Bound by Steel (18 page)

“Tell me why a sexy guy like you would want to hang around with that loser?”

She thinks I’m sexy? Well, hell. “Vince isn’t a bad guy once you get to know him. Hey, if it weren’t for him we wouldn’t be having this conversation, now would we?”

Once again, she laughs. It’s so sensual I can feel it. Everywhere. “Yes, I suppose it did. Putting up with his rancid breath was well worth it now that you’re here.”

I would never admit it to Kennedy, but she’s a lot like Vince. They have no filter. They say what’s on their mind. I tend to hold back for fear of hurting someone’s feelings. That’s how I was raised and I’m not ashamed of it. I was taught to be a gentleman. Now, if someone could read my mind, well, that would be a different story altogether.

I stop walking when she pulls me up against her chest. Just when she licks hers lips in anticipation, someone screams. “No! I’m not getting in the car with you, Ben. Stop it! You’re hurting me!”

Kennedy whips her head around so fast, her long hair stings my face. “Lyra!” When she sprints down the embankment in her heels, I know I have to follow. I’m a gentleman. Remember?

I’m ready to flip the fuck out when I see this big guy forcing a girl into the front seat of his car. She’s clawing at the windows and screaming Kennedy’s name over and over again. If I don’t hurry, he’ll be long gone. I run at full speed and grab the asshole by the collar before hauling him out of the car. Adrenaline is the only thing keeping me upright because this guy outweighs me by at least thirty pounds. And he’s ripped. I’m a dead man. Before he can react, I hit him in the jaw and he slumps to the ground. Quickly, I hit the unlock button on the driver’s side and race around the car. When I open the passenger door, a beautiful girl flings herself in my arms. “Oh, thank god. You just saved my life.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

June

Lyra

Now that Gage is gone, I feel like a piece of me is missing. After all, he was the only constant in my life. Maybe that’s my problem. I depended on him too much. I took him for granted. Believing he’d always be there for me when I needed him most. Could that be the reason I fell in love with Ryker so quickly? He was there for me when Gage wasn’t? Wow, I’m sure a therapist would have a field day with that one. Picking at my psyche like a hunk of cheese. One thing’s for sure, Gage has more confidence in me than I have in myself. I’m beginning to think he took the job just so I would learn to be strong and independent again. Like I was before the accident and Ryker. Knowing Gage, that’s exactly what he set out to do. Well, I won’t let him down then.

My new cataloguing job is about the only thing keeping me sane. I love working at Yale University’s library. I get to do something I love every day from nine to five. I’m surrounded by books, every bookaholic’s fantasy come true. And I was lucky enough to make a few new friends along the way. In fact, I’m having dinner tonight with Sophie at seven, so it ought to be fun. She reminds me a lot of Kennedy. No filter. It should prove to be a very interesting night.

That gives me plenty of time to shower and dress. I suppose I should let Cody out first. She jumps all over me if she doesn’t get to play with the gulls. So I give her a treat and she thanks me by putting her big wet paws on my shoulders and licking me to death. She’s such a big baby. God, I love her.

Of course, now that I want to let her out, she’s nowhere to be found. “Cody. Where’d you go?” As soon as I round the corner, she’s scratching and sniffing at the door. “You need to go out, don’t you girl?” I have to laugh the moment the doors open and she whizzes by me. Quickly I call out, “Cody, do not chase those birds!” When she runs in the opposite direction, I close the door and breathe a sigh of relief.

I chuckle when I turn around and see an overflowing heap of mail sitting on the kitchen table. That was one of Gage’s biggest pet peeves. He’s such a neat freak. I, on the other hand, have better things to do with my time. I’m almost tempted to take a pic and send it to him, but I don’t. Somehow, it feels too nostalgic and I’m not going there tonight. So I spend a few minutes going through it while waiting for Cody. I get so caught up in what I’m doing, I forget about the time. Shit! Now, I have to hurry if I’m going to meet Sophie at seven.

