Breaking Free (12 page)

I nod.

He walks toward me until he is standing in front of me, staring into my eyes. “Hey, you okay?” I nod my head again, trying to process all of the thoughts floating around in my head. “Did you lose your voice?”

I laugh. “No, sorry. I’m just a little tired.”

His hands pull me closer to him. “Hmmm, well I
would
say I’m sorry; however, I plan on making sure you’re
very
tired tomorrow morning, too. Now get dressed.” He smacks my butt and walks out the door.

I go through my suitcase and pick out an outfit. Once I’m dressed, I look in the mirror and it hits me.

I love Drew Walker.

I’m screwed.

Chapter Nine

As we drive through the city, my neurotic brain is dissecting everything that’s happened over the past of couple days, trying to figure out if Drew feels the same. He came back for me. He said he doesn’t want a girlfriend. He wanted me with him in his house. He doesn’t trust me enough to tell me about his past, but then again, the same goes for me. He seemed completely comfortable with me meeting his family. Half of the time I feel like a possession or a damn trophy. He’s taking me to a public event with him tomorrow.
This shit is making my head hurt.

The car stops and we’re in front of the W Hollywood Hotel. Why the heck are we at a hotel? Drew gets out and opens my door while he hands the valet his keys. When we walk in, the lobby is decorated in a red and white color pattern. It looks so expensive in here that I’m scared to walk because I might scratch the floors. There are circular couches, a huge curved staircase with a glass railing, and a magnificent chandelier. Drew pulls me toward the elevator while I’m still staring wide mouthed at everything.

We take the elevator to the top floor, and as it opens, I see doors with the name Drai’s on it. There is a huge line of people waiting to get in and I can feel their dirty looks as Drew pulls me to the front of the line. He gives the doorman his name and they immediately open the doors for us. I hear numerous curses and insults as the door closes behind us. A young girl in a little black dress walks us through what I’m still not sure is a restaurant or a club. The room is lit in shades of red, blue, and gold with couches dispersed around what I think might be a dance floor. Okay, maybe it
is
a club. I wouldn’t have pictured Drew as the club type. We’re shown to a circular couch surrounding a table with a sign that says ‘reserved’ on it.

“Your waitress will be over shortly, Mr. Walker. Enjoy.”

Drew tips her and then pulls me to sit next to him. “So, what do you think?”

“I think it’s gorgeous in here. What is it, though? I’ve been trying to figure out if it’s a club or a restaurant.”

He laughs. He always seems to be laughing at me. “It’s both if you have enough money. They always have stupid ass parties here but I never go. I’ve heard it’s nice, though, and I thought you might like it.”

I run my fingers through the hair at the back of his neck. Maybe this could work. Maybe he
does
care about me.

Drew leans into me to whisper in my ear, and as he does, his hand lands on my thigh. My whole body breaks out in goose bumps. “I don’t know how I’m going to keep myself from fucking you right here in this booth, James.”
And he ruined it.
I have to stop trying to figure him out; I don’t think anyone will ever be able to do that. He kisses me and I get lost in him as I always do. “Do you want to dance?”

I hadn’t even noticed how crowded it got in here within the past couple of minutes. There are people crowding the dance floor. “Is it okay? I mean, I know you usually need to keep a low profile.”

“Babe, this is LA, no one gives a shit.” He takes my hand and leads me to the middle of the floor. His spins me around while holding onto one hand, and when I stop, my back is pressed to his front. I can feel him against me and it makes me gasp. After a minute, I realize neither of us is moving and I start to sway to the music. His hands grip my hips and his chin rests on my shoulder. Every time he moves his head the stubble on his chin grazes me and sends shivers throughout my body.

We’re lost in our own world, his hands skimming lightly over my body in innocent touches. My hands are wrapped around his neck, trying to get as close to him as I can. We don’t even notice what’s coming toward us ‘til it’s too late. A group of drunken idiots got into a fight and they fall into us, catching us off guard and knocking us apart. No one else around seems to notice, but there are people everywhere, and I’m getting claustrophobic. Someone grabs my hips, but when I turn around it isn’t Drew. I do the universal ‘no thank you’ look and hand gesture, but he isn’t taking the hint. He pulls me tighter against him and my body feels like it’s on fire. Not only can I not tolerate his touch, but he’s fucking hurting me.

