“You’ll get used to it.”
I knew what he meant. “Doubtful,” I said. Just a few minutes before I felt so connected to him and now, we were back to the fortress of steel.
He brushed the hair away from the side of my face and looped it behind my ear. “Just give it time.”
Time, I knew for sure, was not on my side. I listened to the waves of the ocean cresting on the shore, trying to let it settle me.
He took a bite of the dessert and then fed me another. “How was that for you?”
Shaking off my disappointment, I said, “Good.”
“Just good?” In a quick maneuver, he moved the table from between us and dragged my chair next to his. He took my left leg and draped it over his.
“Very good?” I said with a shrug.
“Are you going to punish me?” he asked as he ran the tip of his finger up my inner thigh. That one finger had more power over me than my entire self-respect. My lips parted and a moan escaped.
“If you really want to know what it was like for me, share something and I’ll do the same.”
“That’s not the deal.” His forehead creased, but he continued to touch me, moving under the hem of my robe.
My body’s constant betrayal flabbergasted me as it blushed in need. Trying not to give in to the power of his hands, I said, “I guess you’ll have to ask me ... next time you have ... ahhh ... me tied down.”
He sighed. “I sometimes eat with friends, other times I call in takeout.”
“Was that so hard? Will I meet your friends?”
“No. Now answer my question.” His fingers had migrated to the juncture between my leg and my radiant core.
I stroked the hair on his forearm and then looked up. “Better than I imagined it could be.”
“Better than with Bond?” His fingers crawled across my mound and played in my ever-growing wetness.
“Ohhh ... I’m not sure how to answer that.”
“Truthfully.” He forced two fingers past my labia.
“I can’t think,” I groaned. I held his forearm as he drove into me, his thumb shimmying over my clit. “My orgasms ... best, so good.”
“But?”
“And ... so exciting. New. Unexpected, but...”
“But?”
“So close. Oh, Tate ... yes ... so fast ... fierce ... so, so good.”
He stopped moving and said, “Not yet.”
I pouted.
“And Bond?”
“He knows me better than anyone, even better than Cat.”
He resumed his manipulations and brought me right up to the edge again. “I want to know you.”
“No.” I closed my eyes and rode the tide of my arousal.
“Yes.” He inserted a third finger.
“Ohhh ... don’t stop,” I cried. But he did stop. I pulled away, covered myself, and propped my feet up on the railing. “Not until you’re willing to risk yourself. You can’t possibly expect me to lay myself out for you to pick over and then discard once you’ve had your fill.”
“I’m not a vulture.”
“What are you, Tate? You can’t expect more from me than you’re willing to give.”
He looked away toward the ocean, and I did the same.
Part of me screamed,
Go get dressed and leave
. My pussy, however, wanted her satisfaction. It throbbed, waiting for relief. I took matters into my own hands, literally. Before Tate could stop me, I opened his robe and firmly grasped his still-hard cock. My two small hands did not cover the length of him, so I took the head and the remaining shaft in my mouth. The first order of business was to get him to let go of his need for condoms. Tasting the remnants of latex on his skin instead of my own juices reminded me too much of being with Bond. I popped my head up and said, “I’ll trade sharing a bit of myself if you give up the condoms.”
“That’s a very bad idea,” he said, pushing my head back down. “That feels amazing.”
I worked my saliva down with my hands and reveled in the feel of him. “Your cock would taste and smell so much better. Like you, instead of a condom.”
“I’ll think about it.”
My mind leapt and prematurely high-fived itself.
Progress!
Reaching for me, he pulled me onto his lap. “So you want to try anal sex. I’ll share a secret, so do I.” He kissed my temple and absently played with my nipple.
“You haven’t before?” I squirmed in his lap from his touch.
“No.” He shifted me to his right leg and wrapped his arm around my waist, his left hand touching me again.
“Hmmm. That’s not at all surprising, given your size.”
His fingers slid inside. “Let’s just say I’ve never met a woman like you before.”
“Oh, Tate, that feels so good, but can we drop the bullshit and just play?”
“Excuse me?”
“I doubt you just bought that whip and who knows what else resides in that drawer of yours.”
“I didn’t just buy that whip.”
“Obviously. You’re too good with it.”
“Thank you, I think.”
I opened the top of my robe and tweaked my nipples between my fingers.
