Blossoms of Love (25 page)

Natalie got the job being a receptionist for Dr. Morris. Things were going smoothly now. Lamont was happy because he could go hunting without seeing the disapproving look on her face. Natalie was happy because her days were fulfilled. By the time Christmas was getting near, Lamont could tell something was interfering with their sex life. It was either the job or she had lost her desire for him.

One morning as Lamont and David were going hunting David asked, “How’s Nat doing?” Lamont remarked, “I haven’t seen her in a week. She’s alright I guess.” David looked at Lamont, “What’s wrong?” Lamont said, “It’s that damn job. Is Carolyn always tired? Too tired to make love?” David said, “Sometimes she is. I won’t have to worry about her working much longer. She found out yesterday she’s pregnant.” Lamont grinned, “That’s great bud.” David asked, “Don’t you and Nat ever want children?” Lamont said, “We both want children. We’ve been trying for way over a year. Maybe we’re trying too hard.” David looked at Lamont. He looked worried. David said, “Look Monty, we’ve been friends a long time. Just what is your and Natalie’s trouble? You two have had the damnedest on and off marriage I’ve ever seen? Lamont said, “To tell you the damn truth, I don’t know. We get one thing straightened out and there’s another. I love her Dave. She’s the only woman I’ve ever loved but I agree with you. We’ve got a hell of a marriage. I don’t think a baby would change things either. I’ve come to the point, I think we clash. We don’t think alike, our interests are different. We just don’t have anything in common.” Lamont got on his horse then David got on his. Lamont said, “Next week we’ll be married three years. Neither one is happy like we were when we first got married. It shouldn’t be like this Dave. Natalie doesn’t like this country and I couldn’t be happy in Alabama. She likes to go places at night. I like to stay at home. I know one damn thing, something has got to change. Our sex life isn’t very good lately.” David said, “I wish I knew an answer. I wish I could help you and Natalie because I love you both very much.” Lamont said, “I wish you had an answer too. It’s worrying the hell out of me.”

Christmas day Carolyn and David announced that she was going to have a baby. That opened an old wound for Natalie. Lamont knew that was why she was so quiet all afternoon on the plane to the Agars. They couldn’t leave until Christmas because of the weather. Lamont looked at her, “I don’t like this silent treatment.” Natalie said, “I don’t like everyone getting pregnant but me either. Do you realize everyone’s having babies in the Ellman family and even my brother’s wife. Everyone but me.” Lamont said, “Yes I know. I’m doing all I can Natalie.” Natalie nagged, “Monty you’re twenty-nine years old.” Lamont said, “I know what you’re going to say. Alright if it will stop this nagging, I’ll go after the holidays and be examined.” She sighed with a pleasing smile. He said, “Don’t look so damn pleased. If there is something wrong with me what are you gonna do? Get a divorce? Then you could marry someone for breeding purposes. That’s all you really want isn’t it? A stud who can give you the works?” Natalie said with tears in her eyes, “Monty don’t talk to me that way. You know that isn’t so. If anything is wrong, we could adopt a baby like Alice and Berry did.” She tried to hold back the tears, “I love you Monty. Please tell me you don’t really believe I want you just so I can have babies. I don’t ever want a divorce.” She took his hand in hers. When he looked at her, their eyes met. She said, “I do love you. I didn’t know you felt this way.” Lamont was disgusted, “How the hell do you expect me to fee? Every time anyone in the family gets pregnant, you get up tight about it and blame me. For two years you’ve bugged me like hell for a baby. I think you just want a baby because everyone in the family is having one. You can’t stand someone having something you don’t have.” He ran his fingers through his hair, “Our marriage is rotten Natalie. Our married life is like a roller coaster. One day it’s up, the next day it’s down. I tell you Natalie, I’m getting a belly full.” Natalie looked at him, “Monty you’re scaring me talking this way.” His voice was calm and quiet, “It scares me too.” He squeezed her hand, “Where is the answer for us Natalie? We can’t go on this way. It’s destroying everything we once had.” She looked over at him, “There’s nothing destroyed.” He said calmly, “Stop fooling yourself. You know we’re not the same as we were.” Natalie said, “We’re older, that’s all.” Lamont replied, “Sure we’re older. The more reason we should be closer. Our love should be greater.” Natalie asked, “Are you telling me you don’t love me anymore?” Lamont answered, “No I’m not saying that. I do love you but for some reason we can’t live together and make each other happy.” She asked, “But Monty, how can two people love each other and not be happy?” Lamont said, “I don’t know. I wish I did. Our problems would be solved.”

They spent three days in Alabama. After New Years’ Lamont kept his promise and went to see Dr. Morris. After the examination Dr. Morris said when he sat down, “Lamont there is nothing wrong with you.” Lamont drew a sigh of relief. He was beginning to think there was something wrong with him. Dr. Morris said, “I know of no reason why you and Natalie can’t have children. You’re both in excellent health.” Lamont said, “Thank you doc. I feel a lot better.”

