Broken (12 page)

“
G,” I whispered
breathlessly.

He kissed me again. This time his kiss
was much softer. He slowly and gently pushed his tongue into my
mouth. His tongue felt so good as he lightly teased my tongue with
his. I kissed him back gently caressing his tongue with mine. I
wrapped my arms around his neck and tried to bring him closer. I
couldn’t get enough of him. I was frantic. My body ached for him.
It had been aching for him for all these years. This is what I had
been searching for. All the men I had slept with to make me feel
whole couldn’t do it, only him. I kissed him again, feverishly. I
couldn’t stop. I was like an addict, and he was my drug.

His hands were gripping my ass, and he
slowly pulled up my skirt. He shifted his weight to hold me up and
freed one of his hands and worked its way up my shirt. I wasn’t
wearing a bra, and he quickly found my nipple and began rubbing it
and then the other. My nipples became erect from his touch. I
moaned in his ear, and I felt him shudder. I slid my hands down his
chest and under his shirt. His body was rock hard. I could feel his
rippling abs. I rubbed my hands all over his chest pulling him
toward me as I kissed him again. I was losing control, and I didn’t
care.

Slowly, I worked my hands down his
body. I rubbed his cock through the outside of his jeans then
unbuttoned them and pushed my hand in to find his cock. I began
stroking him inside his pants. He let out a deep sigh. “Aaaah,
Leila,” he moaned.

I began sucking and kissing his neck.
My inner core was warm and buzzing. I could feel myself getting
wet. I wanted him so badly. I took my hands and tried to pull down
the front of his pants. He touched my hand and stopped
me.

“
Garrett, please. . . I
want you. . . I need you. My body longs for you,” I said
breathlessly...

I had completely forgotten everything
I had discussed with Helen. I wanted him and was bound and
determined to make him mine again.

He put his forehead to my forehead and
breathed raggedly. I was pretty sure he was crying. “Leila, I
can’t,” he said. “Not like this, you deserve better than this,
better than me.”

I put my hands on his face pleading
with him. “Please, I need you. . .” He slowly put me down, so I was
standing on my feet again. I couldn’t believe he was turning me
down.

I began to feel anger towards him.
“What . . . Am I not good enough for you? You don’t want to fuck a
whore is that it?” I said coldly. “I’m sure you fucked the douche
of honor’s brains out the night of the wedding.” He cringed at my
words.

His rejection was devastating. I
wanted him so bad it hurt and when he told me no, it felt like he
had just broken my heart all over again. I quickly spun around to
leave. Garrett grabbed my arm again.

“
Where do you think you
are going?” He said calmly.

He had me pinned up against the wall.
He had one arm on each side of me, blocking me from moving. He
looked me dead in the eyes, brushing my cheek with his hand.
“Leila, I haven’t slept with anyone since you.”

I laughed, “Oh, please! You think I am
going to believe that!”

He looked shaken. “You’re the only one
. . . You’ve always been the only one. I’ve dated women, but I’ve
never had sex. The thought of being with anyone but you made me
feel sick. You have no idea how bad I want you right now,” he
whispered in my ear. “But you deserve better than me.”

My eyes had filled with tears again.
They were now running down my face, and I began to sob. I felt so
guilty. After we broke up, I slept with every guy I’d met, while he
was celibate for four years. He was right to compare me to a whore
in the bar. That’s what I am.

“
Leila, please don’t cry.”
He took his thumb and wiped my cheek. “It breaks my heart to see
you cry. I came here to tell you that I miss you. Ever since I saw
you at the wedding, I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind.
You consume my thoughts. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep.” He was
shaking. “I had convinced myself that I was over you. Then, I saw
you again. You looked so beautiful. I saw you again at the
Halloween party. . .” His voice began to trail. “You were dancing
with that guy . . . You kissed him.” The expression on his face
looked as if he was in pain. “My heart broke. It took everything in
me not to run across the dance floor and beat the hell out of him.
It was then I realized how empty I was without you. I need you in
my life.”

