Broken Gates (4 page)

Bryn’s cool assessing gaze met mine, and my face heated with shame as he spoke. “I see that it’s not going to take you long before you’re mated with him then. Good.”

He might as well have slapped me. “
Good?
You can’t mean that!” I struggled to breathe. “
He
kissed
me
, I want you—I love you! You know that! Bryn please!” I began to feel lightheaded from lack of oxygen, if only I could manage a couple normal deep breaths.

“We’re not going to have this discussion. I want you to move on, just like I’m going to . . . with Nala.”

I opened and closed my mouth, unable to find my voice, the shock of what he was saying almost too much for me to handle. “Bryn, no,” I rasped when I finally found my voice. “Don’t do this. I’ve known you since we were both five years old. I know you think by pushing my buttons, by using Nala, I’ll get angry and mate with Khol . . . Just please . . . stop.”

“So maybe I don’t have any real feelings for her, and maybe what I said to you before was true.” When he finally met my eyes again, there were so many dark emotions swimming in his sea storm eyes that I couldn’t see the old Bryn—
my
Bryn—in them at all. “But I want you to mate with him, and if giving myself to Nala is the only way I can make that happen”—he bared his teeth at me in a mock smile—“then I’ll do it. Make no mistake about that.”

“Bryn.” His name rolled over my tongue and out of my mouth in a hushed whisper, carrying with it a silent plea that I could somehow make him see what a huge mistake he was making.

“I was born to be your Guardian, and I swore to myself once that I would do whatever it took to protect you, even if it meant protecting you from myself.” He turned and took a step toward the door. “I’m just not strong enough—not powerful enough—not good enough to be with you. I just wish I had accepted that from day one. It would have saved us both a lot of pain.” Khol chose that moment to return and he stepped into my room, pausing near Bryn. The two of them shared a very male look before Bryn left without so much as another word to me. I stared after him, hating Khol freshly in that moment.

“We must make plans for your journey,” he said coolly, in an all business tone. He was a very wise dragon to not push me any more in that moment. He knew I’d talk to him about the task I was assigned by the missing Dragon Queen from my vision, but little else.

“And where exactly am I going?” I grated.

“She will let us know where and when it’s time.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked with a sinking feeling in my stomach.

“It means we have a lot to talk about,” Khol said as he closed my bedroom door behind him.

4

“Knock, knock,” Jenna said as she walked right into my room and flopped onto my bed.

“You know saying
knock, knock
and then walking right into someone’s room is not the same thing as
actually
knocking and waiting for a reply.” I feigned annoyance at her, even though the truth was I missed her . . . a lot. It felt like we hadn’t had any real girl time in a long while and I had a feeling that wasn’t going to change anytime soon.

“Your door was open,” she retorted.

“No,” I said as I stuffed the last of my clean laundry into my dresser, “It just wasn’t locked.”

“Same thing.”

“Not really,” I grumbled.

“So . . . you and Bryn are really over, huh?” I froze with my back to her, my heart tripling in time.

“Why, what do you know?” Had Bryn already mated with Nala? Wouldn’t I somehow just
know
? It couldn’t all be over like that . . . could it?

“Well, he did move out of your room, didn’t he? And I’ve seen him skulking around all moody and broody. So—yeah—I connected the dots. You’re not the only one that’s known him forever.”

My knees buckled with relief, and I slid to the ground. He hadn’t mated with Nala, at least not yet. “Oh thank God,” I gasped on a sharp intake of breath. Until he did, I still had a chance, and I wouldn’t believe otherwise. I scooted around so I could face Jenna, my back resting against my dresser. “Have you seen him hanging around with any female dragons . . . like Nala maybe?” I couldn’t seem to control my morbid curiosity.

Jenna’s laugh came out sounding like a sharp bark, and she eyed me with amusement from under her black fringe of bangs. “No, he’s been avoiding all female dragons like the plague. Especially Nala. Is that what he told you? That he was going to mate with someone else?”

I averted my eyes sheepishly. “Yeah, that’s exactly what he told me. Right after he told me that he
wanted
me to mate with Khol.”

Jenna groaned and slapped her hand against her forehead. “Men, I swear. If they weren’t so useful in the bedroom, I don’t think we would keep them around at all.”

I couldn’t help the smile that cracked my face. “Yeah, I guess.” In an effort to think about something else—anything else—I was about to do the unthinkable: I was actually about to ask Jenna about her sex life. “How are you and Macon doing?” And that was all it took to send Jenna off on a male bashing tirade. She went on and on for no less than fifteen minutes . . . For most of it I tuned her out until the end, when something caught my attention.

“And you know male dragons aren’t any different than any other males out there. They get all weird and possessive, and they freak out if you even talk to a friend that happens to be a guy.” She sighed loudly. “I just don’t know what to do.”

I felt my lips turn up in a wry smile. “Yeah, uh-huh . . . so who is he?” Jenna batted her dark eyelashes over her large brown eyes that appeared to be limpid pools of innocence. I knew better. “Don’t give me that face. Just spill it.”