Natalie was sweeping snow off the steps when he got home. She looked up as he came towards her. He said, “There’s nothing wrong with me either. Dr. Morris said I was in excellent condition in every way.” Natalie said, “I just don’t understand. Could Dr. Morris be wrong?” Maybe he’s made a mistake about one of us.” Lamont said, “Now look, we’ve both been examined by a very fine doctor. There is nothing wrong with either of us.” Natalie asked, “Then why don’t I get pregnant?” Lamont sighed, “I don’t know. Even Dr. Morris doesn’t know. He said sometimes when a woman wants a baby so much, she tries too hard to get pregnant. So relax and let it happen.” Natalie said, “I don’t believe that.” He threw his arms up, “I give up on you Natalie.”

Spring came early this year. Natalie was glad. Lamont had started the addition to the house. It was going to be a huge house. When it was completed in May, Natalie quit her job. She had gotten tired of working. As Ellen helped Natalie hang the beautiful velvet drapes in the living room she said, “Oh Natalie, you and Monty have the most beautiful house in this country. Monty always said he would give you what you were use to.” Natalie agreed, “It is a beautiful house. Monty and I will get lost from each other.” Ellen said, “I need this house for my tribe. I’m expecting again. You’re the first to know. Johnny doesn’t even know yet.” Natalie said, “That’s wonderful Ellen.” Ellen sighed, “I don’t think Johnny will think it’s so wonderful. There’s Lucy eight, Bobby six, and Sandy nine months. Sandy will only be seventeen months old when this one is born.” Natalie said, “You’re lucky Ellen. You have a nice family.” Ellen laughed, “Yea, looks like we’re taking after our parents. His mother had six and mine had eight. Be patient, one of these days you’ll be pregnant.” Natalie said, “I had hopes for a while but not any more. Monty and I are on our fourth year of married life.” Ellen said, “So what? I’ve heard of couples being married six or eight years before they start a family.”

The next week, Monty and Natalie moved in the new part of their house. Lamont was proud of the new addition, more so than Natalie. It was very elaborate and very large. Lamont stood in the door of his study. He said, “This is my room fellows. All mine. How do you like it?” Johnny said, “It’s great brother. Remember how you and I use to lie in bed at night planning our life? How we use to dream of a house like this?” Lamont said, “Yea, I remember.” Johnny smiled, “Well, you’ve made your dream come true. I always said you’d be the successful one.” Berry said, “Me too. Monty always had more determination.” Lamont laughed, “Have you two forgotten our two brothers who don’t live here? Looks to me like they are the successful ones. Paul is a very fine doctor and Allen a professional football player. Both of them are making more money than we can ever make.” Leon said, “You’re in the same group Monty. You bought this ranch and made something with it. You’ve got one of the largest herds of horses in the state and lord knows how many cattle you’ve got.” Lamont put one of his guns in the rack, “I’m not too damn successful. All of you have children. That’s what Natalie wants more than anything.” Leon suggested, “Adopt one like Ann and Berry did.” Lamont sighed, “I thought about it but I don’t think I could love someone else’s child as my own.” Berry said, “You can. I had my doubts too when we first started to talk about adoption. But now our son—he seems like mine. I just couldn’t love him more if he was my flesh and blood.”

When they were all done with the house, they all went to Mom Ellman’s to eat. She told them she would have a good, hot meal ready. As they ate Ann asked, “Wonder if Paul will ever marry?” Ellen said, “Sure but he’ll probably marry some rich girl.” Lamont said, “Like I did.” Ellen said, “Oh Natalie is one of us.” Alice said, “Yea, her riches never made her snooty.” Ann asked Mrs. Ellman, “When is Cindy and Allen coming home? I’d love to see their baby.” Mrs. Ellman said, “I got a letter from them yesterday. It will be Thanksgiving before they can get home.” Johnny said, “Mom everything was very good and I ate too much.” Ellen said, “Come on girls, let’s get everything cleaned up. We’ve got to get home. I bet our little wild indians are running our baby sitter crazy.” As Natalie glanced up and saw Carolyn and David standing near the kitchen, his hands resting on her waist looking at her as though he could eat her up. You could see the love pouring from both of them. Natalie thought, “Oh Monty, you use to look at me like that. We use to feel like they do.” Ann came over to Natalie, “Isn’t love wonderful? Those two are so much in love they don’t know anyone else is alive.” Natalie said, “Why can’t everyone be that way?” Ann answered, “I guess we all are only we just don’t show it like they do. Leon doesn’t like to show his affection in public. He believes in keeping that in our bedroom.” Natalie let the water out of the sink, “Monty use to be like Dave. If he wanted to kiss me on the street corner or in a crowded store, he did. He doesn’t do that any more.” Ann looked at Natalie. She was a very plain spoken person yet she and Natalie were very close. Ann said, “Maybe I should keep my mouth shut but Nat, you and I are more than sisters-in-law aren’t we? We’re even closer than friends. I think I should tell you something. All marriages have their ups and downs.” Natalie said, “Ours has had more downs than ups.” Ann said, “I admit Monty leaves you alone too much. He should sacrifice some of his hunting trips for you, but on the other hand, he’s a hard worker and he really had that beautiful house built for you. He wants to give you things that you are use to. I would say Monty is a bit self-centered but his world is you, the ranch, hunting, and fishing. Since you knew Monty five years before you married him, I’m sure you knew this. Natalie you’ll never change him. No matter how much he loves you he’ll never give up his way of life. I know it was hard on you to be brought to a country so different from what you were use to. Have you really tried to make this your home? You’re self-centered too. You’ve got a wonderful husband and a good provider. He has given you everything a woman could want.” Natalie said, “Except a baby.” Ann said, “That can’t be helped. Surely you don’t blame him for that. I know you’re unhappy and so is Monty. It shows. If you’ll just forget this obsession about a baby, you can both be happy. Maybe you don’t mean to but you do blame Monty for you not having a baby. He knows you do. You’ve broken his manly spirit.” Natalie cried, “Ann I can’t stop thinking of a baby.” Ann warned her, “You’d better if you want to keep Monty. He loves you but one of these days he will get his fill and walk out.” Natalie said, “He wouldn’t just walk out on me.” Ann said, “I hope you’re right.”

