Blurred Lies (The Blurred Series Book 1) (19 page)

“Like what you see?” he asks, reminiscent of that night with the Chinese food all over the floor.

Do I like what I see? Is he kidding?

“Your abs look even harder than the ones in the movies. I kind of want to lick them,” I say with unabashed awe.

“You can, later. That’s not the only thing that’s hard, darlin’,” he says in complete seriousness.

I feel my cheeks warming up, perhaps because I know I’m the reason for his...current condition.

When he removes his jeans, a small frisson runs through me, but I know it’s just first-time nerves and not anxiety, so I push the feelings back down and take a deep, calming breath.

Perhaps noticing my reaction, Ryan doesn’t remove his black boxer-briefs, which are barely containing him at this point.

Whoa.

“If I take these off now, it’ll be over way too quickly.”

Damn, he caught me staring.

“Move up the bed and get comfortable, baby,” he says quietly and I comply; moving to the top of the bed and placing my head on the soft pillow that smells of Ryan, the scent calming my rattled nerves.

He climbs on the bed then, moving on top of me and bracing his weight on one forearm. I notice he’s still wearing the cuff and the watch, but think nothing of it.

He brushes my cheek with gentle fingertips and looks into my eyes. I think he might be looking straight into my soul.

“I’ve waited so long for you,” he says, and I feel the same way. I don’t really understand what that means, but have no time to ponder it.

Pulling one strap of the dress down my bare arm, he begins to place soft kisses on my shoulder, and it’s so soothing.

“I think it’s time to lose the dress,” he murmurs.

Sitting up, I slowly pull down the zipper at the side, and his eyes seem to be transfixed on the action. He swallows, then licks his lips, pure want filling his green gaze. It gives me the confidence I need to continue.

When I’m done with the zip and have pulled the skirt to my waist, he takes over, grasping the fabric roughly and lifting the garment over my head, throwing it to the floor.

“Fuck,” he mutters under his breath. Then, glancing lower, he smiles. “You’re wearing my favorite panties. How’d you know?”

What?
“What? You’ve never seen these panties,” I say in confusion.

“Sure I have. The day you got the job at Calli’s. I don’t think you realized the view you were giving me on the couch that day. I didn’t want to say anything at the time, because I’m a gentleman.”

I scoff at that. Gentleman?
Yeah, right.

I can feel the blood rushing to my cheeks as he stares at me, appraisingly.

“Lie back for me,” he requests and the frisson creeps back to the surface.

He’ll take care of you. He won’t hurt you.

My calming thoughts bring my nerves back under control and I comply with his request, albeit on shaky arms as I lower myself down.

“I’ve wanted to do this since the day you moved in and changed everything,” he says before placing his lips over one sensitive peak, and I feel it harden under his touch.

He continues his appreciative ministrations to one breast, then the other, murmuring his approval every so often. It’s driving me crazy. It feels amazing, but it’s not where I need his attention to be focused right now.

“Ryan, please,” I beg.

“Please, what, baby?” he asks as he gently nips at my sensitive flesh.

I can’t say it out loud!

Well, apparently I have to.

“Please… Make love to me.”

“I was beginning to think you’d never ask.”

Are you sure you want this?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me if you want me to stop.”

“I won’t want you to stop.”

“I think this is going to hurt, but I’m going to make it good for you. I promise.”

“I know you will. That’s why I’m sure.”

With his weight on his elbows and hands softly cupping my face, he kisses me and simultaneously thrusts slowly forward with his hips, just barely entering me.

I gasp and he stills, but I kiss him back, silently willing him to continue. He advances a little further, and I feel the slight sting of my body accommodating him, causing me to close my eyes tightly.

He pulls out a little and on the next thrust, goes a little deeper, causing me to wince. Ryan isn’t lacking in the size department, and my body isn’t being particularly compliant, as far as I can tell.

“God, baby, you’re so tight,” he says with a pained voice.

“I’m sorry,” I say, not knowing how else to respond.

Stupid body.

“You so do not need to apologize for that. You feel incredible. But I need you to relax, or it’s going to hurt more than it needs to,” he explains, breathily.

Oh. Okay.

Trying to do as he asks, I take a deep breath and he kisses me again, but doesn’t move.

I feel the familiar coolness of his lip-ring and it makes me shiver with delight. I move my hips, silently asking him to keep going.

He pulls out a little, and when he moves forward this time, I feel a sharp pain, causing me to gasp and whimper at the same time. Ryan kisses my forehead, tenderly; a silent apology.

“That’s the worst part, baby. It’ll feel better now. I promise.”

He stays still for a long moment, allowing my body to adjust, and the pain subsides a little, leaving a feeling of utter fullness. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.

“I need to move now, baby. Open your eyes for me,” he says, kissing my cheek.

“Okay. I’m okay,” I say, quietly, looking into the deep pools that are his jade eyes.

And then he begins to move, in and out, in a perfect, slow rhythm. His arms shaking with the need to let go.

I feel the now familiar sensation building, so I kiss him deeply, encouraging him to continue.

“You feel amazing, Natalie. You’re so fucking perfect,” he whispers in my ear as he continues his unhurried pace. “You like feeling me inside you, don’t you, baby?”

“Ah, Ryan, I...I’m,” I stammer, breathily; his words taking me higher.

There are noises coming from me that I don’t even recognize, and I don’t care.

“Come for me, baby. Let me feel you,” he demands as he picks up the tempo, followed by a bruising kiss.

