Brazen (Brazen 1) (17 page)

Chapter Twenty-One

Jasmine woke the next morning curled tight in Zane’s arms. For a moment, she allowed herself to absorb the utter contentment she felt, but then she remembered the encounter with Seth the previous night.

It was an unwelcome jolt of reality.

Zane’s lips brushed across her temple. “I have to go.”

She turned to him. “Where?”

“San Antonio. Remember?”

She hadn’t remembered. “How long will you be gone?”

“Just for the day. I’ll be back late tonight.” He paused for a minute then cupped her chin in his hand. “You could go with me.”

She was tempted. It would take her away from the ranch and Seth for the day, but then that would defeat the purpose of her coming home in the first place. And what she really wanted was a few hours to wander over the land with her camera. It had always lifted her spirits in the past. Maybe she’d see Old Man again.

“I think I’m going to go out with my camera,” she said. “I haven’t been riding since I got back home. I doubt Esme even remembers me.”

Zane rolled out of bed and strode naked to the door. He looked so graceful and comfortable in his skin. Long, sleek, dark and beautiful. His hair curled down his neck and touched the tops of his shoulders. The muscles in his back bunched and rippled as he pulled a shirt over his head.

When he’d finished dressing, he walked back over to the bed where she was now sitting up, holding the sheet to her chest with one hand. He bent and kissed her—long, hot, breathless.

“Think of me today.”

She smiled. “I will.”

She watched him go, and sighed heavily as the door closed a few seconds later. Her limbs heavy and lethargic, she swung her feet over the edge of the bed and stood. She trudged into the bathroom to take a long hot shower.

Twenty minutes, later, Jasmine walked through the kitchen, surprised to see Carmen nowhere in the vicinity. She laid her camera bag down on the counter and scribbled a quick note telling Carmen where she was going. She stuck it to the fridge with a magnet, collected her camera then headed out to the barn to saddle Esme.

She smiled when she passed Lucky and Tanner, Seth’s and Zane’s horses. She held out a hand to pet their noses before walking on to Esme’s stall.

Just months after arriving at the ranch, Jasmine had gone horse mad. In an effort to indulge her and bring her out of her shell, they’d bought her Esme. But she hadn’t wanted to ride alone, so they’d each gotten a horse so they could accompany her. It had become a favorite pastime of theirs, riding over the terrain in the evenings, deer watching.

“Hey girl,” Jasmine whispered as Esme nuzzled her cheek. Esme whickered softly in return as Jasmine stroked her neck.

After saddling her, Jasmine led her outside the barn into the morning sun. She threw the strap of her camera bag over the pommel then pulled herself up into the saddle.

Her heart lightened as they disappeared into the back country of the ranch. The sun shone hot and unrelenting, and she relished every minute of it. She soaked in the rays, the land, the peace that surrounded her at the idea of being home.

She stopped at the usually dry river bed that now trickled with the remnants of the recent rain and let Esme drink while she took several shots of the jagged serpentine design cut into the sand and rock.

She loved the earthy colors, the smatterings of browns and oranges, deep reds and pale yellows. Every once in a while a jackrabbit would scare up and run balls to the wall across the ground only to disappear behind a clump of cacti.

Jasmine pushed her hair away from her face, the strands damp with sweat. She tucked her camera back into its case and swung back into the saddle. She led Esme away from the creek bed as the sun rose higher.

Home. The word, the feeling, echoed with every clop of Esme’s hooves. Maybe it made her ridiculously sentimental, but never had she experienced such a feeling of homecoming. She’d never had a place where she belonged. Where she fit so well.

Now that feeling was threatened by Seth’s resistance, his rejection of…she wouldn’t say of her, because deep down, she didn’t feel he was rejecting her. He was rejecting what she wanted. Her idea of their future.

She clung to that thought, to the hope that as long as there was something there between them, pulling them together, the rest would fall into place.

But how? She pressed her lips together in a thin line. Her head ached, a dull pounding working at her temples. She knew she’d been incredibly naïve in thinking that what she proposed would be accepted. Oh, she hadn’t expected it to be easy, but in the back of her mind, she’d harbored fantasies of them realizing their love for her and not being willing to let her go.

