Broken Pasts (10 page)

“
Yeah,”
Jamie whispered fiercely, stepping between me and Nathaniel, one hand
on her hip and the other pointed blatantly at Gary. She always
looked so tough when she was pissed. It was a trait I envied.
I
should be more like her. I can take care of Gary on my own. I can
learn to use my gun, talk to him myself. No problem.
Still,
thoughts were a long way from action and I had yet to prove myself.
“But he doesn't have a right to make Theresa paranoid or upset
or scared. That is seriously fucked, Nathaniel.” Nathaniel
nodded his head, dark hair gleaming under the dim lights from above.
After seven o'clock, the alley switched into its 'Rock 'N' Roll' mode
and turned on neon signs from the eighties, classic rock music
blaring in the background. Let's just say, the majority of the
people there were twice my age, at least.

“
No,
he doesn't. What he's doing is morally and legally corrupt, but
until we can prove that, he stays. We'll write it down as an
incident and the more witnesses the better; we'll all sign it. How
does that sound?”

“
That
sounds like bullshit,” Jamie snarled, stepping close to
Nathaniel. Gary was setting himself up two lanes down from where we
were. Every couple of seconds, I saw him look up and rake his eyes
over me. It was horrible.

“
Jamie,
please,” I said feeling deflated. This was my one night a week
to calm down, to really let go and relax. Now the silly fun was
being obliterated by the man that I had once given my heart to. Was
life against me or what? “Nathaniel,” I began, pushing
my friend gently out of the way. “What did he say?”

“
He
said he was here to bowl.” I tried to look at Gary out of the
corner of my eye, but I kept catching this dark stare, this look in
his eyes that was akin to staring at the sun. It hurt. “I
asked him to reconsider, seeing as to how we were building a case
against him, but he refused. Theresa,” he began and his hands
came out and wrapped around mine, warm, solid, comforting. There was
this stability in Nathaniel, this certainty about what should and
could be done in a given situation that I liked. That old question,
If you were trapped on a desert island, what one item would you
bring with you?,
popped into mind. I had to admit that he was a
good candidate for the position. He'd get us off the island, I was
sure of it. “I don't want to upset you or freak you out, but
Gary's behavior is escalating quickly. Normally, it would take weeks
or even months for a stalker to be this blatant. I'm really worried
about you.” I was already shaking my head. This was too real.
It was as real as waking up in the hospital with a part of me gone.

“
Why?”
I asked as Nathaniel locked eyes with me. Jamie had turned away and
was talking in low tones to Joel, probably explaining the situation
to him before he greeted Gary and invited him over. Not that Gary
had ever been all that nice to Joel, but he was a good man. He would
never suspect something like this out of my ex-husband. Gary was
forty-two years old, clean cut, a respected business professional.
This whole situation was like something out of the twilight zone. It
was horrible and completely unbelievable.

“
It's
hard to say why they do it.” Nathaniel put his hands on my
shoulders and suddenly, his lips were on my forehead, burning into my
skull and sending me into a spiral of emotion that ended with me
folding myself against his chest.

“
Is
it my fault?” I asked as the sound and the company and the
noise around me seemed to fade. I was wrapped in the arms of a
stranger and I had never felt so good. I realized that I was going
to get hell from Jamie and giggles from Rhea, but I didn't care. I
stayed where I was and listened to the rise and fall of Nathaniel's
chest.

“
Not
at all,” he told me and his breath swirled the hair on top of
my head. “Many people are stalked by complete strangers.
There's something wrong with them, not you.” I nodded my head,
but I didn't believe him. Somehow, I thought that I had done
something that had set Gary off. Maybe it was the way I'd broken off
the relationship – cold turkey. Or maybe it was Rhea. Maybe
he missed her? I wasn't sure, but I wasn't willing to buy that he
was just crazy. Some strange part of me still wanted to see the good
in people. How fucked up is that?

