Authors: Juanita Jane Foshee
It was late afternoon when Lamont got to Mobile. He decided before he made his appearance at the Agar house he had to think about what he would say to Natalie. The right things had to be said this time because it would be the last. This decision would be the final one.
He got a room in a motel, showered, and shaved. It was getting late. He went down to the beach and walked along the water’s edge. The beach was almost deserted. His thoughts went back to their wedding day. How helped she looked with her leg in a cast. Then he thought of her sweetness and how eager she was to love him. Then he thought of her beautiful body. He remembered he was the happiest guy in the world to have such a beautiful bride. He tried hard to remember what happened between them. When did they start growing apart? He really couldn’t remember. Maybe he was so busy trying to make the ranch a success he never noticed. He said to himself, “That’s where I made a big mistake. I should have noticed.” He knows now that Natalie required a lot of attention, more than he gave her. He breathed, “God Natalie, come back to me. Be my wife, my lover, and my friend. I need you. God how I need you.” He noticed it was dark now. He walked off the beach and hailed a taxi.
When he got there, the Agar house was lit up like a Christmas tree. Lamont knew there was a party going on. He paid the taxi driver and walked to the back of the house. Della was in the big kitchen preparing the food. Porter was serving it. Lamont opened the door, "Looks like a big party." Della jumped, “Monty! Monty Ellman you scared the daylights out of me. It’s Mrs. Agar’s birthday.” Lamont looked at the fancy-cut sandwiches, he took one. He said, “Umm, not bad Della. Only thing, they aren’t big enough.” Della kept working, “When did you come?” He answered, “Oh about three hours ago.”
He walked to the kitchen door. He saw Natalie looking just as beautiful as ever. She had let her hair grow fairly long and had bangs. For some reason, she looked his way. Then she saw him. She didn’t smile, she just stared at him for a second. Then she got up and came towards the kitchen, “Hello Monty.” He asked, “Could we go somewhere and talk?” She answered, “Sure. I won’t be missed.”
He followed her to the library. When Lamont shut the door behind him, the room was quiet. She said, “It’s been a long time Monty.” Lamont reached out and gently pulled her in his arms, holding her so close she could hardly breath. Lamont said almost in a whisper, “Too damn long.” He kissed her tenderly. She said, “I’m almost tempted to take you upstairs to bed.” He kissed her ear, “Would that be so wrong? We are married?”
Without another word she took his hand and he followed her up the long flight of stairs to her bedroom. Everyone was so busy talking and drinking that no one even noticed them. Natalie locked the door behind them, “I don’t want anyone bothering us.” She turned on her radio to some soft, romantic music. He watched her closely. She asked, “Why are you looking at me like that?” He said, “You’re something to look at.” She asked, “Do you like my hair long?” He reached out and pulled her down beside him on the bed, “I like everything about you.”
She unbuttoned his shirt and ran her hands under his tee-shirt to his hairy chest, “Monty make love to me.” That’s all he needed to send him in a tailspin of desire. He hadn’t touched a woman since Natalie left. Immediately they both undressed, their bodies together, making their desires fulfilled with the sweetness of love.
Natalie never went back downstairs that night. They made love off and on all night long. The parted lasted until dawn. Not even Natalie’s parents knew where she was. Mr. Agar got sloppy drunk and Mrs. Agar got tipsy. Dora and Ralph went home feeling high.
About nine o’clock, Natalie opened her eyes. She looked over at her sleeping husband. She breathed to herself, “Darling thank goodness you came to me. You do love me enough to come to me.” She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. Without opening his eyes, he reached over and pulled her to him. Lamont was happy again because they were like they use to be. She yawned, “I don’t know about you but I’m starved.” He said, “Come to think of it, I’m hungry too.” She pulled the hair on his chest, “I knew you’d be hungry.” He teased, “Hey those hairs grow there you know.”
As they dressed Natalie asked, “Where do we go today? The beach or the park? I think I’d rather go to the beach if it’s alright with you.” Lamont pulled the tee-shirt over his head, “Neither place honey. I think we should get started back home today.” She stopped brushing her hair, “What do you mean?” He said, “Home. In Montana.” She said, “Let’s go eat.”