She rolled onto her back and heaved another loud sigh. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Reeeally? Are you actually going to try and pull that crap with me? I may not be a Speaker, but I know
you
.”

Jenna rolled over again onto her stomach so that she was facing me and perched her face on her hands. “I like Macon and all, maybe even more than
like
him, but we can never really be together. He’s a dragon and well . . . I’m not. He can’t mate with me.”

“So? It’s not like you can mate with anyone else either—you’re human,” I said as I rolled my eyes at her. This whole dragon mating thing may have seemed like an awesome thing in the beginning but now . . . not so much.

“So? Let me explain this to you P.J.—
he can
. He can mate with someone. How do you think I would feel if he felt the pull of some female dragon’s powers and because he can’t mate with me went off and hooked up with her? That could happen, and no one can tell me otherwise.”

“Yeah, okay, point taken. So this other guy isn’t a dragon . . .” My mind started shuffling through the very few possibilities that could fit that bill at the moment. And then it hit me.
Holy Crap!
“Jeremy. It’s Jeremy, isn’t it?” Wow. I most definitely did not see that one coming.

“No!” Jenna snapped back much too quickly. She began studying my bedspread very intently. “And even if it was . . . I can’t let Macon know until I’ve broken things off with him . . . He would kill . . . whoever.”

Whoever my ass!
I internally huffed. Jenna was always getting so indignant when I didn’t spill all my inner most secrets to her, and yet she wouldn’t even come out and tell me that some kind of secret relationship was blooming between her and Jeremy. “Fine, whatever. But I don’t wanna hear another word . . . ever . . . about me keeping things from you.” I stood and stalked over to my closet. I felt a small pang in my chest when I looked at the empty left side where Bryn’s clothes used to hang. Why had I come over here again?

“Don’t be mad. I can’t help it,” Jenna groused.

My attention was suddenly diverted to a delicious mouthwatering aroma that was currently wafting through the air. “What is that smell?” I lifted my head and sniffed, following the scent like one of those cartoon characters led by their noses. It didn’t take me long to find the source of the delectable aroma—it was coming from a plate that Jeremy was carrying past my room with a steak and some other sides on it. I snatched the plate from him and attacked it like a wild animal. I noted his surprised face in the back of my mind as I gobbled down the entire meal, with my bare hands, in less than five minutes. When I was all finished, as I licked at my bloodied fingers, I looked up to see Jenna and Jeremy both staring at me with worry on their faces.

It was Jeremy that spoke first. “Does Bryn know?”

“Know what?” I asked as my stomach clenched unpleasantly. I rubbed my belly and frowned as a sudden wave of nausea hit me. “Oh my God, I think I’m going to be sick again.” I scrambled to make it to the bathroom, and luckily made it just in time to throw up the entire meal I had just eaten into the sink. I was going for the toilet . . . but oh well . . . at least it wasn’t on the floor.

Both Jenna and Jeremy crowded into the bathroom seconds behind me and Jenna gathered up my hair, but it seemed like my feelings of nausea had passed just as quickly as they had hit. I rinsed my mouth out with some mouthwash and turned to face my friends with embarrassment. I really hated getting sick in front of people. “Sorry guys. I think I must be coming down with something, or maybe it’s left over ickiness from the coma.”

Jeremy studied my face for a minute with furrowed brows. He finally seemed to come to some conclusion and shock washed across his face. “You don’t know, do you?”

“Know what?” Both Jenna and I asked at the same time.

“That you’re . . .” He paused to look around and pushed the bathroom door shut behind us, which clicked closed ominously. “That you’re pregnant,” he whispered.

“I’m not pregnant!” I squeaked as I felt all of the color drain from my face.

“Of course you’re not,” Jenna said reassuringly, while she shot Jeremy a nasty glare. “Why would you upset her by saying something like that?”

“Because it’s true,” Jeremy said as he eyed us both warily like we might attack him at any moment.

“And you would know that becau—?” Jenna clamped her mouth shut mid sentence and turned to deliver me a stricken look.

“What?” I squeaked, a feeling of complete and utter dread settling over me.

“Jenna just remembered how I could know. I even knew when you were a virgin, P.J., remember? Just from reading your energies.” His eyes darted around the room and he cleared his throat. “That’s how I know you’re pregnant.”

“No, that’s not possible . . .” My voice trailed off as something very pertinent occurred to me. In all of the madness that had happened before with Khol claiming me, me trying to take my own life, me mating with Bryn . . . I might have missed a few of my birth control pills. And then something else occurred to me. “What if it’s not Bryn’s?” Khol and I had been together once, but that’s all it takes sometimes.

“You’re not far enough along,” Jeremy replied. “It’s definitely Bryn’s.”

Oh God
 . . . I was pregnant with Bryn’s child and he had just broken things off with me. What was I going to do? “Don’t tell him,” I croaked. “Don’t tell anyone.”

“He deserves to know,” Jeremy stated firmly.