Tate’s eyes dilated. “There’s no one else like you, Blue.”
There’s no one else like you, Blue,
stored for later use in my self-torture. As I scanned his physique, he opened his robe, pushing it to the sides. I heard the tear of a condom wrapper and watched him roll the latex down his shaft.
His hands took over, shifting me to face the beach. He lowered me down onto his cock, my back pressed against his chest.
Once fully seated atop of him, I groaned. “So good,” I whispered into the ocean breeze.
One of his strong arms held me under my breasts while his other hand rolled my clit between his fingers. He rode me hard, up and down.
It didn’t take long for my orgasm to fire after all of the foreplay and teasing. “Ohhh,” I cried out.
His hand covered my mouth as my release continued to contract around his engorged cock.
I giggled through his fingers and then lay spent against him as he rolled his hips underneath me and reached his own climax.
We stayed like that, relaxing in the breeze, listening to the ocean. Then he moved me off his lap and stood, the navy robe hanging from his shoulders. I wrapped mine around me and sat back down as he headed inside.
He strolled back out with the robe tied tightly around him, and leaned against the sidewall. “So how’d it go with Bond last night?”
Ah, and another boundary rears its head. Ann would be so proud.
“From here forward, talking about Bond is off limits.”
“That’s not going to work for me,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.
“It’s going to have to.”
“Are you going to talk about us with him?”
“Number one, we are not an ‘us’ and two, definitely. You can limit a lot with us, but not with whom I share.”
“I can if it’s about me.”
I rolled my eyes. “You won’t give me any details about you, so I don’t know anything about you to tell.”
“So what is there to say?”
“Unless you’ve lived under a rock—quite frankly as rocks go, this place is stellar—and have never had a friend, I’m certain you know what there is to discuss. I didn’t go into detail about our sex or anything like that, although the girls know about your cock.”
His mouth dropped open, and he appeared stunned.
“Not my doing, you can thank Cat for that.”
He shook his head and said, “I don’t think I want to know.”
“Trust me, you don’t.”
“I want to see you tomorrow.” He stood up straight.
The boundaries were starting to pile up. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Besides, I sometimes see Bond on Mondays. Let’s meet up at Red’s on Wednesday. Does that work?”
“That’s three days away.”
“Good counting skills.” I felt proud of myself, three whole boundaries and counting.
Before I knew what was happening, he pulled me out of my seat and held me on the deck railing, my feet off the ground. He ground his body and mouth against mine, holding me prisoner.
Jerking his head back, he said, “I can’t wait three days. Just stay tonight, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“No,” I insisted, trying to get out of the hold he had on me, even though his aggression totally reignited a need in me.
“Tuesday.”
“Okay, okay. Put me down.”
He lowered me to the deck. “Or tomorrow would be better. You have the whole day off.”
I walked back through the house and to the bathroom. As Tate watched, I changed into shorts and a T-shirt. It would be so easy for me to give in and spend the whole day with him. Locking eyes with him, I already knew I wanted more. More than he would ever give to me.
Say yes!
My body cried.
“No. It’ll be late, but I can see you on Tuesday after my shift at Tap 42.”
“Okay.”
I threw my dirty work clothes and robe into my bag and zipped it up.
He walked me to the side door and kissed me gently. “Thank you for tonight. I promise, it’ll get easier.”
“That’s not a promise you can make,” I mumbled as I made my way to my car.
CHAPTER NINE
Black and Blue
by Miike Snow
A
ll day Monday, I fought with myself about calling Tate. Even after two back-to-back step aerobics classes, I still felt antsy. I tried to write and edit, but I couldn’t focus. The sex, what he said and didn’t say, it all just swirled around like a tide pool in my head.
For someone who refused to open up, he sure seemed to want a full-on relationship. Maybe it was just sex. He had years to make up for, and I needed to remember that. Oh, the sex. It pissed me off that I felt so much when he could go on feeling nothing. His stupid, fucking hands and energy touched more than my body and yet, that was all I was, a body. The very situation I had struggled to avoid for years.
Part of me hoped Bond would call so I could lose myself in him for a few hours and yet, I wasn’t sure I could do it. Just as I thought about reaching out to him, he texted me.
Bond:
Can I see you?
Me:
Come here?