Twenty minutes later, I expected Cody to meet me by the door, anticipating her treats. But she’s not there. Great! Just because I’m running late, she’s lollygagging. “Cody! C’mon girl! I have to go.” I’ll admit, I start getting a little nervous when she’s a no-show. Usually, she comes when I first call her. “Cody! Where are you?” When there’s no sign of her the second time, I run a lap around the house. She’s sitting on the edge of the property just staring off into space. What the hell? I know she won’t go past the invisible fence, but didn’t she hear me calling her? Calmly, I kneel down beside her and start stroking her. The minute my hand touches her silky fur she begins to cry. “What’s the matter, girl?” She immediately gets up on all fours and tries to flee. Quickly, I grab her collar and hold her as tightly as I possibly can. “Cody! Come!” She whimpers when I won’t let her go, but she doesn’t fight me. I make sure to hold her close to my side as I guide her to the house. She could easily pull me anywhere she wants to go but she’s compliant. Once I get her safely inside, she begins scratching at the door. Clearly she wants to go back out. Why? I’ve never, ever, seen her behave like this before. It’s scaring me. I’m going to call Sophie and cancel our dinner. For whatever reason, my gut instinct’s telling me to stay home.

“Lyra, please don’t tell me you you’re canceling our dinner.”

“I’m sorry, Sophie. I am. Cody’s acting so weird that I don’t want to leave. She wouldn’t come inside when I called her and now she’s scratching to go back out. There’s something out there that she desperately wants.”

“Are you afraid to be alone? Because I can come over.”

“No, no. I really appreciate the thought, though. She must have seen an animal or something that spooked her. No worries. I’ll see you on Monday.”

Once I end the call, I reach inside the cabinet to get her treats. Maybe if I try distracting her, she’ll come away from the door. “Cody.” I shake the box for effect. “Come get your goodies.” I’m relieved when she reluctantly comes to take them from my hand. While she’s licking up every last crumb that fell on the floor, I make sure to lock the door and set the deadbolt. I’ve never been afraid to be alone in my house, but Cody’s antics have set me on edge.

When I turn around, she makes a big sigh before resting her head on her paws. Now that she’s quiet, I take the opportunity to sit down beside her. “What’s wrong, girl?” She creeps a little closer and gazes up at me with her sad golden eyes. Settling her head in my lap. Aww, she wants some loving. The second I bend down to give her kisses, my heart seizes in my chest. Why does she smell like Ryker’s cologne? Now my imagination is playing tricks on me. Although dogs do have a keen scent. Right? Could that be why she didn’t come to me when I first called her? She was with him? Oh, god. No! I have to stop thinking like that or I’ll drive myself insane. Ryker’s gone. He’s not lurking in the shadows trying to catch a glimpse of me. He made his choice abundantly clear when he wanted me to think he was dead.

Now that Cody’s finally calmed down, I decide to change into something more comfortable. As I get up from the couch, Cody follows. And I’m puzzled when I see her collar slip off of her neck and tumble to the floor. What the heck? I must’ve broken it when I was tugging on her to bring her inside. Crap! Now I’ll have to go out and buy her a new one. When I bend down to pick it up, my hand shakes. Something white is sticking out of the collar’s leather strap and I know for a fact it wasn’t there earlier.

My hands are shaking so badly that it takes me a minute to unravel the roll of paper. And when I do, my heart knocks wildly against my chest. I feel dizzy when I sit down at the table and smooth the note out in front of me. One quote stares back at me...

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” Aristotle

Ryker

I don’t know what possessed me to invade Lyra’s privacy like that. No! That’s a blatant lie. I do know. I found out Gage left for Toronto. That he chose his career instead of Lyra, and that infuriated me. So I had to see with my own two eyes that she’s fine. Nonetheless, it’s unacceptable. And it can never, happen again. Otherwise, I won’t be held accountable for what I do. I can still taste her on my tongue and feel her soft and yielding flesh beneath me. I want her so desperately. But I have to stay focused and remember why I did this to begin with. To keep her safe…

What I hadn’t anticipated was Cody being outside. I miss her like crazy. And it was great seeing her again but bittersweet when I had to leave her behind. I was so fortunate to have Cody back at the cabin. She literally saved me from my darkest hours. Without her, I would have given up. After all, we were each other’s only companions for years. I’m sure Cody would like to return to her master, but that can never happen. I take comfort in knowing she’s with Lyra. She’s exactly where she’s meant to be—keeping my precious safe. Dammit! I should have never left that note for her, but I couldn’t stop myself. I’m positive that she won’t remember the significance of it all. Still, I truly believe in my heart that our souls will always live as one.