Mr. and Mrs. Agar were very surprised to see Lamont. Mr. Agar said, “Hello Monty. I didn’t know you were here.” Mrs. Agar grunted, “When did you come?” Lamont answered, “Last night.” Mrs. Agar sighed, “So that’s why Della didn’t find Natalie last night.” Mr. Agar said, “Come on you two, breakfast is ready.” They both sat down at the table. Mr. Agar said, “Monty, me and three more fellows are planning to go hunting this year. We know you’re a good hunter. Would you care if we came to see you in November for a couple of weeks?” Lamont said, “Come ahead. You’re very welcome. Stay as long as you want.” Mr. Agar smiled, “Good. I’ll tell the fellows.”
After breakfast Natalie suggested, “Monty let’s take a walk down by the beach. We haven’t had our talk yet.”
Natalie said as she kicked at the sand, “Monty I’ve misunderstood you. I thought you came to me—to live here. Didn’t you read my letter?” Lamont stopped walking, picked her up, and sat her on a big rock. Then he stood in front of her. He looked straight into her eyes, “Yes I read your letter. Look babe, I can’t make a living here like I can at home. We’ve got it made on the ranch now. We’ve been through the hardest times. We’ve got a big ranch, a beautiful house, and a nice size bank account. Things will be different now. We can go to the ski lodge and spend a weekend once in a while in Seattle. Of course, I’ll have to spend most of my time on the ranch in the summer, but there will be things to do at home in the summer like cooking out, having picnics, and going to rodeos. You’ll have your own car so you can come and go as you please.” Natalie put a hand on each side of his face, “I love you Monty but I just can’t go back there to live.” He didn’t get angry, only asked her softly, “What is your reason?” Natalie said, “Monty people don’t live there like they do here. I guess the main reason is I don’t like it there. I would never like it there. I’d be unhappy and I’d make you unhappy.” Lamont said, “Natalie, I need you with me.” She said, “I need you too but it’s got to be here.” He asked, “Is that your final decision?” She said, “Yes Monty.”
Lamont reached up and helped her off the big rocky, “Okay baby. There’s no need for me to hang around any longer.” Natalie asked, “Are you telling me we’re calling it quits?” Lamont said, “I came after you Natalie, not to you.” Natalie said, “You can’t leave me. I won’t let you. What about last night. Our lovemaking. It was so beautiful.” Lamont said, “Yes it was beautiful. But that’s only part of a happy marriage. Two people have to work together, to want the same things.”
When they got back to the house, Lamont picked up the receiver to call a taxi to take him to the airport. She took the receiver from his hand, “I’ll drive you to the airport.”
They never talked at all on their way to the airport. She walked with him out to the twin engine plane. Natalie said, “I don’t understand you Monty.” She had tears in her eyes. He stood looking at her. There was hurt and sadness in his face, “I guess that’s our biggest trouble I don’t understand you either. Maybe I’m old fashioned but I believe what I was raised to believe and if it’s old fashioned, then that’s okay too. The way I see it, if you really loved me enough you could be happy anywhere I could make us a good living. I worked like hell those first three years just so you could have the comforts you were used to. I believed you when you told me you would be happy on a ranch if I bought it. I really thought you and I had something special. Maybe we did for a while but I tell you baby, I wish we hadn’t. It hurts like hell to have what we had and loose it. I had to come here and try one more time because I wanted you. I needed you.” She was crying. He continued, “This is it Nat. If you decide on a divorce, I won’t give you any trouble.” He started towards the plane. She cried out, “Please Monty don’t go. I love you.” He looked back, “Not enough. I want all of you, not bits and pieces. Part of you could never belong to me.”
She watched him get on the plane. He put the earphones on and talked to someone in the tower. He gave her a long look and taxied down the runway. She stood watching him leave the ground. He circled and headed the plane northwest.
All summer Lamont worked long hours on the ranch. He would work until he got so tired he could sleep at night. Everyone worried about him.
The first snow fell early in the fall. Lamont decided that since his mother was alone, he would move back in the house with her. He covered all the furniture with sheets, locked the doors, and moved in the house he was born in. Mrs. Ellman was glad to have him back home.
The first week in November, Mr. Agar called Lamont. “Is that hunting date still open for us?” Lamont said, “Sure, just come on anytime.” Mr. Agar said, “Okay, we’ll see you sometime tomorrow.”
Deep down inside Lamont thought Natalie would come with her father but she didn’t. Mr. Agar introduced his brother and two other men to Lamont. The other men were close business friends of Mr. Agar. Mrs. Ellman insisted on them staying at her house. Mr. Agar’s brother said, “They talk about southern people being so accommodating but they have nothing on the westerners.”
