Blue Persuasion (16 page)

His intense stare mystified me and yet, I could not look away, trapped in the strength of the moment. As he took me over the edge, every bit of me opened up, and he flew into my heart and soul before we both exploded out together in a confounding climax. Wave after wave of release, he continued to permeate my soul until I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Please go,” I said, still breathing heavy and trying to catch my breath. Tears hovered at the surface, and I refused to cry in front of him.

“What? Why?” he asked, lifting me in a tight embrace, his cock still inside me.

“You can’t make love to me like that and not give me your heart while you’re busy stealing mine.”

“Shhh,” he whispered, kissing my temple and gazing down at me. Pulling out of me, he spooned me against him, placing his warm palm on my chest between my breasts. “It’s going to be okay.”

Only I knew it wasn’t as my tears silently spilled down my cheeks.

“Blue, it’s okay,” he whispered. “It was intense for me too.”

I turned to face him, tears staining my cheeks. “Please go. I need to get some sleep before tomorrow.”

“I don’t want to leave you like this.”

“Then tell me something about you.”

“I can’t.” He moved to get up, the anchor of his past pulling us both down.

“Or won’t,” I said as he picked up his clothes and left the room.

I finally heard the front door shut, and I let the deep grief spill out. I would never be more than a body to anyone. Doomed to spend my life as someone’s plaything or holding place. I damned my body again as I often had.

Why did stupid men like Stuart think that it’s appealing to be offered causal sex? Why did stupid women like me keep accepting less than we deserve?

I wailed out my pain, all the bad memories weaving my noose of misery. When I came up for air, I thought of calling Bond, but I didn’t dare bother the sanctified trio. Instead, I cried myself to sleep.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I’ve Told You Now

by Sam Smith

I
n the morning, I found a note from Tate. It simply read:

I’m sorry, Blue.

“Yeah, well, so am I.” I crumbled up the note and threw it in the trash. “I’m sorry you’re damaged goods.” I also mentally threw away all the little tidbits I had saved from what he had said. That boy needed to keep his cock and his hands to himself.
He probably won’t show up at Red’s anyway.

I trudged through my shift at The Chart House, sorting through every moment with Tate, beating myself up over it all.

Back at the apartment, I showered and stood in front of my closet, trying to decide what to wear. I hadn’t bought anything new in a while and decided I needed to visit Lainie’s Bella Boutique soon to rectify that.

I wanted to look hot just in case Tate showed, mostly to torment him. Shifting a bunch of hangers to the right, I looked at the skimpier summer dresses I owned. Most were too dressy for the occasion. I finally decided on the sleeveless, white, chiffon dress, with a swirly, black decal covering the front. It had a short hem that became longer in the back. It didn’t show cleavage, but it was flirty nonetheless. Coupled with sandals, it read causal.

After lining my eyes and gathering my belongings, I arrived at Red’s early. As I had hoped, only Bond was in residence.

When I walked into the living room, Bond whistled. “Very nice.” He swooped me in his arms and kissed me hard.

I rested my head against his chest and sighed. “I almost called you late last night.”

He tilted my head up. “Is everything okay? You should have called.”

“I didn’t want to bother you.”

“Don’t, Blue. You can always call. Sit,” he ordered, pointing to the couch facing the back of the house. “What happened?”

I didn’t speak right away and searched my mind for the right words.

“Just say it.”

“It was too good and I made him leave and then I cried. I know I’m being stupid, but I can’t help it.”

“Is he coming tonight?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I invited him before all of that and told him to come late. He wasn’t thrilled with that part.”

“I bet. Why did you tell him to come late?”

“So I could chat with the girls, which is what I said.”

“He didn’t believe you.”

I shook my head.

“I wouldn’t have, either. He thinks you want him here late so you can spend time with me.”

I nodded.

“This should be interesting.”

“If he comes.”

“Oh, he’ll come. No doubt about it. Do you have anything on under that dress?” His hand reached along my thigh.

“No.” I laughed, swatting his hand away.

“You ladies are all the same. Love to torture us men.”

I chuckled again. “There might be some truth to that.”

Bond pulled me close and kissed me, his hand sneaking back under my skirt.

I reveled in the opportunity not to think about Tate. That is until we heard the front door open.

“Fuck,” he sighed out.