Now I’m back where I belong. It’s not where I want to be by a long shot, but Sonia has been good to me. She’s kept my secrets safe and I know I can trust her with my life. Unfortunately, she’s still begging me to fuck her but after everything that’s happened, I can’t.

“You’re back sooner than I thought,” she whispers while caressing my shoulder. “You’re so tense, darling. Why don’t you let me make it better for you?”

Sonia just doesn’t understand. After being with Lyra, sex isn’t about the release any longer. It would feel wrong. Dirty. Almost like I’d be cheating on her. Which is so stupid, considering that she and Gage have been sexually active since they’ve been back together. Well, I assume they have. It’s not like I have cameras set up in their home. Hmm, now that’s a thought. Quickly, I push it down. Let it go, Ryker! For god’s sake, let her get on with her life like you wanted her to!

I take in a deep breath when Sonia’s hands unbutton my shirt and inch their way down my pecs. Quickly, I grab her wrist and stop her before she embarrasses herself. “What did I tell you, Sonia? I will not be having sex with you again. If you’re horny, go call one of your regulars.”

“We were so good together, darling. We were two bodies joined together in pure carnal need. It was sex, Ryker. Nothing more, nothing less. Admit it. You loved it when my wet mouth was deep-throating your thick cock. While I flicked your apa with my tongue.”

Forgive me. I’m a man. I can’t help it when my cock twitches at the mention of her plump lips wrapped around it. God, I need to get out of here before I grab her by the hair and ram my dick down her throat.

When I push out of the chair, her eyes immediately travel to my groin. A huge smile spreads across her face when she notices the bulge in my pants. “At least your cock still remembers the feel of my lips wrapped around it. Too bad the wrong head is making your decisions for you.”

“Of course I remember how good it was between us, Sonia. I’m only human. But I don’t think it would be wise to mix business with pleasure. I’m no longer one of your clients, I’m living here. Thanks to you, I might add. I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me but I can’t in all good conscious be with you like that again.”

I try to suppress a smile when she clicks her tongue in disappointment. “Such a shame. Considering you’re the only man who has ever gotten me off so many times in one night. Pity, really. You know how to please a woman, yet you’re going to use your hand for release. Ugh, I need to leave before I say something I’ll regret later.”

I grab her hand as she tries to hurry by. Her eyes are sad when they meet mine. “You could betray me in a heartbeat, Sonia. Yet, you haven’t after all these years. Why?”

She squeezes my hand briefly before replying. “I, too, know what it’s like to lose someone you love. Certainly, not in such a devastating way as you have. Regardless, a loss of any kind is painful and I know without a doubt that you’ve paid the ultimate price. You’ve suffered enough, Ryker. You have my word that even if you withhold sex from me, your secrets are safe.”

She surprises me when her ruby-red lips suddenly land on mine. They’re so soft and sensual, it’s intoxicating. And so fucking arousing that I need to stop. When I break off the kiss, her chest heaves. And the second her heated gaze locks on mine, she blushes.

“You’re a very beautiful woman, Sonia. Any man would be a fool not to want you. Present company included. But after finding... ”

Quickly, she presses her fingertips to my lips. “Shh, don’t ruin the moment, Ryker. I needed to taste you just this once. I promise it’ll never happen again.” When her thumb lingers to wipe away a trace of lipstick from my bottom lip, my cock thickens. Fuck! I want her. I want Sonia every which way to Sunday. But it’s wrong, so fucking wrong.

Something she told me so long ago suddenly flits across my mind.
“Men treat me like their dirty little
whore and then go home to their wives. But just once, I wish a true gentleman would come along. You know, someone who would at least have the decency to kiss the palm of my hand before insisting I jerk him off.”

I gently grab her hand, turn it over, and place a tender kiss to her palm. She gasps when my eyes land on hers. “You were never my whore, Sonia. You were my distraction. My salvation. In fact, you still are.”

Sonia nods solemnly when she realizes the weight of what I’ve just said. Then she captures the kiss by closing her hand and placing it against her racing heart. Her eyes suddenly fill with unshed tears before a whispered “thank you” escapes her parted lips. When I reach out to comfort her, she stifles a sob and races out the door.