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“Can I borrow your car?”

Brent glanced up, his mouth still on the girl’s neck, a slow

grin on his face as he licked her once and then turned to me.

“You and Nate want some alone time?”

I nodded, not in the mood to play games, as I held out

my hand.

He reached into his front pockets and then tossed the keys to

me. “I’ll get a ride with someone.”

“Thanks.”

In seconds, I was back with Nathan, and I guess I looked

wild or crazy or, I don’t know how I looked, but he waved off

football
buddy
and grabbed my hand.

“Are you all right?”

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I nodded. “Yeah.”

No.

“Can we get out of here?”

Nathan stared down at the keys in my hand. “Are you sure

about this?”

I reached up and kissed his mouth, this boy who I loved

so much, and I whispered, “I’ve never been more sure

about anything.”

His dark eyes fell to my lips and he nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay,” I repeated, pulling him after me as we disappeared

into the dark.

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The ride back to my place didn’t take long. Five minutes maybe.

But it was a long five minutes.

A long five minutes filled with a lot of thoughts I wasn’t so

sure I should be thinking about.

First off, Monroe looked so freaking hot tonight that I’d

barely been able to keep my hands off her. That little top she

wore had Brent’s eyes bugging out of his head when he’d first

laid eyes on her.

I couldn’t blame the guy. He was human after all, but still.

I’d never felt this possessive of a girl before, and when I caught Chad checking her out— elbowing the guys on the team to do

the same— I could have easily gone all caveman on them, but I

didn’t think Monroe would like that kind of shit.

But the thing that made all of this so much harder was the

fact that this was our last night together, and though I tried to keep my thoughts PG, it hadn’t exactly worked.

I thought about her in that little bikini she’d worn when I

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had taken her to Baker’s Landing. I thought of how she’d felt all slippery and wet. How her pupils dilated when she kissed me

and she made these sounds in her throat when I kissed her back.

She was so beautiful. So damn perfect.

And I didn’t know what to do with that. It wasn’t that I didn’t

think I deserved her, I was over that shit. But I loved this girl— I loved her more than I thought it was possible to love a girl. And here we were, counting down our last minutes together, and I

suppose I should have been happy to just cuddle and talk, but

man, all I could think about was getting her alone. In my room.

Naked.

“We’re here.”

Yanked from my thoughts, I glanced at my house. A house

that was in darkness.

A house that was empty.

She cut the engine and turned to me. “I had to get out of

there,” she said suddenly.

“I know.” I tried to make things light, but when she turned

to me, there were tears in her eyes. What the hell?

“Hey,” I whispered, unbuckling my seatbelt as she did the

same and scooted over onto my lap. “What’s wrong?”

She shook her head as if she was trying to decide what to

say, and then she spoke so softly I had to listen hard in order

to hear her.

“I talked to Rachel.”

“Rachel,” I repeated.

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I tried to keep it together. To keep it cool. But the truth was,

there was a lot that Rachel could tell Monroe if she wanted to

screw my night up.
A
lot.
Shit. This had to be a guy’s worst nightmare. No one wanted their ex- girlfriend gossiping about

sex stuff to the new girlfriend.

“She seems really messed up.”

I nodded. Messed up was an understatement. I’d known

Rachel for a long time, and she was way more messed up than

anyone knew. There were a lot of family issues— mainly with

her step- father— and she smoked too much weed and drank

more than she should. I wasn’t sure if she was ever going to be

the carefree fun girl I started dating in ninth grade.

“What did she want?” I asked hesitantly.

“I’m not sure,” Monroe said. “But I think she was checking

to make sure I was treating you right.”

Huh.

Monroe was quiet for a few moments, her forehead furrowed

as if she was thinking really hard.

“She’s going to need someone this year. I mean, I won’t be

upset if you are the one she leans on.”

“So let me get this straight. You’re giving me permission to

hang out with my ex- girlfriend.”

Her eyebrow rose. “Just hang out. You know, if you want to,

because I think she needs someone right now.”

God, I loved this girl.

“But no touching,” she continued.

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I grabbed her chin. I stared into her eyes so she had to see

me— had to know how I felt. “I don’t want to touch anyone but

you, Monroe. There is no one else for me.” I shrugged. “There

just isn’t.”

“Let’s go inside.”

I knew what she was asking. What she wanted. And it’s not

like I hadn’t thought about it every night for the past few weeks.

It’s not like I hadn’t dreamed of being with her. Of watching her breathe and move. Of knowing what it felt like to be inside her.

But…this wasn’t just any girl. “Are you sure, Monroe?”

Her lips slid across mine until her mouth was against my

ear. “Yes.”

• • •

“Where’s your bedroom?”

I grabbed Monroe’s hand and led her down the hall. My

room was at the back of the house, and I shoved the door open,

following Monroe inside.

“Is there a light?” she asked, her voice light like a whisper on

the wind.

I crossed to my bed and turned on the lamp. Its glow was

muted, which was nice, and I watched the shadows that danced

across her face.

She twirled a piece of hair between her fingers and I knew her

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well enough now to know that she was nervous. Hell, so was I.

I’d never had sex with someone who I was in love with, and it

mattered so much more on so many levels.

