Broken Dreams (Franklin Blues #2) (14 page)

I set my plan into motion as I climb into bed for the night. After tossing and turning for a while, I finally fall asleep.

“Amy, Love where are you?” I’ve been looking everywhere for her, and I can’t seem to find her. I’m walking around the backyard and I see her. She turns around, her red hair swinging from one shoulder to the next. She is smiling at me and rubbing her hand against her protruding belly. She’s glowing with happiness, and my chest swells with pride knowing I am the one who made her that happy. I’m the one who put that smile on her face.

“Hey Baby, how are my loves today? You taking it easy like the doctor told you to?”

She rolls her eyes at me. God, she looks so sexy when she gets feisty on me.

“Yes Daddy, your son and I are fine. He’s kicking up a storm today. Here, feel this.”

She puts my hand under her ribcage, and right as my hand makes contact, I feel a little kick against it. Hell yeah, my son is in there making his presence known. I look up in awe at the woman who is carrying my child, and she smiles back with tears in her eyes.

“Baby, that’s amazing. I have to say I’m a little jealous that you get to feel that all the time.”

“Is that so? Well, I will gladly change places with you. This little guy seems to think my bladder is a soccer ball because he likes to kick the shit out of it. I’m huge and I can’t see my ankles anymore. So if you want to trade places, I’m good with that. I’d kill to have my old body back.”

I smile and shake my head at her. As much as I’d love to trade places with her, I don’t think I could deal with all that. She giggles at me, and I pull her to my chest, kissing the breath right out of her.

I hear my alarm go off, and can’t stop smiling at the dream I had. It’s going to happen, even if it kills me, I’m going to put my girl back together. I’m going to make her smile again.

Amy

I wake up to the sound of loud banging. I think I also hear a drill too but I’m not awake enough to figure out what’s going on. I sit up in bed and rub the sleep out of my eyes. I then look around the room and the curtains are still drawn so I’m not even sure what time it is. Next think I know, the door is gone. I look over and see Lance standing there, smiling at me.

“Good morning Sunshine! I hope I didn’t wake you, but I had to get this door open. You are no longer allowed to avoid me. You are going to come out of that room today if it kills me to get you to do it. You need to realize that I’m still here. Getting stuck in your own head isn’t healthy Baby.”

I glare, yes glare, at him. If looks could kill, I’m pretty sure he’d be dead right now. I’m trying to make daggers come out of my eyes, I’m glaring so hard.

“Look Lance, I have no idea what you think is going to happen here, but whatever it is, I can tell you it isn’t going to happen. You think because you took a damn door off its hinges that I’m going to go on with life like nothing happened? I lost a fucking baby; I put too much pressure on myself and I fucking lost it. Not you, but me. As a matter of fact, for someone who was so excited about the damn thing, you’re moving on awfully fast. You’re acting like nothing happened and this is a typical day. Are you relieved that you’re not stuck with me anymore? That you don’t have to worry about having to be with me because I was carrying your kid? Well Mr. Underwood, congrats, you don’t have to be strapped down to me anymore.”

I barely get the words all the way out before he’s in my face. I can tell he’s pissed, but I also see the hurt behind those deep brown eyes.

“Now you listen and you listen good, I get that you’re heartbroken over losing
our
baby because that’s just it, we
both
lost that baby. Do you hear me? I am as upset as you are. Amy, when I told you I loved you I meant it. You have no idea how much I love you. I’m hurting too, but we have to move on, Baby. We will get the chance again to have another baby. If it can happen once, it will happen again, that’s the only thing that’s keeping me together right now, but I want you to get something through that thick ass skull of yours, are you listening?”

I nod because I’ve never had him talk to me like this. I’m not sure what else I can do other than nod.

“Now that I seem to have your full attention, you are not the only one feeling loss right now. It rips my heart open that we lost the baby; I was so excited to have a mini you or me running around. I was hoping for a little red headed little girl who looks exactly like her momma. I would spoil her rotten, and she’d have me wrapped around her finger, like you do. There isn’t anything I won’t do for you. The one thing I will not do though is let you continue down this path of self-destruction. It’s not healthy for you to feel this way; you need to let the emotions out. I’m here for you. I’ll be your shoulder to lean on, and when you’re ready, we’ll try again.”

