Bound by Love's Gravity (9 page)

Talk about the understatement of a lifetime.
Deke wrecked every chance of happiness he’d ever had. She’d seen his constant self-destruction with her own eyes.
Well, except his love for Adam.
Really, it was surprising that Deke hadn’t undermined and demolished their relationship before now. That was just his way.

“You’re right,” Adam said unexpectedly.

“Huh?” Sarah asked, confused. Had she spoken her thoughts aloud?
Obviously.
Anxious, she returned her eyes to Adam’s gorgeous face, but he wasn’t looking at her. He was staring off in space with the saddest eyes she’d ever seen.

“It’s a miracle Deke hasn’t demolished our relationship,” he remarked morosely. “God knows he’s tried.”

Oh crap
. She’d hurt Adam’s feelings. “I–I’m sorry,” she stammered. “I–I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Casting his blue eyes her way, Adam cupped her face with his hand. He stroked her bottom lip with the tip of his finger. “Sweet pea, it’s the truth. He loves me. But he doesn’t want to, and that hurts sometimes.”

Sarah couldn’t help but asking. “Then why do you stay?”

“Why do you?” he shot right back.

“Because I love him.”

Adam smiled. However, his expression was anything but happy. “I do too. And Deke’s a hard man to love.”

Isn’t that the truth?
“Do you ever regret loving him?”

Adam’s eyes grew round. “Of course not. Do you?”

Without hesitating, Sarah shook her head. “No. I just wish…”

“What?” he asked, frowning. “What do you wish?”

“I wish he loved me enough…to stop running, I mean.”

“Give him time.”

“I am. I have.” She sighed. “Adam, I’ve given him years. Years I can’t get back. And I’m terrified that I’ll keep giving him time, and he’ll never stop running.”

Adam’s frown deepened. “He will,” he said, but his words lacked conviction. And his eyes did, too.

“Maybe, maybe not,” she muttered. “I just know that I want to love and be loved. I want to get married and have tons of babies.” She paused and took a deep, soothing breath before saying the one other thing she wanted in her life. “I want to take a Dom.”

“I know you do,” he whispered as he caressed the side of her face. “I’ve been waiting for you to say those words.”

She’d suspected that he’d been waiting patiently for her to embrace her submissive side once again. But he’d never said a word. He’d never pressed her for more. And she’d been grateful for that.

“I want you to be my Dom,” she managed to mumble. “I want Deke to be my Dom, too. You’re the only two men I trust with my heart and soul.”

Adam bent over and brushed her forehead with a gentle kiss. “I’m honored. You know that.”

“If things change between the three of us, would you ever consider making me your sub? Do you think Deke would?” As soon as the words slipped from her lips, Sarah stole a breath and held it. When Adam said nothing, the air rushed from her lungs in short, shallow pants. Her blood started thundering through her, and she felt a blush creeping into her cheeks. “I–I’ll take that as a no,” she stammered.

Adam groaned. “Oh God, sweet pea, I’m not saying
no
. I just can’t say
yes
. I have to talk to Deke.”

Oh
. “Well, I–I, um, was speaking hypothetically, of course.”

Adam smiled at her, his love shining in his eyes like a bright star in the night sky. “You don’t have to hide from me. I know what you want. I’ve always known. And you know what I want. But Deke…he’s…”

“Not ready.”

Adam nodded. “Let me talk to him. Maybe I can change his mind.”

Sarah smiled. Only she didn’t feel it. She was simply putting on a façade for Adam. She knew that things weren’t going to change, not overnight. Deke was going to say
no
. Unless something drastic happened, she was going to be waiting. The question was, just how long?

At The Edge, Deke sat in his office staring at the dove-white ceiling with his cell phone attached to his ear. To most people, he probably looked like the picture of ease as he leaned back in his executive chair with his feet propped on top of his desk. He’d shed his suit jacket and loosened his tie long ago. At some point, his sleeves had been rolled up and the top button of his dress shirt had been unbuttoned. But he had no clue when he’d done it.

