Broken (Soldiers of Darkness MC Book 1) (37 page)

‘Do you love her, Zeb?’

He drops to his haunches and bows his head, clasping his hands together between his knees. ‘I don’t know. OK?’ He raises his gaze and looks right at me. ‘Sometimes it feels wrong, what we’ve done to her; what we turned her into.’

‘You feel guilt?’

He stands up and moves a little further back into my space. ‘I’m not a fucking robot, Mack.’

I hold his gaze, I mean, I look right into those dark eyes and I don’t know what to think. We’re all entering uncertain times now, and I guess we all just gotta stick together and try and make this work. Whatever it turns out to be. ‘Maybe we should make a start on this, huh?’ I jerk my head in the direction of Viper’s now-lifeless body.

‘Yeah.’

‘Then we got some explaining to do, to Sam.’

‘Leave Sam to me.’

‘Shouldn’t you be concentrating on Izzi?’

He stares me down again, but there’s something else there in his eyes now. Something that tells me he ain’t quite as hard as his outer appearance may lead people to believe. Maybe he really does care about her. ‘Come on. We got work to do.’

Or maybe he’s just scared to admit it.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Izzi

I don’t feel numb anymore. I don’t feel like there’s nothing out there for me; I don’t feel tired or angry. I don’t, I… I
feel
. It’s like a veil’s just been lifted and I can see again. And there isn’t a part of me that feels any hint of guilt at what I’ve just done. That man took everything from me, it was the least he deserved.

I step out of the shower and look in the mirror and I smile as I remember that bastard’s blood on my face. For a long time I didn’t know who I was, who I needed to be; who I
wanted
to be. I know now.

I close my eyes as I hear him – I know it’s Zeb – walk into the bathroom, and I keep them closed as he winds an arm around my waist and pulls me back against him.

‘It’s all done.’ He rests his mouth against the side of my neck as he murmurs the words and I reach back and wind my fingers in his hair, his clothes rough against my naked body.

I feel alive. And the circumstances; the situation that brought me back to life, it’s sick and twisted and the woman I’d once been, she’d have been shocked and disgusted at what I’ve become. But I need this shit like a drug now because it makes me feel alive!

His hand splays out over my stomach and I turn my head slightly so his mouth catches mine, and he kisses me long and slow, and I let my insides swoop and dive with every movement of his lips against mine. I know what he wants, and I want it too, so much I’m dizzy with anticipation.

‘You still with me, baby?’

I nod, and he kisses me again and I know – I know where I’m going now.

He drops his hand and I gasp quietly as he slides it between my legs, and I widen them a touch and let that warm rush wash over me. He’s making me wet, and I crave him now, I need his cock inside me so he can flood me with his dark and beautiful poison. And as he thrusts into me I cry out loud; a cry of pain and pleasure and relief. It’s over. All the crap that brought me here, it’s over. But I’m not going anywhere.

I grip the sink in front of me as his hands on my hips pull me back against him, and he thrusts even deeper, even harder, and I take the pain and feel the pleasure flood through me, spilling out into every cell, every vein. And then I reach back again and bury my fingers in his hair, clenching tight as our bodies mold together. His hands are rough against my skin, his fingers digging into my flesh as he continues to thrust and pound into me, and then he slows down, almost as if he senses that if he keeps this up it’s all going to end way too soon. So I loosen my grip on his hair, and I lie back against him as we both still for just a couple of beats. And for a second or two it’s like the world stopped turning; like it was giving us a chance to catch up and realize just what we’re doing here. And then the moment passes, and I feel him move inside me again, and he slips a hand back down between my legs and finds my clit and, oh,
Jesus
! He nips it gently between his thumb and forefinger and then strokes it, plays with it, and I feel the most beautiful explosion begin. And as he erupts inside me I open my eyes and look in the mirror and I watch our reflection, our bodies moving together as he comes. And a moment of calm, a feeling of clarity, it washes over me, the realization almost overwhelming in its intensity. But I know, now – I know who I need to be with…

Mack

‘We couldn’t stop her, Sam.’

