Broken (9 page)

While we were standing there in awe, a
waitress approached us. “What would you ladies like to drink?” She
asked. She was dressed like Cyndi Lauper. She wore a poufy lace
skirt and a skimpy top that made her breasts pop out. Her hair was
all crazy. She wore a ton of blue eye shadow with a million
bracelets on her wrists. Nicole ordered a Malibu Bay Breeze and I
ordered water. Nicole looked relieved at my order. Tequila was my
usual drink of choice, but I didn't want to take a chance of me
going off the deep end again since my therapy was working so well.
I was going to try to be on my best behavior. The only reason I was
here was for Nicole, and she shouldn’t have to babysit me. The
waitress came back with our drinks, and we headed down the stairs
to the dance floor.

As my foot hit the bottom
step, I noticed a girl out of the corner of my eye. I turned my
head to get a better look. She was dressed in a super short black
mini dress, her shoes were black stilettos, and her hair was pulled
back into a tight bun. She looked like she was ready to film
the
Addicted to Love
video. I recognized her, but I couldn’t figure out from
where.

I tapped Nicole on the shoulder and
pointed the girl out to her. “Who is that?”

“I have no idea,” she said shrugging
her shoulders.

I shrugged my shoulders
too and took a sip of water. I worked with so many people between
weddings and Danny’s, it could have been anyone.
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
came on, and Nicole screamed and dragged me onto the dance
floor. We stayed on the dance floor for six or seven songs until I
pleaded with her. “I need another drink,” I yelled over George
Michael singing
The Edge of
Heaven
.

We danced our way over to the bar and
flagged the bartender down. He was dressed like Michael Jackson. He
was even wearing a red leather jacket and one sequin glove. Nicole
and I burst out laughing. He walked over with two shots in his hand
and put them in front of us. I gave him a strange look.

“
These are from them.” He
motioned with his head towards the other end of the bar. Nicole and
I looked down and saw two guys who looked like they were cast
members from an episode of Miami Vice. Each of them had on light
colored sports jackets with skinny ties around their necks. I
looked at Nicole with a skeptical look. She nodded her head giving
me the it’s ok look. We raised our shot glasses to them and drank.
I winced as the shot went down my throat and yelled to the
bartender, “A Slippery Nipple?” I gasped.

The bartender looked at me and
laughed. “That is what they ordered.”

I turned to look back at the guys that
had bought the shots and noticed they were making their way over to
us. Once they reached us Miami Vice #1 turned to the bartender and
ordered more shots. I put my hand up to stop him. “Please, not
another slippery nipple. I can’t handle another one of
those.”

Miami Vice #1 laughed, “Well, order
what you want then.”

I paused for a moment . . . “Tequila,”
I said to the bartender.

I immediately turned to see if Nicole
had heard my order. Lucky for me she was preoccupied with Miami
Vice #2. I reached for one shot, then another. Miami Vice #1
introduced himself, “Hi, I’m Jake and my friend over there is
Ryan.” He smiled extending his hand.

I smiled and clasped his hand, “I’m
Leila and Madonna over there is Nicole. Thanks for the
shots.”

“
No, problem. Would you
like to dance?” He said, leaning into me.

“
Yeah, in a few, we were
just out there for a bunch of songs. I need to take a
breather.”

I grabbed Nicole’s arm and pulled her
away from Ryan. “You want to go to the bathroom?”

She nodded her head. We turned to Jake
and Ryan. “Excuse us, we will be right back.”

As we entered the bathroom I turned to
her. “So, you and Miami Vice #2 are hitting it off,” I said
smiling.

“
Oh my fucking God. Did
you just call him Miami Vice?” She laughed hysterically.

“
Well, that is their
costume, right? Jesus, please tell me they’re wearing costumes,” I
laughed.

“
Yeah, he seems nice
enough,” Nicole replied.