She sighed. She had to face it. She hadn’t seen beyond her selfish expectations. What she was asking…it wasn’t fair. But then what about love was? She knew she was asking a lot. But it didn’t change the fact that she truly loved both men. Deeply. Passionately. With all her heart. It wasn’t a childish infatuation. It wasn’t a crush that would go away with time. Whether it was fair or not, sane or insane, she loved them both, and she’d never, ever view either man as a “spare”, an extra, in case the first didn’t work out.

She shuddered at the idea that either would perceive the situation like that.

She loved them. Would always love them.

Distracted by the intensity of her thoughts, she allowed the reins too much slack. When a rabbit darted through Esme’s legs, startling her, Jasmine didn’t react fast enough, and the reins were wrenched from her hands.

Esme reared and bolted. Jasmine processed the sensation of sailing through the air a mere second before pain wracked her body, and the air was sucked painfully from her lungs. Her head slammed down and the bright, midday sun went black.

Seth ate lunch, though he didn’t really taste the food. Carmen puttered around, but his focus wasn’t on her, the plate in front of him or the list of things he was supposed to get done today.

It was hard to act normal, like nothing had changed in his life when in fact, nothing would ever be the same. How was he supposed to deal with that?

He’d known from the moment Zane had told him Jasmine was coming home that it marked a turning point. He’d felt it in his bones that things would irrevocably change as soon as she stepped back onto the ranch. He tried really hard to muster some anger at her for that, but he couldn’t.

Somehow, somewhere, he’d let things spiral out of control. He had only himself to blame. As shocking as Jasmine’s revelation was, he couldn’t bring himself to be angry with her. She’d seemed too earnest and then too…devastated.

But he couldn’t control or wish away the surge of jealousy that had overtaken him at the thought of sharing her with another man. He was only just now starting to come to terms with the fact that his feelings for her were forcing their way outward. He was having a hard time keeping them buried, locked away like some dirty, dark secret.

He hated himself for hurting her, something he couldn’t seem to control, but he couldn’t accept the sort of relationship she suggested. Could anyone? It had disaster written all over it. A prickle of irritation nipped at his neck. Why was he even giving the idea enough consideration to call it a disaster? He should be dismissing it as ludicrous, not weighing the potential hazards.

With a barely controlled sigh, he stood and took his plate over to the sink. When he glanced out of the window, he frowned.

Esme plodded inside the back fence, her reins dangling. Jasmine’s camera case was still attached to the pommel and slapped at Esme’s side as she wandered through.

“Carmen,” he called. “Didn’t you say Jasmine was taking Esme out for a ride?”

He heard Carmen shuffle back into the kitchen. “Yes. She left a note.”

Seth swore and raced out of the kitchen, ignoring Carmen’s startled questions.

“Jasmine!” he yelled as he exited the back door. He strode over to Esme and collected the reins. She was jumpy and skittish as if she’d endured a fright. Not taking the time to make sure she was properly put up, he yelled again for Jasmine.

His heart raced with panic. Jasmine wouldn’t have let Esme wander around like that. Which could only mean that rider and horse had parted ways unintentionally.

He took several steadying breaths while he tried to process his options. He yanked his cell phone out of his pocket even as he ran for the shed that housed the four wheelers. Knowing Jasmine, she wouldn’t have stuck to the roads, and he’d need the ATV to find her.

He punched in J.T.’s number as he straddled the four wheeler.

“J.T.,” he said, not waiting for the other man to respond. “Jasmine’s missing. She might be hurt. I could use your help down at the ranch. Esme came in alone. I think she may have thrown Jasmine. Zane’s in San Antonio so I’m here by myself.”

“I’ll be right out,” J.T. said grimly.

Seth hung up and fired up the ATV before roaring out of the shed and through the back gate. He crisscrossed the acreage, his eyes keenly attuned to every hill and scrape.

The sun beat mercilessly down and the hot wind blew over his face as he pressed the ATV to its limits. But he saw no sign of Jasmine.

An hour later, he paused to call J.T. to see where he was. He and another deputy were searching the eastern quadrant in places Jasmine might have ridden Esme. So far they’d come up as empty as he had.

He started off again, frustration beating incessantly at his temples. This was no place to get thrown from a horse. She could die of heat exhaustion in just a few hours’ time.

