Brazen (Brazen 1) (14 page)

Zane smiled. “Do you remember the time we all went hunting in Alabama and Mom bagged a bigger buck than Dad?”

Seth chuckled. “Sure do. The old man was impossible to live with for a month after.”

“He was proud of her, though. He bragged about her to anyone who would listen.”

“That he did.”

“I miss them,” Zane said simply.

It grew quiet in the cab. “Yeah, so do I,” Seth said finally.

It had been fourteen years since the tragic accident. At eighteen, Seth had just graduated high school and had been ready to go away to college. But he’d hung all that up to stay on the ranch and take care of his fourteen-year-old brother. Those first years had been tough. Not so much financially. Their parents had left them well provided for. But the brothers had been grief-stricken. Zane especially had been at an awkward age where he’d needed his parents. Seth had done the best he could to be both brother and parent, but he knew he hadn’t measured up.

After they’d brought Jasmine home and hired Carmen, a sense of family had been restored to the ranch. It hadn’t seemed as lonely. And when Jasmine had gone away, she’d taken a lot of the life with her. It wasn’t the same without her.

But now that she’d come back, nothing would ever be as it was before. It was a complicated mess.

They drove the rest of the way to the ranch in silence. When Seth parked the truck, he and Zane got out to unhook the trailer and put away the equipment.

“Have a good time at Tucker’s,” Zane said as they made their way to the house. Zane stripped off his shirt and bundled it in a wad. He tossed it down in the laundry room on their way in. “I’m going to head up for a shower. I’ll catch you when you get home.”

Seth nodded as he kicked off his boots. Carmen would have his ass if he tracked dirt on her floors. He pulled off his shirt but stopped short of taking his pants off. In the past, he wouldn’t have hesitated, but now it didn’t seem appropriate. Damn shame when a man couldn’t walk through his own house in his underwear.

He walked barefooted through the kitchen and into the living room. As he started for the stairs, he met Jasmine at the bottom. She ducked her head and looked away but not before he saw the hurt in her eyes and the smudges underneath.

His chest tightened uncomfortably as she walked away. He’d give anything to have last night back again. He’d give anything not to have hurt her. But he’d done nothing but hurt her ever since she’d returned. It seemed to be the one thing he was good at lately.

With a soft curse, he trudged up the stairs to his bathroom. He needed to be away for the evening, and he had no intention of looking up Mary Jo, or any other woman for that matter. What he could use were a few stiff drinks and a bottle of you-fucked-up.

Chapter Sixteen

It was just as well that Seth had left. If Zane had to guess, he’d be gone damn near all night. He had that dark look that meant he was brooding about something, and when that happened, he usually threw back a few and slept it off in town.

Jaz was in her room, and he hadn’t heard a peep from her all evening. As ridiculous as it sounded, Zane was nervous about going to her. He knew he’d hurt her with his brush-off and subsequent avoidance. She might not be in a very receptive mood.

But he had to address this thing between them. He had to do something to assuage the constant ache. It wasn’t just sexual either. His chest hurt half the time and the other half he felt strangely empty.

He stood outside of Jaz’s room and tapped lightly on her door. When he heard her soft call to come in, he pushed the door open and stepped around it.

She was sitting on the bed, her back propped against the half dozen pillows she insisted on sleeping with. She was wearing only a thin T-shirt that touched the top of her navel and a pair of lacy panties.

When she met his gaze, her cheeks became a dusty pink, and she grabbed for the covers. “I thought you were Carmen.”

He said nothing. He walked over to the bed, sat down on the edge and drew one leg up so he was turned toward her.

“I’ve missed you, Jaz,” he said simply.

He reached out a hand to touch her cheek. Her eyes closed briefly as if she found pleasure in his gesture. He stroked his fingers over her skin and pulled her hair away from her face to tuck it behind her ear.

“I’ve missed you too,” she whispered.

Slowly he lowered his head, closing the distance between them. He slid his hand behind her neck until his palm cradled the base of her skull. He pulled her to him to meet his kiss.

A soft sigh escaped her, and he felt a tremor work its way through her body.

