movin’. Makin’ plans. My shoulder throbs and my legs are shakin’. I’m sweatin’ even though everybody else seems to be covered in goose bumps.

Maybe I should let the doc give me something for the pain.

“You look like shit,” Angus says, sittin’ down next to me.

“Can’t lie,” I say in a voice that don’t sound nothin’ like me. “Feel like shit.”

Angus clears his throat and puckers his lips. For once I don’t think he looks like a monkey. Maybe I’m delirious.

“I wouldn’t have you know.” He ain’t lookin’ at me. He’s starin’ out the back of the truck like he’s focusin’ on something else, but I know my brother better than that. He don’t like makin’ himself vulnerable.

“I know,” I mutter, mostly ‘cause I don’t wanna send him off to Vegas while things are still tense between us.

He puckers his lips even more. “I ain’t like them sick bastards. I know I can be a hard-ass, but that’s just for survival. Always had to be that way. I wouldn’t take advantage of somebody weaker. That ain’t right.” He takes a deep breath and narrows his eyes on the horizon. “That’d be too much like
her
.”

I shift uncomfortably, and even the pain shootin’ through my body can’t distract me from what just happened. Angus never talks about our mom. Never.

Just like it always does when I think ‘bout her, my throat tightens. “She was a bitch,” I manage to get out.

Angus nods, then spits on the floor. “But she was our mama. Only one we ever got.” He clears his throat and gets to his feet, lookin’ down at me. “I’ll keep an eye on Blondie, don’t you worry ‘bout that.”

“Keep an eye on yourself, too. Don’t go doin’ something stupid.”

Angus grins. “Now, when have I ever done something stupid?”

When I laugh, the pain is so intense it leaves the edges of my vision black.

***

My eyes are closed and I’m sweatin’ from the drive. Every bump is agony, and by the time we pull to a stop, I’m havin’ a tough time stoppin’ myself from cussin’. My lips are raw from bitin’ into them. The throbbin’ in my shoulder is gettin’ to be too much, but I don’t want nobody to know.

Somebody kneels next to me, and I know it’s Vivian before I even open my eyes. When I do, just seein’ her face helps distract me from the pain.

“Let Joshua give you something,” she whispers, brushin’ the sweaty hair off my forehead.

I shake my head and try my best not to wince from the pain. It don’t work, and the expression on her face is almost enough to make me give in.

“I’m okay,” I whisper instead.

She runs her hand down the side of my face, stoppin’ on my chest. “We’re getting ready to head out.”

I put my hand over hers. “Don’t.”

“I have to. You have to know that.”

I squeeze my eyes shut when pain slices through me. It’s got nothin’ to do with the gunshot wound.

“I’ll come back,” she whispers.

I nod, but I can’t make my eyes open. Then she presses her lips against mine and I pull her closer with my good hand. I grab a handful of her dress and wrap it around my fist. No. I can’t let her go.

“I’ll never make it if you don’t come back,” I say against her lips.

“I would never leave you. It would take more than a few zombies to keep me away.”

My shoulder throbs, but I ignore it. I part her lips with my tongue and kiss her like I can change her mind. She runs her hands over my chest, and her lips are right behind. When they stop over my wound I inhale sharply, but it’s got nothin’ to do with pain.

“I love you,” she says.

My throat’s too tight to get anything out.