Bound by Steel (13 page)

I bury my face in Ryker’s chest. I don’t want to let him go. “Promise me no matter what happens, you’ll move on, precious. I truly want you and Gage to be happy. Please don’t cry.” When his warm lips crash against mine, I take and take until I have nothing left to give.

“I want you to be happy, too,” I whisper against his lips.

“If you’re happy, I’m happy. Promise me, Lyra.”

“Promise... ” as soon as the word leaves my lips he turns and heads straight back to the cabin. Never looking back. I want to scream at him to stop but I know he won’t. So I finish what I started to say only moments ago. “I love you, Ryker Steel.” I just about fall to my knees when he stops and clutches onto the doorframe. His shoulders tremble as he tries so hard not to fall apart.

“Cole, I have my family but Ryker has no one,” I whisper.

“He’s stronger than you think, Lyra. He’ll be fine. Now we have to leave.” I wait until Ryker closes the door behind him before I slide into the back seat. Cole climbs in next to me while both of his men sit up front. I can’t take my eyes off of the cabin. I’m hoping to get one last glimpse of Ryker. My heart lodges in my throat as I watch it fade in the distance. Until we round the bend and it’s out of sight. “I never had a chance to say goodbye to Cody.” It was supposed to be a thought but for some reason I said it out loud.

“Now you mention it, I didn’t see her this morning. Did you?” A feeling of dread courses through me as soon as I realize I haven’t seen her since early morning.

“I haven’t seen her since he let her out today. Oh god, what if something happened to her? Cole, we have to go back and check. Ryker will flip out if something has happened to her—” A sudden burst of light and a deafening crash has the driver slamming on the brakes.

“What the fuck was that?” Goon number one asks.

“Fuck... Call 911 and get her the hell out of here. Now!” At once, Cole’s out the door and he’s running back the way we came. What the hell? And when his hand quickly reaches inside of his jacket to pull out his weapon, it becomes all too clear. He thinks something happened to Ryker. Without a second thought to my safety, I’m out the door and sprinting up the road.

“Get back here!” is the last thing I hear as I round the bend.

Even from this distance I can see the destruction that lies ahead. Debris is scattered about, and several trees look like matchsticks that have been shaken out of their box. A few small fires remain at their base and for the life of me I can’t seem to find the cabin. Why?

Because it no longer exists...

Awareness suddenly punches me in the gut and drops me to my knees. Quickly, I cover my eyes and pray it isn’t so.

He’s gone... Ryker’s gone... He’s gone...

One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. I count as I rock back and forth on my heels.

Please god, please. When I uncover my eyes let it all be a nightmare. And I’ll wake up with his arms wrapped around me as he soothes away my fear.

When I slowly lower my hands and see nothing’s changed, I scream.

And scream and scream and scream.

“Oh god, Lyra. Please stop. Please.” Cole’s doing his best to console me but I know he’s just as devastated as I am.

“Help me find him, Cole. HELP ME! Please... ”

“We need to get you out of here. Now! Look at me, please.” Cole’s hands immediately take hold of my face, forcing me to look at him. “I’m sorry, Lyra. He’s gone. Jonathan Day is dead. Shit! You can’t stay here. Go with Jeff and Bruce and I’ll meet you at the safe house as soon as I can.”

“No! He’s not dead! He can’t be!” I scream. Cole scoops me up as my fists pummel the solid wall of his chest.

“I’m sorry, Lyra. I’m so sorry... ” When his voice breaks, I fall apart in his arms.

Part Two

Chapter Seventeen

April

Lyra

My first real taste of freedom was spent inside of the safe house. Grieving for a man who saved my life in a thousand countless ways. Nothing could have prepared me for the anguish I feel now that he’s gone. I’m broken. My heart’s shattered into a million pieces and I don’t know if I’m strong enough to put them back together again. I’m not sure if I’d even want to.

I swear I hear Ryker whispering to me in the dark when I close my eyes at night.

Just breathe, precious...

While his fingertips gently glide over my sensitized flesh. His warm breath skims along my lips, goose bumps break out along my skin. I tremble at his touch. And when I reach out to him, he slowly fades away. Leaving me alone in his wake.

I’ve just written down the last entry in one of my journals. Once I’m home, I will tuck them all away in the deepest, darkest recesses of my closet. Making sure they’re hidden away from prying eyes. Since every single word I penned to paper was conceived during one of my darkest—or one of my most pleasurable—hours. With him.

