Brick Shakespeare: The Comedies—A Midsummer Night's Dream, The Tempest, Much Ado About Nothing, and The Taming of the Shrew (91 page)

TRANIO

See not your bride in these unreverent robes:

Go to my chamber; put on clothes of mine.

PETRUCHIO

Not I, believe me: thus I’ll visit her.

BAPTISTA

But thus, I trust, you will not marry her.

PETRUCHIO

Good sooth, even thus; therefore ha’ done with words:

To me she’s married, not unto my clothes:

Could I repair what she will wear in me,

As I can change these poor accoutrements,

’Twere well for Kate and better for myself.

But what a fool am I to chat with you,

When I should bid good morrow to my bride,

And seal the title with a lovely kiss!

TRANIO

He hath some meaning in his mad attire:

We will persuade him, be it possible,

To put on better ere he go to church.

BAPTISTA

I’ll after him, and see the event of this.

TRANIO

But to her love concerneth us to add

Her father’s liking: which to bring to pass,

As I before unparted to your worship,

I am to get a man,—whate’er he be,

It skills not much; we’ll fit him to our turn,—

And he shall be Vincentio of Pisa;

And make assurance here in Padua

Of greater sums than I have promised.

So shall you quietly enjoy your hope,

And marry sweet Bianca with consent.

LUCENTIO

Were it not that my fellow school-master

Doth watch Bianca’s steps so narrowly,

’Twere good, methinks, to steal our marriage;

Which once perform’d, let all the world say no,

I’ll keep mine own, despite of all the world.

TRANIO

That by degrees we mean to look into,

And watch our vantage in this business:

We’ll over-reach the greybeard, Gremio,

The narrow-prying father, Minola,

The quaint musician, amorous Licio;

All for my master’s sake, Lucentio.

TRANIO (cont.)

Signior Gremio, came you from the church?

GREMIO

As willingly as e’er I came from school.

TRANIO

And is the bride and bridegroom coming home?

GREMIO

A bridegroom say you? ’tis a groom indeed,

A grumbling groom, and that the girl shall find.

TRANIO

Curster than she? why, ’tis impossible.

GREMIO

Why he’s a devil, a devil, a very fiend.

TRANIO

Why, she’s a devil, a devil, the devil’s dam.

GREMIO

Tut, she’s a lamb, a dove, a fool to him!

I’ll tell you, Sir Lucentio: when the priest

Should ask, if Katharina should be his wife,

“Ay, by gogs-wouns,” quoth he; and swore so loud,

That, all-amazed, the priest let fall the book;