Broken Gates (15 page)

“No!” I heard someone roar with outrage, but it was far away, much too far away to care.

“Peej! How could you do this? How could you let this happen?” Another voice sounded from much too far away. “Save her!”

But I was just sleepy . . . too sleepy to care.

I came to in my bed, the sheets clinging to my sweaty body, and my hair plastered to my face. Why was my mind insistent on showing me things like that? I thought I had memories such as the first time I was with Khol and the night I tried to take my own life suppressed far enough down that I wouldn’t be plagued with such nightmares. What was the point? What was my subconscious trying to tell me this time? It was clear that it had shown me my first times both with Khol and Bryn . . . as what . . . a comparison? Did I want myself to remember how I used to feel about the both of them as opposed to what I felt now? Did I want myself to remember the type of love I felt for Bryn that led to my attempted suicide solely for his happiness.
That was before he walked away from you
, a not so helpful voice in my mind offered.
No
. Suddenly it felt like an internal light switch had been flipped on. A feeling of resolution settled over me . . . finally.

Real love, true love . . . the kind of life altering love that Bryn and I share just doesn’t go away that easily. That kind of love takes root in your heart and spreads throughout every fiber of your being. That kind of love makes you feel only half alive whenever the other person isn’t around. That’s what Bryn and I have, and it shouldn’t matter that he walked away from me. It shouldn’t matter that he was acting on some misplaced sense of duty to protect me—because he did those things out of love. He loves me just as much as he always has; he’s just an idiot is all.

I laughed out loud. Of course, that part has always been true as well. It’d be different if he had cheated on me, or abused me, or some other unforgivable offense. I thought Bryn had been the one to break our relationship, but maybe the truth was that we had both done that. But the kind of love that Bryn and I shared could fix anything. Had
The Princess Bride
taught me nothing? I loved Khol, the man that he’d become for me, but I could never love him the way that I loved Bryn. I was kidding myself to think so. Bryn and I had promised each other always, and I wasn’t going to let my own insecurities stand in the way of that, or his for that matter either. When I saw Khol and Bryn again, I would let them know my decision. I would let them know that it would be Bryn or no one for me . . .
always
.

14

“I heard you cry out in your sleep again last night,” Nala said conversationally as she stepped into the bathroom. She came to stand behind me as I worked on curling my hair. I was attempting to better blend the hair extensions into my crone style white hair.
Attempting
being the keyword.

I shrugged without taking my eyes off of my own reflection, and the tedious task at hand. “I had a nightmare.”

“Every night this week?”

“Yeah, what of it?” It wasn’t like she really cared about my mental health. Sure, she seemed to care about me and my unborn child’s physical health, but that was probably just to protect her own hide. We both knew what would become of her if she let anything happen to me when she could have prevented it.

Probably sensing she wasn’t going to get any more out of me about my nightmares, Nala wisely changed the subject. “Have you been drinking your tea?”

It was then I did meet her blue eyes in the reflection of the mirror. “No. And you know I haven’t because it’s plain to see that the supply hasn’t been diminishing.” Before she could say anything, I cut her off. “But the morning sickness symptoms seem to have passed, so I don’t think I need it anymore.” I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at her when I was done talking. How very mature of me.

A flash of something I couldn’t quite decipher crossed her face before she slumped casually against the door jam. Maybe just a little too casually. “It’s probably best to be sure. You don’t want to raise suspicions, do you?”

“I’m done with that heinous tea,” I responded flatly. That stuff alone could serve as a form of birth control. Just let the would-be-mom get a whiff of that stuff and tell her she’d have to drink it every day to prevent morning sickness and she might rethink the whole wanting to have kids thing . . . forever. “Damn it!” I swore when I caught some hair in my bracelet for the umpteenth time. I set the curling iron down and pulled the pieces of hair out of the bracelet that were still attached to my head. Sadly, a few didn’t make it and I let them drop into the sink.

“Why don’t you just take that off until you’re done with your hair?” Nala asked in a tone one might use to talk to a small child.

“I would if I could,” I said, ignoring her condescending attitude and setting back in to finish doing my hair. It took me so much longer than when Jenna did it, and it never looked even half as good either. “If I take it off, Khol would be here probably before I even set it down.” I sighed and turned the curling iron off. My hair was about as good as it was going to get—with me being the stylist anyways.

Nala looked up sharply at me. “What do you mean?”

Wow. She really was afraid of Khol, wasn’t she? “Don’t worry, my birth mother let me know that I wasn’t to take it off at all. She—”

“Is that why he can’t find you?” Nala interjected. Her face visibly went a few shades paler than it had been a moment ago.

I rolled my eyes. “Yes. But like I said, there’s no reason to worry. My—”

“No,” she interrupted me . . . again.
Rude much?
“That’s not what I’m asking, entirely.
How
does it keep him from tracking you?”