David was glad to see his father. He and Lamont went with them to show and tell them where to go hunting. Mr. Agar’s brother took a real liking to Lamont. He listened while Lamont showed them the best place to find their prey. Lamont said, “I’ll leave you all here. Maybe tomorrow Dave and I can hunt with you.”
As Mr. Agar and the two men walked on, his brother said to Lamont, “I’m a plain spoken person Monty. I like you. You’re a real man. My niece doesn’t have good sense. If she did, she’d stay with you. She is just like Dora, she wants a worm of a man. One that she can lead around by the nose. Don’t give in to her Monty.” Lamont said, “It’s all over for us.” He said, “Well maybe. When she finds out you’re not gonna crawl to her she’ll come back. I better go, they’ll leave me.”
The rest of the time they were there, David and Lamont went hunting with them.
Thanksgiving and Christmas came and went. Lamont began to drink heavily again. Sometimes he would be gone a whole weekend and no one would know where he was. He began to not care how he looked. He seemed to loose interest in the ranch. All he wanted was his booze.
One weekend David found out Lamont was in jail over in the next county. He went to get him out. When Lamont saw David, he looked at his best friend and said, “Don’t spend your money on me.”
They got in the car. David said, “Monty you’ve got to stop this. I’m having a hell of a time trying to keep both ranches up. Anyway, no woman is worth this.” Lamont said, “Dave you’ve never had your heart cut out of you.” David said, “The hell I haven’t.” Lamont said, “Sharon died. That couldn’t be helped. She didn’t leave you because she didn’t love you.” David said, “Hell Monty what difference does it make how you loose them. They’re gone just the same.” Lamont said, “Dave I ain’t never hurt like this before. When I drink, I feel nothing.”
David started the car, “Drinking won’t solve anything. You know that. I’m gonna talk straight to you. You’re gonna kill yourself at the rate you’re going. Do you want to throw everything you’ve got away? Hell no you don’t. Monty we’ve been through a lot together. You can lick this, I know you can if you’ll just try.”
For a few days, Lamont stayed close to home. Then he took off again. This time he was gone for almost three weeks and no one knew where he was. His brothers and David tried to find him but they couldn’t. On Mrs. Ellman’s birthday, Paul, Allen and Cindy, and the baby were there. They were eating breakfast when Cindy looked out the window and saw Lamont walking up the road toward the house. Cindy said, “Mom Ellman, here comes Monty.” Allen looked out the window, “Where on earth did he get that suit?” Mrs. Ellman said, “Who knows? He didn’t leave here wearing that.”
Allen went outside to meet Lamont. He hadn’t seen him in a long time. Lamont said, “Hi kid. When did you come?” Allen felt sick at heart to see the brother he always looked up to looking like a bum or a wino. He was always his idol. Now he saw him broken, dirty, and with a hangover. Allen said, “We came yesterday.” Lamont grinned, “You’re looking great kid.” Allen said, “You’re not Monty.” Lamont sighed, “No I guess I don’t look too good. I don’t feel so damn good either.”
In the house he never said a word, just kissed his mother on the cheek and went upstairs. Mrs. Ellman said heartbroken, “See what I told you. Monty is slowly killing himself.” Allen said, “I’ve never been so surprised. I never dreamed I’d ever see Monty like this.” Paul said, “None of us ever knew Monty would fall so deeply in love either. He’s hurt badly. I don’t think any of us knows just how bad. Only a woman could do this to a man as strong willed as Monty is. I believe he’ll bring himself out of this.” Cindy said, “Yea, if it doesn’t destroy him first.”
As the weeks passed, Lamont stayed sober. He was too busy to think of Natalie. He had eighteen mares giving birth during the month of October. He and David helped each other. Carolyn would help if they needed her. One Saturday late, as they finished helping the last mare give birth to twins, Lamont sighed, “You were great help Carolyn. Dave should be proud of you.” David said, ‘I am proud of her.” Carolyn said, “Being a nurse helps you know.” Lamont sat down on a bale of hay, “You know Natalie came once when a mare had her colt. She never wanted to come anymore.” Carolyn said, “Everyone can’t do things like this Monty.” Lamont remarked, “Mom did, so did Ellen. Natalie just didn’t like any part of my world or what goes with it.” David looked at Carolyn, “Monty why don’t you go to the ski lodge for a few days? We’re all caught up now.” David was afraid Monty would go on another drinking spree. Lamont said, “I’ve been thinking about it. The weather must be great up there for skiing now.”