Bound by Steel (10 page)

When I think back on last night, Lyra could have easily closed the shower curtain and left me to my own fate. And I wouldn’t have blamed her a bit after everything I’ve put her through. But she chose to stay. Not a word passed between the both of us as she washed me, fed me, and took care of me. Afterwards, I found solace in her embrace. She appeases me in ways that no one else has ever dared. After last night, I’m convinced that she is the soothing balm for my dispirited soul. I am and always will be, forever hers.

My precious… I am irrevocably in love with Lyra Rose Harper.

I nonchalantly brush a strand of hair away from her parted lips and continue to watch her sleep. She’s flawless from the inside out. Cole assumes I’m thrilled at the prospect of my rebirth. God, if he only knew it pains me to think of Lyra and I being separated shortly. But, I made her a promise I intend to keep. Honor, courage, and commitment are words I live by.
Semper Fidelis
. Always Faithful. So, as soon as Cole gives me the green light, I will send her home to her loving family.

Trepidation surrounds me when Lyra stretches and then rolls onto her side to face me. A hint of a smile plays across her lips. “Why are you frowning, Ryker?”

God, if she only knew. Fuck!
I
still can’t wrap my head around the shit that Cole told me yesterday.  Taking ahold of her hand, I lift it to my mouth and place a tender kiss in her palm. “I spent the night mulling over everything that just happened. And for the first time in my life, I willingly gave up control and put it in your capable hands. That’s huge for me, precious. I’ve never, ever, done that with anyone before. So thank you for knowing what I needed and selflessly giving it to me.” I’m caught off guard when she straddles my hips, forcing me to lie flat on my back. She weighs a feather, but I wasn’t expecting this turn of events.

“Let me make love to you, Ryker. Just like this. Please.” This woman is turning me inside out, but I mustn’t show it.

Sitting up, I yank her shirt over her head. When she tries to free her arms, I tug on it until her arms are trapped behind her. “Ryker, I…” She moans the moment my mouth latches onto her pebbled nipple and I flick my tongue over the sensitive peak. My hand trails a path to where the two of us connect and our scorching excitement is almost enough to scald me. I glide my thumb along the seam of her slick folds. Coating her with her own desire before slipping my thumb deep inside of her. My cock jerks in anticipation as she rides my thumb with unrestraint. “I need you… please.”

“You’re not quite there yet, precious.”

“Yes, oh god… fuck!” Her pussy pulsates around my thumb as though it were milking my dick. I want to bury myself inside of her and never come out, while gazing into those sad eyes. But I can’t. Because if I do, I’ll never let her go.

The minute she’s free from my hold, she tosses her shirt to the floor. So, I grab her arms and gently massage each one until her circulation returns. Then I lean back on my elbows and just commit her to memory.

“Hey, it’s your turn.” I try not to smile when her pinkie finger skims over the length of me. And when her small hands free me from the confines of my boxers, I growl.

“Turn around, Lyra. Since you’re so bent on riding me, you can do it backwards.” As soon as she lifts one leg to turn around I lift my hips and pull down my boxers. Her sweet ass is too perfect to pass up, so I smack it just once for good measure.

She cries out as she squeezes me in her hand.

“Now, precious, guide me inside of your sweet pussy. Let’s see how much of me you can take.” When she buries me slowly inside of the most private part of her, I whimper. I’m a grown man and that’s the first fucking time that sound has ever come out of me. She places her hands firmly on my thighs and eases herself down … down … down. Until our bodies are so intimately connected, we will never be two separate beings again. “Fuck, Lyra. I’m so damn deep.” My hands land on her hips as she grinds herself against me. Seeking release. Precious needs some one-on-one attention and I’m just the man for the job.

I wrap one arm around her waist and swing my legs over the side of the bed. Now her legs are positioned over mine, with her feet barely touching the floor. Her head lolls against my chest when I seize her hips and begin to thrust inside of her. She snakes one arm around my neck and strokes her swollen clit with the other. And then she explodes into a never-ending climax, taking me along with her.

Lyra

I wanted to follow him into the shower so we could pick up where we left off, but he’s preoccupied. I know he must have a lot to process after his meeting with Cole yesterday, but I was hoping he’d open up to me. That sounds stupid, believe me, I know. Especially since he’s made it perfectly clear that we are only fuck buddies. But no matter how hard I try to deny it, Ryker means so much more to me.

