Breaking the Wrong (40 page)

With every move, I’m aware of everything around me
. The minute my skin starts to tingle, I know Macsen’s eyes are on my body.

My steps falter for a second as my body starts to feel like it’s on fire. When I catch my breath, my anger makes me turn around
. My back presses against Sebastian’s chest and I hear him inhale loudly. But all I see is Macsen across from me, taking me in slowly.

His beer is half
way to his mouth when he looks me in the eyes. I give him a challenging glare.

His eyes start at my jeans and move higher until he lands on the low v-cut of my cardigan
. A muscle in his jaw ticks. I smirk and extend my hands in the air and wrap them around the back of Sebastian’s neck.

Watch me, watch me, watch me.

And he does.

I have so much power over him that the slutty girl next to him may be touching him, but I have his full attention. I have everything she wants.

I move my body against Sebastian just as Mirah sings over the speakers:
You better help me learn how to behave.

My pulse pounds rapidly with lust
, and I close my eyes and pretend that it’s Macsen’s hands banded tightly around my waist, drifting higher and higher.

I focus on the song and when I hear
the lyrics:
You’ve got me all wired up.
I open my eyes and look over at Macsen. His pupils are dilated and I know I’m pouring kerosene over an already lit fire. I can see it in the way Macsen’s eyes narrow that he’s seconds away from stepping forward in my direction.

But he leans against the wall and watches me the whole time and it feels like I’m dancing for him.

During the whole song, he watches me without moving away from the wall and when it finishes his chest is heaving just as fast as mine.

“Everybody listen up!” Chris shouts.

I hold Macsen’s gaze for a second, but he looks at Chris and I know the moment is gone. I try to catch my breath and turn my body to look at Chris. He smiles widely at everyone and wraps an arm around Macsen.

“It’s this mother
fucker’s birthday!”

The place erupts with
hollers and whistles. Macsen smiles for a second and it’s like he remembers I’m there. His smile is wiped clean and he stares directly at me, practically boring holes through my body. I swallow and feel a surge of unease traveling up my spine.

“I think we should
make Mac do a few Seven and Sevens-”

“Can I say something?” Macsen shouts.

Chris cocks his head to the side and everyone stares at Macsen curiously. I turn frantically to Thayer and Severine and the two of them stand next to me, looking just as worried.

Macsen smiles at everyone and yells, “I want to thank everyone for showing up!” People smile and
cheer and Macsen keeps talking, but this time he’s looking at me. He raises a finger and points it directly at Sebastian. His eyes go from friendly to hateful in seconds flat.  “And to you, Seabiscuit…”

“Oh, shit,” I hear Thayer mutter behind me.

“Is he drunk?” I whisper to him.

“I’m gonna go with yes,” he replies.

Sebastian tenses next to me. I want to slink away from the room but Macsen’s words practically paralyze me. “I think it’s great to see you here, and I think it’s even better to eye fuck my ex-girlfriend the whole night!”

My face pales and Severine grabs my upper arm. Everyone looks around at each other, unsure
of what to do.

“Did you have fun teasing me
, Emilia?” I stay rooted to the spot and watch him. A few people look around, looking for Emilia. Only a handful look directly at me, and their stares are filled with curiosity. I have no doubt that my cheeks are red. Macsen opens his mouth and Chris quickly interjects.

“Okay! Thank you
, birthday boy. Such a great speech,” Chris says loudly.

I take off and practically run out of the door.
Severine and Tosha are by my side with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Severine quickly rushes out. “I knew Chris was planning this party and there might be sluttastic girls here but I didn’t think Macsen would do anything like that.”

“But he didn’t expect Emilia to do that,” Tosha points out with a grin. I glare at her and quickly pull my car keys out of my back pocket.

“I’m proud of you!” she exclaims. “You owned him and everyone in that room!”

“He just called me out in front of everyone!” I shout.

“He’s hurt,” Tosha says gently.

Resting my elbows on the trunk of my car, I take a deep breath, hoping I don’t cry. “I’m hurt too,” I reply.

“Emilia!”

That voice is the same voice that just called me out in front of everyone. I know I shouldn’t turn around, but I do anyway. Macsen jogs toward me with a frown firmly planted on his face. “What the hell are you doing here?” he shouts.

“I invited her!” Severine interjects.

Macsen looks over and glares at her. “No one told you to do that.”

“Just go inside.
” I shake my head and look down at the ground. “Go back to the redhead.”

He lifts his hands in the air and lets out a bitter laugh. “I didn’t know you’d be here!”

“And if I wasn’t?” I ask. “Would you be sticking your tongue down her throat right now?”

“What are you trying to do?” Macsen shoves his hands into his unruly hair. “Are you trying to torture me?”

“Macsen,” Chris says seriously and pats him on the shoulder. “Let’s go inside and get a drink.”

He shrugs Chris off and advances toward me. His eyes never leave my face. “You switch tutors, you come here tonight and let that little fucker touch you everywhere!”

I stand tall and crane my neck up to look at him. “I was dancing.”

“No, you were dancing for me. You wanted me to see the whole thing!”

“Yes! I did!” I step closer and the tips of my breasts almost touch his chest. Quickly, I’m forgetting that people are around us. “You told me to leave you alone and when I do, you resent me! But then you’re with that girl, letting her hang all over you! You make no sense, Macsen!”

“You’re driving me crazy!”
he shouts. His chest rises slowly as he looks me in the eyes. “Are you doing this on purpose?”

I open my mouth to say more but stop short when I see the crowd of people that have filtered out of the party and onto the sidewalk. “I’m gonna go.”