I knew when the time came to reunite with my family it was going to be bittersweet. I don’t feel like I fit into my old life anymore. But the moment their pained expressions turned to joy at the sight of me, I surrendered. And I was swept away in a sea of tears as everyone’s arms enveloped me. Never letting go.

Ryker once told me that he found silence in solitude
.
I didn’t believe him back then, but I do now. At the time, I couldn’t fathom how he could go days, or weeks, without having a conversation. Or some kind of interaction with another human being. Mainly because I’ve always been the kind of girl who had to be in the thick of things to feel complete.

Not anymore.

Now I choose to be alone.

I crave it.

Especially after being interrogated by the DEA, the crime squad, and even the FBI for the past month. Oh, did I fail to mention the news crews and all the reporters camped out in front of my parents’ house? Yeah, good times.

Now that the dust has settled and the investigation is over, everyone expects me to move on. God, how I wish it were that easy. With each passing day it gets harder and harder, because I have no one to talk to. The world portrays ‘Jonathan Day’ as some kind of deviant sociopath, and I want to set them straight. But I can’t. In exchange for my freedom, I signed an NDA. Which clearly stated what I was able to divulge and what I cannot. Needless to say, Jonathan Day or Ryker Steel’s reputation was of little importance to them. So my hands are tied and it really sucks!

Today’s the first day since I’ve come home that’s turned out to be beautiful. Which only proves that winter has finally succumbed to spring. I would absolutely love to go for a walk, but I’m afraid there might be some reporters still lurking in the shadows. Ugh. I’m free, yet I’m confined in my own prison. Agoraphobia. It seems that I now have an underlying fear of the outside world.

Just when I’ve finally convinced myself to go out, the doorbell rings. Swiftly pulling me out of my thoughts. My heart picks up a notch as I take a peek out the window and see Cole standing there. I haven’t been in contact with him since he reunited me with my family. He’s preoccupied with someone on his phone as I open the door. “Cole?”

“Lyra, I’m sorry to barge in unannounced but I need your help. Can I come in?” My heart begins to speed up, until I hear a familiar sound.

In two seconds flat I’m sprinting out the front door. Running down the stairs and flinging the car door open. A friendly face with golden eyes stares back at me. The next thing I know, Cody’s licking me to death. “I’m happy to see you too, girl.” Once she’s had her fill of me, she starts to run back and forth. Up and down. Around and around. Searching. It’s heartbreaking when she finally realizes her master’s not here to greet her. My chest aches when she pitifully plops down at my feet. So I lie down beside her on the hard ground and stroke her silky fur. “I miss him too, Cody.” Tears blur my vision as she nuzzles into me.

Cole squats down to stroke her coat. “The cleanup crew called to let me know she was guarding the site. She wouldn’t allow anyone near the property. Luckily, when I showed up she came to me immediately. Otherwise, they would have called the dog warden to take her away. I don’t know what the hell to do for her anymore, Lyra. She barely eats or drinks. All she does is sit by the door and wait. I know who she’s waiting for and it’s tearing me up inside.”

I don’t hesitate when I say, “She can stay with me. It’s what he would have wanted.” I’m going to love her and take care of her because she’s all I have left of him.

“No, Lyra. Cody’s my responsibility. He was my best friend... ”

Poor Cole. He’s in denial just like I am. I stand up and brush the dirt off of my jeans. “I know he was. And I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through. But I really want to do this for Cody and for him. He saved my life, Cole. Let me do this, please.”

“I’ll make you a deal. If it gets to be too much and you change your mind, I’ll come pick her up. How’s that?”

I’m not going to change my mind. “I’ll tell you what. Gage is picking me up on Saturday to take me home. So if she hasn’t adapted by then, I’ll give you a call.”

Shit! Now he looks like he’s sorry he told me I could keep her. “You’re leaving this weekend?”

“There’s no reason for me to hang around here, now that the investigation is over. I need to get back to work and get on with my life. Why? Is that going to be a problem?”

“No. Not at all. It’s just—”

“Cole, is there something you’re not telling me?” My stomach’s all tied up in knots as I watch him struggling. For words? I don’t know, but I suddenly turn cold when his eyes meet mine.

