Bound Angel Bound Demon (27 page)

BOOK 2 BOUND DEMON

To die, to sleep—

No more—and by a sleep to say we end

The heartache and the thousand natural shocks

That flesh is heir to—’tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wished!
To die, to sleep.

To sleep, perchance to dream—ay, there’s the rub,

For in that sleep of death what dreams may come

When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,

Hamlet, William Shakespeare

Chapter One

Alex’s Diary

I miss him, I long for his touch, the sternness of his voice, the firmness of his girth. I need him. Since he has allowed me to stay on this earth with him, our time together is so limited, and I crave it. I keep him happy in the ways our lives allow
. He is my life, my love, my master, my husband. I love him...

Every morning it gets harder and harder to tear myself away from the warmth of his skin. I need him...

Like a drug, my lips ache for the next moment they will touch him. My master is all that I need. He fills my soul and infuses my heart with his love. I have given him all that is me. My eyes search for the next opportunity to become one with him, for him to fill me, complete me.

Since the time when we finally were free of Harry, I have not been allowed back to the club, the room. My master’s room is now repaired. Not sure how they kept that
episode from all the other clients, but nothing was mentioned in the papers or on the news. You would have thought someone would have questioned what happened that night, I mean the room and the hall landing was a complete wreck. Ray and Melissa and the others who were there that night have been sworn not to mention anything about me to anyone, or what happened that night. They are either very loyal or were paid a lot of money to keep quiet.

Gary told me it was best to stay away, so now I’m stuck at home awaiting his return
every single day, you would have thought it would have thrown him back to square one – not wanting to set foot in that club again – but he has had his room revamped, the fresh start has given him a new found love for the place all over again. He tells me about it and sometimes we act it out when he comes home. But it's not the same as having him around me all the time. I miss his control, his orders, his command, and his love. Now we are back to living two different lives again just like before I died and it is even harder than before. I suppose in a way it was better when I thought he was a PA in a big company rather than a master to other submissive people. I am jealous that he uses his master’s control with others, he is my master and I do not want to share him.

I have become bored with this prison and need to get out of this house. I’m not allowed to go out
in case anyone recognizes me. This is the depressing part of being dead and it sucks. I have searched for new houses in different areas but not too far from Gary’s Black Cat Club, and found nothing. I just want somewhere I can be free to be with him and walk among the living. Get back to living his lifestyle and become his submissive under his control at all times, I miss his teachings and perhaps the punishments that went with them. I don’t have him here to show me how to behave in the correct manner that he requires. It is funny, I used to be able to live every day, not worrying about upsetting my husband, but now I’m lost without his control. It is like I have forgotten how to think for myself, and now I have to take back some of that control and I’m finding it hard. How could I, in such a short time become so dependent upon him, and lose my own self confidence along the way?

I have taken up another job to pass the time, only again it is working within these walls. I have started a job in advertising. Advertising the Black Cat Club, bringing in new, high class customers, everyone has been so happy with the new blood that
has been coming to the club. My new advert was a hit, but I cannot go out to promote to the club in person, everything is done online or over the phone. No physical contact with any other human being is allowed, only work from within these four walls and under no circumstances do I use my real name. Another way of deleting my existence from the world. Another way of being controlled by my master. Another way of being pushed away from my husband.

Now and again, I do go against my husband’s wishes and slip out to see Marie. My best and closest friend, but she has become closed off as late and always locked away in her room, reading and mixing potions. It’s as though she is searching for something or someone, I wish she would share what is wrong with her so I can help her in any way I can,
I owe her so much. If it wasn’t for Marie I wouldn’t be here still with the man I love and adore with all my heart. I will wait for as long as it takes for her to confide in me, as time is all I have.

It is nearly six in the evening Gary should be home soon, I can’t wait.

I have made dinner, set the table for a romantic evening meal, followed by a relaxing bath together then on to well – you get the picture. I will carry out what my master needs to make him happy. I sometimes miss how we used to be when we first met, holidays away, romantic times. Not extreme sex and domination. I know we can never be the same as then, so much has happened since. I’m fully aware of his world, and he is happy now it is out in the open, I can’t force him to forget that part of him for me.

I’m willing to do anything so he knows how much I love him, and to show that sex with me is better than what he can get in the club. Don’t get me wrong I’m not jealous about that, I think it is more I’m jealous I can’t be part of that life anymore. I felt proud that he wanted to share me, show me off to others, but now I’m back to the house, just the wife, of no importance in his work life. I think part of me wishes I had died and not come back. I wish I could just disappear
. I’m so confused of late and not really sure what I want. It’s like there is still something out there, like my life is not complete somehow, I’m still searching for that one special thing in my life.

I don’t want him to give up that life for me either, I would feel guilty if did that, and I know he would begin to hate me. But I just want to have more freedom, I hate being stuck in this house, I have too much time to think.

I want him to be proud of me again, to show me off and share me as any master would.

I have to face it. I’m dead and he’s alive we can no longer live how we used to. We must go back to being a plain husband and wife. I just don’t think I can do that anymore. He has trained me in such a way that I can’t recall that life anymore and how to live it. God help me, I must break out of this mood I’m in, or risk pushing Gary away.

Chapter Two

Gary pulled
up, after an exhausting few hours at work, he wasn’t complaining, he loved his job, what man wouldn’t love this job, the master of women, who did everything he told them to do.