His head moves closer to me while his hands hold me in place. “You smell good enough to fucking eat.” I feel the nausea coming. I’m going to be sick. I’m no longer in the club, but I’m back to that night months ago. I’m helpless. I need him to let me go. I can’t take this; I think I might pass out. In the blink of an eye, I’m pulled somewhere else with two strong arms holding me close.

“Are you okay?” I look up at Drew. My vision is blurry, though, and I can’t focus on him. My fucking anxiety is killing me right now. “What did you do to her, you sorry piece of shit?!”

The creep shrugs his shoulders and turns away from Drew. He grabs my shoulders. “Give me one second, don’t move an inch.” No arguments here—I don’t even think my legs work right now. He’s looking at me for some acknowledgment and I do the best I can manage and nod.

It all happens so fast—Drew walks up behind the guy, spins him around, and hits him. He falls to the floor like a pile of bricks and then Drew is by my side and walking me toward the door.

I feel numb so it’s almost like he’s half carrying me. When we get into the elevator, I get a whiff of that guy’s scent on me and it all comes back. His hands all over me. It’s not him, though, it’s Chris. I’m back on the floor as he explores my body and all I can do is watch. I’m sobbing from the pain of his touch. I feel someone shaking my shoulders, yelling at me to open my eyes. It’s a struggle, but when I do I see Drew. His face is twisted in what I can only describe as pain and confusion.

“Talk to me. What’s going on?”

We’re on the floor of the elevator and the door dings open. “Can we go home?” Those are the only words I can manage right now. He nods at me. I move to stand up, but before I can, Drew scoops me up into his arms. Thankfully, there are no photographers when we leave the hotel; I’m sure they would have had a field day with this. Drew puts me into the car and I lay my head back, trying to convince my mind that I’m fine, because as far as it’s concerned, I’m reliving that night.

As Drew pulls away, I close my eyes, hoping the dizziness will go away soon. The next thing I know, I feel myself moving and I open my eyes to see Drew’s house. He carries me upstairs, lays me on the bed, and covers me with the blankets. My mind has finally stopped racing and my hands are steady.

When I move to sit up, Drew is next to me in a second. “No, just lie down.” I’m about to object, but then I look in his eyes and see the worry, and I lie back down. I can hear him moving around the room and then the light shuts off. The bed dips next to me and I try to calm down my beating heart.
It’s Drew. I’m safe.
“Can I help you get undressed? I brought you a t-shirt to sleep in.” I nod my head, the sheets are pulled back, and he lifts my tank top over my head. Next, he slides my skirt down my legs. Finally, he pulls his shirt onto me and I’m surrounded by his scent. It’s relaxing.

Drew climbs under the covers next to me, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me close to him. He nuzzles my neck and I smile at the contact. I turn to face him and run my fingers over his face. “I want you right now, Holly.”

I nod, knowing that I need him, too. He carefully lifts his t-shirt off of me, and takes off the boxers he’s wearing. Drew moves so that he is above me and kisses me. There’s something different about this one, though. It isn’t desperate and hungry. The way he’s kissing me right now is almost like he’s absorbing me—like we are connecting on a level we haven’t before.

He slowly pushes into me and my nails dig into his shoulders. Neither of us says anything, but we don’t break eye contact, either. I run my hands along the side of his head through his hair. His movements are slow, precise, and delicious. This is not Drew’s normal style. The look in his eye and his gentle nature is intensifying this experience and my body is building toward its release.

Drew lowers his mouth to kiss my neck, and when he hits the spot behind my ear I come apart, moaning his name. He pulls back to look me in the eye. “That is my favorite sound in the world.” I can feel his whole body tense above me just before he finds his own release. I kiss him and swallow his groans.

That was not sex. That was not fucking. Did Drew Walker just make love to me?

* * *

I wake up in the morning to Drew’s fingers slowly caressing me up and down my side. He kisses my shoulder and I smile. I can’t remember a time when have been more happy. I want to tell him how I feel but the fear of rejection is overwhelming. What if he doesn’t say it back? What if I’m reading our relationship completely wrong? What if he runs?