“No!” Macsen grabs my arm. “You’re here now, so let’s talk this out.”

“Not in front of everyone and y
ou’re drunk,” I hiss out and yank my arm away.

“Why the
hell do you think I’m drunk?” he shouts. “It’s because of you!”

I slip away from him. My whole body shakes when I slam my car door and it does
n’t let up the whole ride home. Even my innocent plans backfire on me.

I wait until I’m in
my room to cry.

EMILIA

I hear loud banging. Instantly, I sit up. My heart thunders as I look around wildly for the noise and finally realize it’s coming from the door.

The pounding is incessant and I groan as I sit up in bed and look down at
my body. I’m still dressed. After the disastrous party at Macsen’s, I came home and passed out on my bed. Glancing at my phone, I see it’s two in the morning.

Slowly, I move toward the door.
I’m cautious because Severine is never here on the weekends, and if she would be, she’d never pound on the door. I slightly part open the door. Macsen barges in. He reeks of smoke.

His legs are shaky as he walks into the middle of the room. And when he turns around, my eyes
widen. He doesn’t even look like himself. His dark hair is standing up in some areas, and his collar is awkwardly sticking out of his coat.

He points at me, and his finger wobbles. “I almost kissed her,” Macsen slurs out.

His words stab me right in the middle of the heart, right where it hurts the most.  Wrapping my arms around me, I lean against the door. “Who?”

I kno
w who, but for some reason I want to know her name.

Macsen stumbles out his words,
“I don’t know.” He shrugs off his jacket and tosses it onto my bed.

“You’re drunk,” I accuse.

My words make him stop staring at my body and he looks me in the eye. “Yes
,
Emilian
a
.” The way he says my full name makes me squeeze my eyes shut.

“How did you get here?”

Macsen shoves his sleeves up and looks around my room casually. “I drove.”

“Are you insane?” I shout.

“You left,” he says calmly, as if that justifies him driving drunk.

I lean against the door with my hand resting on the doorknob. “And you drove over here to tell me you almost kissed someone else?”

This is a disaster. As much as I want to talk to him, I don’t want to talk to drunk Macsen. This Macsen stares at me with so much raw hurt, it makes my hands shake.

“I was so close,” he rasps out and rubs his eyes. “I was so close to kissing her.” 

He still belongs to me. And it’s selfish of me to feel that way, but it’s the truth. I can’t listen to him tell me how he ‘almost’ kissed someone. It hurts too much. A thousand shards of glass are nicking my heart. If he came here to hurt me, he’s succeeding.

I draw air into my lungs and shake my head. “You need to go.”

The words aren’t even out of my mouth before I feel two large hands wrap around my wrists. Macsen presses his body against mine and I stay perfectly still, trying not to breathe him in because past that cigarette smoke is his scent, the one I love.

His face moves closer as he asks me,
“Is Sebastian a good tutor?”

My head thuds against the door. I close my eyes and feel Macsen rest his head on my shoulder. We sit there in silence, until I finally answer him. “Why are you asking about him?”

He lifts his head, and his bright green eyes are bloodshot. “He likes you.”

“Macsen, he’s just helping me.”

Adamantly, he shakes his head. “He wants you … bad.”

The intensity in his voice makes me sag completely against the door. “I don’t want to talk about this,” I whisper.

“I blame you for this,” Macsen replies sadly. He moves his hands away and my palms flatten against the door as he leans down to me. Macsen’s nose brushes against my own. “I was so close.” His head drops down to my neck. He kisses me once and breathes deep. His tortured voice turns into a whisper as he wraps his hands around my neck. “You’ve ruined every girl for me,” he murmurs.

I release a shaky breath as his free hand
moves to the buttons of my sweater. He breathes rapidly and two buttons come undone. I feel Macsen’s hands slip underneath the straps of my bra.

I wrench myself away from him and back up, walking deeper into the room.
I don’t want him to forget everything tomorrow. As much as I want him, I want him to always remember every single time we’re together. I know I deserve that much. Macsen is panting as he takes a step closer to me, and I hold my hands up in the air.

Alcohol
reveals a person’s true emotions. I’m used to Macsen being composed and quiet. I’m not used to seeing him desperate and crushed. My eyes close and I fight the urge to wrap my arms around him.

“Wh
y were you there?” he whispers.

Reluctantly, I open my eyes and look at Macsen. Nothing will come out of my mouth.

“Why?” he shouts. I jump and he steps forward and grips his hair painfully. “How can I forget about you when you’re everywhere?”

“It was your birthday,” I tell him lamely. He loo
ks at me blankly and I continue, “And I just wanted to see you outside of class, where you can’t pretend I’m not there!”

“I know you’re there!” h
e yells.

Swallowing back my nerves, I take a step forward and point a finger at him.
“If you’re trying to forget about me, why are you here? I didn’t make you show up!”

Macsen turns his head and glances at me with anger. “But you did,” he smiles darkly, “y
ou did because even when I’m trying to forget about you, you’re in my mind telling me what to do.”

Everything he’s admitting makes my heart drum wildly in my chest. He still needs me. There’s still a chance for me to make this right.
“I don’t want to stay away from you! Do you think I want that?”

Lacing his fingers behind his head, he snorts and looks up at the ceiling. “I don’t know what you want, Emilia. You danced against some guy and let him grope you!”

Dancing with Sebastian tonight was a mistake. It drove Macsen crazy and I knew that then, but now I see just how jealous and torn up he is. He’s jealous enough to show up at my dorm when he hasn’t even acknowledged me in the last few days.