I stiffen at his last statement. I know that there’s no way that I will be able to try again. I’m done trying because I can’t take this heartbreak anymore. I will never take that chance again. The other stuff he says makes sense though; I can’t keep doing this to myself. I feel my eyes start to water, and before I know it, tears are falling down my face. I try to cover my face, but Lance isn’t having any of it. He takes my hands and places them around his waist while I cry into his chest. All of a sudden I’m airborne, and then I feel him sit on the bed. I’m sitting on his lap as the sobs rack through my body. He rubs one hand up and down my back while the other hand is holding my head in place. I feel my eyes start to dry up, and I look at Lance’s face. He looks as grief stricken as I do, and I immediately feel bad for going off on him and start to apologize. He must be able to tell what I’m going to say because he starts talking first.

“Amy, I can tell that you are feeling bad about yelling at me, and honestly, that’s what I was hoping for. I want you to feel other emotions besides the ones you were feeling. This was my plan all along and I’m thankful it worked. I was hoping it wouldn’t back fire on me, and now that that’s out of the way, I do need to ask you something.”

He looks at me and I’m pretty sure I’m not going to like this conversation.

“Last night when Hailee was here and you wouldn’t let her in your room, she thought she heard you talking to someone about leaving. So I need to know, are you planning on leaving me?”

He question hits me straight in the gut. I was hoping I wasn’t talking that loud, but I guess I was louder than I thought. I know I need to be honest with him even if he’s not going to like it.

“Well, let me start at the beginning, of me leaving to go on that ‘job’ that I was called to last minute,” and I go into detail about my time back in my old town. I tell him about seeing Momma Lisa again and how good it felt to see her again. I told him about seeing Jeremy again, and the miscarriage. I tell him about Jeremy acting like he was the father while I was in the hospital until I made him leave. His jaw tightens on that part, but I keep going. I tell him about meeting Aaron for the first time and confusing him for Lance. I tell him everything that happened and my phone call with Lisa.

“Amy, I can understand why you would want to leave, but please tell me you’ve changed your mind. I can’t lose you too. I’ve already lost so much that I can’t let you walk out of my life. I will beg and plead with you every day until you come home. You belong here with me, in this house, forever.”

I feel the tears again, only this time it’s out of shame that I would even consider leaving him. I now realize that he’s the only person who can help me get over this loss that I’m going though because he’s going through it too.

“Lance, I couldn’t leave you now if I tried. I can’t believe I ever thought I could leave you. I need you to get through this. Jeremy never tried helping me through the depression; he thought I’d get over it. Now that I think about, I really don’t think he wanted to have kids with me anyways.” I sigh and put my head against his chest. We sit like that for what seems like forever before he starts to get up, taking me with him. I look at him like he’s lost his marbles and ask what he’s going.

“We are going to get some breakfast. Don’t worry, I won’t ask you to cook. I’ll cook for you.”

“Babe? You burn toast, or have you forgotten? Why don’t you let me cook for you? I know how much you love my made from scratch French toast.”

He looks at me like he’s offended, but we both know he’s not. “Okay woman, you convinced me. Now get to work and make your man some food, pronto.”

I shake my head as I walk away from him, that boy is absolutely crazy, but God knows I love him. For the first time in about a week, I actually laugh a real laugh. I was so stupid for thinking I could ever leave him behind.

Lance

The past month has been nothing short of amazing. I’ve been making Amy fall in love with me again and I can totally tell it is working. I mean come on, I knew she couldn’t resist me. Okay now I sound like some conceited jackass, but I am so happy we are moving on. I mean the loss of the baby still hangs in the air, but it’s bearable to think about now.

Last night we went to Hailee and Shawn’s. Mason came over with some of his buddies and we grilled out like old times. I remember looking over at Amy and saw her smiling and laughing at something Shawn had said; she was even holding Scar. My heart swelled knowing that day by day she’s slowing letting go of the baby that should’ve been and moving on with her life.