Natalie and Lamont walked across the hill to their house. The moon was shining bright. He wasn’t holding her hand or didn’t attempt to put his arm around her. Natalie asked, “Monty, you’d never walk out on me would you?” Lamont looked at her with a very surprised look, “Hell no. What brought this on?” She answered, “Oh nothing. I was just watching Carolyn and Dave tonight. They are so much in love. He looks at her like you use to look at me.” Lamont said, “I still look at you that way. You just don’t see it. You’re too busy blaming me because you’re not pregnant.” Natalie said, “I love you Monty.” His face was very serious, “I want to believe you Nat. Sometimes I have my doubts.” Natalie said, “How can you doubt me?” Lamont said, “If you don’t know why, there’s no need in me trying to tell you. You’d just deny what I’d say.” Natalie asked impatiently, “Why Monty?” Lamont said, “I don’t want to argue.” He opened the door to their house. They went to bed without another word.

Just before Thanksgiving, Lamont bought a single engine plane. He learned to fly in the Navy and loved it. He made arrangements to keep it in the hanger at the airport in town. When he got home, Natalie was brushing her hair. She had just taken a bath and had only her robe on. Lamont came in the house smiling with a twinkle in his eyes. He picked her up, swinging her around, kissing her. “Baby we can go to Alabama any time you want from now on. I just bought us a plane. I’ll teach you how to fly next spring.” Natalie got angry, “You bought a plane?” He grinned, “Yea, I use to be a pretty good pilot. With a little practice, I will be again.” She demanded, “Put me down.” It was then he noticed she was angry. He put her down. Natalie said, “I don’t believe it. We didn’t need a plane. That’s just something else to be away from home with.” He said, “I thought it would be something we could do together.” Natalie grumbled, “You know I hate flying. This is it Lamont Ellman. You can have your fishing, hunting, flying, and this God forsaken ranch. I’m going home where I really belong. I’m going tomorrow.” She went to the bedroom and slammed the door.

After a while when the house was quiet and she knew Lamont was asleep in another bedroom she thought, “Have you gone too far this time? You know he won’t stop you from going?”

She was up early. She cooked breakfast then she would wake Lamont and tell him how sorry she was about last night. She would get him to make love to her and that would patch up another quarrel. Lamont liked pancakes. She mixed the batter and decided to wake him before she put them on the grill. When she opened the bedroom door, it was quiet and dark. She knew Lamont was still asleep. He was sleeping soundly. She stood looking down at him. She sighed, “What a beautiful hunk of man.” She leaned over and kissed him. She let her robe come open so he could see her breasts. He stirred. She kissed him again. She took his hand and put it inside her robe. She whispered, “I’m sorry about last night Monty.” He opened his eyes. He moved his hand from her breast. He just looked at her. She begged, “Love me Monty, please love me.” He sat up in bed. She said, “I’m really sorry I got so mad last night. Are you mad at me?” He said, “No I’m not mad.” She asked, “Why did you move your hand? I want you to make love to me.” Lamont looked very serious, “I want you to go to Alabama.” Natalie dropped down on the bed, “I didn’t really mean what I said. I was just angry.” Lamont said, “It’s not what happened just last night. It’s the dozens of times before. I’ve done everything I know to make you happy. I’ve worked like hell to make this ranch pay off and it is. Now I can give you things I couldn’t before. I really thought buying the plane would help us be together more. Nothing works for us. I want you to go back to Alabama where you really belong. Maybe you can find what you really want out of life. It’s certain I can’t give it to you. There is some reason, but I don’t know what, that I can’t give you a baby. I’m not enough for you. I’d like children too but I don’t keep it my only means of living. Winter is almost here. That means a long, lonely time for you so it’s best you go to your parents. If you find you can live with me the way things are, I’ll be here.” Natalie said, “Monty it wouldn’t be lonely here if you wouldn’t go hunting so much. We could do things together.” He replied, “Name one thing we could do.” She looked at him, “We could spend hours making love.” He laughed, “You don’t like it that well.” He got up to take a shower, “Get your things together. I’ll make reservations.” She cried as she packed her clothes.