I
pulled back from Nathaniel feeling both warm and cold at the same
time. His presence was comforting, like an old blanket on a stormy
night while Gary's was like being trapped in the middle of a
blizzard, naked and exposed. It was not a pleasant experience. The
negative canceled out the positive and left me standing there feeling
completely empty in the middle of the packed bowling alley. The only
thing that was keeping me from melting into the floor and giving up
on the night completely was the look on Nathaniel's face, the one
that said,
I'll help you through this.
I decided to throw my
instincts (which had never served me well) to the wind and trust him.
But tomorrow I was still going to learn to use that gun. I could
take a class at the shooting range or …

“
I've
got a handgun in my bedside table. Do you think I could throw a few
extra bucks your way for some lessons?”

“
You
could throw a whole lot of things my way,” Nathaniel said with
a dirty smile. “But money isn't one of them.”

CHAPTER 11

“
He's
following us,” I told Nathaniel as we pulled out of the parking
lot and started heading south on 'A' Street. Rhea turned around at
my words and tried to look out the back window.

“
Who?”
she asked as I tried to swallow my anger and put on a fake smile.

“
Just
Joel,” I said, trying to lighten the situation. “I bet
he's just mad that we beat him tonight. What do you think?”
Rhea nodded and stuffed the massive lollipop that she'd won from a
claw machine into her mouth. Joking aside, Joel had seemed just the
slightest bit ticked off that we'd won. Apparently Jamie had been
right: having Nathaniel on
The McMaster Lizards
had been a
double blessing. Not only had my game been better because of him,
but he was an awesome bowler.

“
It's
okay,” Nathaniel said, calm as always. “Just relax.
It's an intimidation tactic. If there's one thing these … ”
He paused as if considering his words carefully. Trying to talk
secretively in front of a nine year old is not the easiest thing to
do. “These
bowlers
like to do. It's to make you feel
scared or upset. Oftentimes, that's their only motivation. They
want you to feel small because it makes them feel big.”

“
Like
a bully?” Rhea asked and Nathaniel nodded.

“
Exactly
like a bully,” he said as we turned right and started back
towards the house. I didn't like the idea of leading Gary back
there, but then, it wasn't as if the location of my house was a
secret or anything. Besides, if Nathaniel said it was going to be
okay then it was. Call me stupid for wanting to trust him, but it
really did make sense from a psychological level. He'd failed to
save his wife from her ex-husband and now he had the chance to save
me from mine. Even with just the redemption factor in place, it was
worth it for him to be right about this, to protect me. That's not
even mentioning the face that he was getting paid to do it. Or that
he had an interest in me. I shivered involuntarily and then had to
deal with Rhea's raised eyebrows.

“
It's
hot in here,” she said without any further explanation as I
forced myself to keep my gaze forward and off of Gary's silver BMW.
I don't know where the white car from the previous nights had come
from, but he was back in his own vehicle now and he was riding our
tail like nobody's business.

“
Please
tell me you have some cute bumper sticker about how you're going to
kick his … ” I looked down at Rhea's inquisitive face
and altered what I was about to say. “Butt if he keeps
tailgating us.”

“
Unfortunately
no,” Nathaniel said with a small smile that I caught in the
rearview mirror. “But I could still kick his
butt
when
we get back to your house if that's what you want. We'll just say he
was threatening you and call it a day.” I smiled back at him
and forced myself to keep my hands folded gently in my lap. I could
see how the stress of this could kill a person. I decided to try and
flirt with Nathaniel again. It had worked beautifully at the bowling
alley. It was as if since he was being forced to play the part of
the 'boyfriend', that he could let himself go and just enjoy being
with me. I wondered if it would still work with just Rhea as an
audience member.

“
Would
you join me for a terrible romantic comedy this evening?” I
asked. “It's kind of tradition that Jamie and I go home and
each watch a different one after bowling, so we have something to
talk about in the morning. We've done it for years.” I waited
impatiently for Nathaniel's response. Bodyguard warred with
boyfriend for a moment as we paused at a stoplight. Finally, he
answered me and it wasn't what I wanted to hear.

“
Under
different circumstances … ” he started and I held up my
hands, hoping that he was glancing back at me.