Sam hands me a tumbler of whiskey and sits down at the table. ‘I know. It’s done now. And I assume you and Zeb have finished the job?’

I nod and swallow the whiskey down in one mouthful.

‘Good.’

‘There might be repercussions.’

‘I doubt that.’

I frown and reach for the bottle of bourbon, refilling my glass.

‘Trust me, Mack. Please.’

I just raise my eyebrows and take a drink. I don’t know who the fuck this guy really is, but if we’re gonna work together I know I gotta start finding out everything I can about him. Just, not right now.

‘Is Izzi all right?’

I shrug. ‘Zeb’s with her now, so…’

I trail off and Sam looks at me. ‘And you’re OK with that, are you?’

I frown again. Are we back on the analyzing crap, ‘cause if we are… And I don’t answer him. I’m not getting into all that shit. Of course I ain’t OK with it. But I can’t do much to change the situation right now. That’s gonna take time.

‘The sit-down went well, with our neighboring MC brothers.’

He’s all business, this guy.

‘And we can go see the new clubhouse and compound tomorrow.’ He checks his watch and raises an eyebrow. ‘Later today, I should say.’

‘You don’t hang about, do you?’ I finish my drink but resist another one. I just want to sleep now.

‘I’d like to get things moving, Mack, as I’m sure you would, too.’

He assumes a lot, but in this case he’s right. Setting up a new chapter, that’s gonna be a distraction I need right now.

‘Someone ratted me out, Sam.’

He fixes me with a look, but I can’t quite read him. He has that kinda face.

‘Someone back home?’

‘Yeah. Someone back home. They told Viper I was coming here, he let me know that much before he died.’

‘He didn’t say who?’

‘Bastard took that piece of information to the fucking grave. But I got my suspicions.’ I just hope I’m proved wrong.

Sam finishes his drink and gets up from the table. ‘Well, maybe it’s best to leave it at that. For now.’

‘Huh? No, I’m sorry, that ain’t happening. The Soldiers of Darkness have
never
had a problem with brothers ratting each other out. Never. And I ain’t putting up with it now.’

‘Then wait, at least. Lull them into a false sense of security, let them think they’ve got away with it. Don’t be impulsive, Mack. Not this time. Not now.’

I get up and kick my chair back in frustration. He ain’t taking that pleasure away from me, too.

‘We wait. That’s all. We wait. Let us grow strong, Mack. Let us build our chapter and do this properly.’

‘Betrayal don’t sit well with me, Sam.’

‘And it shouldn’t. But we wait. OK?’

I stare at him, and even though the bigger part of me wants to get on my bike and ride the fuck back home to sort this shit myself, I pull back from doing something I just might regret.

‘OK? Mack?’

‘Yeah, yeah. OK.’

He starts walking towards the door. ‘Go get some sleep. We’ve got a lot to get through over the next few days.’

I wait until he’s gone before I grab the bottle of bourbon and pour myself another shot. Fuck it! I need the hit.

I’m still getting my head around all the crazy shit that’s gone on since Izzi walked into my world and fucked it up. And I’m guessing that crazy shit, it ain’t over yet…

Chapter Thirty-Four

Izzi

‘Oh, baby, how handsome do you look?’ I walk over to Zeb and run a hand lightly over his jaw line, my fingers barely touching his skin, and he grabs my hand and brings it to his mouth, kissing it gently. ‘My dark, dirty, dangerous man…’

He grins and pushes me back against the wall, his mouth crashing down onto mine with an almost violent force and I groan quietly into him as he kisses me hard and fast, his fingers clawing at the hem of my short dress. My wedding dress.

‘Come on, princess. One more time before we go make this official.’

His fingers slide between mine against the wall and I smile as I bite down on my lip. ‘I’ve just put these panties back on.’

‘Waste of time doing that, darlin’.’

‘You reckon?’

‘I know.’