I’m about ready to doze off, when I hear Cody barking. My heartbeat quickens as I jump out of bed and throw on a shirt. Cody’s prancing by the doorway, looking up at me. I breathe a sigh of relief as I head downstairs. “Do you need to go out, girl?” She growls and follows up with a whine. As soon as the door opens, she’s gone. It’s funny how she waits until Ryker tells her to ‘go’, but with me she doesn’t.

Well, I suppose now that I’m down here I might as well start breakfast. There’s no sense in jumping back in bed now that I’m wide awake. I make myself a cup of coffee but I put off making Ryker’s until he’s out of the shower.

I’m concentrating on the eggs sizzling in the frying pan when a warm hand slithers around my neck and a thumb caresses the tender flesh below my left ear. When it comes to rest upon my pulse point, I’m certain Ryker can feel my accelerated heartbeat. This small but intimate gesture causes a fluttering sensation at the bottom of my belly. And when his hand slowly falls away I question whether it was really there to begin with.

I watch him out of the corner of my eye as he grabs a mug and brews himself a cup. He looks so sexy with his long-sleeved black Henley pushed up at the elbows. And his faded jeans that ride low on his hips. Everything Ryker wears fits him like a glove. Which shows off his muscular frame. But I can’t help wondering how he would look without the beard and all that hair. I guess it really doesn’t matter, because Ryker’s the kind of man who looks sexy with or without. And I can attest firsthand to how good he looks in his clothes or out of them. I try suppressing a smile by nibbling on my bottom lip.

He startles me when his warm breath skims along my heated cheeks. “What do you find so amusing, precious?” When his eyes lock on mine, I’m breathless. And when his thumb sweeps across my bottom lip, forcing me to let it go, I tremble. Ryker has to know how addicted I’ve become to his touch, and he’s using it against me. His eyes are as black as coal as they roam over every inch of me. I expect him to bend me over the table and have his way with me, any minute now. And then Cody puts a damper on things when she howls to be let in. Now that I can breathe, I quickly plate our breakfasts and sit down to eat.

I’ve just finished my breakfast by the time Ryker joins me. When I start to leave he quickly grabs my wrist. “Stay, precious. We need to talk.” His intense gaze causes my heart to skip a beat. I know something’s wrong when he pushes his plate away and combs his fingers through his hair. “This might take a while, so let’s go into the living room.” When he comes around the table to thread his fingers through mine, I’m dazed.

Once we’ve sat down on the sofa, he leans forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. “The reason I couldn’t let you go home after I rescued you was because I no longer exist. If you were to Google me, it would have told you that Ryker Steel has been missing for over three years. Two weeks after I buried my wife, Bella, I moved to this cabin with a new identity.” He steals a quick glance in my direction before continuing. “In town I’m known as Jonathan Day. I made a grave mistake by telling you my real name, and that’s one of the reasons I couldn’t let you go. It’s my fault you’ve been here for so long and for that I’m sorry.”

I’ve been here for almost three months because he told me his real name? Are you fucking kidding me? “Ryker, if you had just been honest with me from the beginning, I would have never told anyone! I would have kept your secret until the day I died.”

“You don’t understand, Lyra.  I thought I was responsible for Bella’s death, that someone held a vendetta against me. An eye for an eye. So, for over three years I’ve lived in darkness. Blaming myself. Yesterday, Cole told me everything. More than I cared to know.”

Tell him what? I don’t understand.

He lurches forward when I reach out to touch him. “I don’t want your sympathy or your pity, Lyra. I can’t change the past but I sure as hell can change the future. I just wanted you to know as soon as Cole wraps up a few things you’ll be going home.” He stands up, thrusting his hands in his pockets and walks off. And I’m right behind him.

It suddenly hits me like a ton of bricks. “Is that why you saved me? Because I look like Bella and now you feel vindicated? A life for a life. Am I right, Ryker …?” he spins around so fast I bump right into him. And when his hands grip my upper arms I know there’ll be bruises tomorrow.

“Let. It. Go. If you were smart, and I know you are, you’ll walk away.” He spins on his heels and heads towards his office.

He is one-hundred percent right. I am smart and scared, but I need answers. “Talk to me, please. I don’t understand what you meant by…”

“Enough!” he screams, as his fists connect with the office door. Over and over again until they’re a bloody mess.

