Blue Persuasion (12 page)

“How so?”

I didn’t answer right away. To explain something that felt ethereal seemed practically impossible. How could I explain it to another when I really didn’t understand it myself? “For one, everything feels so intense, and I don’t just mean the sex, but wow in that department. For a man who doesn’t want to feel, he seems to feel everything too much. He surrounds me. I feel him. That sounds stupid, but I do.”

“Not stupid.” He pulled me close and hugged me to him, his head above mine. “You’re already in trouble.”

“Yes...” I love Bond for many reasons, but none more than that he knew me better than anyone else did and he never judged me.

“I’ll be here for you.”

“Thank you.” I snuggled in tighter against him and then kissed him goodnight.

His breathing quickly evened out as I lay awake. I wondered if Tate was in bed. I thought of his hands as I drifted off to sleep.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Stay with Me

by Sam Smith

B
ond left to go back to Red’s house where he lived part-time, and I headed home for a quick shower and a change before my women’s group. I packed a bag of clothes so I had something comfortable change into after work.

Once at the Bread Building, I made it to our meeting room just before group started.

“Before we begin, I need to let you know there will be no meeting next week. I’ll be out of town next Sunday. Who would like to start today?” Ann asked.

We all stared at each other until I noticed most of them looking at me. “What?” I demanded, throwing up my hands.

“I think they’re interested to hear about the man you mentioned last week.”

“Soap opera a’ la Judy?” I mumbled.

“You can consider it interest.”

“Yeah, we’re interested all right,” Charmaine said, leaning forward toward me.

“What do you want to know?”

“Did you fuck him?” Charmaine blatantly asked.

“Yes.”

Three of the women gasped, and two covered their mouths.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

“Care to elaborate?” Suzie asked.

Then I just blurted it all out, mostly because I wanted to shock Charmaine. “It was good, no great, and then he abruptly took off. He’s broken, emotionally unavailable, and the hottest man I’ve ever been with. Complete and utter trouble but well, you know me, a magnet for the emotionally retarded. He wants me. He made me Post-It notes to add to my collection of affirmations. I can’t share them all, but one says, ‘Blue is everyone’s favorite color.’ That’s my nickname.”

“So a romantic, emotional retard,” Suzie crooned, practically swooning.

“I think he might have been perfect for me, if I’d found him before he got broken. Anyway, I saw him again last night and will see him again tonight.”

“Is this the best choice for you, Judy?” Ann asked with no judgment in her expression.

“The absolute worst, so far as I can tell.”

The women in the group shared a collective laugh, except for Ann.

“It’s not too late to change your mind,” she said. “One of the goals of therapy is to make different choices for you, to find strategies to support taking better care of yourself.”

“Obviously, she’s not there yet,” Charmaine said.

I pursed my lips and narrowed my eyes in her direction.

She held up her hands, palms out. “I’m nowhere near close myself. I took off my assistant’s head just yesterday.”

“What does he want from you?” Toby asked me. She rarely spoke up in group at all.

“He says friendship and sex.”

“So, like Mitchell?” she asked, shifting her knees in my direction. The group knew Bond by his given name.

“Not exactly. Well actually, exactly how it used to be with Mitchell before he shared his past.” Bond’s fiancé died in a car crash, and he did prison time because he had been driving the car.

I continued, “Yes. There is one huge difference, though.”

“What’s that?” Toby asked.

“Mitchell and I have been friends for years, and we love each other in our own way. Tate? I don’t know him, and he has no intention of letting me in.”

“Judy, what do you hope to get out of spending time with Tate?” Ann asked.

“Heartbreak and devastation.” I looked around at the women with mouths agape. “I’m sort of kidding. I mean, I am. I hope he decides to lower his fortress of protection and lets me know him, maybe even love him.”

“Why him?”

“Probably because he’s unavailable. I clearly see what I’m doing, but how the hell can I change it when my body leads me astray? I guess I’ll have to settle for really amazing sex until I meet Mr. Right, or Mr. Wrong morphs into Right.”