I’ve never come as hard as I do while Ryan moves within me. The aftershocks are as intense as any prior orgasm of my life, and I can’t focus when I open my eyes. I don’t even remember closing them.

“That’s it, baby. Fuck,” he groans in my ear.

And then he follows me over the edge, and it’s the best feeling I’ve ever experienced in my entire life.

I love knowing that I can have that effect on him. I love the way Ryan makes me feel.

I love Ryan
.

* * *

When he comes back from the bathroom, he climbs back on the bed and lies on his side next to me, supporting his head on one hand and placing the other on my stomach, caressing the bare skin there.

He gives me a contented smile that makes my own that much brighter, and butterflies flutter in my belly as I appreciate the moment with him.

Realizing how naked we both are, a feeling of embarrassment swells inside me, quickly followed by the realization that I can do what I’ve wanted to do for the past two months, quashing my shyness.

Pushing his shoulder so that he moves to his back, I assume his previous position with my head resting in one hand and the other tracing the ink covering his arm.

“I love your tattoos,” I confess.

“I noticed. Which one’s your favorite?” he asks with a hint of cockiness.

“This one,” I say as I brush my fingers over the ink on his hip. “But I’ve wanted to know what this writing says for a long time. It’s not English,” I explain, bringing my hand back to the intricate tattoos on his arm.

“No, it’s Latin,” he clarifies.

“Will you tell me what this one says?” I ask, trailing a finger over the script on his upper-bicep, which is surrounded by colorful artwork.

“No saint.”

“And this one?” I trace the one further down his arm.

“No sinner.”

“Why did you get them? What do they mean?” I ask curiously, looking into his eyes, which are focused somewhere else.

“There’s no such thing as saints or sinners. Only something that’s a combination of the two. Some people are more one than the other, but no one is all of one and none of the other,” he explains with a melancholy tone.

“That’s an interesting theory. You might be right, but I think you’re more saint than sinner,” I say with a small smile as I trace a line down to his forearm where the remaining text that eludes me is written.

“I’m almost all sinner, Natalie,” he utters, barely loud enough for me to hear, whilst staring at the ceiling.

That makes me frown.

“That’s not true.” My tone is serious, saying all I need to say, so I don’t clarify my statement any further, I just trace the text of the last tattoo I want to ask about. “And what does this one say?”

“Would you mind if I told you about that one another day?” he asks, looking back to me with apology in his expression.

I can’t say I’m happy about the fact that he doesn’t want to open up about it. Whatever
it
is. I just gave him my virginity and realized I love him, after all, so it stings a little. But I also know he’ll tell me when he’s ready, so I can’t be too upset with him about it.

I just hope he’s ready sooner rather than later. I don’t want any secrets between us. Secrets are like slow-acting poison to any relationship; silently seeping into every aspect until it dies entirely.

“Okay,” I say as I lay back on the pillow and close my eyes, trying to rein in my emotions.

“Hey,” he moves over me, brushing a thumb across my cheek and kissing my forehead. “I will tell you. It’s just… I’d just like to tell you another time. All I want to do right now is enjoy what we have, in the little time we have alone together.”

Well, I guess I can’t argue with that.

I open my eyes and he’s looking down at me, pleadingly. So I smile, reassuringly, and say “okay” again, and then he begins to kiss me, making me forget about any secrets that might exist between us.

Secrets, shmeecrets.

* * *

I must have fallen asleep at some point, because when I wake up, it’s completely dark, apart from the glow coming from Ryan’s computer screen, which he’s currently sitting in front of.

I stare at his naked back for a while, admiring him whilst he thinks I’m not looking. He’s tapping away quietly on the keyboard, and I wonder what he could be writing at this hour. Whatever hour this is.

“What time is it?” I ask through a yawn.

He flinches in surprise. “Hey, you’re awake. It’s late...or early, depending on how you look at it. I didn’t mean to wake you.” He shuts down the computer and climbs back on the bed, on top of the covers. “How are you feeling?” he asks as he caresses my cheek.

“Good,” I reply with a sleepy smile.

“Sore?”

“Not that much. Hungry,” I say, realizing I haven’t eaten for hours.

“I’ll go get us a snack. You stay right here,” he says before kissing me sweetly, and jogging out of the room in nothing but boxer-briefs.

Yum.

When he returns a few minutes later, I realize Ryan’s version of a snack is more like a three-course meal.

“Okay, I didn’t know what you’d be in the mood for so we’ve got some chorizo, cheese and crackers, turkey sandwiches, chips and cookies.”

“Thank you. I’m starving,” I say before snatching half a sandwich from the tray he placed in the middle of the bed. “Did Nate come home?” I ask around a mouthful of turkey and mayo.

“Nope. Calli came through for us. She texted a while ago to say he’d be out all night, though I suspect he probably texted you. The tone of your text is probably a little different to the one I received,” he says with a smirk.

“Why, what did he send you?”

“A picture of a shotgun,” he says with a laugh.

I laugh at that, too. Nate is probably the least violent person I know. Still, it may be best if he doesn’t catch me in here in the morning.

“Maybe I should go sleep in my room after we’ve eaten,” I suggest with concern.

“Hell no. I want you at least two more times before morning. Maybe three. Who knows when we’ll have the place to ourselves again?”

“Three?!” I ask in shock. He remembers I’m a beginner, right?

“Okay, just two then,” he concedes.

“You might break my lady parts at this rate,” I say with a giggle.

“We can’t have that. They’re such perfect lady parts, after all,” he practically growls with his low, sexy-as-sin voice as he crawls back over me like a predator.

It’s another two times before I’m even allowed to finish my sandwich.