He topped another hill and stared out across the creek that cut across the terrain. He was about to drive down into the bed when his gaze caught a flash of color a quarter of a mile away.

He gunned the engine and tore off at a breakneck pace. As he neared, he could see it was Jasmine lying on the ground. Sickening fear gripped him as he saw she was unmoving, her eyes closed.

He jumped off the four wheeler and ran to her. He sank to his knees and gently touched her face. “Jasmine. Jasmine, honey, can you hear me?”

Her eyelids fluttered open, and she smiled crookedly at him around cracked, dry lips. “I knew you’d come.” Her face was pink from too much sun, and her green eyes were dull with pain. Dirt and grime accumulated in her hair and streaked her cheeks.

He reached out to touch her, wanting reassurance that she was okay. He closed his eyes as relief poured over him like cool, sweet spring water. “God, baby, you scared the shit out of me,” he said hoarsely. “Are you all right? What happened and where do you hurt?”

“I tried to make it back,” she said in a strained voice. “But my head and my ankle hurt like hell, so I laid down as much out of the sun as I could and waited for you.”

That kind of faith humbled him and terrified him all at one time. “Did Esme throw you?”

“My fault,” she mumbled. “Wasn’t paying attention.”

He gently gathered her in his arms and slowly got to his feet. He cursed when she winced against him. “I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

She shook her head against him. “I’m fine. Really. I didn’t mean to make you worry. Was my own stupid fault.”

He eased onto the four wheeler and cradled her against his chest. He was going to have to be damn careful driving back and carrying her this way.

Before he started the engine, he shifted Jasmine in his arms and pulled out his phone to call J.T.

“I found her,” he said when J.T. answered.

“Thank God. Is she okay? Do I need to have an ambulance waiting?”

Seth glanced down at Jasmine’s closed eyes, her head nestled trustingly against his shoulder.

“No, I don’t think she needs one.”

“Okay. I’ll meet you back at the house.”

Seth slid the phone back into his pocket then tightened his grip on Jasmine as he keyed the ignition. He headed back to the ranch, a lot slower than he’d come. He tried to absorb each bump and jostle, and he cringed each time her fingers dug tighter into his side.

When they rode past the gate, Carmen ran from the house along with J.T. and his deputy. J.T. reached for Jasmine so Seth could get off without jarring her further.

“Are you sure she doesn’t need an ambulance?” J.T. asked doubtfully as Seth reached for her again.

“I’m fine, J.T.,” Jasmine said in a weary voice. “I swear all I need is a hot shower and something for my headache.”

“I need to look at your ankle too,” Seth said as he carried her toward the house.

Carmen walked in behind him, clucking and fussing like an overwrought mother hen. Seth carried Jasmine up the stairs to her bedroom just as he had after the pool incident. Only this time, for some reason, she felt stronger. Not as breakable and fragile. Strange since this time she’d actually sustained a physical injury. Maybe his perception of her was changing.

“I started your shower,” Carmen said as she rushed from Jasmine’s bathroom.

“I think I want a bath,” Jasmine said slowly.

Carmen looked at her in surprise and then smiled. “I’ll go start a bath then.”

“Put me down, Seth,” Jasmine said quietly. “I can get myself into the tub.”

He eased her down to her feet, holding her shoulder as he backed away slightly. She stepped forward, and her knees buckled. She let out a gasp of pain as her foot took the brunt of her weight, and she wavered precariously.

Seth swore and hauled her back into his arms. When she opened her mouth, he cut her off. “Don’t argue with me. I’ll get you into and out of the tub.”

He felt her sag against him in defeat, and he strode over to her bed to lay her down. He tried to approach undressing her in a distant, medical fashion, as if she was merely someone he was concerned about, but the minute he uncovered her creamy skin, all thoughts of distance fled.

He clenched his jaw and tried to think of something, anything other than her soft curves he was fast uncovering. He concentrated instead on her ankle and examining her for other injuries.

When he touched the swollen skin above her heel, she hissed in pain. Without thinking, he leaned down to kiss the area. “I’m sorry, honey. I don’t think it’s broken, but you’re going to have a devil of a time walking on it for a day or two.”