“I want you, Jaz. I’ve argued with myself. I swore I wouldn’t touch you, but at the moment, I can’t think of a single reason why I can’t make love to you.”

As she pulled further away, he could see shadows in her eyes. The sight did funny things to his heart. He wanted her to shine. He wanted to make her light up. It was only now that he realized just how much his rejection had hurt her.

“I won’t push you away again, honey,” he murmured as he trailed a finger down the line of her jaw.

She sighed heavily. “There are things you need to know, Zane. I have to be honest with you. I can’t hide the truth from you anymore.”

Jasmine watched as he processed her statement with a look of wariness. He glanced uncertainly at her.

“What do you need to tell me?” he asked cautiously.

His hand paused in its descent, and she reached up to cup it, wanting to touch him in some way. She wasn’t sure how he would take her revelation. She wasn’t really ready to tell him, but if he was here for why she thought, she couldn’t allow matters to go further without him knowing everything.

Zane appreciated bluntness. He wasn’t much into games or long, drawn-out dramas so the longer she pussyfooted around the issue, the more annoyed he’d become.

“I slept with Seth last night.”

Zane blinked in surprise. “Slept? As in slept like you do sometimes in my bed or are we talking about something else?”

“As in I was a virgin when you and I had sex, and then I had sex with Seth. He was my first. Well, technically you were my first,” she corrected and groaned inwardly at the mess she was making of things. “He was the first I had actual intercourse with.”

Zane’s hand fell away from her face, and he dragged it through his hair, a look of confusion marring his features.

“But why? I mean I noticed that things weren’t good between you and Seth, but I assumed it was because of what happened between you and me.”

If she didn’t make him understand and understand soon, she was going to lose him before she ever got her mouth open. She leaned forward, curling her feet underneath her so she pressed into his chest. He was stiff against her.

She moved her hands up his body, and then she cupped his face between her palms. “I love you, Zane.”

He looked even more confused by her declaration.

“But I love Seth, too.”

Understanding flickered in his eyes, something she hadn’t expected.

He reached up and took one of her hands from his face. He turned it over and pressed his lips to her palm. “What happened with Seth?”

“He was furious with me,” she admitted. “I snuck into his room and seduced him. Things were good until he realized I was a virgin. Then he got pissed and we didn’t finish. He hasn’t spoken to me since.”

“Does he know you love him…me?”

“I told him I loved him. I haven’t told him I love you. He won’t accept that I love him, so I can’t imagine he’d take the news that I love you both any better.”

Zane sighed. “We’ve both hurt you badly.”

“I haven’t handled it well.” She shrugged. “What was I supposed to do? I don’t always understand it myself. There aren’t any rule books for something like this.”

She studied his face, looking for disgust, anger, anything to let her know that she’d just lost any chance of earning his love. But all she saw was the same understanding she’d seen earlier.

“Does it make you angry?” she asked hesitantly.

His lips twisted, and he gave a little shrug. “To be honest, I’m not sure how I feel. I suppose I should be angry. Jealous even. But I can also understand how you have feelings for us both.”

He studied her for a long moment. “What is it that you want, Jaz? Because I want you happy above all else.”

She hesitated, gathering her courage and praying that what she was about to say wouldn’t drive him away.

“What if I told you that the only way I could be happy is if I was with you both. If you both loved me and were willing to accept that I loved you both?”

She saw an odd mixture of relief as well as something else she couldn’t quite name in his eyes.

“You’re not holding out for which of us makes a move first?” he asked gruffly.

She was a little stung by the question even though she recognized how it must look. What she was proposing wasn’t everyday run-of-the-mill.

“I love you both,” she said simply. “I want…I want a life with both of you. It’s why I came home. Is that something you can accept?”

She regretted the question. It was too soon. She hadn’t given him time, and she shouldn’t be pressuring him.

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I came to you tonight because I wanted you in my arms. I wanted to make love to you. I wasn’t prepared—”

She put a finger over his lips to shush him. “Then love me,” she said softly. “Everything else can wait.”