I was speechless. I had longed to be
in his arms again, to hear him say these words to me. I felt like I
was dreaming, and if I was dreaming, I never wanted to wake up. He
put his hand underneath my chin and kissed me. A kiss so gentle and
soft it caused me to melt into his arms. I could taste his salty
tears on my lips. He could tell me to do anything at this point,
and I would do it. I was so lost without him. I needed him to stay,
never to leave me again.

I put my hands on his face. His cheeks
felt damp from his tears. “G, please don’t cry. We need to stop
hurting each other. We were both in pain and handled it very
differently. You tried to feel with tattoo needles, and I tried to
feel with alcohol and men. Neither of which are
healthy.”

“
Come home with me,” I
whispered. “I need you to hold me tonight. Even if that is all we
do, it is enough just to be in your arms.” He looked into my eyes
and nodded his head. I took him by the hand, and we walked slowly
back to Danny’s and headed straight to my apartment. We didn’t say
a word to each other, but I didn’t need words. I had
him.

Once we got into my apartment I showed
him around and went into the kitchen. I needed a stiff drink. I
pulled out a vodka bottle and two shot glasses. He walked up behind
me and wrapped his arms around me tight. I leaned my head back onto
his chest and he took a deep breath. “Ah. . . . That smell. . .
I’ve missed your smell,” he said in my ear.

That was all I needed to hear. I swung
around and wrapped my arms around him and kissed him. He took a few
steps forward and lifted me onto the kitchen counter. Our innocent
kiss quickly turned passionate. My tongue jetted into his mouth. I
moved to his ear and gently nibbled on it.

I reached for his pants to unbutton
them. I couldn’t stop myself. There was no way I was not making
love to him tonight. At first he froze, and I felt his body tense
up.

“
It’s ok, Baby,” I said.
“Please let me.”

I felt his body slowly let go of the
tension. He picked me up off the counter and carried me into my
bedroom. He tentatively laid me down on the bed. He was being so
gentle and cautious, treating me as if I was a virgin. He sat on
the edge of the bed. I slowly began to remove his shirt.

“No,” he said as a single tear ran
down his cheek.

He stopped me, “Leila, there is
something I need to tell you,” his voice was shaking.

I looked up at him the expression on
his face was that of embarrassment.

“
What is it?”

“
You remember at the
wedding when you asked me if I had hurt myself?”

“
Yeah, you said you pulled
a muscle,” I said. “Well, that’s not exactly what happened. I was
in a pretty bad accident in Afghanistan a couple of years
ago.

“
An accident? What kind of
accident?”
I quickly glanced down at his
leg. “How bad?” I asked frantically

He took a deep breath.
“When I was in Afghanistan my convoy was sent out and the truck I
was driving ran over a buried
IED, and it
exploded.

“
It exploded!” I
gasped.

“
The bomb went off on my
side of the truck I got the worst of it. I had to be pulled from
the truck by the Navy Corpsman that was riding with us. My leg was
badly injured and he had to resuscitate me several times.” He
paused trying to gather his thoughts. “I owe him my life. He kept
me alive until the medivac arrived and airlifted me to the
base.”

I put my fingers over his lips. “Show
me,” I said as my voice quaked.

He slowly pulled his shirt off, and I
ran my hands over his arms. As I reached the back side of his right
arm, I felt deep scars. “Oh G,” I whispered. I moved closer to him
and lightly kissed his scars. I felt his body stiffen at my touch.
“Does it hurt?”

He shook his head. “No,” came out in
barely a whisper.

“And your leg? Does it have the same
type of scarring?”

He lowered his head. “The doctor’s had
to amputate part of my leg.”

I now felt the tears rolling down my
cheeks. “Amputated?” I said hoarsely trying to choke back the
tears.

I slowly climbed off the bed and
crouched down in front of him. I slowly pull up his right pant leg
to see a prosthetic leg. “How much did they have to
amputate?

“
Just below the
knee.”

“
Can I see? I asked
softly.

