Blonde and Blue (33 page)

I knocked firmly on the door and entered, glad to escape the sun’s harsh rays. Shoving my sunglasses on top of my head, I blinked a few times while my eyes adjusted to the dimmer lighting. The sound of voices drifted from the kitchen where I found them sitting at the table across from one another, drinking coffee.

They both looked up at my arrival, and I suddenly felt uneasy. Shaz’ eyes narrowed as he caught Kale’s scent, and I wished I could tell him that it wasn’t what he was thinking. I hesitated, unable to decide where to sit. Kylarai glanced up at me with red-rimmed grey eyes, and my heart broke for her.

“I’m not going to insult you by asking how you’re feeling.” I slid into a chair at the end of the table, purposely not sitting right next to either of them. It was so obvious. “I’m sorry, Ky. I never wanted this to happen.”

She shrugged and squeezed a crumpled tissue in one hand. “It happens. We knew it was dangerous. I just wish I’d had a chance to say something to him before it was too late.”

I knew that feeling very well. I reached across the table to give her hand a friendly squeeze. “I understand.”

“So you saw Kale?” She kept her expression neutral, but I could see the suspicion in her eyes. “You kind of smell like him.”

“Yeah, I saw him. I stopped by to tell him what happened. To let him know we were ok.” I looked from her to Shaz, peering intently into his jade eyes. “That’s all.”

Shaz cleared his throat and leaned back in his chair, but he didn’t remark on Kale. His silence bothered me more than if he’d been openly angry.

“Is there anything we can do for you?” I asked, changing the subject. “We can make you something to eat, run some errands. Anything.”

With a shake of her dark head, she tapped a fingernail on the side of her mug and stared into the remains of her coffee. “No. Thank you. Honestly, I just want to be alone. I don’t mean to be rude or anything.”

“Of course you’re not.” Shaz stood up and began to clear the cream and sugar off the table. “I’d want to be alone, too, if I were you.” He met my eyes briefly then, and I felt some of the tension between us slip away.

“I have something to ask the two of you, if you don’t mind.” A nervous rush caused my heart to race. I hadn’t planned to bring this up now, but it seemed to be just as good a time as any.

Shaz dropped back into his seat, and they both turned to face me. I sipped from my coffee and readied myself. This wasn’t going to be easy.

“Alright,” I continued, feeling the weight of their gazes. “There’s no real good way to say this. I hate to even have to bring it up, but if I don’t do it now, I might never get another chance. This is about my bond with Arys. You both know what it does to me. But lately, it’s gotten worse.” I paused, mustering the courage to spit out the real point. “I’ve been killing. Nothing crazed or incessant but it’s happened. What I need from the two of you is a promise. When I die, when I become a vampire … if I’m nothing but a blood crazed monster, I want you to promise that you’ll kill me.”

A moment of quiet passed, so intense that I could hear the buzz of various electronic devices in the house. They stared at me, Kylarai in calm contemplation and Shaz in stunned silence.

“Are you serious?” He asked after a long moment of thinking it over. “Do you realize what you’re really asking us?”

“There’s nobody else I can trust to do it. Other than maybe Jez.” My stomach turned, and coffee didn’t seem so good all of a sudden. “Arys would never do it. And, the way I’ve been feeling lately – the loss of control and sometimes not even knowing who I am anymore – I just want to know that if things get bad – if I’m not me anymore – when the time comes, that someone will stop me.”

Shaz gave a frustrated growl and leaned heavily on the table with his head in his hands. “Dammit, Lex!”

Kylarai didn’t share his reaction. She was nodding thoughtfully. “What about Arys and Kale? They’re not maniacal blood junkies tearing apart every human that crosses their path. Why would you be so different? If anything, they would help you through it.”

“They’ll do their best. I’m just asking you in a worst case scenario situation.” I hated the position I was putting Shaz in. His anguish at my request was heavy on the air. “Shaz, I asked the two of you because I know I can trust you to do it. Arys would never do it. And, I’m not sure I trust anyone else enough to ask it of them. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he groaned, running both hands through his short platinum hair so it stood up in disarray. “I’m glad you came to us. I’m just praying it never really has to come to that.”

I squirmed in my chair, finding it hard to sit comfortably. “I don’t plan on dying any time soon. Not if I can help it. I just need to know I can count on you guys if it comes to that.”

“You can. I promise.” Kylarai offered a reassuring hand pat and a small smile. “I strongly believe you have more inner strength than you know. And, when the time comes, you will realize that. But, if we have to do this, we will.”

“Thank you. That’s all I needed to hear.” Looking to Shaz, I raised a brow in question.

He slammed a hand down on the table, causing my coffee cup to jump. “I’m sorry. I just really need to hit something right now.”

“I think the two of you should probably talk.” Ky shoved her chair back and stood. “I’m going to take a bath and try to get some sleep. Thanks for coming by. And Shaz, thank you for staying with me. I’ll be fine. I know you have a birthday party coming up, Lex. I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”

She mustered another smile, but I saw right through it. She was doing her best to put on a good front so we would leave without worrying about her. I knew Kylarai. She was strong. Strong enough to have killed the wolf that attacked her as well as her abusive prick of a husband. This woman was a delicate flower on the surface, but underneath she was a rock. I knew she could handle the loss of Julian. Hell, she’d just agreed to kill me herself if she had to. Kylarai would be fine.

I got to my feet and pulled her into a warm hug. She smelled like wolf, and I held on a little longer than necessary to revel in that familiar scent.

“Alright, we’ll take off and let you have some time alone. Speaking of alone,” I glanced around curiously. “Where’s Zoey?”