“Stop, Ryker! Please!” Immediately, I wrap my arms around his waist and press my face into the curve of his back. It doesn’t take long before the thin fabric of his shirt absorbs all of my remorseful tears. Every heartbeat and every breath he pulls into his lungs is a struggle for control. I’ve never seen him this angry. Ever. And I’ve never been so terrified in all my life, but I can’t walk away. Not now. Not when he’s in so much pain. With a shuddering breath, he surrenders. And his hands finally fall limply to his sides.

Chapter Fourteen

Ryker

I’m so fucking angry! But not at Lyra. I’m pissed at myself for caring. For giving a shit about what she thinks of me. Why should it matter? Damned if I know. Until I look down and see her arms wrapped around me and feel her tears branding my skin. And now I have my answer.

She... Makes... Me....
Feel.

Something I haven’t been able to do for quite some time now. In a matter of months, this woman has melted away my fortitude and the wall of ice I’ve twisted around my heart—the one that compelled me to be a cold, heartless bastard. I just pray she doesn’t leave me drowning in the aftermath. Because I could never live through that kind of pain. Ever again.

I spin her around and pull her in close to me. “Hush, precious. I’m fine.”

“I-I’m s-sorry. I shouldn’t have asked…” she whispers. She’s quiet for a moment and then quickly pulls away. “Let me see your hands.” They hurt like a motherfucker, but I only have myself to blame. When I place them in hers, she gasps. “I need to clean them, Ryker. Come into the bathroom.”

When Cody starts barking, I change direction so I can let her in. “I’ll get it. Meet me in the bathroom,” she commands.

There’s no point in arguing with her so I do what I’m told. And that’s a first for me. Usually, I’m the one in control. So I make a mental note to keep track, because this is so unlike me.

I’m standing in front of the sink, waiting, when she returns. “It’ll be easier if you sit down, Ryker.” With one hand on my chest she pushes me out of her way. I take the hint and sit down on the edge of the toilet as she grabs everything she needs. “This might hurt,” she whispers, and then begins washing the blood off of my hands. I concentrate on her and only her as she cleanses my knuckles with peroxide. It’s painful since they’re swollen and raw, but physical pain I can withstand. It’s the mental and emotional hurt that brings me to my knees. And after everything Cole revealed to me yesterday, how fucked up would it be for Lyra to be the one to forgive
me.

My hands are throbbing by the time she finishes wrapping them up with gauze. They look ridiculous. Like something out of a horror flick. I’m preoccupied when Lyra tries to step away. Quickly, I fold her in my arms and rest my head against her chest. I can feel the thrumming beat of her heart as she cautiously rests her hands on my shoulders. She’s afraid of me. And that cuts me deeper than any knife ever could. So now I owe Lyra an explanation for my outburst.

“I used to drop Bella off at the studio when I went to work every morning. She was a ballerina for the New York City Ballet. At the time I worked undercover for a security firm. I was hired as Carlos Rodriguez’s bodyguard. Since he was a notorious drug dealer, it was my job to earn his trust so I could report my findings to my boss, Hawk. Who just so happened to be Bella’s father.” When she gasps I sneak a glance at her. She nods, so I continue. “When I dropped her off that morning she reminded me about the note in Cody’s collar…”

“Cody belonged to the both of you?” Lyra asks. I immediately know what she’s thinking. Cody’s attached to her because she looks like Bella.

“When we decided not to have any children of our own, we adopted Cody. We picked her up on the seventeenth of August from a shelter for abused animals. So on the seventeenth of every month thereafter, she would leave me a note in Cody’s collar. I’m sure it all sounds silly to you, but it’s just something that stuck.”

“It’s not silly, Ryker. It’s thoughtful.”

“Yeah. Well, anyway. When I dropped her off she reminded me about an interview she had after work. She told me not to wait for her. She’d call a cab and meet me at home. A few hours later, there was a knock on my door. When I opened it and saw two police officers standing there, I just knew. Bella was dead. She was killed by a hit and run driver.” There. Now she knows one of the reasons I went ballistic.

At once, I release her hold and stride into the kitchen. After grabbing a bottle of Wild Turkey I head into my office and close the door behind me. I know that’s a lot for someone to handle and I probably shouldn’t have left her alone, but I don’t want her pity. So I’ll just sit in here, have a few drinks and then I’ll be ready to face the music…