Gary smiled
at the thought, then he felt guilty. He was happy with his life, having the best of both worlds again. But then the guilt nagged at him again, mostly for bringing his wife into his world and now denying her the freedom to come to the club. She had got a taste for it and now had to switch that side off and go back to being just his wife. Ray and Melissa were right, they couldn’t afford to have Alex exposed, the club would be dragged in and turned into some kind of freak show. Too much had happened over the last few months. If there was a way for her to go to the club and not be recognized it would solve a lot of problems for Alex, but Gary was glad in a way she couldn’t and felt bad for feeling this way. Now he had his other life back for himself so he could be free to be with others and not worry about upsetting Alex or making her jealous, plus he didn’t have to share his wife with others. Above all, he never felt comfortable about her having sex with others at the club, especially men. The hate would rise in his throat at the thought of them touching her; Alex was his and no one else’s.

The lights weren’t on, but Alex never put lights on in the front of the house, Gary didn’t want questions asked. He was still her master as well as her husband; she would always do as
he asked without question. He knew he had turned Alex into his prisoner, a prisoner in their own home. Someone to do his bidding, and he knew this was cruel; there wasn’t much of what Alex used to be left, because of his controlling nature. He wished he could stop and wipe the slate clean to start all over again, but he loved the control he had over her too much. Tonight he was going to sort that out, so Alex was free to enjoy her new existence, and it might stop him feeling so guilty and maybe help him to relax his control of her.

Gary could smell food
as he went in, he went to the back of the house into the kitchen. Alex had prepared a lovely meal and had set the table. It was very romantic, which made him feel all the more determined to solve one of the problems, and to make Alex happier.

Alex turned around and smiled. She
went over and put the food on the table and sat down. She shimmered in the candlelight, her skin was almost sparkling. Gary sat down and looked at his beautiful wife, remembering how proud he used to feel about her. He had loved her so much in high school, but was frightened to ask her out. He had admired her courage and self-confidence. He remembered their wedding day and night.

Now he looked at her and she was a shadow of who she used to be, and he was the cause.

“How was your day?” asked Alex.

Gary looked up from his food
, “You don’t really want to know how my day went.”

“
Well I need something to help spice up this dull day,” said Alex with a smile.

Gary thought to himself how unselfish she was. Was this because he made her this way or was this really Alex, so much
had happened he couldn’t remember which.

“
Well I have something to tell you but after dinner. This is lovely by the way!” Gary began to eat the spicy Thai chicken curry she had prepared.

“
You can’t just say something like that and then leave me hanging,” remarked Alex, she was pushing her food around the plate.

Since her death she d
oesn’t really eat; she just does it so she can feel normal, thought Gary. She wants to show she hasn’t changed, but she looks weak and thin, perhaps this was part of what being dead was about. Gary smiled at her so she wouldn’t notice that he was examining her unhealthy appearance.

“
Alright, here take a look at this,” said Gary as he passed her an envelope.

“
What’s this?” Alex asked.

“
It’s a contract!” said Gary smiling.

“
A contract for what?”

“
A contract for our new home!” answered Gary.

“New home! R
eally where is it?” Alex nearly jumped across the table with excitement

“
Well, it’s far away from here so you can walk among the living and not be questioned,” said Gary.

Alex couldn’t stop smiling
.

“
It’s in Wales, it’s this lovely old house, chocolate box picture, postcard all that,” continued Gary.

“
But what about the club?” asked Alex, “You're not going to go backwards and forwards all the time between the two, I’ll never see you?”

“
At the moment, I will have to, but we’re looking into opening a new club in the area so I can move there permanently, I thought this was what you wanted!” Gary looked crestfallen, it was as though he’d upset her, he’d thought this was what she wanted, or was this more what he wanted?

“
I do want to move, but I don’t want to stay there on my own,” said Alex, “I’m sorry, I’m being selfish, you’re right this is what I need,” Alex backed down as always, she hated upsetting Gary.

“
Alex, I know it’s hard, but the sooner you’re moved in, the sooner you can begin to live again, once I get the planning permission on the building I want, I will move up to oversee the work and stay with you to run the new club.”

“
So you have already sorted all this out, without asking me,” shouted Alex, her anger rising.

“
I just wanted to do what was best for you; I thought this would please you,” Gary answered.

Alex could feel the fury take over
, “You should ask me, stop treating me like I’m not here, let me have some say in the way I want to live my life,” she shouted, the lights in the kitchen began to flicker, the candles blew out. The table began to shake.

“
Alex what are you doing, stop!” cried Gary.

Alex looked at Gary. She could see how scared he
was; she began to notice what was happening. Alex calmed back down.

Obey your master, your husband
, he is doing this for you, for both of us, thought Alex and everything began to go back to normal. Gary was now standing looking at Alex, shock written all over his face. What had just happened?

“
I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s come over me,” she looked at Gary, she didn’t move towards him she waited for Gary to make the first move.

“
I think it’s best for both of us to call it a night and we will talk about this in the morning,” Gary turned and left the room, Alex didn’t even try to follow, she had gone too far, it scared her to see what she was capable of. Was this part of her life now, losing her temper and causing an earthquake, what if it happened again and she hurt Gary? There was still so much she didn’t understand about being dead.

Alex
heard Gary moving around upstairs, he was getting ready to go to bed, Alex stayed downstairs. She waited for him to go to sleep; she needed to get out of the house to clear her head. Make sense of these things that were happening to her. No one would be around at this late hour, well no one who would recognise her anyway. She would take the risk, also she had a big ugly coat with a hood that hid her face, she had to have some space.