Chapter Seventeen

Zane looked at Jasmine with hungry eyes. Her heart fluttered and rolled as he leaned in to kiss her. His hands cupped her face, and his thumbs brushed across her cheek bones as his tongue found hers.

He pushed forward, leaning her back until she settled against the pillows. He kissed her lovingly, so gently, her chest swelled and ached.

His hands skated down her body until they reached her hips. He lifted his weight off her long enough to pull her down the bed until she was lying flat on the mattress.

He settled above her, looking down with fierce eyes. “Did he hurt you, Jaz?”

She swallowed at the concern in his voice. “It was my first time. Carmen said if he had known, he could have made it better for me.”

“I’ll take care of you, baby,” he murmured, his words a promise that brushed across her skin, a caress she felt to her soul.

He lowered his dark head to kiss her belly. His hands inched up from their grip on her hips. He inserted his fingers under the band of her T-shirt and pulled, the soft material rubbing across her taut nipples.

He emitted a sound of male satisfaction when her breasts bobbed free of the shirt. He yanked it the rest of the way over her head and tossed it to the floor.

For a long moment, he cradled her there in his arms just looking at her. He nudged her legs open and settled his big body between them, his head positioned at her ribcage.

He pressed soft, tender kisses to her belly and up and down the ridge of her ribs. She shivered as his tongue lapped at the underswell of her breast. It moved closer to her nipple until finally, the bud balanced on the end of his tongue. He let it rest there for a moment before sucking it strongly between his teeth.

She arched into him with a cry.

He continued to suck with rhythmic motions as he reached down to tug at her panties. She elevated her hips in an effort to help him.

He released her nipple for a moment as he pulled the underwear free of her legs. She couldn’t help the sigh of disappointment.

He chuckled and glanced back up at her, his eyes fiery with desire. “Don’t worry, baby. I’m not going anywhere. I plan to give you everything you could possibly want and more.”

Her pussy clenched as his words sent lust blazing through her core. “I want
you
,” she said simply.

“You’ll have me.”

Their gazes met, and she saw promise in his eyes. Determination. Did this mean he was okay with all she’d told him? For now, she didn’t want to dwell on it. What she wanted most was to be in his arms, his body over hers, him driving into her, making her his. God, she wanted to be his. She’d spent so long dreaming about this moment.

She reached for him, wanting him, all of him. He went willingly into her arms, and she held him close as his muscled body covered hers.

He kissed her neck and nibbled at the sensitive skin. He nipped at her ears, sucked at the lobes, alternating between the two.

She could feel his hardness cradled between her legs, her pussy cupping him. She wasn’t afraid. She hadn’t been afraid of Seth, just unprepared. She widened her legs and curled them around his body, wanting him inside her.

“No baby, not yet,” he murmured in her ear. “You’re not ready.”

She moaned. “Yes, I am.”

He chuckled again. “No, you’re not. But you will be before I’m through.”

He began to slide down her body, slowly, showering kisses as he made his way down. He stopped at her breasts and gave each equal attention. He lapped at the buds and sucked them until she was restless and aching with need. But he didn’t stop there.

He moved lower to her belly and traced the area around her navel. He played with her belly ring for a while before he finally pressed tiny kisses down to her pelvis.

He placed his head between her legs and kissed the insides of both thighs. With an impatient nudge, he pushed her legs further apart so that her pussy was completely bared to him.

“Please,” she whispered.

He parted her folds with a gentle finger and then pressed his tongue to her opening. Her hips convulsed as tiny spasms radiated from her pelvis.

He licked upward, and she jumped again when the tip of his tongue slid across her clit. He lapped repeatedly, working the quivering button into a firestorm of sensation. He swirled around and over then sucked it into his mouth to tease her some more.

“I’ve dreamed of tasting you again. You’re like an addiction. After that first time, I could think of nothing else. I can’t wait to feel that sweet heat surrounding my dick, can’t wait to lose myself in you, baby.”

She closed her eyes as his words enveloped her like a safety net protecting her from the rest of the world. Nothing could hurt her here, in his arms.