I turn toward him and look in his eyes; something has changed since last night. I can’t put my finger on it, but something is there that I’ve never seen before. I’m about to open up to him and tell him how I feel when the sound of his phone ringing reverberates through the bedroom.

Drew rolls his eyes as he turns over to grab it. “Hello?...already?...yeah, yeah, yeah. We’ll be down in a minute.”

I look at him in confusion. “Who was that?”

“Apparently, it’s time to start getting ready for tonight.”

“Really? What time is it?”

“Eleven.” He leans down to kiss me. “Too bad they didn’t come an hour later. I had plans for you.”

My whole body tightens and I instantly hate everyone downstairs. Drew hands me one of his t-shirts and a pair of his sweatpants. “You know, I
did
pack clothes of my own.”

He smirks at me. “I know, but now at least those fuckers will see that you belong to me. It even says it on your shirt.” He turns and makes his way downstairs.

When I look down, I see the shirt I’m wearing says ‘Renegades Property’, and I shake my head. I head straight for the kitchen to get my liquid heaven. I see Drew in there and decide to have a little fun with him.

I take the mug he is offering me and smile as I sip it. “You know, technically my shirt says ‘Renegades Property’, that could really mean
anyone
in the band.”

Drew scowls at me and walks out of the kitchen.
Okay, that wasn’t the reaction I was expecting.
A few minutes later, he comes in with a piece of paper.
What the heck is that for?
He pushes it against my shirt and presses down on a piece of tape. When I look down I see ‘PROPERTY OF DREW FUCKING WALKER’ written in black sharpie. I start laughing as he goes back to his seat and continues drinking the coffee he abandoned.

Felicia walks into the kitchen as I’m finishing my coffee. “Are you ready? We have a lot of work to do.”

I’m guessing that’s her way of saying I look like a hot mess? I stand up and follow her out of the room, laughing at the expression of every person that I pass as they look at my shirt.

It has been five damn hours of hair, make-up, an embarrassing waxing session, and taping my boobs down to the point that I’m scared to get undressed tonight.

When I turn to look in the mirror, I barely recognize myself. My hair is swept to one side and curled to perfection. It’s all joined right behind my ear by an intricate diamond flower clip. I made the mistake of calling them rhinestones and was shamed by Felicia. I have on teardrop diamond earrings, and my makeup is done to such perfection that I’m scared to even blink. The dress looks amazing. It hugs every single curve of my body, and even when I’m standing still, the sparkly material makes it seem like I’m moving.

The door opens and Drew walks in and he’s dressed in a black suit and tie. I’ve never seen him in anything but a t-shirt and jeans, so looking at him now awakens every nerve ending in my body. He looks me up and down, then his tongue peeks out and slowly licks his full bottom lip. “You look good enough to eat.”

Feeling brave, I start to exit the room, stopping just by his side and leaning toward him to whisper in his ear, “Maybe later if you’re good.” I hear a sharp intake of breath come from him as I exit the room.

We walk out to what I assume will be the normal black SUV, but in its place is a white stretch hummer. The driver opens the door and I sit down. I’ve never been in a limo before and it’s really nice in here. The door across from me opens and Drew climbs in. He immediately slides over next to me and runs his hand from the strap of my ridiculously high heels up to my thigh. “You like to tease me, don’t you, James?” I nod my head. His mouth descends on my neck and he gently nips at the skin. “Maybe I’ll have to tease you a little, too.”

Drew moves away, leaving me to try and squeeze my thighs together in the hopes of getting some sort of relief.

We’re stuck behind a line of cars and I’m looking around, trying to figure out why the driver doesn’t just go around them. Drew seems to sense my confusion. “It’s the red carpet line. We have to wait our turn to get out of the car. I tried to fucking skip this part but my publicist flipped out.”

Red carpet line?
There are going to be cameras everywhere. I guess I didn’t let myself focus on this fact until right now. I have no idea how to stand or smile or
anything
that I should do. I feel like I’m going to look like such an idiot. Hopefully, they all want to just take pictures of him and I can fade into the background. After almost forty-five minutes of waiting in the stupid car line, we pull up. I see the red carpet and my heart starts to beat out of my chest.
This is it.