Bond:
Sure. Should I pick up food along the way?
Me:
Please!
Bond:
See you soon.
I changed the sheets on my bed and jammed my overflowing laundry into the closet, forcing the door closed.
Laundry as soon as Bond leaves!
Knowing Bond’s routine, he wouldn’t be staying long. He’d be back at Red’s by dinnertime.
Bond strolled in without knocking, placing a white paper bag on the table. “I got us some burgers and fries.” All in black, with his long, dark hair down, tight jeans, and a fitted T, I had a hard time not comparing him to Tate. He walked off to the bathroom and when he came back into the kitchen, he sat casually, legs spread open.
“I’m starving, thanks.” I hadn’t eaten anything since my oatmeal before working out. “Something to drink?”
“What’ve you got?”
I opened the fridge and said, “Margarita in a bottle, Dos Equis from the last time you were here, OJ, which may or may not still be good, and water.”
“Dos Equis.”
I opened the beer and poured me some water. “How are things going with Jacqs and Red?” I asked as I joined him at the table.
He swallowed his bite of burger. “Same. Jacqs insists all is grand, but I get the feeling Red’s ready for me to move on, as if it’s a given he gets her in the end.”
“Bond?” I touched his arm.
“Yes, love?”
“We all do.”
He raised an eyebrow. “I guess we’ll see.”
“You’re not mad at me, are you?”
“You know I’m not. I count on you to cut through the bullshit.” He dipped some fries in ketchup and tossed them in his mouth. “And Tate. Have you seen him since Saturday?”
I blushed uncontrollably.
“That good, huh?”
“Worse.”
“Cute Post-It on the mirror,” he said, one eyebrow raised. “What are you going to do?” He took another bite of his burger, watching my expression.
“I’m trying to take Ann’s advice. She said I need to establish my own boundaries.”
“And have you?”
I took a sip of water. “Some. He’s very pushy, though.”
“Care to share?” He put his burger down and leaned back.
“You’ll laugh.”
He wiped his hands on a napkin and said, “Tell me anyway.”
“No sleepovers.”
“That’s not funny, that’s smart. What else?”
I sighed. “He wanted to see me today, and I said no.”
“So you are making him wait? That’s also very good. More?”
“I told him questions about you are off limits.” I expected Bond to laugh, but he didn’t.
He tilted his head and scrunched his eyebrows. “Why?”
“Because he’s constantly asking about you, and why should I share my personal life when he doesn’t.”
He brushed his hand over his long hair and seemed to be thinking. “So he’s possessive. Is he dating anyone else?”
“No.”
“You’re both in trouble.” He sat forward and continued eating his lunch.
“What does that mean?”
He placed the beer bottle back on the table. “He wants you for himself on his terms—”
“Yes, he’s been very upfront about that,” I said, nodding.
“If he wasn’t at all invested, Blue, he wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about me.”
“What are you saying?”
“Like I said, you’re both in trouble.”
“That makes me feel better.” I laughed.
“I get it. Equal suffering.”
“That’s what I love about you, Bond. You get me.”
“We’re two peas in a far-out pod.”
“Oh my god, that’s funny coming from you. You must have gotten that from Jacqs. Sometimes I wish we, you and me, could just fall in love with each other.”
He touched my hand. “It would make things easier, wouldn’t it?”
“Yeah,” I said, staring into his light brown eyes. Sometimes life seemed so unfair.
“In the meantime, I kind of like this turn of events.” He helped himself to another beer from the fridge.
“What do you mean?”
“You distract me from Jacqs, and now I get to distract you from Tate. It’s more equal.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s true. Will you do me a favor?”
“Sure, anything,” he said, sitting back down.
“Get to know Tate.”
“I shouldn’t have said ‘anything.’ If he won’t let you in, what are the chances?”
“I need to know your opinion. It matters to me. You’re like the big brother I wish I had.”
“He already has an issue with me. I don’t see it happening. But fuck, I’ll try. For you. I’ll talk to Red. He has a better shot, Stay too.”
“Good idea. Thank you.” I hopped onto his lap, wrapped my arms around his neck, and kissed him.
“Are you done eating?” he asked when we broke apart.
“For now.”
Bond carried me to the bedroom and granted me two wonderful hours of distraction from Tate. I did tackle the laundry and actually dusted after he left.