“
That's
okay,” I said, not wanting him to feel the need to explain. I
didn't know why I'd even asked. He'd be there anyway, standing
behind me and staring at the wall. He'd hear most of the good parts,
either way. Besides, most movies were bad enough that they weren't
much better than staring at a blank wall.

“
I
know you're probably getting tired of hearing that,” Nathaniel
supplied, and I could tell that he felt the need to explain himself
whether I wanted him to or not. “But with this … ”
He gestured vaguely towards the back of the car, and I nodded. “I
don't know if it's safe.”

“
Right,”
I said and was suddenly convinced that the world had it out for me.
Either that or I was just embarrassed at getting turned down. It was
probably for the best anyway. What kind of woman falls in love while
she's being stalked by her ex? It just didn't seem right though I
knew logic wouldn't play a part in any of my decisions. It never
did, especially when it came to love. Not that I thought I was in
love with Nathaniel, of course. But I was definitely in lust. I
hadn't had daytime sex fantasies
ever.
Now I was spending
half my idle time wondering what Nathaniel looked like under all that
suit. I was guessing he waxed, or at least shaved. I couldn't
imagine a hairy chest or back on the man. “But I am going to
start asking for rain checks.” Nathaniel grinned and I could
tell the expression was genuine, even if I couldn't see most of it.

“
I
could definitely agree to that,” he said and I felt my heart
skip a beat, just one, but it was enough that I took notice. It was
nice to know that the poor thing wasn't too wounded to get up and try
again. It had been beaten, bruised, and bloodied, broken in two and
wrapped up again, but it was still there, still thumping away for one
more chance at that perfect kiss, that perfect person that could take
the darkness and the bad memories and the anger and push it all away
again, bring out the sun and light up my soul.

***

“
Two
freaking days, Jamie,” I said as I carefully applied my
eyeliner and batted my lashes at my reflection. “You can't
even remotely pretend that I know the guy after two days.”

“
Three
days,” Jamie corrected me as she slurped something noisily in
my ear. I adjusted the volume on the phone as she continued to talk.
Convincing me to have sex with Nathaniel had now become her number
one priority. I kind of thought it was because she really wanted to
fuck him and so was living vicariously through me, but I didn't say
anything aloud. Partially that was because Nathaniel was standing
just outside the bathroom door and partially because I knew Jamie
would kill me if I said it. “And you're thinking about it all
wrong. How long does a first date usually last?”

“
A
good one or a bad one?”

“
Why
does that matter?”

“
The
bad ones always last longer.” Jamie sighed.

“
A
good one then,” she said as she started chewing. “A
great one, an amazing one, one where you hit it off right away, find
each other attractive, and have a lot in common. One where you just
can't wait to jump into bed together and start humping.”

“
Dear
god,” I said as fluffed my hair and pouted my lips. I'd found
an aquamarine dress in the back of my closet, a sleeveless one with a
square neckline that showed off my breasts and complimented my skin.
I hadn't looked this hot since I'd met Glen, since I was a
teenager.
“I'll pretend you didn't just say that and answer the
question. Say we do the standard dinner and a movie thing, I'd say
about four hours, tops.”

“
Okay,
so barring the time with Cedric and time to sleep, you've spent say,
forty-eight waking hours with Nathaniel?” I could see where
this was going, so I rolled my eyes.

“
I'm
hanging up now.”

“
That's
the equivalent of twelve dates, Theresa.”

“
Goodbye
Jamie.”

“
Think
about it.” I hung up the phone, turned off the sink and the
fan and opened the door to find Nathaniel staring at me. He was
smiling and didn't look at all like a bodyguard, more like a very
close friend with a secret to tell.