“Apartment hunting. Now that she has the money Raoul left her, she’s striking out on her own. She’s even talked about getting a job.” Ky rolled her eyes. “Though I can’t imagine her working a regular job. Should be interesting to see what she gets herself into.”

“I guess that’s all good as long as she stays out of trouble. I can’t handle a repeat of our girl’s night out.”

I turned to leave, waiting while Shaz said goodbye to Kylarai. Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, he hugged her close. “Call us if you need anything. Even just to talk. Anytime, ok? I mean it.”

Shaz followed me from the house to the driveway where I stopped by his car. He looked as tired as I felt. I watched him run his hand through his tousled hair a few times, and I had to smile. I would never stop being grateful for him. He was a blessing.

“So you were with Kale.” His tone was careful, like he was trying to keep accusation from creeping into it.

I met his gaze evenly, having nothing to hide. “Yes. I needed to see him. I went to tell him that what happened with us that night can never happen again.”

“Oh.” He seemed surprised. “I see. I don’t know what to say to that. I’m relieved I guess.”

I nodded and kicked a pebble near my foot. I wanted to tell him that now it was his turn to do the same and call it quits with this whole vampire donor nonsense. It didn’t work that way. He had to do it on his own.

“Well, it was a mistake. It shouldn’t have happened.” As much as I regretted the pain it had caused, I couldn’t regret what Kale and I had done. Not entirely. I was glad to have that memory. Though the only person I was likely to admit that to would be Jez.

“Lex, you and me, we’re all good. Ok? I could be upset about Kale, but I’m not in the position to point fingers. And honestly, right now, I’m a little more concerned with the request you just made inside. What the hell was that all about?”

Leaning against his car, I tugged my sunglasses back into place, using the sun as an excuse to hide my eyes. “It was just a backup plan. Worst case scenario. No worries? Ok.”

He shook his head, a determined set to his jaw. “Don’t bullshit me. You’re being less than forthcoming here, and I want to know what you’re not telling me.”

I attempted to stifle a yawn. It had been a long couple of days. Before I could respond Shaz was turning me toward my own car.

“You look beat. I’m not feeling so hot myself. But, you’re not getting out of this. I’ll meet you at home.”

Chapter Twenty

Two nights had passed since we had killed Maxwell and Claire and had lost Julian. I’d had a chance to speak with both Shaz and Arys one-on-one about where I stood with Kale. Though Arys was still keeping secrets and Shaz had his own issues, I felt relieved of some of the recent tension among us. I didn’t expect perfection in our relationships. In the world we lived in, I knew better than that. However, I did expect closeness and a willingness to work through our problems. So far, so good. Of course, I still had every intention of getting Arys’ secret out, even if it killed me. Knowing me, it just might.

It was the first night of the full moon. It would be at its fullest tomorrow when I would run with the pack. Usually, I’d be running as a wolf tonight, too, which I was counting on to throw Veryl off. He wouldn’t be expecting me.

I left Raoul’s Jag a few blocks from the office and walked. Driving right up to the door might give me away. Cloaking my presence, I stole through the night with ill intentions.

I glanced back at the sleek black car with a shake of my head. Poor Raoul. He’d have kittens if he could see how I drove that thing. I sure didn’t baby it the way I did my own car. The Jaguar was my stealth machine, the car I used when I didn’t want to announce my presence with a loud, red muscle car.

My right hand was wrapped firmly around the handle of the Dragon Claw. It felt good. Empowering. Burning deep in my core was as much power as I could possibly hold inside my mortal body. It strained for release, and I had to concentrate to make sure it didn’t escape me.

I kept waiting for the nerves to creep in. It didn’t happen. I was rock solid and ready for this. It occurred to me that this might be a mistake, but I didn’t truly believe that. Veryl had hidden my own past from me and then acted like I had no right to be pissed about it. Now he was blackmailing Lilah, someone who had never done anything to make me think she deserved it. Yep. I was ready for this, maybe even a little eager.

I slipped inside the office building with little effort. A couple of locks weren’t going to keep me out. A very weak energy barrier lingered just beyond the doorway; I wasn’t sure if it was meant for me or Lilah. Regardless, Veryl’s power was minimal compared to mine, and I walked right through it.

This wasn’t going to be a showdown; I wanted it to be quick, as fast and clean as possible. At least that was the plan. I didn’t even plan to enjoy it. Though try as I might to resist it, an element of excitement was creeping up inside me. Hunting humans was driven by my weakness and in turn it made me weak. Hunting a creature of the night was a whole different ball game. It made me feel strong and powerful, which I preferred to the former.

Veryl might have been an asshole, but he wasn’t a fool. His door was ajar, open just enough to give him a glimpse of anyone approaching. I could see him from the end of the hall where I stood. He was typing furiously, his eyes fixed on his computer screen. He glanced up with a start, cursing when he saw me.

“You shouldn’t have come, Alexa,” he called as I made my way toward him. “You don’t want to do this.”

“Don’t I?” I gripped the dagger just a little tighter and smiled.

He knocked his chair over in his haste to get up. Reaching under his desk, he produced a well-sharpened stake. Not a trace of fear came from him. Veryl had been expecting this.

“You’re a pawn, Alexa. Playing right into Shya’s hands by doing his dirty work for him. You’re better than this.”

I stood just inside the door to his office. It wasn’t all that big, and the massive desk in the center left little room for a good fight. I had to make this quick.

“Don’t talk. It’s only going to waste time.” I held my free hand up, moving it in a counter-clockwise circle. Power went out from me, pasting Veryl up against the far wall. The stake in his hand was useless.

He glared at me, still unafraid. “We’ve worked together for years. I did all I could to keep you from him. Now just that fast he has you brainwashed? Think this through.”