I quickly fixed my dress and moved to the opposite end of the couch.

“Hey guys,” Jacqs said as she rounded the corner and she and Red deposited bags on the counter.

I stood up and we hugged. Then I moved over to Red so Jacqs and Bond could have some time alone.

“Looking good,” Red said, giving me a big bear hug.

“Thanks.” I followed him into the kitchen and watched him unpack the groceries.

“Should I take this to mean Tate will be stopping by?”

“I guess we shall see.”

“Trouble in paradise already?”

“If by paradise you meant rocky terrain along a cliff, then I’ll answer in the affirmative.”

Red gave a deep belly laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Jacqs asked as she entered the kitchen and helped Red put the food away.

“Blue’s metaphorical spin on words. You should be a writer.”

I stuck my tongue out at him. “Speaking of which, Tate gave me feedback on my first chapter, and I’ve been reworking my novel. I plan to share some soon.”

“That’s exciting. I’m between books and could use something new to read. Honey, do you mind if I take Blue out back and leave the food to you?” Jacqs asked Red.

“Go, enjoy.”

She rose up on tiptoes and kissed Red’s cheek. Grabbing my hand, she led me outside to the swinging loveseat. “So tell me all of it,” she said as she took her place next to me.

“I think we should wait for the others so I don’t have to repeat myself.” I pulled the bottom of my dress down and crossed my legs.

“Okay, but just tell me, is his cock really thicker than Red’s and longer than Bond’s?”

I broke out in hysterical laughter. “Yes.”

“I wonder if it would fit in me.”

“I’m not sharing this one,” I shot out, the laughter gone completely.

“I’m sorry, Blue, I didn’t mean I ... that was a stupid thing for me to say.”

I took a deep breath, trying to quell the simmering jealousy. “No, it’s okay. I get the fascination.”

“Is he nice?”

“He’s ... hmmm, I don’t think I would call him nice. He’s distant but attentive, a rather odd mix of things that...”

“That?”

“Hey!” Cat called out, Lainie by her side. They grabbed two wrought iron chairs and placed them facing us.

“Is Sam here yet?” Jacqs asked.

“She should be here any minute,” Lainie said as she sat down. “She left Bella’s early so she could get here on time. We all want the lowdown. Is he coming tonight?”

“Wait for me!” Sam waved and carried over another chair.

“Drinks, ladies?” Bond asked, hanging his head out the French doors.

“Water for me,” Sam said.

“I’ll take whatever non-beer drink you have,” I said. “Thanks.”

“Same,” Lainie said.

“Me too,” Jacqs said.

“Beer for me,” Cat said. “So spill it.”

“I just asked her if Tate was nice and she said, ‘not really,’” Jacqs relayed, sitting back and bringing her legs up on the couch.

“That could be good if you mean during sex,” Lainie said with a wink.

I chuckled.

“So tell us. First, is he coming by tonight?” Sam asked.

I paused and smiled at Bond as he handed us our drinks. Jacqs touched his thigh and whispered her thanks. He smiled down at her and then winked at me.

Once he was out of earshot, I filled the girls in on everything.

“Based on his age, I’d guess he’s been through a horrible divorce,” Sam said. “Did he really say it had been over three years since he’s had sex? Lucky you!”

“I think you should go for it,” Cat said.

“And be damned my heart?”

“I’m with Cat,” Lainie said.

“I think you should be careful,” Sam said. “Your therapist is smart. You have to keep up your own walls or Tate—”

“Or Tate will what,” he interrupted, staring straight at me. He took us all by surprise.

Over Tate’s shoulder, I glared at Bond who mouthed, “I’m sorry.” I stood up and went to Tate. “Let’s go for a walk.” I took his hand and led him to the far edge of the dock. “I wasn’t sure you were coming.”

He glowered at me, his jaw clinching.

I gently touched his cheek and saw the surprise in his eyes, yet the frown on his face remained unchanged.

Then he surprised me by holding both of my arms behind my back and yanking me tightly against him. He ravished my mouth with a grunt, sparking an intense need in me.

Feeling the wetness on my labia, I wished I had chosen to wear panties.
Two pairs.

“I want to take you away from here,” he said, staring down at me.

“If you need to leave, then go. I’m staying. This is my favorite day of the week because I get to see my friends. I didn’t get a chance to check in with them. They were too interested in you.”

