Breaking Through (Atlanta #3) (15 page)

"Your aunt has very bad taste," he said bluntly, but still with a grin.
 

"Here. What about this one," she offered.

He smelled the cap and smiled at her. "I like it. You used that one on our first date, right?"

Jenna smiled so widely and nodded.

"That was a test, wasn't it…did I pass?"

"With flying colors," she laughed.

"What scent is that? I liked it, but I couldn't place it."

"Sandalwood and ginger. I thought you would like it," she teased with a grin. "I'm glad I was right. This one?"

He sniffed again. "Vanilla and something. Nice. Will you use that one?"

"It's vanilla with cedar," she said as she poured a generous amount near the faucet. The oil bubbled up in the steamy water immediately.

"You have bubble bath that smells like cedar? Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's strange."

Jenna laughed again. "Yeah, that's strange. Gift from another aunt who's into all the herbal, alternative-medicine/chakra scene. I think this one's supposed to cleanse my Chi or something. I have no idea. I always get a lot of bath stuff at Christmas. Everyone knows it's my favorite," she said with a warm smile.
 

That smile is fucking adorable
. She pulled her hair up loosely in a clip and he couldn't help but smile. She wasn't just adorable, she was absolutely beautiful. This whole bath experience only made him want to tell her more exactly how special she was.
 

He was falling in love with her, and she didn't even know it. But then again, he shouldn't go so far as to tell her. Inevitably, he would still fuck this up, and hearing those words from him would only make things worse for her when he somehow ruined what they had.
 

Only a month or so had passed, he reminded himself, since he broke her heart with the request for keeping their relationship a secret. That was sadness
he
caused. With all his darkness inside, he was sure to do it again.
Fuck
. Someone so sweet had no business being with a dark bastard like him. He refused to let his frustration affect this evening, though. They'd had a darn-near perfect weekend together: her hot body writhing for him Friday night all the way to their long Harley ride simply to be together. Not only was her body a true fit for his, every minute of their time fit, too.
 

His thoughts were interrupted by her robe hitting the floor and her bare feet padding up the little steps and down into the water. Her curvy shape blew him away every time he had the chance to see the softness of her body. He noticed, too, her toenails painted in the same tannish-pink of her fingernails. The vanilla-cedar scent permeated the entire bathroom in the steam, and surrounded him with another part of her. The scent was strange but somehow comforting.

"Mmmm," she purred as she relaxed even further. "You should make yourself a bath guy. You're missing out."

"Nah, tubs always seem cramped and uncomfortable," he shook his head. "But I'm finding right now I like
watching
baths."

Jenna giggled at him and spent the next half hour soaking in the warm bubbles and talking with him about his training. He had a chance to tell her about all the drills Marcus puts him through and how some of the other fighters preferred him as a sparring partner. He even demonstrated a new kick combination Marcus taught him earlier in the week.

"Yeah, he had me and Trip sparring and he was coaching both of us. I would kick Trip's ass a little more if he weren't so damn fast," Luke said. "But when I do connect, he's down."

He grinned as he spoke more about his camaraderie with Marcus and Trip, then almost shyly he told her about having his own set of keys to the gym. She had a wide, genuine smile which blew him away all over again. She looked proud. Jenna cared about him and had no trouble expressing how much. He wanted more of her…all the time…especially now.

With that in mind, he leaned down from his seat at the tub's edge and kissed her deeply. When he released her lips, he grinned at her, reached his hand straight down into the water by her feet and pulled the plug.

"Hey! I wasn't done yet," she giggled.

"Sorry. I couldn't help myself," he answered with a playful smile. "Now get your naked self out of the tub and let me dry you off so I can have my way with you."

"If I must," she smiled.
 

Luke grabbed a towel and helped her out of the draining water.
He wrapped her up in the soft terrycloth and then in his arms. He kissed her deeply while water ran down her legs. After a long while, he patted her body with the towel and then wrapped her up again because he knew she was still a bit shy with him. He had no idea why she was, but still. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable.
 

Romantically he picked her up, carried her to the bed, and rested her gently in the sheets. Her eyes were wide at his sweetness and he almost scolded himself for not doing this for her earlier. She deserved this kind of treatment, and he hadn't offered her the gentleness she must sometimes wish for.

"Luke…" she sighed with a soft smile.
Yeah, she needs this you asshole.

"Baby…" he whispered as he smiled at her. He pulled his clothes off more slowly than usual, then crawled over top of her gently. He wanted to dive into her with his usual demanding heat, but he kept himself restrained for her.
 

For the first time in his life, Luke truly made love to someone. He caressed her and kissed her sweetly. He let his hands wander over her soft body with care and attention. Sounds of breathy pleasure eased their way from her chest as she smiled and arched so beautifully. So slowly he pushed his body into hers, no matter how difficult the pace.
 

Instead of his usual filthy mouth, Luke kept his words as sweet as his movements. He made sure she felt as cherished as she was.
 

"You're everything I need…Jen, you're so beautiful…"

She seemed to tense when he breathed that last phrase, and he knew her passion reached the point of raw physical need, which was good. Luke wasn't sure how much longer he could hold back. Without really meaning to, her hair was in his grip as his body slowly built to its usual pace of heated passion. His beautiful words morphed to raw.
 

"Jenna, your body was made for mine…you are so fucking hot…can you feel what you do to me?…"

He came powerfully into her again. Sex with her was different, but he couldn't describe to himself why. All he knew was he'd never had it that way before, especially with the romance of this evening. Jenna did something to him, something incredible.

He looked down to see her soft, after-sex smile, anxiously hoping to see even more love from her after this deeper connection. He hoped she felt as important as he wanted her to. His eyes met hers, and he saw tension and tears instead of happiness.
What?! Fuck!