We’ve even gone back to her hometown so I could meet the infamous Momma Lisa. To say that she’s the funniest lady I’ve ever met is an understatement. She had me laughing so hard I nearly peed my pants. Big fat tears from all the laughing were rolling down my face. We even went to go see Aaron and Tyler. I loved seeing them together still and so in love. I’m happy to know that even my parents’ narrow mindedness couldn’t keep them apart. I found out that they went to Massachusetts and got married right after they became the first state to start recognizing gay marriage. Even though Tennessee doesn’t have it yet, it doesn’t stop them from living like a married couple. I feel a pang of sadness when I think of how I should’ve been there. Aaron says that I shouldn’t feel that way because it was his fault that I wasn’t there, not mine. It’s not like I was invited and refused to go. It’s so nice to have my big brother back in my life. I missed him more than I had originally thought.

Aaron and Tyler have even come to Franklin to meet all of our friends. They fit in with our group like they were never
not
a part of it, they blend in with everyone. I feel like this is all a dream and I’m going to wake up without Aaron back in my life. Amy says to enjoy it and stop thinking so negatively, and I know she’s right, but it’s hard when I’ve gone ten years without him. I’m trying to go with the flow of life.

The annual gala is about three weeks away, and even after telling Amy we can skip it this year, she refuses to hear of it. She said she’s already bought the dress so I have to suck it up and go. Besides, who am I do deny my woman what she wants? If she wants to go as much as I don’t want to go, then we are going. I hate that I have to wear a damn tux. I always feel like I’m being choked by the fucking collar, and let’s not mention the fact that I look like a damn penguin in it.

Today is the day that I go back to work. To say I’m not looking forward to it is an understatement. I’ve gotten used to being with Amy all day every day since the day I took the door off its hinges, and I’ve loved every minute of it. Amy has even begun to sleep in our bed, and even though we haven’t had sex yet, I’m totally okay with it. I want her to feel comfortable again, so I won’t push the issue.

“Underwood, it’s good to have you back,” I hear my captain yelling at me from his office. I go in and take a seat in the chair in front of his desk as he gets up and shuts the door.

“Underwood, how’s it going? How’s Amy doing? Is she doing any better?”

I told my captain everything that happened when I asked to take some of my vacation days. He was very understanding; he and his wife had a miscarriage before they had their son. I was thankful he let me take a month off after I recently got released to full duty, but I guess that’s one of the perks of living in a small town, there’s not a lot of crime.

“Yes sir, she’s doing much better. She’s actually really good. She’s getting really excited for this gala. I don’t know how many times I’ve tried talking her out of going because I honestly, don’t want to go. You know how much I hate the damn tuxes we have to wear, but who am I to deny her after everything,” I say, shrug my shoulders, and he laughs at me. He hates those damn suits as much as I do, but his wife helps throw the event every year, therefore there’s no way he can skip it.

“Yeah, I hear ya. Hey, the reason I called you in here is because I have a case I need you to take a look at for me. Fortunately for us, this guy hasn’t targeted anyone in Franklin yet, but the other departments want everyone on this and you’re the best one I’ve got, so please, take a look at the case file.”

I reach across the desk and take the case file out of his hands. I open it up and I’m bombarded with photos. From what I’ve read at a glance, there’s a stalker/serial killer on the loose. He targets women who have red hair, late 20s early 30s, and all around the same height of five foot five. I immediately think of Amy and how she looks exactly like these women. The photos are gruesome, and I can tell the women suffered a great deal before they were put out of their misery.

“Uh, Captain, is there another reason why you wanted me to look at this? Did you happen to notice this asshole’s type? All these women look like Amy.”

He looks at me for a minute before he nods his head.

“Lance, you’re the best detective I got, but other than that, since these women do look like Amy, I know that you will do your best work to get this bastard off the streets.”

I nod my head, stand, shake his hand and walk out of the office in a daze. I am going to find this guy because there’s no excuse for what he’s doing, and I’ll be damned if he gets to Amy.