Breaking Shaun (43 page)

Six Days Later…

I hadn’t heard anything from Natalie for the last week. I’d tried to forget about her. I’d told myself that what we had was good while it lasted, but I needed to move on. At least she had been smart enough to stop things before they could go too far, or maybe she had just been as scared of her feelings as I was. Either way, my instincts said Natalie was done, and our arrangement was over.

I’d never imagined it would hurt as bad as it did. I had been in a shitty mood all week, and I’d taken it out on everyone around me. I had gone out for drinks with Dre on Thursday, but I’d spent the entire time at the bar nursing beers. If I felt this bad after only a few weeks with Natalie, I would hate to know how I’d feel if we’d been together longer.

It was a dreary and damp Monday morning, and I was getting dressed for work when there was a knock at my front door. When I opened it, Natalie was standing there in a pair of jean shorts and a tank top. My eyes swept over her body before meeting her gaze. She was rubbing her lips together, and just as she opened her mouth to speak, I stopped her by leaning down and kissing her.

God, I missed her lips.
It hadn’t even been a week since I last felt them on me, but I’d thought I would never feel them again.

Natalie kissed me back, and I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer. With her warm, soft body pressed against mine, our kiss grew more urgent, and I took us backward into my apartment. I kicked the door shut and pushed her back against it. Her hands slipped under my shirt and ran over my abs and up to my chest. Lifting my arms, I let her take it off before kissing her again.

We both started unbuttoning our shorts, and we kicked them off. I took her breasts in my hands and pushed her harder against the door as I pressed myself onto her. I wanted her to feel what she was doing to me, to know I had no control over it. Her hands moved to my hair when I finally broke our kiss, and my mouth started a trail down her neck. I wanted to tell her how much I’d missed her, how much I craved her, but I didn’t. Instead, I tried to show her. I picked her up, and when she wrapped her legs around my waist, I could feel the warmth between them as I brought my hips closer.

I carried her into my bedroom and tossed her onto the bed. I wanted to taste all of her. I pulled her panties down her legs and dropped them on the floor before kneeling beside them. Taking her hips into my hands, I dragged her to the edge of the bed as she giggled. I smiled and spread her legs wide before peering up at her and letting my tongue come out to lick her. Natalie gasped and put her hands on top of mine. I slid my tongue through her folds before stopping on her clit and flicking it lightly with the tip. I moved it faster, and Natalie’s back arched off my bed, her hands curling tighter around mine.

“Oh God,” she breathed.

Her breaths came faster as I sucked her clit between my lips before starting all over again. Releasing one of my hands from her, I moved it and slipped two fingers inside her wet pussy. I used the palm of my hand to press against her clit as I stood up and leaned over her. I curled my fingers to reach her G-spot, and I began circling them against it, watching as her eyes rolled back and her lips parted on another gasp. I could feel her insides tightening around my fingers, and I began fucking her with them as she came.

I was breathing hard from just watching her. Leaning down, I used my other hand to pull down her top, and I took one of her nipples into my mouth. I peered up to see her come apart under me. I loved pleasuring her. I loved watching her as the ecstasy took her over, and everything else fell away.

I wanted to bury myself in her so fucking bad that it hurt. I wanted to forget about the fucking condom and feel her skin against mine. I didn’t want anything between us when I fucked her, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask. If she said no, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to take it.

Instead, I let my fingers slide out of her before reaching over to my nightstand and getting a condom. I looked down at Natalie lying on my bed, and she held my eyes as I ripped the package open with my teeth. She licked her lips, and her eyes moved down to my cock. It was so hard. I knew once I was inside her, I’d never want to leave. I rolled the condom on and moved back between Natalie’s legs as her eyes made a trail up my body.

“Get on your hands and knees and turn around,” I said.

When our gazes met, Natalie gave me a sexy grin, and then she did what she had been told.

Goddamn.
The curves of her ass looked perfect, and her wet pussy was so fucking gorgeous, just waiting for me to slip inside. Taking a step closer, I put my hands on Natalie’s waist and pulled her back toward the edge of the bed again. After licking my fingers, I moved them down to her clit and began making circles against her swollen skin. She moaned and dropped her head to the mattress, her hair sprawling out around her. She was completely bent over now, and I moved those same fingers to her pussy and pressed them inside her.

“Oh fuck,” she moaned.

I twisted my fingers and then slid them out slowly. “Did you miss my dick? That’s why you came over, isn’t it? Because you wanted to feel my hard cock deep inside your wet pussy,” I said as I put my fingers inside her again.

Natalie nodded her head, but she knew that wasn’t what I wanted. I squeezed her ass in my other hand and stopped fucking her with my fingers.