I close my eyes as he kisses me again, and right now, as we stand here in our bedroom, just minutes away from our wedding, it feels as if the past few months have been a blur. Aiden and my father, I’ll never forget them. They’ll always live on in my heart, but that life I could have had if they’d still been alive – I had to let that go, before it destroyed me. I had to accept that life was never going to happen now, and embrace the life I’ve been left with. A life I’d started to live; started to like, Jesus, that still sends a shiver right through me, but it’s true. I need this life now. It’s almost addictive, the
 
adrenaline rush it can create. And I’m not scared anymore, of letting myself get close to someone. I can do that now. I’m not letting the fear take over. This life I’ve now become cocooned inside, it comes with risks, I know that. I knew that from the beginning. And those risks are huge and terrifying but they make me feel alive; this
man
makes me feel alive.

‘I love you, Zeb,’ I whisper, and my mouth still rests against his, and he smiles, and I can’t even get my head around how happy I feel right now. Because I
do
love him. I think I realized that the night I killed Viper. I fell in love with a bad man, and I want to spend the rest of my life being his bad, bad girl.

‘I love you too, princess. Oh, baby, you got me good…’

And I know how hard it is for him to say that. To admit it. Because I know he thinks this kind of emotion makes him a weaker man, but it doesn’t. It makes him stronger. And together I think we can do anything. Am I still OK with Mack being around? Yeah. It’s been a few months now, since he turned up here, and I’m fine with it. I thought it was him I was falling for, in the beginning, but I don’t think I was capable of feeling anything close to love back then. My mind was too consumed with too many mixed-up emotions, and they didn’t disappear until I blew that bullet into Viper’s stomach. Only then could I really begin to see clearly.

I slide a hand around Zeb’s neck and my fingers gently pull on his hair as he pushes me against him; until we’re pressed so close together I can feel his heart beating into me. ‘You ready?’ he whispers, and for the briefest of seconds I see the man underneath. The man I haven’t yet met in his entirety. But I will, in time.

‘Where you’re concerned, baby, I’m always ready.’

He laughs low and deep, and I feel my stomach contract as goose bumps break out all over my skin. ‘The girl of my fucking dreams, and I made her.’

He made me.

He got me. In the end.

And I’m not going anywhere…

Mack

She looks fucking incredible. I mean, shit! There ain’t a man in this place who can take his eyes off her. She’s got their dicks hard without even trying, she’s that beautiful. Today. Every day. But today she’s about to make my job even harder.

The new Soldiers of Darkness chapter is up and running now, and here, in our compound, is where Izzi is about to marry my VP. My cousin. She’s gonna break my fucking heart and kill me a thousand times over but I’ve got my club back now. I’m taking control, regaining my rightful place at the top of the pile, and those distractions are gonna help me while I bide my time.

Sam’s like a proud father as he walks her up the make-shift aisle lined with Harleys, in fact, he’s probably been more of a daddy to her in the past couple of years than he’ll ever be to me. But I don’t need a father. I don’t need anyone.

Zeb takes her hand and pulls her in for a kiss and I have to turn away, man, I’m that fucking weak? Really? But I force myself to watch as this unconventional wedding continues. I watch as they make vows only people in our world could make, and I watch as lewd heckles and shouts from some of the gathered guests cause laughter and jeers and for the briefest of seconds I wonder if there was anything I could’ve done to change this situation; for it to have been me standing there with my hand on her hip and my mouth on hers, instead of him. And then I snap out of it. Thinking like that, it ain’t gonna help anything. I got stuff to do before I can go there again. Shit to sort out.

But that woman, man, I need her like an addict needs crack. And I don’t care who the hell she’s with. I don’t care that she’s married now, or that my cousin – my VP – is the man who gets to sleep with her every night of his fucking life, I don’t care. Because one day I’ll take his place. One day she’ll wake up and see that me being here, that ain’t no coincidence. One day everything will be just how it should be.

Mack Slayer really is back now.

And he ain’t taking no more crap…

Soldiers of Darkness Book #2 will be released summer 2016…