“I’d like to advise you that you still have a choice,” Ann stated.

“Come on, Ann. Even I’m on Judy’s side this time,” Charmaine piped in. “Maybe you’ve been with your husband too long to remember what it’s like out there. It’s not like there’s a line of healthy men to choose from. Are we supposed to remain alone and celibate waiting for Mr. Perfect?”

“Wow,” I whispered.

“Yeah, I know. Shocking, right?” Charmaine agreed.

“Very and thanks.”

She nodded.

“If we spend the time working on ourselves, setting our standards at the appropriate levels, then a healthier match will present itself,” Ann lectured.

“Sorry, no, I’m with Judy and Charmaine on this one,” Suzie said. “I’m not saying it’s impossible, just not as easy as you make it seem. Being alone in life sucks the big one.”

I chuckled to myself thinking,
And oh, he has a big one!

“Since you sound determined to move ahead with Tate, I task you with establishing boundaries for yourself so that the relationship isn’t completely on his terms.”

“That sounds wise. I’ll have to think about that before heading over to his place after work tonight. Thanks for listening and for your support,” I said to the group.

♥♥♥♥♥

I had extra zip in my steps at work later that evening. I had reworked the first chapter and applied Tate’s suggestions to chapter two before going in. As I cleared a table and laid down a check, I combed my brain for boundaries as Ann had suggested. The only one I came up with so far was no sleepovers. For me, there was something very intimate about waking up next to a person in the morning. Until recently, Bond and I had never done it. Because of our tight friendship, it worked and hadn’t changed things.

After cleaning my section and side station, I checked out with the night manager and headed to my car. That night the driver’s side door seemed to be possessed.
I do solemnly promise that I am going to call Tate’s guy and get this sucker fixed.
I plugged Tate’s address into my phone’s GPS and followed the instructions. The closer I got to Fort Lauderdale beach, the more confused I became. Did he come from money? A professor at a local college could not afford a house on Fort Lauderdale beach. I relaxed just slightly when I pulled into the driveway of a smallish home on the beach.

He met me at the door of my car and opened it for me.

“I’m calling tomorrow.”

“Good.” He held out his hand and lifted me to my feet.

“You live on the beach?”

“It’s a rental.”

I gazed up at him, questions bouncing around in my head. I held them in.

“Thank you,” he said, taking the bag of clothes from me and leading me around the car to the side door of the house.

“For what?” I asked, taking in his sharp features. The planes of his clean-shaven face looked stern as ever, but his mouth looked more relaxed. I couldn’t help imagining his full lips on mine again.

“For not asking.”

“Oh.”

Inside the house, I scanned the furnishings. “Love the dark wood floors. It’s great.”

“It came furnished.”

“Kudos to the owner then.”

“The place is great except for—”

“Holy shit! Check out this view. I’d live right out here.” I walked out onto the deck. The beach, ocean, and horizon spread out below.

“I spend a lot of time out here: planning my classes, marking papers, reading for pleasure, having coffee in the morning, etcetera.”

I wondered if he’d ever had sex out there, but then I remembered he hadn’t had sex in over three years before meeting me.

“I see where your mind’s going, Blue.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Has anyone ever told you, you have eyes the color of the ocean?”

I paused before responding, not sure if the truth fit the moment. I went with, “That’s how I got my nickname.”

“Bond.” He figured it out anyway.

“Yes.”

“That man is going to be the bane of my existence.”

“That’s rather dramatic, don’t you think. I have to contend with your past, and you have to do the same.”

“He’s not in the past.”

“Neither is your past in the past. It lives in your present. Besides, Bond is the exact buffer we need. You don’t want me falling for you, and Bond will provide me some balance.”

“I still don’t like it.”

“Good.”

“Good?”

“Yep, totally great really. I shouldn’t have to be the only one to suffer.”

“Oh, you will suffer plenty tonight.”

His words torpedoed my clit. My breathing accelerated as we stared at each other.

