Broken (9 page)

Chapter 15

August, 2010; The Present

Bradley beamed as she spoke the words he had longed to hear since he had arrived in Charleston that afternoon.
Yes, I’ll go to dinner with you
. They were music to his ears. He tried to contain his excitement, but he couldn’t resist any longer. He picked her up and he twirled her around looking into her golden eyes that were perfectly reflecting the sun. Gabby couldn’t help but giggle as she wrapped her arms around his thick strong neck and held on tight.

“Put me down,” she screamed as she beat on his back and tried to act offended, but she wasn’t. She was scared, guarded, but offended was not an emotion she thought she was feeling at that moment. She knew that he wasn’t going to back down easily if he had come all the way from Atlanta to take her to dinner, so she thought she’d just go and get it out of the way. But, she also knew these feelings that they were both feeling. She’d only felt them one other time and she knew the hurt that came with them. But, he was so adorable, Mr. Charming, indeed. He was so hard for her to resist. She remembered what that felt like last time, too, and she rolled her eyes trying to get all thoughts of Ian out of her mind.

“Okay, okay. I just am so excited that you said yes. I couldn’t help myself. Sorry.” He put his fingers through his dark hair and tried to calm himself down after gently steadying her back on her feet. “It’s not like I said I was going to marry you. It’s just dinner. That’s it. Okay,” she playfully scolded him. “Yes, just dinner, for now,” he winked at her.

She cut her eyes down and grabbed her fingers nervously. She laughed a shy smile and kept her head down toward the sand. She glanced up toward him and smiled. Bradley was dressed in khaki linen pants with an untucked crisp white linen shirt. His sleeves were rolled up just below his elbows and the top few buttons were undone, his dark curly chest hair peeking through the V the shirt had formed. He had taken his shoes off and rolled the bottoms of his pants up when he had gotten to the beach with Sam. His black hair was blowing with the breeze and he was breathtakingly beautiful. The more she looked at him, the more she realized he was the most gorgeous man she had ever seen, “So, um. I was about to go for a swim. But, you don’t exactly look like you’re dressed for swimming, definitely not in the ocean.” She let out a giggle under her breath at how overdressed he was for the beach as she continued. “I’d really like to spend some time with Sam. I’m only going to be in town for a few days. What time should I meet you downtown?” She was now looking back into his dazzling blue eyes. She thought the good thing about dinner was that she’d have at least an hour to just sit across the table and stare at his beautiful face without needing an excuse. She had prayed for eye candy the night of the wedding, and that prayer had most certainly been answered.

Bradley interrupted her thoughts, “No, no need to meet me. I know where you live, remember? I met Sam. I had gone ahead and made the reservation for six. Will you be ready by 5:30?” Gabby laughed and rolled her eyes briefly glancing at Sam. “What, what’s so funny,” he asked looking around. “Well, there’s something you should know,” she teased. “Uh, ok.” He was definitely interested and stumped at what her confession would be this time.

“I’m habitually late. I’ll be late to my own funeral. Sam knows this and she thinks I don’t know what she does, but if we are supposed to be somewhere, she always tells me to be ready fifteen minutes before we’re actually supposed to leave. Then, I’m usually ready on time. But, sometimes, that’s still hard for me to do.” She grinned thinking back with positive memories of Cade’s wedding and her running out almost falling and breaking her neck trying to put on her shoes while Sam waited in the car rolling her eyes.

“Oh, I see. This is going to be a problem, then.” His eyes were playful and his lips curled into a smirk.

Gabby’s eyes got big, she didn’t know if she should gape or laugh. He was still so hard for her to read. “Seriously?” She was known to be quite gullible. “Yes, see I’m often late, too. So, this could be a bad combination. But, it could be that we were made for each other?” He cocked his head to one side and slipped one hand into his pocket smiling. “Oh, um. I’m not sure about made for each other. I am thinking probably a bad combination. That’s usually how my luck plays out,” she frowned.

He pulled her face back up, “Hey, why do you always look away from me. I love to look in your beautiful eyes, Gabby. Don’t be afraid, don’t be sad, and don’t think the worst. I’ve never been more optimistic about anything in my life. I’ll pick you up at 5:15. If we’re early, we’ll just wander around for a few minutes until it’s time for our reservation. How does that sound?”

Gabby wanted so bad to push him away the way she had done at the wedding, but he was being so stinking sweet to her. If she had been watching this play out on television, she would have been putting her finger down her throat making gagging sounds and giggling with Sam. But, every time she had done that, deep down she had hoped one day her Prince Charming would come and sweep her off her feet. Then again, she thought Ian was her Prince Charming and he had swept her off her feet only to slam her back down like Humpty Dumpty, breaking her into a million pieces that she wasn’t sure could ever be put back together again. Well, even if she was able to put herself back together, there was no denying she would never be the pre-Ian Gabby ever again.

