Brick Shakespeare: The Comedies—A Midsummer Night's Dream, The Tempest, Much Ado About Nothing, and The Taming of the Shrew (93 page)

PETRUCHIO

They shall go forward, Kate, at thy command.

Obey the bride, you that attend on her;

Go to the feast, revel and domineer,

Carouse full measure to her maidenhead,

Be mad and merry, or go hang yourselves:

But for my bonny Kate, she must with me.

Nay, look not big, nor stamp, nor stare, nor fret;

I will be master of what is mine own:

She is my goods, my chattels; she is my house,

My household stuff, my field, my barn,

My horse, my ox, my ass, my any thing;

And here she stands, touch her whoever dare;

I’ll bring mine action on the proudest he

That stops my way in Padua. Grumio,

Draw forth thy weapon, we are beset with thieves;

Rescue thy mistress, if thou be a man.

Fear not, sweet wench, they shall not touch thee, Kate:

I’ll buckler thee against a million.

BAPTISTA

Nay, let them go, a couple of quiet ones.

GREMIO

Went they not quickly, I should die with laughing.

TRANIO

Of all mad matches never was the like.

LUCENTIO

Mistress, what’s your opinion of your sister?

BIANCA

That, being mad herself, she’s madly mated.

GREMIO

I warrant him, Petruchio is Kated.

BAPTISTA

Neighbours and friends, though bride and bridegroom wants

For to supply the places at the table,

You know there wants no junkets at the feast.

Lucentio, you shall supply the bridegroom’s place:

And let Bianca take her sister’s room.

TRANIO

Shall sweet Bianca practise how to bride it?

BAPTISTA

She shall, Lucentio. Come, gentlemen, let’s go.

ACT IV. Scene III (1–162).

A
t the commencement of Act IV, Grumio enters Petruchio’s house frigid and complaining of his most recent journey with his master and Katharina. Curtis stokes a fire for him, and Grumio tells the story of how Petruchio’s horse fell, tossing Katharina into the mud. Instead of helping his bride who was stuck under the horse, Petruchio instead began beating Grumio. Grumio finishes his story as Petruchio rushes into the house, trailed by Katharina, and jumps into an onslaught of orders to the servants. Katharina urges him to be less difficult, and Petruchio ultimately steals her away without having eaten dinner, under the claim that it has not been cooked properly. The servants observe this behavior and rightly note that Petruchio is giving her a taste of her own medicine. Petruchio’s plan to tame Katharina is slowly coming to fruition: as he becomes exceedingly more difficult, Katharina becomes more attentive and wifely.

As it becomes clear that Lucentio (disguised at Cambio) has successfully wooed Bianca, Hortensio decides that he can no longer love a woman who would fall for someone of such low stature. Tranio (disguised as Lucentio) convinces Hortensio that they should both quit vying for Bianca’s affections and swear that they will find someone much better for themselves. Tranio steers Hortensio into a different direction, leaving Bianca free and clear for Lucentio to claim her in marriage. Hortensio recalls a wealthy widow who had appealed to him and resolves to marry her instead. Meanwhile, Biondello has found a merchant to pretend to be Vincentio, Lucentio’s father, to give Baptista assurance of Lucentio’s wealth.

GRUMIO

No, no, forsooth; I dare not for my life.

KATHARINA

The more my wrong, the more his spite appears:

What, did he marry me to famish me?

Beggars, that come unto my father’s door,

Upon entreaty have a present aims;

If not, elsewhere they meet with charity:

But I, who never knew how to entreat,

Nor never needed that I should entreat,

Am starved for meat, giddy for lack of sleep,

With oath kept waking and with brawling fed:

And that which spites me more than all these wants,

He does it under name of perfect love;

As who should say, if I should sleep or eat,

’Twere deadly sickness or else present death.

I prithee go and get me some repast;

I care not what, so it be wholesome food.

GRUMIO

What say you to a neat’s foot?

KATHARINA

’Tis passing good: I prithee let me have it.

GRUMIO

I fear it is too choleric a meat.

How say you to a fat tripe finely broil’d?

KATHARINA

I like it well: good Grumio, fetch it me.

GRUMIO

I cannot tell; I fear ’tis choleric.

What say you to a piece of beef and mustard?

KATHARINA

A dish that I do love to feed upon.

GRUMIO

Ay, but the mustard is too hot a little.

KATHARINA

Why then, the beef, and let the mustard rest.

GRUMIO

Nay then, I will not: you shall have the mustard,

Or else you get no beef of Grumio.