"Baby, what's wrong? Did I hurt you? Shit! I'm so sorry…"
 

CHAPTER SEVEN

Luke called her
beautiful
. Usually during sex their moments burned hot with Luke's foul mouth telling her how sexy she was, groaning words that made her feel strong and desirable. But this time, he was romantic. He was so gentle. And he called her beautiful. She blissfully drowned in his loving attention, but now she was completely devastated. He couldn't possibly mean that, and she didn't understand why he would say that word. In her mind, suddenly everything he'd ever said was suspect.
 

Her whole life, Jenna had been "cute" or "petite" or some other generic adjective applied to the not-a-beauty-queen part of the population. Never had she been beautiful. "Cute" often implied
nondescript
or
average
and "petite" was a common stand-in for
short
. Every one of her sessions in a mirror revealed a stunted body with a little too much pudge. Her blond hair should have been accompanied by bright blue eyes like her mother's, rather than dark, muddy brown like her father's. Never beautiful. Such a strong word was reserved for tall, lean, gorgeous women like Cassie or Erin.
 

Compared to her two best friends, Jenna understood she lived in the realm of plain or drab, and she was ok about the reality. Not everyone could be stunning like them, and their friendship wasn't so shallow as to be bothered by appearances. But Luke called her beautiful. His description of her made no sense. And for some strange reason, the word made two tears fall quietly from her eyes.

He only uttered the word once before his usual epithets of
"Baby, you're so damn tight,"
and
 
"I fucking love moving inside you."
But she heard him clearly.
"Jen, you're so beautiful."
And she cried a few more tears when she thought about that phrase again. She didn't understand, and she was no longer lost in the loving moment with Luke. For the first time ever, she couldn't get carried away with him in the passionate rush. Their weekend was unraveling, and she wanted him to be done with her so she could hide.
 

 
She pushed away any sense of pleasure, and in spite of his incredible skill in bed and all his intensity…for the first time with him she didn't reach climax. Her heart drained to emptiness as he loudly found his release deep inside her body, and she wasn't there with him. Not at all.

Luke noticed her tears, damn it, and he misunderstood them completely.

"Baby, what's wrong? Did I hurt you? Shit! I'm so sorry…" His face was panicked. Jenna knew already he cared for her, but the look of desperate concern on his face melted her heart, and made her cry harder. How could such a man love her? Her fear of inadequacy usually nagged at her quietly in the background, but now those feelings were escaping toward the pillow along her temples where he could see them, and she couldn't stop. "Jenna, baby, I'm so sorry I hurt you…please, tell me you're ok…"

"You didn't hurt me," she finally whispered to a much-relieved Luke. "I'm ok, I promise."

"But you didn't come? Why did you hold back? Baby…I don't understand." He pulled out of her and released her hair, but remained over her body. "Why are you crying? Why didn't you let me get you there?" he whispered, almost sounding panicked…and hurt.

Jenna could barely muster up another whisper from her emotion-tightened throat. "Why did you call me beautiful?"

"What? You're crying because I called you beautiful?" he asked, now completely confused along with hurt. "You
are
beautiful. Why would that make you cry?"

"I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong. Let's just sleep."

"No way. Tell me why me calling you beautiful made you cry."

"Because I'm not. Because I don't believe you. Because I don't understand why you would say that. I know you want my body, but 'beautiful' doesn't fit with that. You're not making any sense. It makes me wonder about everything you say when we have sex. I wonder if any of it is real."

"What the hell…you think I say all that to manipulate you or something?" He almost sounded angry along with his hurt.
 
"Jenna, you're not some random fuck-toy. You're my angel. You know that, don't you? I can't help what I say, I only know I mean every word of it." He said this like the concept should be obvious to her.

Jenna shook her head with her eyes closed, trying to keep her increasing tears from escaping her eyelids. She didn't have any words to respond. She was plain, short, soft-in-the-belly Jenna. She may be his angel on an emotional level, but certainly not on a physical one.
 

Frankly, she couldn't believe he wanted her body the way he did. She hadn't understood his desire from the beginning, and suddenly all those fears from the back of her consciousness dominated center stage. More quiet tears escaped her lids.
 

Luke shifted up to his knees, still resting between her legs, and pulled her up to sit in front of him. She used her arms to cover herself as best she could. He took her face softly in his hands. "Open your eyes," he instructed. Unable to resist his strong nature, Jenna opened her eyes without meaning to.
 

"Thank you," he whispered. "Now tell me where this is all coming from, because you're the one not making any sense."

Jenna couldn't meet his eyes any more. Her gaze shifted to his strong, broad chest...his magnificently chiseled chest. Her body didn't fit with his at all, no matter how many times he said otherwise during sex. Luke belonged in a marble line of statues honoring the Greek gods, far away from her simple, plain self deserving only representation in hand-modeled clay.
 

"Jenna, listen to me. I'm about to freak out over here. Tell me why you said that," Luke said seriously. "Tell me."

She dropped her forehead against his muscular chest and simply whispered again, "I'm not beautiful. I never have been."
 

He let out an exasperated sigh. "Jenna, look at me."

She had to meet his eyes at his request. She loved nothing more than understanding what he wanted and giving him everything he asked. She always hoped she would be enough for him. He wanted her to look, so she did.
 

"You are beautiful, in every way. I have no idea why you think you aren't, or why it made you cry when I said it," he said sounding both loving and confused. "Did you really think I didn't mean it?"

"I don't know," she answered quietly. "You say a lot of things during sex."

"And I told you, I mean every one of them. I'm usually not one for words, but when I'm inside you, every thought comes to the surface. You
are
hot, and you
are
fucking good in bed. I love how your body responds to mine. You get me so damn worked up every time I'm in the room with you. I noticed how beautiful you were the first time I saw you at the clinic. Why do you think I kept coming back?"