I gritted my teeth and decided not to scold her for interrupting me—twice in a row. I guess she was just worried. “It breaks the connection that exists between Khol and me . . . He can’t sense my emotions, and he can’t track me. He’s totally cut off.”

Her eyes flared a brighter dragon blue before she looked away from me and mumbled to herself. “
All
connection to him.
Shit
.”

“What?” I said with alarm as I tried to interpret the dark expression on her face.

“Nothing,” she said with irritation as she spun on her heel to leave. “Don’t worry about it.”

Before I had a chance to say anything else, the door to the room that she’d been staying in slammed shut behind her. I stared after her for a moment before letting my gaze drop to the shiny bronze bracelet that was fitted perfectly on my wrist. I let the fingers of my right hand run idly over the delicate markings I was convinced meant something, I just wasn’t sure what. I wondered how much longer I’d have to wear it. Not that it wasn’t pretty, it was just that I hated being forced to do . . . well practically anything.

My phone beeped signaling me that I had a text. I hit the unlock code and read the message from Laila. “Be there in 5.”

“K,” was my quick reply. I gave myself one more once over in the mirror before heading out of the bathroom. My hair looked somewhat presentable . . . At least it was better than the first couple of times I’d attempted to style it. My make-up also was done . . . adequately. I still hadn’t figured out my new color palate completely, but that was only something time would fix. My black lace tee fit me snuggly, showing off the few curves I did have, but it wasn’t too tight, and looked the right combination of dressy and casual when paired with the dark low-waisted jeans I had on. The dragon pendant from Khol sat at the perfect level to draw more attention to my cleavage than I probably wanted, but I refused to leave it behind. My outfit was completed with a pair of knee high, low heeled, black, zip-up boots. It was warmer this time of year than I was used to, but I wasn’t wearing open-toes shoes going into a nest of Riders. What if I needed to run, or kick, or something? One did not wear open-toed shoes of any kind when heading into enemy territory of the alien kind. If there was a how to survive a party with alien Riders somewhere, I’m sure that rule would be in it. Once I was satisfied that I looked the best I could under the circumstances, I made my way outside to wait for Laila on the front porch of the creepy Murder House.

I was only outside for a minute or two when a big black pickup truck pulled into the driveway. The window rolled down, and Laila’s blonde head peeked out. “Well, are you coming, or what?” she said with excitement laced into the tone of her voice.

I shut my mouth and shook my head. What had I expected, a Volkswagen Bug or something? She might remind me of Jenna at times, but she most certainly wasn’t her, not by a long shot. I went and opened the door to the massive truck and pulled myself up into it, barely managing to shut the door before Laila was burning rubber to get out of my driveway and to the party. I for one would have preferred a more leisurely pace; I wasn’t one to rush off to the end of the world . . . even if it was only the theme of a party. Once I had my seatbelt in place, I turned to eye Laila’s outfit. She had gone with a cute little red dress and cowboy boots. Ugh. I knew it seemed to be the style down here, but I cringed every time I saw a girl rocking out cowboy boots with a skirt. But then again, maybe I should have tried a little harder to blend in. I tried to picture myself in similar attire and cringed. Nope . . . never going to happen.

“You look nice,” Laila said interrupting my inner fashion diva. “Just how far along are you anyways; you don’t seem to be showing at all.”

I bit my lower lip. That was the million-dollar question, wasn’t it? If I actually knew how far along I was then I would know who the father of my unborn child was . . . maybe . . . There was still that whole dragon versus human gestation difference thing. Not that it mattered anymore though, I’d already made up my mind that I would be with Bryn, no matter who the father was. I just hoped Khol and Bryn both would go along with that, especially if Khol turned out to, in fact, be the daddy. “I’m not exactly sure.” I decided to go with another partial truth. “If I knew exactly then I would know who the father is.”

Laila nodded, keeping her eyes on the road. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”

I slumped down in my seat, hating that Laila had reminded me of my “who’s the daddy” predicament. Not that it was ever entirely from my mind lately, but even still, I didn’t want to focus on something I couldn’t do anything to change. “Yeah, um, talking about that doesn’t really put me in the partying mood.”

Laila’s cheeks flushed a dark crimson that I could easily see with only the aid of the streetlights we were passing under. “Sorry,” she mumbled.

“It’s okay.” We then sat in an awkward silence that lasted until Laila flicked on the radio and I let out a loud groan. “Please, no. Not country. I think my morning sickness is going to make a dramatic comeback.” Laila glanced at me before looking back at the road and we both laughed. I’m guessing turning on the radio hadn’t broken the awkward silence in the way that she had planned, but it had gotten the job done in the end. “So how much longer?” I glanced at the clock on the dash and realized we’d only been driving for five minutes. It seemed like much longer. I guess the feeling of dread that had settled over me made time feel like it was dragging on.

“We’re almost there. This isn’t that big of a town.”