I felt extremely sweaty out on the
dance floor, and I needed to cool down. I took a few paper towels
and blotted my face. Taking my lipstick out of my purse, I
re-applied it and fluffed my hair with my fingers. As I looked into
the mirror, I noticed the girl from the dance floor. This time I
remembered exactly who she was. I could feel my eyes almost popping
out of my head. She also recognized me. I could tell by the look on
her face. As soon as she left the bathroom . . . “Holy fucking
shit!” I shouted.

Nicole spun around. “What? You look
like you’ve just seen a ghost!”

“
Oh, how I wish she was a
ghost. Remember that girl I pointed out to you on the dance floor?
That’s the douche of honor that was with Garrett at the wedding!” I
began to fan my face with my hands. Not only was I hot from dancing
and seeing douchey, now I could feel the tequila working its way
into my system.

“
Fuck her!” Nicole said.
“She’s not going to ruin our night." She hooked her arm around
mine. “Come on, we have Miami Vice one and two out there. Let’s let
them buy us another drink,” she laughed.

Jake and Ryan were waiting
for us at the bar when we returned from the bathroom. They had
ordered more shots for us. After I took another shot, I looked
around for douchey. Thankfully, I didn’t see her. I let out a big
sigh of relief.
I’m going to need more
shots.
..

Everybody
by Madonna started playing. Nicole screamed,
“They’re playing one of my songs!” She grabbed Ryan’s hand, leading
him to the dance floor. Jake and I were left standing there
awkwardly.

“
You want to dance?” He
asked hesitantly.

I smiled at him. Against
my better judgment I grabbed another shot that was sitting on the
bar and slung it down my throat. Taking him by the hand I led him
to the dance floor. We joined Nicole and Ryan. The four of us had a
great time dancing and laughing. Ryan and Jake busted out into the
"Thriller Dance" when
Thriller
was played. Nicole and I laughed so hard, we had
tears running down our faces.

As we began to compose
ourselves
Careless Whisper
by Wham began to play. Jake gently took one of my
hands in his and put his other hand on my hip. He pulled me close
to him, and I felt my body tense up. I was having such a good time,
and I didn’t want to ruin it. I slowly rested my head on his
shoulder and let myself relax. He smelled good, despite all the
dancing we had done, his cologne had masked any scent of sweat. I
closed my eyes and lost myself in the song. The DJ played a few
slow songs in a row, and I took complete advantage of it. It felt
really good not to have a guy pawing all over me. I was actually
feeling normal again. I began thinking to myself maybe I could
actually have some sort of a normal relationship.

As
Save a Prayer
by Duran Duran was
ending, Jake let go of my hand and slowly lifted my chin. “You're
beautiful,” he whispered...

I rolled my eyes and laughed
nervously. I hadn’t had someone pay me a compliment sober in such a
long time. Usually, it was some drunk asshole who wanted to get
lucky by telling me I was beautiful so he could get into my pants.
Little did they know they would have wound up in my bed no matter
what.

“
No, you really are.
You’re the most beautiful girl in this room,” he said trying to
convince me.

He leaned in and gently kissed me. I
felt my body tense up again as he gripped me tighter around my
waist. He noticed. “It’s ok, I’m not going to hurt you,” he said
softly.

He kissed me again, easing his tongue
into my mouth. I slowly let all the tension from my body go and
kissed him back. It was a very soft and gentle kiss, something I
hadn’t experienced in a very long time and the butterflies in my
stomach immediately began to flutter.

As our faces parted, I felt light
headed and my eyes scanned the room for Nicole, hoping she didn’t
see what just happened. The last thing I needed from her was
another lecture. From across the dance floor I saw him. . .
Garrett. He was dancing with the douche of honor, but he was
glaring at Jake and me. My heart dropped into my stomach, and I
pushed away from Jake abruptly.

“
You ok?” He asked with
worry in his voice.

A sharp pain shot through me, I felt
like the wind had been knocked out of me. “Yeah . . . I’m fine. I
just need to go outside and get some fresh air,” I said as I slowly
walked backwards off the dance floor with my eyes locked on
Garrett’s.