“Yes, that sounds wonderful.” she smiled. “And, hey...” he was starting to walk away. “Yeah,” he stopped and turned just the upper portion of his body. “I’m trying,” she hesitantly spoke softly. His lips pursed together in a closed mouth smile that caught the sides of his eyes, which were as intense as the summer sun, “Me, too. I’ll see you in a little bit. Enjoy the beach with your sister, Gabby.” He smiled warmly, nodded at Sam and with that, she watched as he walked away from her this time.

Chapter 16

June, 2008

Junior year had been the best year of Gabby’s life. She had not only had a boyfriend the entire year, but she had the boyfriend she had dreamed of having for the previous four years. Things with Ian had been mostly good, except for the awkward moment when he had planned a romantic night for her after the pageant in February and she had turned him down. She had worried that they wouldn’t be able to get through that obstacle, but they had and they were stronger than ever.

Before John and Ian left to go to their yearly soccer camp in North Carolina, John knew it was time to let Lindsey know that the relationship wasn’t working for him. John had thought long and hard about his decision. He had not discussed it with Ian for fear that he would tell Gabby and that Gabby would then tell Lindsey. Awkwardly, John had chosen to discuss the matter with Stella. Stella was gracious and understanding. When John told her that he had felt the relationship was moving too fast and had become too serious she paused and methodically thought of how best to respond to such a delicate conversation with her son. She was so proud he felt comfortable enough to confide in her.

“John, you’re in high school, honey. I support you and Lindsey, but I support you more. Now is the time to be hanging out with the guys and just being carefree. I don’t want you to feel like you are trapped into being with a girl because you don’t want to break her heart. I admire you for being the boy who is concerned about hurting a girl, but you have to learn to do what is best for you. Ultimately, if you aren’t committed to the relationship, you’re not doing her any justice by dragging her along.” Stella placed her manicured hand on her son’s leg as she tilted her head sympathetically.

“Thank you, Mom. I think I know that breaking up with her is the right thing, but it’s hard because I do care about her. I think she’s a great girl. I just am not interested in this anymore. I just feel like she’s more of a sister to me. I have known her for so long. It seemed logical to date her since Gabby was dating Ian. I thought maybe over time my feelings would grow and change, but they haven’t. I do love her, but not like a girlfriend. I don’t know. This is so weird talking to you about this.” John looked up into Stella’s consoling eyes and breathed a sigh of relief for having gotten all of that off his chest.

“Don’t feel weird. I know it’s hard to believe but I was a teenager once, not so long ago, well maybe it was a while ago, but it doesn’t feel like it. Anyway, I think she will be hurt at first, but I think eventually, she’ll appreciate you ended it sooner rather than later. You know before things get even more serious.” Stella reached over to grab John’s hand in hers and to comfort her baby boy. It made her heart pull apart when she thought of John’s turmoil in having to make such adult decisions. No, he was no longer her baby boy, but yet he was, he would always be.

“I am so worried that we won’t even be able to be friends anymore. I really enjoy being with her. She’s fun. She makes me laugh. How do I salvage a friendship while breaking her heart, Mom? I am not sure I would even like me if I were her.” John’s voice cracked as he spoke the last sentence. He was really struggling with what he knew he had to do. There really was no decision left to be made, he had made it. What hurt was having to get the courage to actually do it.

“John, you must be honest with her and true to yourself. It’s the way you go about it that matters. You don’t do this over the phone. You go to her house and you look into her eyes. You let her see how upset this makes you and you beg her for her friendship. Then you give her some space. She’s going to need some time, but I do believe eventually, she’ll come back around.” Stella’s smile barely reached her eyes as she tried to be positive for John when actually all she wanted to do was reach over and pull him into her arms and rock him back and forth like she had done seventeen years earlier.

“Thank you, Mom. I knew I could come to you, as awkward as
this
has been. I love you so much.” He was relieved and he was surprised at how much better he felt. He knew that it would be awkward but that his Mom would be able to make him feel better and give him the courage he needed to actually do what he needed to do.

John ran up to his room and quickly grabbed his cell phone and his letter jacket. Then, he ran out of the garage door to his Toyota Tundra and took a deep breath as he tapped Lindsey’s number into the phone.

“Hey, baby. What are you up to?” Lindsey sounded so peppy and the thought of ruining her mood suddenly made John feel like he might vomit in his truck. This was going to be harder than he thought even just a moment before.

“Hey, Lindsey,” John paused and then mustered the courage. “I need to talk to you in person, it’s important. Where are you?” he inquired.

“I’m at home. Gabby’s here, though. We were about to go shopping. Can this wait till later?”

“No, it can’t. I won’t be long. I’m glad Gabby is there.” John muttered quietly, sighing in relief. If Gabby was there, that means she wouldn’t be alone when he left and she would have a shoulder to cry on. He shook his head at the thought of also losing Gabby as a friend by breaking up with Lindsey. Would Gabby understand why he was doing this? Then he realized, if he lost Gabby, he could also lose Ian. He shuddered at the thought.