“
You
don't have to pretend to go to the bathroom to get some privacy,”
he told me as he stepped out of my way and allowed me to pass by him
and into the kitchen. After I'd dropped Rhea off at her friend's
house for a play date, I'd come back to the house for awhile,
intending to get most of my work done from home. It was easier than
facing Gary's gaunt face. He'd sat outside all night long in his
car, just waiting for me to come outside. When I had that morning,
he'd gotten out and sat on the hood. When I'd come back, he'd done
the same. It made me want to turn the house into a fortress,
barricade all the doors and windows and just hide away. Nathaniel
wouldn't let me, but he also couldn't force me to go anywhere, show
the world what was happening. A couple of Glen's friends worked at
the office next door to mine. If they saw what was going on, they'd
tell him. That was for sure. It was Saturday, so maybe I was being
paranoid, but I wasn't going to take any chances.

“
What
are you talking about?” I asked as I poured myself a cup of
coffee and pretended not to be m
ortified.
I sipped it black, savoring the bitter bite on my tongue. I found
myself glancing at the clock and realized that it was almost time for
him to leave. Disappointment flooded through me and I felt a frown
cross my lips before I could stop it. Nathaniel just kept this
wicked, little smile on his face.

“
I
can assure you that if you request it, I won't listen in on your
conversations.”
I bet you're wrong about that. You'd
definitely want to hear about these ones,
I thought, but I said
nothing aloud.

“
Thanks.
I'll try to keep that in mind.” I took another sip of coffee.
“I was thinking, on Sunday, when you come back, if you'd be
willing to teach me to shoot. I don't need to learn anything
fancy, just how to point and click in case … in case anything
happens.”
In case I have to shoot Gary in an altercation.
In that scenario, the gun wouldn't be the problem, my emotions
would. I just didn't know if I'd be able to do it.

“
Of
course,” Nathaniel said and I could see that he was more than
happy to oblige. He put his hands on the countertop and paused for a
moment, running his tongue subconsciously across his lower lip. My
eyes followed the motion and then flickered away to stare at one of
Rhea's drawings on the refrigerator. “I don't mean to alarm
you, but can I make a suggestion?” I nodded. “If this
doesn't stop soon, I think you should consider applying for a CHL.”
I stared at Nathaniel and tried not to squeeze the ceramic mug too
tightly.

“
What
makes you think I'd need to carry a concealed weapon?” I asked,
trying to sound nonchalant, but instead I think I sounded angry. Not
at Nathaniel but at Gary.

“
Just
as a precaution,” he said as he dropped his hands by his sides.
“I know he hasn't tried anything yet, but that could be
because I'm here. If you were to stop by your office in the evening
or on a weekend … ” I cut Nathaniel off, determined not
to go there.

“
Thanks
for the advice,” I said and although it came out sounding a bit
snippy, I really meant it. “I'll look into that.” I set
my coffee cup on the counter at the same moment the doorbell rang.
Nathaniel answered it without another word and welcomed a stoic
Cedric into the living room. The two of them whispered for a moment
before they both came back over to talk to me. “He's still out
there, isn't he?” I asked. It was Nathaniel that answered me.

“
He's
touring the house across the street.”

“
Are
you fucking kidding me?” I snapped. The house opposite mine
was the gem of the neighborhood with a backyard full of fruit trees
and three stories of brand new siding that towered over my little
rental and threw it in shadows during the best part of the day. It
had been up for sale for quite awhile now, lost in a drowning housing
market. Gary and I had planned on buying it because I loved the
neighborhood. That was just weeks before I'd left him. Like I said,
cold turkey. He hadn't given me a warning or a transition period.
He had just changed into a different person and left me reeling. “He
can't possibly still be considering buying it.” Nathaniel and
Cedric glanced at each other, but neither of them said a thing. I
slammed my coffee cup down on the counter and tried to control the
font of rage that had just opened up inside of me. “I'm going
over there,” I said suddenly. My fear of Gary had just
dissipated in a cloud of anger.

“
I
wouldn't advise that,” Nathaniel said as I moved past him and
grabbed my coat from a hook near the front door. He follo
wed
after me, Cedric in tow, but didn't stop me as I opened the door and
started towards the street. “The way he's been acting lately
is a bad sign, Theresa. He's like a bomb that's ready to explode.”
I ignored Nathaniel, even as he kept pace with me, a perfect column
of darkness in his suit, hair showing the slightest hint of red when
the sun hit it.