Jake took a step towards me and
reached for my elbow to lead me off the dance floor. “I’ll come
with you,” he said.

“
No, you stay here. I’ll
be right back,” I lied. I was now totally freaking out.

Nicole noticed me backing off the
dance floor and saw the look on my face. “Leila?”

She turned her head to see what I was
looking at. “Oh, shit.” I heard her say. Nicole took my hand.
“We’ll be right back,” she said to Jake and Ryan. We began to rush
up the stairs and out the front door.

As we hit the parking lot, I began
shouting “Really? Out of all the clubs in this fucking state he has
to be here! With her. . . The Jersey Shore Douche of
Honor!”

Nicole was rushing through the parking
lot making a B-line for her car.

“
Move your ass, Leila!”
She yelled. “Before Miami Vice boys realize we’re not coming back
and we have to explain what just happened.”

I kicked off my shoes and began
running to the other end of the parking lot. I was cursing under my
breath at the size of the parking lot. When we finally reached her
car, I slumped into the passenger’s seat. I rested my head on the
headrest, and I closed my eyes. This was all too much for me. One
minute I was having a great time and felt like I haven’t felt in
years. The next minute my heart was nearly beating out of my chest,
and I was right back to where I was four years ago. Nicole pulled
out of the parking lot, and we headed home. We drove in silence for
some time.

“
Leila?”

“
Yeah?” I said
sadly.

“
Do you think you are ever
going to move on?” She asked sincerely.

“You know. . .” I said with a huge
sigh. “I really wish I could. I feel like every time I find myself
feeling almost normal, he shows back up in my life. I need
closure––there are so many things I want to tell him.” I felt a
tear run down my cheek and quickly wiped it away before Nicole
noticed. The rest of the ride we sat in silence. Nicole dropped me
off at my apartment.

“
It’s going to get easier,
I promise,” she said to me. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Chapter
10

The next three weeks went by like a
blur. I had an emergency session with Helen after everything that
happened at the Halloween Party. She didn’t fault me for running
away, though she thought I really should get closure with Garrett.
She’d been encouraging me to get in contact with him. She actually
suggested we have him come to her office and she could act as a
moderator, if needed. I had been warming up to the idea, but I just
wasn’t ready to make that step.

It was already the night before
Thanksgiving. Originally, I hadn’t been on the schedule, but Danny
had asked me if I could work at the last minute. Although, I needed
a break, I couldn’t say no to him. It really helped me out by him
giving me the extra hours because I needed the extra money to pay
for my therapy sessions.

Danny was expecting the bar to be
packed and wanted everyone working. I was glad he put me on the
earlier shift because that meant I could hang out with Nicole and
Hillary and dance for a few hours after my shift was over. I put on
my usual work outfit of a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I’d planned
on coming back up to my apartment after my shift to freshen up and
change.

As I walked through the
employee entrance, I could feel the heat had already accumulated in
the bar. The place was hopping. All of the bar stools at the bar
were occupied.
Wow! This is going to be a
great night for tips.
I pushed my way
through the crowd and made it behind the bar. I grabbed my apron
and my order pad and hit the floor.

As I pushed my way through the crowd,
I heard a bunch of guys laughing in the corner. I turned my head to
see what was so funny and saw Garrett sitting in the corner
surrounded by five guys.

My heart felt as if it was
going to explode inside my chest. Why was he here?
Even though sheer panic was rushing through my
body, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He looked amazing. He had
a huge smile on his face and looked like he was having a great
time. He was wearing a tight Jimi Hendrix t-shirt. His arms were
exposed revealing the tattoos that covered them. He had what was
called "
sleeves"
,
there was no skin exposed just ink. I hadn’t noticed them at the
wedding because he had been wearing his Marine uniform. I laughed
to myself, when we were together I had always told him I wanted us
to get matching tattoos. He told me I was corny and that he would
never get one. Obviously, something had changed his mind for him to
be covered in them now.