The past two hours were sketchy, hazier than he wanted to admit. His slight impairment could’ve been due to the decanter of exceedingly rare Rémy Martin cognac lying on his desk, staring back at him. Or it could’ve been because he was consumed with thoughts of Sarah, her face firmly fixed in his mind, her words replaying in his head over and over again until he felt like screaming.

You’re wrong, Deke. You are what I want. I know that. And deep down, you know it too, just like you know that love is like gravity. You can’t see it, but you can feel it. In the end, you can’t fight the undeniable pull, no matter what you do. We’re bound by it, and one of these days, you won’t be able to walk away from me, Adam, or our love.

What if she was right and he was wrong? It wouldn’t surprise him. When it came to Sarah, he was usually wrong in every way that counted. Or at least, he always felt that way—unsure and out of his depth. Not to mention confused and frustrated.

God, she has me going around like a damn dog chasing his fucking tail.
Deke had to stop tormenting himself or he was going to go insane. Although, at the moment, he had to admit that insanity held a wealth of appeal. Then he wouldn’t be sitting around worrying about Sarah. He wouldn’t be thinking of her or how she’d felt in his arms. And he wouldn’t be imagining her between his and Adam’s bodies as they explored her from head to toe.

They’d touch her satiny skin, inhale her intoxicating scent, taste every flawless inch of her flesh, and listen to her husky cries. Then they’d fuck her. One of them thrusting into her tiny pussy as the other took her ass. They’d push her up, propelling her toward the heavens, until she reached the orgasmic bliss she deserved.

Deke held back his groan and dropped his feet to the floor with a distinct
thunk.
He shifted in his leather seat, hoping to ease the lust pounding through his hard cock. When that didn’t work, he rubbed his face with his available hand and cursed viciously under his breath.

“Earth to Deke,” Sam Carrington yelled into the phone. “Are you in there? Or does E.T. need to phone home?”

“I’m here, Sam,” Deke muttered.

“Sure you are,” he retorted. The annoyance was evident in his tone. “Shit, I have to go. The Slave Driver is coming.” Predictably, the other man didn’t hang up or stop talking. “Damn Deke, I needed to get away from all the emotional garbage in my life and you stuck me with Rafe? Are you insane? He’s all drama, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.” He growled. “God, I would love to just wrap my fingers around his neck and throttle him. But Brooklyn would get pissed, and I try to stay on her good side. I’m not stupid or masochistic so…” He trailed off then the line went dead.

Deke rolled his eyes then locked his phone and tossed it on top of his desk. The heavy
thump
that followed annoyed him, but he didn’t dwell on it as he stood up and stretched.

God, he was tired. First, he’d had the disastrous meeting with Sarah that he couldn’t get out of his mind. Then as he’d grabbed his jacket on his way out of her apartment, Adam had said he would rather stay with her than return to the club with him. He’d claimed he would have one of the other guys pick him up. But as of ten minutes ago, neither Hale nor Wyatt had heard from Adam. And when he’d called Kylia, she hadn’t picked up the phone. Basically, Deke had no clue what the fuck was going on, and he had no way to find out. He just had to wait it out.

Prowling across the room, Deke did the only thing he could. He paced. When that didn’t help in the slightest, he stalked around his desk to the floor-to-ceiling bookshelf and grabbed his collection of Robert Frost’s poems. Thumbing through the pages, he found “The Road Not Taken,”
but before he could read through his favorite poem, someone knocked on the door.

“It’s open,” Deke called out through gritted teeth. Irritated, he shoved the book back into its spot on the shelf then spun around. He held his breath in anticipation, expecting Adam to charge through the door and start bitching at him. But Adam didn’t walk in. His older brother, Declan, did.

The two siblings looked eerily alike. All of the Stantons did. Declan was tall and built like a masterpiece of the gods, just as Adam was. His hair was the same gorgeous shade of chestnut as his brother’s, and he had a smile that could stop anyone in their tracks. And damn, his blue eyes were as clear and pure as Adam’s. But he didn’t do a thing for Deke.

