Broken (6 page)

“You’re right,” he spoke softly. She was unable to hold the tears back from her eyes any longer. She knew it, but why did it still hurt so bad.

Chapter 8

September 2007

“Ian, we have to talk,” Gabby said seriously.

“No, what I have in mind doesn’t require talking.” Ian grabbed her by her waist. She was smiling as he trailed kisses down her jaw to her neck. He was moving her backward toward the couch. Unable to resist him, she resigned to trying to talk to him until after they had made out and had their fun. Why had she thought they could actually do anything other than
this
after spending all day in three different classes barely able to touch one another? It was nearly impossible for both of them to resist public displays of affection at school.
Yes, talking would most definitely have to wait!

Gabby moaned as he gently laid her back onto the couch and hovered over her. Ian lifted the hem of her cotton shirt, “You’re wearing too many clothes, I do believe.” He barely stopped kissing her while he tossed her shirt on the floor beside them. It made her giggle as she grabbed his shirt and repeated his words back to him, “You’re wearing too many clothes, too, I do believe.” After his shirt was on the floor beside hers she reached for his button on his shorts.

She wasn’t usually so bold, but Ian had been playful with her all day, from his silly note to the slap on the rear as she was walking into the house. Gabby’s behavior surprised Ian and so for the first time since they had been together, he reached for her skirt, slowly pulling it down, never taking his eyes off her, silently asking permission. She smiled at him as she threaded her fingers through his messy hair and gave him a gentle nod of affirmation.

After he had tossed her skirt into the pile of their clothes, he added his shorts. They were half naked in front of each other and he looked her over from head to toe smiling and drinking in her beauty. It took everything he had not to continue undressing her, but he didn’t want to push his luck. She pulled him down to her and he began to kiss her lips, sucking her bottom lip softly. Their tongues were dancing together, exploring and tasting each other’s mouths. He moved his tongue to her jaw and then to the back of her ear and tenderly nibbled on the lobe around her earring. She gasped and tilted her pelvis toward him. She loved it when he did that to her ear. She could feel his smile as she started to move. His tongue moved to her neck and continued to explore her body. Ian raised his hand and gently removed her breast from the cup of her bra. She briefly looked down at herself and how trussed up she looked like that.

She was a little shy but she smiled as his mouth took her breast and swirled his tongue around her nipple making it harden and she felt all the blood rush down. As he pressed his erection into her panties, she could feel her wetness seeping through and she started to thrust her hips. He felt so good,
this
felt so good. She reached her hands to his back and moved her hands lower until she had his strong buttocks in both hands as he moved his kisses back upward toward her mouth again.

They began to really start moving in a synchronized rhythm and their kissing grew more passionate as she became more aroused. He stopped kissing her briefly as he smiled back down at her. He knew she was close. He loved to watch her as she rolled her eyes into the back of her head and how her mouth formed a perfect
O
as she came undone beneath him, all because of him. Knowing no one was home, she could not control her moans and she screamed out “Ian” as her orgasm spiraled all around her, shaking her body and making her limbs go limp.

Ian gently leaned down and kissed her for a few moments in a long hard kiss. Looking back up at her smiling he said, “Thanks for that anatomy lesson. I think I definitely aced that test.” She rolled her eyes and giggled, “Yes, I think you should get extra credit for that one!” After placing her breast back into her bra, he handed her the shirt, “Hey Gabs, I did want to talk to you about something. I just, well, I couldn’t think about talking when I first saw you standing at my door. You know what you do to me.” She smirked, “No, I don’t know what I do to you, but I do know what you do to me. I like it. I can’t get enough. You bring out a side of me I didn’t know I had.”

“Oh, Gabby. That feeling is quite mutual. I am pretty sure you do to me what I do to you and then some.” His voice cracked as he spoke almost shyly. He held her skirt out for her as she slipped each foot in and then he pulled it back up for her and then proceeded to redress himself.

“What did you want to ask me?”

“Yeah, John is having a party tomorrow. I know I had said no dates until we got to know each other. I think I’m ready to show everyone that you are mine. Would you like to go to John’s party with me tomorrow night? Did you have plans?” He was hesitant as the words fumbled out of his mouth. It was obvious Ian was nervous.

She put her finger over her lip to try and hide her smile. She was so excited she almost started jumping up and down, but she loved seeing him so nervous and she decided to play with him a little bit in his vulnerable state.