“Let’s get you showered first. I wish we could shower together, but the bathroom is the worst feature of the house. It’s definitely not made for two.”

The tiny bathroom was completely white: the tile, walls, toilet, sink, and even the shower curtain.

“What’s with the two mirrors?” I asked, pointing to the two framed mirrors hanging on the wall, one over the sink and the other over the toilet.

“I have no idea. Here’s a towel,” he said, handing it to me and placing my bag on the closed toilet seat.

“Thanks.”

Once he left me alone in the bathroom, I pulled back the curtain and set the temperature to warm. I stripped off my clothes, wondering if I should dress again or just don my robe. I used my own shampoo, conditioner, and soap. After finishing, I lifted his soap to my nose. Lemon, wood, earthy, and something else I couldn’t discern. It definitely was part of his unique smell and being at his place, I understood why he smelled of the ocean breeze.

I dried off and wrapped myself in my robe, hung the towel up on the hook on the wall by the door, and threw my bag and dirty clothes into the corner. “I hope wearing my robe isn’t too presumptuous,” I said as I approached

“Not at all. Come here.” He held his arms out for me and I stepped into his embrace, his lips gently kissing mine. He maneuvered us over to the plush, white couch and positioned me on his lap, my legs draped over his thighs. His teeth caught my bottom lip and then he increased the pressure of our kiss. His tongue slid alongside mine, at first leisurely, and then ardently.

When we parted, I whispered, “You taste so good.”

“I was thinking the same thing.” His eyes were dancing and affectionate. “Would you like something to eat or drink before we get started?”

“I’m good. I ate at work. I feel anxious to get started.”

He laughed. “Okay. If anything I do is too much, just say red.”

“Why does hearing you say that turn me on? At least part of it anyway. Let’s not use Red’s name and choose another word? Geronimo?”

“Very funny, silly girl. It turns you on because you’re a very naughty, kinky woman and you need to be used appropriately.”

“Appropriately, huh?”

“Let me show you.” He untied the sash and slipped my robe off my shoulders. He led me to the bedroom that had a king-size, blond wood, sleigh bed against the back wall. The dim light shrouded the brown walls in shadow. He set me on my back in the center of the bed and shed his jeans and shirt, revealing an astonishing portrait of masculinity.

I never imagined being so drawn to a man who towered over me and yet, when he wrapped me in his arms, I never wanted to leave. My body trembled, waiting for what he would do to me.

“Put your arms above your head,” he ordered, lifting a piece of rope from the nightstand. He wrapped my wrists together and tied it off at the base of the headboard. His large, firm hands ran down my arms, neck, and stomach, following the curve of my hip. They didn’t soothe me but instead, awoke every nerve ending on the surface. “Spread your legs wide.”

When he lifted another piece of rope, I uttered, “Uh ... Tate?”

“Yes, darlin’?”

“Please don’t lie on—”

“I have other plans for you. Relax.” He ran his hand down the center of my chest, across my stomach to my left leg. Then he rendered me helpless, tying my ankles to the bottom corners of the bed.

I tried to regulate my breathing but failed as I started to pant. My adrenaline fired, causing my nipples to harden into tight peaks and sending moisture to my pussy.

“I love it, you’re nipples are ready for me.” His warm mouth descended over my right bud, suckling and yanking on it, his teeth grazing back and forth. He kept at it until I tried to move away from him, the sensation so intense. The ropes allowed me no such escape. His mouth moved to the other side as his blessed hands began exploring my body. They modeled my flesh, leaving their heat behind. He avoided the one spot that needed the most attention.

I groaned heavily, lifting my pelvis, praying for a single touch on my clit.

“You’re a very naughty girl.” He ran a finger through my wetness and continued, “Not only do you let strange men tie you up, but it makes you so wet, you drip onto the bed.” He stalked around to the other side and asked, “What should I do with you?”

My body vibrated and shook with anticipation.

His back faced me, and I saw a flash of light reflected off the dresser mirror. When he turned around, I gasped. He held a lit, long-stem candle and his incredible phallus jutted out toward me.