He hesitated for a minute. “Only my
doctor’s and my parents have seen my leg without the
prosthesis.”

“
Please,” I
whispered.

He closed his eyes and exhaled.
Nodding he pulled up his pant leg.

“
Do you need my
help?”

“
No, I got it,” he
said.

As I sat on my bedroom floor, my mind
began to race. How could this have happened? Not one person even
thought to call me and let me know about his accident? I always
thought his mother and I had a great relationship. She still sends
me birthday and Christmas cards, for Christ’s sake. There were a
million questions running through my head. I wanted to ask him each
and every one of them. But instead, I sat quietly and
watched.

He stood up and slid his pants down
taking his left leg out first and sitting back down on the bed.
“Here, let me,” I insisted. Pulling the right pant leg off and
setting his jeans on the bed. He slid a thick plastic sleeve that
went up to his thigh down over his knee and pulled his leg from the
prosthetic leg. I watched him intently and noticed his hands were
shaking. He glanced at me smiling nervously. He continued by
removing two socks and then what he called a liner for his skin. I
was trying so hard to hold back my tears. It broke my heart to see
him this way.

I stood up holding my hand out to him.
He stood trying to get his footing. He took my hand and pulled me
toward him catching me completely off guard. Wrapping his arms
around me, he squeezed me tightly, pressing his lips forcefully up
against mine jutting his tongue into my mouth.

He was breathing heavily, and I could
feel his chest heaving against my body. He spun me around and
pushed me onto the bed. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. I had
seen this look in his eyes before, it was pure lust, and I knew
exactly what he wanted. My heart began to race as I swallowed hard.
The truth was, I was scared shitless. This was all I ever wanted
but now that he was here I couldn’t help but feel petrified. The
thought of him leaving again was eating at me, and I knew my heart
couldn’t take it.

I moved myself further up my bed so my
back was resting again my headboard. He crawled onto the bed like a
tiger stalking its prey. He grabbed me by the ankles pulling me
toward him. “Where do you think you are going?” He said gruffly. He
was now directly over me. My heart felt like it could beat right
out of my chest. I wanted him so bad.

“
Take your shirt off,” he
growled.

I reached for the shirt to pull it
over my head, and he nearly ripped it off me.

“
You don’t know how long I
have wanted to do this,” he said kissing me passionately.
He palmed my breasts and pinched my nipples. I
could feel my breasts swelling, and my nipples were erect from his
touch. I gave a small moan. He sat up on his knees and unbuttoned
my skirt and pulled it down. He reached in between my legs and
rubbed me through my underwear. Giving me his sexy smirk. “You’re
wet for me.” I was slightly embarrassed by his words. It had been a
long time since I’d had sex sober. He slipped his fingers into my
underwear. I felt my eyes roll into the back of my head, and I
moaned again.

“
You like that, Babe?” He
whispered.

Grabbing his shoulders forcefully I
flipped him onto his back. I think I may have taken him by surprise
because the look on his face was complete shock. I couldn’t take it
anymore. I was in desperate need of him.

I moved down his body until I reached
his cock. Slowly, and gently my mouth made its way around him,
teasing him with my tongue. I was taking my time. I wanted to savor
every moment I had with him. I had dreamt about this a million
times, and now he was here with me. With every suck and pull his
moans got louder.

“
Leila, I’ve missed your
sweet mouth.”

His words gave me goose bumps. I
tightened my lips around him and sucked harder and faster. I wanted
to milk him, give him everything he had been missing for the last
four years.

“Fuck, Babe,” he groaned loudly. “Come
here.”

I didn’t want to stop until I got him
off. He led me up his body, pulling me by my arms until I was
sitting on his chest. Pushing my underwear to the side he grabbed
my ass and pushed my pussy to his mouth. He pulled back briefly and
used his fingers to expose my clit. He grabbed me again pushing his
tongue right to my clit. He started off with gentle little circular
licks. He then started applying more pressure. I was throbbing for
him. “Hmmm. . .”