“Actually, I do have plans.”

“Oh. Okay. I guess I should have asked sooner. Maybe some other time,” he said as he put his head down in defeat.

“I had planned to go to John’s party with Lindsey. She asked me after school as I was leaving to come here. I wondered why you had not asked me. I mean, I knew we weren’t technically dating, but I was disappointed that you had not at least mentioned it.” Gabby was no longer playful, she was serious. It had really hurt her, but now she understood and she felt better. A slight smile brushed over her face.

“Oh. So you would rather go with Lindsey, then?”

Gabby cocked her head to one side and grinned, “Well, there’s this thing. It’s called a change of plans. Should I call Lindsey and tell her my boyfriend would like to take me to John’s party so that everyone can see I’m his? If that’s the offer, I won’t be able to change my plans fast enough,” she beamed.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I want you to do!”

He leaned over and kissed her once more, “Pick you up at seven?”

“Yes, thank you, Ian. I can’t wait. You have just made me the happiest girl on the planet. Want your reward?”

“Now you’re talking!”

Chapter 9

June, 2010; The Present

Tears were streaming down Gabby’s face. She felt like her heart was made of glass and someone had just shattered it all over the wood beneath her feet once again. She had known this guy for all of five minutes and he had already shattered her.
What was so wrong with her? Why was she never enough? Why couldn’t guys appreciate a girl who didn’t throw herself at every guy?
She began to get frustrated and she was so angry she contemplated slapping him as hard as she could, but she didn’t want to be the center of a scene and she certainly didn’t want to ruin Cade and Kristin’s big day by slapping his cousin. She was paralyzed with emotion and as much as she wanted to run away from him again, she found herself planted in front of him wishing she was anywhere but there.

“You’re right,” he said. She had heard him the first time. Hearing it twice certainly was like adding salt to her wounds. He reached up and cupped her face one more time. She swiftly removed his hand and put it back by his side. “Don’t. Don’t touch me,” she hissed. “Gabby. Hush.” His voice was soft, sincere, but commanding.

“I’m not going to lie. I want you. I want all of your body right now. I want to kiss that lip you’re biting so soft and tender. I want to touch you and I want to make you come undone beneath my hands. I don’t do commitment, Gabby. It’s not who I am. I am really good at one night stands, the friends with benefits thing. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to see you cry. I would rather tell you this than make you feel like a used piece of garbage. Please don’t cry. Please let me have this night with you. Even if we can’t meet each other’s needs. Please let me just have this night holding you, dancing with you, looking into your beautiful golden eyes, Gabby. Please don’t run away from
this
.” His plea was sweet as he gestured that familiar gesture they kept mirroring to each other.

He raised his hand gently and slowly raising his eyebrows as it reached in front of their faces to imply what his intentions were and she didn’t move. He continued and gently brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ears and he planted a gentle kiss on her forehead as she leaned her head down and ultimately into his awaiting lips. He moved his hands to the side of her face still swaying to the music and he used his thumbs to wipe away her tears. He pushed her hair out of the wetness brushing it behind her shoulders.

“I’m really tired, Bradley. Emotionally. Physically. I don’t know if I can do this. As tempting as you are, the reality is that you’re going to leave me. Even if I stay tonight, you’re going to leave me and go back to your life and I’m going to be left writhing and missing your touch, your face, the way you make me feel with your commanding voice, and I don’t even know you yet. I’ll be left wondering what if. Your touch is painful to me if you can’t want all of me. You can’t just have my body.” Her voice cracked as she spoke her last sentence and tears again prickled the back of her eyes.

He dropped his hands at her admission that his touch was painful. His lips formed a hard line and he clenched his fits. He realized the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. What he really wanted to do was to grab her face, kiss her and make her forget all of this
baggage
she was so worried about
.
But, he also knew he didn’t want to become new baggage. Bradley knew that even though he wanted her, wanted to worship her cute little body and make love to her, it wouldn’t be enough. He knew that he wasn’t capable of a serious relationship. The thought sent a pain throughout his body he had never experienced. He backed up to put some distance between the two of them. He certainly couldn’t make rational decisions being so close to her.

Realizing he had been defeated, he put his arms up to surrender stepping back once more, “Okay. I don’t want to hurt you, Gabby. I wish this could have been different. You’re different. I don’t want to let you walk away, but you’re right. I will hurt you and I can’t stomach the thought of that. You deserve better. I guess this is goodbye, huh?”