“What did you say?” he asked, absently playing with the ends of my hair.

“You don’t want to know. Why don’t you have a drink with the guys?”

“Will you come home with me tonight?” His fingers trailed up to my neck and massaged.

“Why?”

“Because I want you in my bed. Spend the night with me.” His eyes pleaded with me.

“Do you know what it feels like to walk down the plank, knowing you’re heading to your own demise?”

“Blue...”

“Do you? That’s what this feels like, my final steps to the gallows.”

“I’m very familiar with it.”

I scanned his face, believing him. “And if I ask you to leave me alone?”

“I can’t.”

“Because you have a lot of sex to make up for?”

He tilted his head. His eyes looked so sad.

“Okay. Just grant me time with my friends.”

The girls still huddled around the couch swing, probably chatting about Tate and me. I sat back down and lifted my drink. “So, what’s the verdict?”

“He’s ridiculously hot,” Cat said, smiling.

Sam nodded frantically in agreement.

“Stay and I want to invite you both over Friday night. He’ll cook,” Lainie said.

“I don’t know how much longer I can take it.”

“Which part? The big cock?” Cat asked.

They all laughed and I shook my head. Looking up, I saw Tate watching me. I flashed him a thumbs up. Bond had an odd expression on his face.

Bringing my attention back to the girls, I said, “His cock I can stand for just about forever. However, the rest of it? He’s like a man handing out candy, leading me along to a very dangerous place.”

“Heartbreak,” Sam said. “I’m an expert.”

“Sometimes you just have to take the leap of faith,” Lainie said.

Jacqs nodded her head in agreement.

“Let’s just hope I don’t land on the jagged edges below. Enough about me, please! What’s new with all of you?”

Lainie said, “I’ve been spending more time with Stay’s grandmother and I just love her. I wish I could set her up with my father. My mother told me the other day, when she picked up the phone while I was chatting with my dad, that she would be very surprised if Stay goes through with the wedding. My father actually yelled at her and told her to get off the fucking phone. That was a first. Edith and I have been checking out wedding dresses and florists. It’s been so fun. It’s like having a real mom.”

“I’m so happy for you, Lainie. For Stay, too,” I said and meant it.

A huge laugh erupted amongst the guys. Tate had a genuine smile on his face. I wished he would smile like that with me.

“We’re all happy for you, Lainie,” Sam said. “I was thinking about moving into Lainie’s old condo, but my mother insists she doesn’t want me or Sarah to leave, and it would mean a lot more driving back and forth to drop Sarah off. She’s convinced me, so I’m staying put. Also, Sarah started preschool two days a week and loves it.”

“Any men on the horizon?” Cat asked. She raised an eyebrow. “Or women?”

“I’m not ready yet. Between working, Sarah, and school, my life is happy and full. Soon though.”

“I’ve got nothing new to share,” Jacqs said, standing up. “I want to go check on the boys.”

“Me either. Other than a trip Kev and I are planning to Connecticut to see his family. We are thinking of going for Thanksgiving.”

“That’s great,” I said, watching Jacqs approach the men standing by the door. Stay caught my eye and tilted his head toward the house.

“Anyone else want another drink?” I asked, rising to my feet and straightening the bottom of my dress.

“All good,” Sam said. Cat concurred.

“Yeah, when you come back out,” Lainie said. “Thanks.” She handed me her empty hard apple cider bottle.

I scooted past the group by the door and avoided catching Tate’s eye. In the kitchen, I found Stay waiting for me. “So, should I run fast in the other direction?”

Stayman was the most intuitive of the group, and I trusted his opinion completely. “That’s hard to answer at this point. There’s a hole the size of the Grand Canyon inside his chest. On the one hand, he keeps himself separate, but his need is tremendous. He does have a great sense of humor, though.”

“Really? I’ve not seen that side of him at all. He’s so serious most of the time.”

“That’s self-protection, Blue. I’m sure it’s hard for him to keep it up around you.”

I burst out laughing. “Quite the contrary.”

Stay looked confused until he played it back in his mind. He laughed with me. “That was funny. You know what I meant.” He winked.

“Yeah, but do you like him? Do you think there’s any chance he’ll fit in here? Should I even bother?”

“He and Bond don’t get on, but that’s to be expected.”