“I’ve noticed,” I grumbled. In comparison to Pittsburgh, Spring Hill made me feel like I was practically out in the middle of nowhere. A perfectly good place for a nest of Riders to take up residence, I mentally noted.
No one will hear you scream
.

“That’s Cliff’s place, up on the right,” Laila said a few minutes later. Even if she hadn’t pointed it out to me, it would have been kind of hard to miss with all the cars parked out front. She pulled neatly into a spot at the end of the row and turned the truck off. As she slid from her seat and hopped down to the curb, I took a moment to gather myself. I could do this. I had kick ass powers inside of me that I didn’t even fully comprehend yet.
Yeah, and you don’t know how to use them either,
that stupid little annoying voice in my head added. I was really starting to hate that voice. I clenched and unclenched my fists before unbuckling my seatbelt and sliding from the truck cab. Laila was waiting for me on the sidewalk, reapplying a peachy gloss to her lips with the aid of a tiny compact. With a soft snick she closed it, dropped it into her small messenger bag and looked up at me. “You think about how you’re going to explain not drinking without sounding lame?”

“Medication?” I looked at her with doubt.

Her face scrunched up as she considered that option as a viable lie. “I guess it’s the best you’ve got. And with what happened the other day, it could just work.” She then fidgeted with the hem of her skirt one last time before turning to lead the way to Cliff’s.

My legs seemed to protest my intentions with every step I took, my feet suddenly feeling a thousand times heavier than normal. I felt like I should be reciting some verse from the
Bible
or something.
Yea though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil . . .
Wait . . . how did the rest go again? I brought my hand up to encircle the dragon pendant, for a moment its warmth was comforting to me, that is, until I actually stood at the threshold of Cliff’s house. If felt strange going to a party without Jenna, and without Bryn at least waiting for me inside somewhere. The last party I’d actually attended had been the night I’d nearly been raped by a guy who I didn’t even know, and I had finally figured out my true feelings for Bryn. It had been a turning point in my life, and this party had all the signs of being another kind of turning point for me. I just hoped that it would turn me in a positive direction when all was said and done.

I could tell Laila was almost as nervous as I was because she hadn’t said a word to me all the way up the front walk. I wondered how she would feel if she knew what she was really walking into. We both hesitated at the front door, and it was me who finally found the courage to reach for the doorknob first. My breath caught in my throat as I turned the knob and pushed the door open. But just like any other normal high school party, we were greeted by loud music and even louder talking. I’m not really sure what I expected, but it all seemed entirely
too
normal. Laila clutched at my arm as we entered, and damn if she wasn’t latched on tight enough to draw blood.

“Hey, ladies,” Cliff drawled, as if appearing from out of nowhere. Creepy much? As if having a Rider inside of him wasn’t bad enough, he had to pull that weird stalker-ish thing guys do that’s only cute when you actually like them. Bryn and Khol were both very skilled at it. “Was wondering when you two would show up,” he said while he looked at me, making clear who he really was addressing. “You want something to drink?”

“Yes,” Laila said.

“No,” I said at the same exact time. When Cliff raised his eyebrows at me, I felt the need to explain. “Medication, remember? I really don’t wanna get sick again.”

Cliff smiled at me good-naturedly. “Right. Don’t want you ruining any more of my shoes.”

I lifted my head up to glare at Cliff and the stupid Rider inside of him that were both seemingly amused with their little comment. “Come on Laila; let’s go get you something to drink.” I tugged her along, not really sure where I was going.

“Awe, come on Paige. I didn’t mean nothin’ by that,” Cliff said as he followed behind us. “Besides, the kitchen is the other way.”

Without acknowledging him, I pivoted on my heel, taking Laila with me and headed in the opposite direction. “This is going to be a long night,” I mumbled under my breath. I sent up a silent prayer that I would find what I was looking for and that this would all be worth it.

I stopped short when I got to our destination, all the hairs on my body standing to attention—every single person in the kitchen had a Rider inside of them.
Every. Single. One.
“Oh, God,” I said as I swiped my sweaty palm over my mouth in horror. There was no way I was going to be able to handle this.

“Are you not feeling good again?” Laila whispered to me under her breath.

“More than you know,” I whispered back through gritted teeth.

“You gonna be sick again?”

“I’m way beyond that point.” I forced myself to stand up straighter and to don an air of false confidence. “Now let’s get you that drink.” How’s that saying go? Fake it until you make it? I wasn’t sure if I was that good of an actress, but I was damned sure going to try to be.

“Okaaay,” Laila said, drawing the word out to let me know she didn’t exactly know what was up with me.
That would make two of us
.

As we strode toward an ice chest obviously filled with various kinds of alcoholic libations by the way everyone seemed to be orbiting around it, Cliff scrambled to get ahead of us. “Hey, what can I get you then, Paige? A coke, or sweet tea, or water, or something?”

My lips turned up in a wry smile. Oh, how sweet, the alien wanted to play host to me. Too bad my whole planet had already been doing that, and I was so over it. “Nothing, thanks.”