“Yes,” she said, her grip tightening on my sheets.

“Yes, what?” I asked, pulling my fingers out of her.

Natalie got back up on her hands and turned to look me in the eyes. “I came here because I wanted you to fuck me.”

I hadn’t realized it until that moment, but those words were what I’d been waiting to hear. I needed to know that things between us hadn’t changed.

Taking my dick in my hand, I guided it toward Natalie’s pussy and pressed myself inside slowly. Her head fell forward, and I hissed as I felt the exquisite pressure surrounding my cock. She felt so fucking good. Every movement of our bodies sent shivers of pleasure down my spine. I started off slow, but then I gave us what we both wanted, and I fucked her.

I hadn’t been surprised when I didn’t hear from Shaun all week. I knew he had been able to tell I was freaking out when I left his apartment on Tuesday, and the fact that he hadn’t said anything showed me he understood. I’d spent so much of the last week trying to decide what to do.

Part of me had wanted to stop this thing with Shaun. I’d already known I was in danger of getting my heart broken, and as much as it would hurt now, it would save me from even more heartache later. But somewhere deep inside me, that hope still lived. That little girl who wanted to believe in fairy tales and know what true love felt like was still there.

Shaun made me feel alive, and I’d decided if I wanted to really live, I would have to take risks—even with my heart. I knew it wasn’t smart. Everyone had warned me that Shaun wasn’t looking for love, but neither was I. I wasn’t going to fight whatever this was between Shaun and me.

So, there I was, lying in Shaun’s bed again after he’d fucked me. I loved it. I loved being with him and having him near me. Even though I knew he felt something, too, I also realized he wasn’t ready to admit it. It was like there was an elephant in the room that neither of us wanted to acknowledge, so I tried to pretend it didn’t exist.

“I signed up for some photography classes,” I said, turning to face Shaun.

He smiled and seemed to relax a little. “Good job, Killer.”

“So, it’s your turn now. Are you going to talk to Marcus?”

Shaun sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Come on, don’t be a pussy,” I teased with a playful grin.

He chuckled and met my gaze. “I’ll talk to him this weekend when he gets back.”

“Good.”

I smiled, and Shaun did, too.

“So, what are you doing today?” I asked as I sat up and started searching the floor for my panties.

“I was actually about to go to work.”

I stopped looking and faced him. “Oh. I’m sorry. I thought you were always off on Mondays.”

Shaun shook his head. “No, it’s cool. I was just gonna stop by and check on things.”

“Okay. Well, I can go.”

I went to get up, but Shaun put his hand on my arm to stop me.

“Stay. It’s raining outside anyway. Who wants to go out in that?”

I laughed as I fell back onto the bed. “Okay, so what should we do?”

“Just relax, Killer. Don’t do anything.”

Pressing my head back into a pillow, I stared up at Shaun’s ceiling and took a deep breath.
I can do this.

“Have you found a new apartment yet?” he asked, turning his head to face me.

The sun was shining in through his window, and a beam of light was on his face. His green eyes were so beautiful, and when he’d spoken, his deep voice had seemed to vibrate through me. I bit my bottom lip, trying to focus on what he’d asked me.

“Oh. No, I haven’t gone out to look yet. I checked some places online though. Nick said he wants me to stay with him for at least another month, so…” I trailed off, unsure of what to say next.

“I didn’t think you’d come back,” Shaun said, interrupting my train of thought.

So much for avoiding the elephant.

Shaun’s eyes were searching mine, and I could feel my hands starting to sweat as I contemplated how to respond.

“I like you, Killer, and not just in my bed. I’ve never been with a woman who has made me want more than that. This is all new to me, and honestly, I’m having a hard time with it.”

My heart was beating a mile a minute, and I couldn’t help but smile as Shaun confessed he had feelings for me.

“The thing is…I don’t like labels. If we start using them, I know things are going to change. Our expectations will change, and so will everything else, maybe even our feelings for each other.”

I could feel the smile slipping from my lips as he spoke, but I knew what he was saying was true. Shaun and I liked each other because we were free to be who we were with no barriers, no rules, and no accountability. A relationship would mess that up.

“If you want out, I get it,” Shaun told me, his eyes still searching mine. “If you want a relationship, I mean. You deserve to have what you want, Natalie. You should be happy, and if I can’t give that to you—”

I shook my head and sat up. “I am happy,” I said, interrupting him. “I’m not sure I’m ready for a relationship either.”

Shaun grinned at me before sitting up, too. “So, are we good? Nothing’s changed?”

I smiled and gave him a small nod. “Nothing’s changed.”

His face lit up with a smile, and before I could say anything else, Shaun was kissing me.