“Fuck! I signed an NDA just like you, Lyra.” He’s starting to scare me when his hands land on my shoulders. Weighing me down. Holding me up. I don’t know anymore! Cole’s eyes look crazed as they lock on mine. “He’s not officially dead, Lyra. They never found his body... ”

Gage

Since I had already missed so much time from work during Lyra’s disappearance, I wasn’t able to stay in New York for more than a few days. God, I hated leaving her behind. Although I knew her parents were by her side every step of the way, I wanted it to be me. I haven’t seen her in almost a month. Even though we talk on the phone almost every day, it’s not the same. She’s not the same. Thanks to him. Fuck me! If Jonathan Day wasn’t already dead, I would have killed him myself.

When I’m about twenty minutes away from her house, I feel like throwing up. I’m nervous as fuck. This is it. There’s no turning back. We’re moving forward. God, I want this more than I need air to breathe, but I’m worried. I don’t want her to come home to appease me. I want her to come home because she wants to be there. With me. Forever. Just like we planned all those years ago.

The minute I pull into the driveway and see her running out the front door, I immediately relax. Until a huge dog places itself between me and her. Blocking me. “Babe, when did your parents get a dog?”

“Cody. Sit.” I watch in utter fascination as the dog listens to her commands. Who would have thought? When she snakes her arms around my waist and peers up at me with a mischievous grin, I know I’m in trouble. “Surprise! Meet the newest member of the Harper family. Cody, this is Gage. Gage, this is Cody. She’s coming home with us.”

What?

“You’re joking, right?” I want to take it back the moment I see her smile dip into a frown. “You’re not joking. Oh-kay, Great! Where did he come from?”

I know I’m not going to like what I hear when she worries her bottom lip. “Cody’s a girl, not a boy. And she belonged to Jonathan Day. Please don’t be angry, Gage. She was my one saving grace while I was there and she has no place to go.”

I see red. Immediately. I don’t want a fucking thing that belonged to
him
anywhere near her. Ever! But sadly, I know once her mind’s made up, she’s not going to change it. So I’m going to have to learn to pick my battles according to precedence. Obviously, I’m not going to win this one. So I have to let it go. “Welcome to the family, Cody. I hope to God I don’t have to sleep with one eye open.” When my girl’s soft lips suddenly land on mine, I know it’s her way of thanking me. God, I’ve been waiting patiently for four agonizing months for this. Lyra wasn’t ready for a ‘physical relationship’ the last time I was here. She needed time. God only knows what the fuck that asshole did to her. “Mm, I knew that’s how you would taste,” I whisper, nuzzling her neck. Instantly, her body stiffens against mine.

“We better get going. We have a long drive ahead of us,” she states, before walking away.

“I thought we were leaving in the morning, Lyra.” When she whirls around to face me, I’m astonished. Her wall is clicking back into place with each passing second.

What did I do? Dammit!

“I want to walk barefoot in the sand. I want to sleep in my own bed. I want to have lunch with my friends. I just want to feel normal again, Gage... ” My heart breaks when she covers her face with her hands and begins sobbing. She can barely catch her breath when I sweep her off her feet and cradle her in my arms.

“I want that for you too, babe. More than you’ll ever know. C’mon then, let’s go home.”

By the time we’ve pulled into our driveway, it’s well past midnight. Lyra finally fell asleep in the car about an hour ago. I hate to wake her up, but I need to get her inside. When I open up the back door, Cody just ignores me. Fine. I don’t have the time nor the energy to bother with her right now.

I make sure to grab our bags out of the trunk first and then hurry up the front walk to unlock the door. Quickly, I drop them on the floor, flip on the lights, and head back outside to get my girl. I slip my arm underneath her knees and around her back. My first thought as I cradle her in my arms is: she’s home. With me—where she belongs.

After closing both car doors with my foot—since Cody decided to join us—I carry Lyra straightaway into our bedroom. I gently lay her down on the bed and then... I’m not quite sure what to do next. Do I let her sleep in her clothes? Or do I attempt to put on her pajamas? She makes the decision for me when she rolls onto her side and curls up into a little ball. Lyra must be cold, so I grab the spare blanket out of the closet and cover her up. Then I carefully sit down on the edge of the bed, and spend some quality time just drinking her in. I spent four excruciating months wondering if she were dead or alive. Now that she’s here, I’m never letting her out of my sight. Ever. Wherever she goes, I will be right by her side.