Sure, I thought I’d been in love with Rachel, but now I knew

different. Now I’d felt and touched real love. Real love was full of emotion— it wasn’t just about the physical stuff, getting laid or making out.

Emotion and love together? It changed things.

“I’ve never…” Her eyes slid away from mine. “I’ve never

done it before.”

I’d suspected Monroe was a virgin, and the enormity of what

she was giving me pressed into my chest and I ran my hands

through my hair, because in that moment, I didn’t know what

to do.

“I’m sorry. I should have told you.” She sounded anxious. Scared.

I took the two steps needed to reach her and slid my hands

into her hair, holding her so that there was nowhere for her to

look but at me.

“God, Monroe. Don’t apologize. Don’t apologize for being

you. For being the most incredible girl I’ve ever met.” She was

everything to me. “I love you.”

“Then kiss me,” she said softly, standing on her toes to

reach me.

I kissed her for the longest time. Holding her softness

against me as my head spun crazily and my heart tried like hell

to keep up.

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Things got heavy. They got wicked heavy.

We were on my bed. My T- shirt was on the floor.

Monroe felt so damn good, and when she rolled over on top

of me, I was nearly out of my mind. Her long hair was all over

the place, her pale skin smooth in the dim light. Her mouth was

swollen from my kisses, her cheeks flushed and rosy.

She was the hottest thing I’d ever seen, and when she slowly

reached behind her neck, I froze.

We were both breathing pretty hard by this point, and I

couldn’t look away as she undid her halter top and slowly peeled

it away.

Nothing but my ragged breaths filled the air.

She straddled me and moved her hips slightly and I groaned.

“Jesus, Monroe.”

I couldn’t take my eyes off her, and when she bent forward

to lie against me, to press her softness into me, I think I might have died a little.

My hands crept up her bare back and I held her there, fighting

for some kind of control.

I banged my head back into the pillow and swore under

my breath.

“Nate?” she whispered into my neck. “Don’t stop.”

I turned my head and grimaced, fighting for some kind of

control because things were moving fast and she felt way too

damn good in my arms.

“Nate? Don’t you want…me?”

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I inhaled a deep breath and reached for her, cupping her jaw

so that I could stare into her eyes. I didn’t say anything. My

mind was searching for the right words, so for a long time, I

held her. I held her until her breathing slowed, and eventually,

so did mine.

“Tell me it’s not just me who feels this connection,” I finally

said, needing to hear her say the words.

“No,” she whispered. “It’s not just you, Nate.”

“Have you felt like this before?”

She shook her head no but didn’t answer.

“This connection that we have, Monroe. It’s not like anything

I’ve ever felt before.” I had to try to make her understand. “And we have to work to keep it strong. Things are going to be tough

with you back in New York, but we can make it work.”

“Okay…”

“No, I need you to listen. There is no okay. There is no right

or wrong here. I don’t want to do anything to make you regret

me. To make you regret us.”

“I could never regret us. I want this, Nate. I want to know

what it feels like to belong to someone. To belong to you. In

every way possible.”

God, to hear her say those words.

I searched her face. I looked into her eyes until my own

blurred and I couldn’t see shit.

“Are you sure that you want to…”

But her mouth was on mine and there were no more words.

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There was only the taste of her lips, the feel of her tongue, and her body against mine. Hands seeking and legs entwined.

I held her as long as I could before I thought I was going to

explode, and when she finally moved onto her back and reached

for me, I was done for. I wanted her and I wanted to be her first.

As corny as it sounded, I wanted to be her only guy.

But most of all, I wanted to hold this feeling that we had

inside me forever. And there in the dark, with Monroe in my

arms, I tried to do just that.

• • •

my legs and a warm body cuddled against me, it was her eyes

I saw staring up at me. Her eyes and her pink cheeks and that

slow smile that got me in the chest every time.

“Hey,” I said roughly, kind of choked up as the memories of

the night before chased through my mind.

“Hey,” she replied softly.

I glanced toward my window. “Guess we’re in trouble, huh?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I texted my mother a couple of hours

ago and told her we got held up and, uh, were stuck at Brent’s

without a ride home.”

“Shit, really?”

“She was all about coming for me, but I told her that I’d be

home for breakfast, and for whatever reason, she let it go.”

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Monroe exhaled a shaky breath and her lower lip trembled.

“What if we don’t see each other again? What if you go back to

school and fall into your old life and forget all about me? What

if all of this slips by as if it never happened and I don’t get the chance to be with you again?”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

A tear slipped down her cheek. “How do you know?”

I leaned my forehead against hers. “Because I promise it won’t.”

A heartbeat passed between us.

“Nathan?”

“Huh?” I trailed kisses down her neck and it was hard for

me to think straight. Hard for me to even hear the words she

was saying.

“I love you.”

“I know.”

“Nathan?”

“Yeah, babe.” I was reaching for her mouth. Wanting one

more taste.

“Do you think we can do it one more time…you know, since

we’re in trouble already?”

After that, there was no more talking. After that, there was

just the two of us, struggling to stay inside the little cocoon

we’d created.

And for now, that was good enough.

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