Tears streamed down her face.
Why was she so emotionally screwed up and unavailable
? She was furious with herself and proud all at once. She was five thousand emotions, whom was she kidding? She was a friggin’ basket case, and that wasn’t Bradley’s fault. She was this way before she even laid eyes on him.

“Goodbye Bradley.” She turned on her heel and walked away.

He froze in his position, with his hands in his pocket defeated as he watched her run to Sam, who held Gabby at arm’s length. Her lips pursed and Sam looked up and scowled at him. She put her arm around her little sister and they ran into the Charleston night. Just like that, Gabriella Gerhart was gone and now a part of his past.

Chapter 10

February 2008

As Gabby waited for Ian to pick her up to take her to the Miss Penn Foster High pageant, she smiled as she thought back to how Lindsey had tried to talk her into entering the pageant, but Gabby was still too insecure about her figure to muster up the courage to compete. It was more than that, though. Lindsey’s parents were rich. She could do or have whatever she wanted. Gabby was essentially an orphan. Her mother had left her father when she was five years old. Her mother had passed away the year before of breast cancer. Money was especially tight for her and she knew that not only she did not feel great about her body, but she also worried about how she would ever be able to compete with the elaborate evening gowns the other rich girls would be wearing. The bottom line was that even if Gabby had no issues with her body, she just couldn’t afford to be in the pageant. There was no way she would admit that to Lindsey. Lindsey would ask her parents to pay for everything and then Gabby would just feel like she was a cause, something needing to be saved. She was low middle class, but she didn’t want to be treated like she was living in poverty, she definitely didn’t want pity.

Lindsey had pleaded, “Gabby, it will be so much fun. Who cares if either of us wins or loses? Let’s just do it together. We’ll get to go shopping for new dresses. We’ll get makeovers. It will be so much fun. Please?” Lindsey drew out the last word as a plea while giggling as she nudged Gabby. Gabby was trying her best not to smile, but she couldn’t help but smirk and laugh at Lindsey acting like a kid in a candy store trying to persuade her to enter some stupid high school popularity contest. Gabby rolled her eyes and let her body give into Lindsey’s nudge. Twirling her hair through her fingers, she looked out the window as Lindsey drove to pick up John and Ian for their double date.

“Nope, sorry. I love you, Linds. I give in to you a lot, but not this time. I have absolutely
no
desire to be humiliated in front of the entire school and then some. I’m happy to come cheer you on, but I’m gonna pass on this one.” Lindsey frowned, “I don’t know why you think so little of yourself Gabby. You’re beautiful. You didn’t think Ian would care about a girl like you, but look at you. You’re the girlfriend of one of the most popular guy in the school. You’re not just beautiful, but you have the heart...the insides to go with it. You’re the whole package. It makes me sad to see you so down on yourself all the time.”

“Nice. Trying to guilt trip me into entering the pageant? It’s a new Lindsey low!” Gabby giggled.

“Well, a girl has to give it her all,” Lindsey snapped with a wry smile and they changed the subject to how in love they were with their boyfriends.

Ian knocked on the door snapping Lindsey out of her flashback and she quickly grabbed her cell phone, purse, cardigan, and slipped into her shoes. She took one more look in the mirror and fixed her already perfect straightened hair and opened the door with a smile.

“Well, hello there beautiful!” Ian smirked as he looked her up and down and wrapped his arms around her waist, “You. Look. Incredible,” he said pulling her into a kiss.

“Oh, stop.” Gabby blushed as she pulled away and looked down.

“Well, it’s just the truth, Gabs. If you were in this pageant, no other girl would stand a chance,” he bragged.

“Not true, but thank you. Let’s go.” She closed the front door and started walking toward his SUV.

Ian opened the door for her as she carefully climbed into her seat, “So, my parents are out of town this weekend. They left me at the house all alone. I promised I would check in with my grandparents every four hours and there is a chance they could pop up at any time, but I had plans for us. How long can you be out tonight,” Ian probed glancing a smug smile over at Gabby as he put the car into gear, looked into the rearview mirror, and pulled into the street out of his parallel parking spot. “My curfew is the same as it’s been all year, Ian. 11:30 p.m.”

“Okay, good enough for me.”

The rest of the drive, they chatted about the different girls in the pageant and how fun it would be to people watch the girls as they waltzed across the stage like mechanical dolls.