Deke figured it had to do with the siblings’ personalities. Where Adam was charming and suave, Declan was aloof and brusque. He was a straight shooter with no patience for bullshit. And games only served to piss him off.

“Trouble in paradise?” Declan asked sharply, the cold question capturing Deke’s attention instantly.

Deke shrugged noncommittally. “No more than usual.”

“Bullshit,” Declan growled. “Adam just called. He wants me to pick him up at Sarah’s. We both know that he only asks for my help when he’s pissed at you. So what did you do this time?”

Declan’s assumption grated Deke’s nerves. “What makes you think I did something?”

Declan barked a harsh laugh as he crossed the threshold to Deke’s office then shut the door behind him. The soft
click
of the latch sounded like a gun going off in the thick silence that followed Declan’s burst of cynical humor. But the stillness didn’t last long before Declan answered Deke. “Because I know my brother, and I know you, my friend. You did something stupid, and you’re being too stubborn to fix it.”

Deke hated it when his friends were so close to the mark, especially Declan. He was a pain in the neck normally. But when he was right, he was unbearable. “Kiss my ass,” Deke sneered.

“That’s my brother’s job, not mine,” Declan said before taking a seat on Deke’s leather sofa. “And thank God for that.”

Deke rolled his eyes. “No shit.”

“So are you going to tell me or are you going to make me drag it out of you?”

Shaking his head, Deke snapped, “Leave it alone.”

“No,” Declan countered. “We’ve been friends too long for this. I know the signs, and I know how you think.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes, really,” Declan replied, throwing his arm over the back of the couch and appearing to get comfortable. “You’re pushing Adam and Sarah away. Hell, you’re doing the same shit to all of our friends. But I’m not them, and I won’t let you.”

Deke pinned Declan with a frigid glare. “I’m really scared.”

Extending his legs out in front of him, Declan crossed one foot over the other. “I don’t give a fuck whether you’re scared or not,” he declared with a shrug. “Be scared. Hate me. Whatever. But you’re not going to hurt yourself or my brother.”

Deke flipped Declan the bird. “Fuck off.”

Declan arched a dark eyebrow. “Do you really think that will work on me?”

No, Deke didn’t. He was no fool. His friend was a persistent bastard. If he wanted something, there was no stopping him, which meant Deke was up shit creek without a paddle
or
a boat.

“Fine,” Deke snapped. “You want to stick your nose where it doesn’t belong? Why don’t you talk to your brother?”

“Is that the best you’ve got?” Declan chuckled. “I can talk to Adam whenever I want, but he’s not the one with the problem. You are.”

Tired of standing by his bookshelf like a moron, Deke stalked back to his desk and lowered himself into his chair. Feigning disinterest, he shuffled through the stack of papers in front of him and pretended to organize his desk. But of course, Declan wasn’t affected a bit by Deke’s cold shoulder. He simply continued to stare, his eyes piercing through Deke with every minute that ticked by.

Giving up, Deke sighed. “Fine. I’m fucked, and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Well, that’s a start.”

“You think that’s a start?” Deke asked incredulously as he thrust aside the stack of papers he’d just arranged a second ago. Several of the sheets went flying, but he didn’t make a move to pick them up. “You’ve been hanging around Dr. Katz just a little too long.”

Declan didn’t respond to Deke’s reference to his on-again, off-again girlfriend Kylia. Instead, he said snarkily, “I’ve always heard that admitting your problem is the first step.”

“Well, I admitted it all right. Now I feel like an idiot.”

“Why?” Declan chuckled. “Can’t you stand the thought of me seeing that the Ice Man has a heart?”

Deke growled. “I have a heart.”

“I know you do. You just like to hide it.”

Deke didn’t like to hide his heart. It just happened naturally for him. And he was rather grateful for small favors. Life was much easier, and less painful, when he didn’t have to care. “It doesn’t matter,” he muttered. “I just want to—” What? What did he want to do?