Lindsey’s words reminded him he was still on the phone, “Okay, whatever John. See you soon. I love you.”

“Yeah, me too,” John lingered on the line even after she had hung up before closing his phone and tossing it in the passenger seat of his truck letting out a loud sigh and running his hand through his thick, dark brown hair.

Lindsey lived on a large estate, not in a neighborhood or close to the beach. They lived in an old colonial home. It looked like something from
Gone with the Wind
. The massive brick home had six large white columns, an oversized wooden door and porches on both levels of the home. In between each column were long windows on each side of the door with working shutters. There were three dog-house type windows for the third floor. The house perfectly represented old world Charleston and fit Lindsey’s native southern parents, well. As John pulled up into Lindsey’s long, oak-tree lined estate driveway, he meditated on what he would say to her and he glanced quickly into the rearview mirror and tried to reassure himself that he was doing the right thing. He took a deep breath as he combed his fingers through his silky, dark brown hair again. He closed his eyes, saying a quick prayer, asking for strength, courage, and peace in his decision.

Lindsey met him at the door just as he started to knock. She reached out to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him when she realized he was standing before her not moving, as if he were paralyzed. His bloodshot eyes were vacant, tear-filled, and he looked tired and hurt.

“Hey. What’s wrong? John. Hey. Please talk to me. What’s wrong with you? I’ve never seen you like this before.” Every moment John stood there not moving or talking made Lindsey’s concern grow.

“Can I come in, Lindsey,” he asked stoically.

“Yeah, sure. Sorry, where are my manners? I’m just worried about you, John. What’s wrong, is everyone okay? Has something happened?” Lindsey’s face was drawn and her questions were urgent.

“Everyone’s okay. Let’s sit.” He motioned for her lush couch in the formal living room. He didn’t want to go any further into the mansion because he wanted to be able to make a quick getaway to the door when he had said what he had come there to say.

“Okay,” she spoke softly as she sat nervously.

“Lindsey, I don’t know how to do this. I just want to tell you that I’m so sorry. I really do care about you. It’s just that
this
is moving too fast for me. It’s too serious.”

“Seriously,” tears started streaming down her face. “I don’t know what to say. I’m shocked. Are you breaking up with me? Is that what was so important. You needed to come see me to break up with me?” The anger and disappointment she was feeling was palpable making him shudder.

“I am so sorry. Lindsey, I do love you. I meant that. I just realized that I don’t love you like you deserve to be loved. I love you like a sister. I think you’re fun and you make me laugh. I just have started to feel like you’re my best friend, not my girlfriend. I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t want to lead you on, either. You deserve better than that, Linds,” he paused.

“I gave you everything, John. You had no problem taking that. Would you take that from your sister? Sorry, not buying it. But whatever! You’re right. I do deserve better. Now, get out,” she hissed.

“It wasn’t like that, I tried Lindsey. I wanted to feel differently. I tried everything. I don’t want it to be like this. I don’t want to lose our friendship. Is there any way that you could find it in your heart to forgive me for this and still be my friend,” he said apologetically.

“You have some nerve, John. No. I don’t think that’s going to work for me,” she said angrily as she opened the door and stood back motioning for him to leave.

“I’m so sorry, Lindsey. I hope you’ll change your mind.” He walked out of her front door with his head held down. He felt relieved to have that off his chest, but it hurt nonetheless. He knew he had done the right thing. He sought comfort in knowing that and knowing he had the support of his family. Lindsey slammed the door as soon as his foot cleared the threshold making him jump. He paused looking back and a tear streamed down his face, knowing that even though she was angry, ultimately it was a cover for the hurt he had just inflicted on her heart.

“Lindsey, what is going on down there,” Gabby screamed as she ran down the wide wooden staircase after hearing the door slam and Lindsey bursting into a full sob. As she ran down, she saw Lindsey curled into a fetal position on the couch in the formal sitting room.

“Lindsey.” Gabby pleaded wrapping her arms around her and waiting patiently for her response. Gabby was so scared. All she could think about was her mother’s passing away. Suddenly, scary thoughts flooded through her mind, thoughts of losing Stella, or Ian. She had always been a sympathetic crier, and she began to cry, too.

“Gabby, are you crying?” Lindsey her voice quivering, she took a deep breath and used the back of her palms to wipe away her tears.

“It’s Stella or Ian, isn’t it?” Gabby sobbed. “No, Gabs. Stop. It’s not Stella or Ian. They are both fine. John broke up with me.” Lindsey was confused, sad and relieved. She was thankful everyone else was okay and that Gabby didn’t have to endure more heartbreak, but this was a moment when she was falling apart. Gabby had never really had to be there for Lindsey like Lindsey had for her. Just when Lindsey needed Gabby, Gabby was being self-absorbed in her own pity and worry.