“No he doesn’t,” I said between clenched teeth as I gripped the sides of the sink and met my own eyes in the reflection of the mirror. “He walked away from me, and I’m not going to be one of those pathetic girls who uses a pregnancy to force her ex to get back with her.” I flicked my gaze to both Jenna and Jeremy’s in the mirror. “He either wants me or he doesn’t.” Silence enveloped the bathroom and I gulped down the bile that rose up in my throat. “Promise me,” I whispered. “Just promise me,” I said again with a little bit more force.

“I promise,” Jenna immediately responded, but Jeremy remained silent.

“Jeremy, please. Be my friend like you said you were going to be.” I turned to look him directly in the eyes but he turned his head. “Please,” I rasped.

“Jeremy, just promise her,” Jenna growled.

“I can’t,” he mumbled. “I just can’t. He has the right to know.”

Desperate for a way to at least stall him from telling Bryn, I grasped at straws. “At least wait. Give me some time. Let what’s going to play out, play out.”

“But it could make a difference in what he decides.”

“Exactly!” I exclaimed with exasperation. “And I don’t want it to! I need for him to decide about me without this influencing him!”

“So you would risk him and you mating to other dragons when you could prevent it—”

“It’s not that simple,” I interjected before he could finish. “I want him to be with me for me and no other reason. I love him too much for anything less. I would always wonder if he was only with me because of the child.” Most girls if faced with my situation would use the pregnancy to win Bryn back, but not me. I’d never been normal. Besides what if finding out I was pregnant with his child had the opposite effect? He was already willing to let me mate with Khol because he thought he wasn’t strong enough to protect me, how would he feel if he knew it wouldn’t just be me he was protecting anymore?

Jeremy shifted uncomfortably under my and Jenna’s stares. “Fine.” He finally caved. “I won’t go and just tell him, but if he asks—”

“Why would he ask?” Jenna snapped. “Now you’re just being ridiculous.”

“I’ll take it,” I said on an exhale of relief. It may not have been exactly what I wanted, but it was close enough, at least for the time being. Besides Jenna was right, I doubted Bryn would ever ask anyone in passing if I was pregnant, especially Jeremy. “Now”—I turned toward the door on shaky legs—“I need to go lay down for awhile or something. This is all just—too much.”

“We’ll help you,” Jenna said with a false cheer to her voice. I could tell she was just as much in shock as I was. I was the responsible one after all. Well, at least I used to be. I always thought that if one of us got pregnant, it would be her.

I opened the door to find Khol standing on the other side with a wild look in his eyes. He reached out and snatched me up into his arms before I could even blink and the next thing I knew we were in another room . . . not mine . . . but his. “I guess you know?” I mumbled, already knowing the answer. Of course he would have picked up the information through our connection.
Duh
.

He set me down on his bed gingerly as if I might break. “It could be mine.”

I rolled my eyes.
Men
. “No, it can’t. Jeremy, who happens to be an energy reader extraordinaire, says that I’m not far enough along for it to possibly be yours.”

“The gestation period of a dragon is different than a human’s.”

I squeezed my eyes together tightly. “Of course it is.” And of course, Jeremy wouldn’t know that, just like I wouldn’t.

“You being half dragon, and me being full-blooded, if it was mine, the pregnancy would progress more slowly despite you being part human because the child would be mostly dragon. I would imagine if it were Bryn’s, then the pregnancy would happen more along the human time line.”

“So what you’re telling me,” I said with my eyes still closed, “is that the child I’m carrying could be either of yours?”

“Yes,” Khol grunted. I could tell he wasn’t any more pleased with the situation than I was.

“Maybe I just shouldn’t have it,” I whispered more to myself than him.

He responded with a low growl that bounced off the walls and made me cringe away from him as I squinched my eyes closed even tighter. “You will not end your pregnancy no matter who the father is.”

My eyes snapped open as anger began to boil my blood. Who was he to tell me what to do with
my
body? “Why not?” I glared into his angry glowing eyes that burned brighter than any high beams I’d ever seen. “It’s
my
body and
my
choice.”

He leaned into me and took me by the shoulders, another growl erupting from his chest. “It could be
my
child, and therefore
I
have a say.”

“No—you don’t. Especially if it’s yours. What happened between us, even though I technically accepted it . . . it was about as close to rape without actually being rape as it could be.” It was a tad more complicated than that, but I wanted to hurt him, and that was a sure fire way to do it.

“Please,” his face softened to show the pain that was really fueling his anger. “I will take care of you . . . and the child . . . no matter who the father is. I will love you and the baby until the end of time.” I’d never seen Khol look so vulnerable before. I could see in his face exactly how much he wanted me . . . and my child for his own. I knew in that moment that he would do exactly what he promised . . . unlike Bryn . . . and he would never walk away from me. Maybe the best choice for me, and my child, would be mating with Khol. He would be strong enough to protect us, to keep us completely safe.
Wait
 . . . what was I thinking? Were my hormones already making me lose control of my sanity?
Maybe that’s what happened before too?

“Your dragon instincts are taking over in order to protect your child. That part of you knows what would be best for you . . .” Khol reached out his large warm hand and placed it on my stomach. “And for the child.”